This Story No Title A School Rumble Fanfic Chapter 4: Beautiful Eyes By John Biles ************* Tenma heard frantic noises in Yakumo’s room. This wasn’t normal, so she came over and looked. Yakumo had clothing strewn everywhere; apparently she and Sara were in the process of taking everything out of her closet, looking at it, and tossing it aside. "I have your green shirt if that’s what you need," Tenma said. "No," Yakumo said. "We’re trying to find something nice to wear," Sara said. "Are you going out?" Tenma asked. "Harima’s coming over," Sara said knowingly. "OOOOH," Tenma said, clapping her hands. "You should have called me immediately. Project Pretty Sister INITIATED!" Sara sweatdropped. Yakumo smiled a tiny smile as Tenma began to dart about the room studying everything, compared Yakumo’s skin to several swatches of cloth, dragged Yakumo in front of a mirror to test about two dozen different forms of makeup on her, and finally began taking measurements. Sara tagged along after her, assisting as best she could, though hardly anyone could keep up with Hurricane Tenma. Yakumo finally ended up in a nice blue dress, wearing matching gloves and slippers, with a flower tucked into her hair and enough makeup for a small army, though Sara had to admit that Tenma did know how to use it well. "I think this may be a little overdressed," Sara said. "Well, in for a dollar sale, out for a...whatever," Tenma said. "It’s too late now to change it." Yakumo looked at herself in the mirror, patting her hair. "It’s very nice. Thank you, onee-chan," she said. "So what’s the big occasion?" Tenma asked. Sara put a finger to her lips. Tenma looked confused and put a finger to her own lips, then looked quizzically at Sara. They stared at each other in confusion, until Yakumo turned around and said, "We...umm...special..." She felt herself grow more embarrassed as she tried to say it. Tenma looked at her and her eyes widened. "Like that? You mean...What if the parents come home?" "They’re on the Grand Line," Yakumo said. "Isn’t that halfway across the world?" "True," Tenma said. "But you...I mean..." She grew embarrassed at the thought, and a little jealous. "Just...are you sure it’s wise?" "I..." Yakumo stared at the floor. "I want to know his heart," she mumbled. Tenma’s eyes crossed, and Sara blushed a little. Tenma said, "I just...I don’t want to have to listen. I mean...Oh, maybe this isn’t a good idea." She tugged her side hairspikes. "Do you really think...you’re ready to go so far?" Yakumo tried to study her sister’s thoughts, but they were even more garbled than usual, and seemed to heavily involve Karasuma in various outfits. "I..." She could feel her will dissolving in the face of her sister’s worries. "I mean...he has slept in my room, so it just..." "But not in the same bed!" Tenma protested. "And that was just him getting tired, right?" "I fell asleep and he kept working," Yakumo said. A horrible mental image hit Tenma and she bled from her nose, spinning and falling. Sara dove and caught her. Yakumo said, "Onee-chan!!!" Tenma soon recovered. "Not like...I mean..." "On the essay," Yakumo said. Tenma gave a sigh of relief. "I don’t know...if you’re old enough, Yakumo." "Lots of people our age do it," Sara said. "I wouldn’t mind...with Asou." She blushed a little. Tenma’s eyes widened. "You and Asou?" Sara said quickly, "We haven’t done anything. I just...I wouldn’t mind." The younger generation wants to grow up so fast, Tenma thought. "You’ve got to...I mean, it’s a big step. And you have to be absolutely sure how he feels. Some guys...lose interest after that." Yakumo’s eyes widened. "Really?" Tenma nodded sagely. "They’re just in it for the conquest." "Have you and Karasuma..." Yakumo asked hesitantly. Tenma said, "We haven’t gone THAT far." "Is it really such a big thing?" Yakumo asked. "I mean, I’ve seen people doing it at school." Smoke came out of Tenma’s ears. "AT SCHOOL? IN PUBLIC?" Sara nodded. "Keiko does it with her boyfriend all the time between classes." "THAT FAST?" Tenma asked, boggled. "Then she talks about it," Yakumo said, embarrassed. "All the time." "Oh ho, corrupting our youth!" Tenma said. She put a hand on Yakumo’s shoulder. "Just be sure. I will test him, see if he is worthy." That seemed sort of reasonable to Yakumo. Or made a good excuse to back down, anyway. She wanted to, but she felt herself start to get all nervous and jumpy when she thought about it. "I’ll help," Sara said. "Don’t worry, Yakumo-chan. You’re in good hands." *************** "This is a really bad idea," Nara said. "You can go home if you’re afraid," Imadori said as he lurked in the bushes studying the grounds. "Fuyuki will stand by me, right?" "NOTHING stands between me and pictures," Fuyuki said. Nara hesitated. But he’d never winkle Imadori’s secrets out of him if he ran away. Also, if he was lucky, Fuyuki would get some good pictures of Tenma. "I won’t run away." "Good," Imadori said. "No man lets fear keep him from learning a woman’s measurements." He peered at the house. "Let’s go." They began to creep towards the house, moving from shadow to shadow, carefully staying away from lit windows. Nara was just about to go up the wall with a rope for the others, being the lightest, when there was a roar and Harima drove up on his cycle. Imadori faded into the bushes. Fuyuki threw himself flat in the tall grass. Nara tried to cling to the wall like a gecko. Harima’s headlights spotlighted him like a deer on a highway. Nara froze, while Imadori began to quietly whisper the last rights for the poor soul. Harima strode over to him. "What are you DOING on Tenma-chan’s house? ARE YOU AFTER HER UNDERWEAR?" Nara tried to wave his hands in denial. "No, no, I’m not an underwear thief!" He could hear movement in the house. "I won’t let you get away with this!" Harima said, charging forward, only to suddenly have a bright flash go off in his eyes. Instead of hitting Nara, he crashed into the wall and knocked himself down. The wall shook and Nara fell off it, landing on the dazed Harima. Fuyuki grabbed Nara and ran. "You owe me one." "Fall back," Imadori said. "We’re going to need a better plan." They fell back to a block away and resumed planning. ************* Tenma ran out of the house, Sara close behind her, and found Harima stunned by the dented wall. "Kenji-kun!" Tenma said. "Help me take him in, Sara." She nodded and grabbed his arms and began to drag him along. He roused as they got him onto the porch. "Nara...wall..." Harima babbled. "He thinks he’s in the past!" Tenma announced. She yelled into his ear. "THE YEAR IS 2005, KENJI-KUN!" That rattled him awake. "Nara...he was on the wall. Did I beat him?" "Nara on the wall?" Sara asked. "Oh, you mean the person, not the period," Tenma said. "We didn’t see anyone, just you. Did you crash your bike?" "No, there was..." He rubbed his face. "You didn’t see him?" Tenma shook her head. Yakumo came out now, lurking in the doorway nervously. "Are you alright, K...Kenji-kun?" Harima sat up. "I’m fine. I just hit the wall somehow, I think. There was a light and then I was on the ground somehow." He frowned. "Like a UFO?" Sara asked. "Kenji-kun was abducted by a UFO! Did they brand you?" Tenma asked. Yakumo put a hand over her mouth in surprise. Sara said, "I think he must have just crashed." "I didn’t crash! There was Nara and a light and..." He sighed. "Well, I’m here now." "Well..." Tenma said. "Sara and I need to talk to you before you and Yakumo...do stuff." Harima looked at Tenma, then said, "Lead me on, Tenma-chan." "I intend to do just that," she said, then she and Sara dragged Harima off to her room. "We’ll be right back, Yakumo!" Harima felt his brain melting at being inside Tenma’s room. Rapidly, he disconnected from any semblance of reality. She must be ready to finally confess her love, he thought. With Sara to be her witness. Tenma sat down on the bed, while Harima scrunched down happily on the floor by the low table. Sara sat down next to Tenma. "We need to know that your intentions towards Yakumo are honorable," Sara said. "Of course they are," Harima said. "I could never do anything to hurt Tenma-chan’s sister." They must be worried I’ve banged my head and gone crazy or something, he decided. That did seem to happen to people a lot. Sara smiled. Tenma looked relieved. "Have you done this with...with anyone before?" Tenma asked. "Done what?" Harima asked. "You know..." Tenma said, nervously. "It." "If you mean answering questions..." he began. "No, no," Sara said. "We just need to know if you really like Yakumo." "Yes," he said. "I like Yakumo." He tried to think of anything he might have done to indicate otherwise. "I wasn’t babbling after I ran into the wall, was I?" "Only about Nara," Tenma said. Why would I be... "I could have sworn he was there," Harima said, once he remembered why. Then he tensed. She doesn’t like that little punk, does she? Maybe she’s worried I beat up the boy she likes...no, she can’t be in love with him, Harima thought, getting nervous. Maybe they were having a secret rendezvous...a forbidden love...No, no! "You weren’t expecting him, were you?" "Not really," Tenma said. "So you...I know...you don’t like older women, do you?" The nurse seems AWFULLY friendly with him, she thought. "No," he said. "Older women are too bossy," he said, thinking of his cousin. Sara asked, "It’s just...the nurse..." "I can’t help what she does," Harima said. "My heart is fixed on one woman, just like you told me to be, Tenma- chan." She smiled a little. "I remember. I just...remember, don’t be a monkey. You must think only of the woman you love." He nodded. "Of course." "And be gentle to her," Tenma said. He got out a blank piece of paper and began taking notes; he couldn’t risk forgetting Tenma telling him what she wanted of him. Sara smiled a little at that. "And..." Tenma gulped. "If you...I mean...after you do...do it...a woman likes to be held." She paused. "You know what I mean?" Harima carefully wrote ‘After you are gentle to a woman, she likes to be held.’ "Got it." "Just promise me...you won’t run around or run out on her, okay?" Tenma asked. "I promise," Harima said, smiling. It’s so cute when she pretends she’s talking about someone else, but it’s really her, he thought. Tenma took a deep breath. "Okay, then." "Go for it," Sara said, smiling. Harima looked confused. "Go for what?" "You can...with Yakumo now." Tenma said, trembling slightly. He suddenly wondered if she had told Tenma and Sara about the manga. Surely not, he thought. I mean... I must be imagining things. He got up. "Okay, if you need us, we’ll be in her room." "Just don’t...be too loud, okay?" Tenma asked. "We’ll be quiet," he said. She patted him on the shoulder nervously. "Ganbatte!" And then they ushered him out. As he walked, he tried to figure out what exactly had been going on. He’d thought at first maybe Tenma was going to do a love confession, but she must not have been able to do it. And why was Sara there? He had the vague feeling some girl thing was going on. Not his problem right now; working on the manga and apologizing for being late was. Harima knocked, and Yakumo softly said, "Come in." He came in and bowed. "Sorry I am late." "It’s no problem," she said. She was sitting on her bed, clad in a very nice dress. He smiled at her, and got out his folder and supplies. "Ready to work?" he asked. "I’m ready," she said. "I have been drawing character sketches while I waited." "Show me," Harima commanded. She slid them across the table and he began to study them. The first was a dark haired girl, her hair a little long, but not really tremendously long, with vivid red eyes, middling in height and build. "This would be the heroine’s little sister, Hachiko," Yakumo said. The girl was wearing an apron and had a frying pan in one hand and a staff in the other. "She does the cooking." "And the staff?" "That’s for keeping away another of the characters," Yakumo said. She came around to kneel by Harima nervously and brought another of the characters to light. He studied this one; the man’s face was shrouded by huge glasses with hearts in each lens. He wore a gi and looked muscular. "This is Inowa Shun. He’s a martial artist who is obsessed with getting Hachiko to date him, and thinks the hero is muscling in on his ‘girlfriend’. This leads to them fighting a lot." "But the hero is after the heroine," Harima said. "Is he stupid?" "Yes," Yakumo said. "That works," Harima said. "I know a lot of stupid people." He looked at the first character again. "She’s the domestic type?" "She likes quiet evenings and helping out around the house and animals and walks in the park," Yakumo said nervously. "She wants to learn to talk to animals," she said more nervously. Harima said, "Hmm, the hero talks to animals. That could work. And the staff?" "Her father told her to take care of her older sister when he went away to sail around the world, so she got that to fight off any threats to her," Yakumo said in a fit of inspiration. "Also, she needs it to keep Kazuya away." Harima nodded. "Sounds reasonable. Is she in love with someone?" "She isn’t sure," Yakumo said. "She’s not experienced enough...to be sure what it feels like." She gulped at that. "Are you okay?" he said. "You seem really tense." "I..." She suddenly wondered if he’d even noticed how she was dressed. If it was as obvious to him and he was pretending not to notice in order to let her down gently. But she couldn’t read him at all, and it frustrated her. And then there was a flicker around his mind, a sense of worry. It vanished, but just seeing it made her feel a little better. "I’m kind of tense, because...I was scared you wouldn’t like them." "They’re fine," he said. "We need more supporting cast." That made her feel better. "Ha...Kenji-kun, can I ask you a question?" "Sure," he said, turning to the paper and examining a picture of a short-haired blonde girl; she wore a nun uniform. "Is she the school chaplain?" "That’s a good idea," Yakumo said, then tried to muster her will. "Kenji-kun...what..." She felt her nerves jangle. "Hmm?" he asked, looking up from the nun picture. "Do you think...have you ever..." Yakumo could feel her heart beating faster. "I think maybe we should have the nun and the martial artist fall in love in the end," Harima said, assuming she was nervous about her work and that he ought to assure her it interested him. "They’d look cute together." Yakumo started and look at them. "Hmm, that could work." "Well, we need to work out an overall framework, as the prize story did sort of resolve things, so to do another one..." Harima laughed nervously. "Makes you nervous, doesn’t it?" Yakumo nodded. "I’m thinking maybe a fantastic setting, some kind of high school for wizards and witches, and the hero gets into it, even though he doesn’t know any magic, to pursue the woman he loves," Harima said. "How does that sound? The nun could be the school’s priestess who chases off evil ghosts and things." "That works. So the sisters are witches?" "Yes," Harima said. "Our hero got in because he has..." "A magic punch," Yakumo said. "But he hasn’t learned anything else yet." "Oooh, that’s good," Harima said. I could use a magic punch, he thought. For that guy, if nothing else. Yakumo tried to focus herself. But the words won’t come out. Harima was sketching out what the school would look like, and she watched him work; he was really good at drawing. She was pretty good, but not up to his skill level. She began doodling, letting her hands work while she tried to figure out how to say...what to say. It was all very strange to her. He finished drawing and showed her the picture, then looked at her doodle. It was then that Yakumo realized she’d drawn the witch-girl puckered up for a kiss. Harima said, "Oooh, good feeling in that one. She looks really intense." "Thank you," Yakumo said, a little embarrassed. "I wasn’t sure...I don’t know much about kissing." "Kissing isn’t about knowing," Harima said, tapping his head. "It’s about feeling." He tapped his heart. "It’s all in there, if you just let it out." He looked at the picture. "So who is she trying to kiss?" "She’s...She wants to kiss someone, someone special to her." Yakumo trailed off, feeling her heart speed up. She looked over at Harima, but she couldn’t read his heart. He was as impenetrable as ever, and it frustrated her. "But she doesn’t know how to admit it, how to reach his heart." "Yeah," Harima said, a little sadly. "It’s hard to know what people really feel." She felt a pang, and for a moment, she could feel his heart, could see him gazing off wistfully across a room. And then it was gone, but it gave her new hope. She moved over a little closer to him. "Kenji-kun..." she asked softly. "Are you in love with anyone?" He froze up, dropping his pencil. "I...uh...what makes you ask?" "I was just...you write so well about love, and I thought it had to come...from experience," Yakumo said, wimping out. Harima felt his brain whirl. "Yeah, well, I’ve been around a lot." That was true, if not very informative. "I just...I keep wondering what a kiss is like," Yakumo said. "But Takano-sempai stole the kiss." Harima tried to focus his mind. "Takano-sempai has been stealing your kisses?" "She...the play..." Yakumo said. Harima flashed back to the play. "You don’t think she’s in love with me, do you?" he asked nervously. "I don’t understand why she did that," Yakumo said, trying to make herself look Harima in the eyes, though his sunglasses got in the way. "Me neither," he said. "I guess I should find out." He got his phone out. "Are you going to call her?" Yakumo asked. "Yes," he said, dialing. Akira soon answered. "Hello, Kenji-kun." "I didn’t say you could call me that," he said. "You can’t stop me," she replied. "What’s up? Need advice on dealing with women?" That might not be too bad, he thought. "Is it going to cost me?" "Depends on the question," she replied. "I...thank you for helping me protect my animal friends. I never thought to thank you for it," he said, suddenly remembering this. There was silence. "I..." It was exceedingly difficult for him to say it. "It would have been a lot harder without you guys." He couldn’t quite admit he likely couldn’t have done it at all alone. "You are one of us now," Akira said softly. "Friends watch out for each other." Suddenly, Harima wondered if Tea Club was like the Mafia...once you’re in, you never get out. He dismissed the silly thought. "Friends," he mumbled thoughtfully. Harima had always been a loner. He got on well with his brother, and lived with his cousin, but he hadn’t really had friends. Not his own age. Haruka had mentored him in being a delinquent, but that wasn't really the same thing. And he’d broken away, once he felt ready to stand on his own. People tied you down, you had to do things for them, and sometimes, usually, they didn’t live up to the expectations you had of them. It wasn’t easy having friends. So much easier to be independent. His mind rambled; it was good at that. He’d left the school when he’d seen Karasuma with Tenma. He’d planned to never come back. But everyone he met...they told him to come back. They wanted him around. But then why did they still laugh at him? He still didn’t understand people. "Why did you crucify me?" "You weren’t supposed to be in that bed, and the whole class play almost went horribly wrong because you did. You saw Eri and Yakumo fighting, didn’t you?" "Yes," Harima said. "It was your punishment," she said. "But I didn’t mean to leave you up there." "It really wasn’t too bad, but I missed my chance to dance," he said. "It did get me out of working to clean up." Akira laughed softly. "Kenji-kun, just remember that sometimes friends may hurt each other, but it doesn’t mean they stop being friends. If I make fun of you, it doesn’t mean I don’t like you. It’s just my way." "Just don’t crucify me again. I almost fell on Tenma- san and Eri-san almost got hurt," Harima said. The thought of that made him very unhappy. "I know," she said sadly. "It won’t happen again." "Okay, I just wanted to thank you," he said. "I guess you have homework or work or whatever to do." "Homework," she said. "Which you should probably do more of." "You’re a good tutor," he said. "I’m sure Tenma-san and I will be seeing a lot of you about that." "Bring your homework to club tomorrow," Akira said. "We can drink tea and study." He made a face at the idea of doing homework. "And don’t make faces at me," Akira said. He froze up. "See you tomorrow, Kenji-kun." "See you tomorrow, Akira-san," he said. Two can play at that game, he thought. He hung up the phone. Ugh, going to be stuck doing homework when I could be at Tenma-chan’s house, he thought. But he knew better than to try and flee someone who had been mentored by his cousin. "She said it was for messing up the play napping in the wrong place," Harima said. "But she didn’t crucify me," Yakumo said. "You’re her kohai, so you get off easy," Harima said. "You have to take care of your kohai, and scold them gently." She licked her lips nervously, then said, "Am I your manga kohai?" she asked softly. He looked at her; he had the vague feeling there was something behind what she was saying. "Like you told me, we all need someone to share a secret with." He licked his lips nervously, mustering his will, then said, "You’re not just a kohai, you’re probably my best friend." Making a confession like that didn’t come easily to him. "I think you...you understand me." I just wish I could understand you better, he thought. She was so hard to read. She drifted a little closer, then hesitantly reached up and took off his sunglasses. She could make out, just the shadows of his heart, like something reaching out to her, but there was a barrier in the way. He started when she did this. "I’d like to understand you better," she said, shifting positions to kneel before him, leaning forwards just a little. "To help guard your secrets, like I do this one. So I can know you." He could feel his heartbeat speeding up. She looked so utterly cute and kind and gentle, just like her sister. Her eyes widened slightly now, as she looked at him; she looked scared and happy at once. "My glasses," he said weakly, reaching for them. She let him take hold, but kept her hold on them too, leaning a little closer. "You have beautiful eyes," she said softly, then blushed slightly. "They’re so kind." "I’m not kind..." he said softly. "I had to beat the...beat up a dozen people earlier today." He turned aside his gaze. That wasn’t the sort of man he wanted to be for Tenma, but it still came too easily to him. But Tenma would never have forgiven him if he let Eri get hurt. And...he didn’t want to see her get hurt. For all that she could be a rich bitch sometimes. He remembered dancing with her. It had been exactly the sort of thing he’d wanted to do with Tenma. But nothing ever seemed to move on that front. Because he was brave enough to take on a dozen men, but not to tell her how he really felt. She took his chin, hesitantly, half-tugging it to turn his gaze back to her. "Look at me," she said softly. But he couldn’t. She’d see right through him. He felt suddenly like such a sham. So eager to run back to his fighting, to the days he’d lived for himself. Tenma needed a man who could function in her world. Could he? The thoughts had flickered in, then flickered out, but she could read from his face that something was making him very sad. Was it her? But he’d said she was his best friend, she thought. She didn’t understand. But it was...she’d felt a bond there. Had she imagined it? Maybe he just felt guilty over the fight. "I trust you," she said softly. "Not to start a fight if you had a choice." You don’t know the old me, he thought. How I was, once upon a time. I want to be a better man for Tenma, but I can’t...I’m still a delinquent at heart, even though I try to stop. "Yakumo," he began. Then he saw the window opening, and Nara creeping in the window; he seemed to be hung from a long pole, which was slowly extending him forwards towards Yakumo’s dresser drawers. Softly, he whispered, "There’s a pervert after your underwear. Don’t turn around." She froze up, and he pulled her in close to where their faces were almost touching. "This way, they won’t realize I’ve noticed them," he whispered. She closed her eyes and said softly, "Maybe...it might fool them better if we..." She moved her lips a little closer to his. She could feel his heart beating, felt it speeding up, his body tensing. She cracked her eyelids open, and she caught a fragment of his thoughts. ‘She’s so soft,’ went by, and she blushed and closed her eyes, suddenly afraid to look more, though she told herself to open her eyes. Nara nervously opened the drawer, even as Harima brought his arms around Yakumo, embracing her tightly as they half-sat, half-kneeled on the floor. One of his feet slid under the table, getting ready. Nara had two bras in his hands as Harima kicked the table up to the level of his hands. His hands grabbed the table and hurled it at the pole, which snapped in half. Nara fell to the floor and the rest of the pole was flung backwards, sending Fuyuki and Imadori toppling to the ground outside. The door flew open and Sara and Tenma tumbled in. Tenma saw Nara on the floor, bras in his hand. "Nara, what are you DOING!!!!" "Imadori made me do it!" Nara protested. "You two really are lovers!" Sara said, blushing. "NOOOO!!!!!" Nara shouted. "Tenma, hold your sister," Harima said, pivoting and depositing Yakumo gently on top of the tumbled Tenma. He then ran to the window and leaped out. Fuyuki got up just in time for Harima to hammer him into the ground. "Stealing Yakumo-san’s underwear! I will not forgive!" Imadori began to run. He was a good runner. Unfortunately for him, Harima was faster. "I will punish you!!!!" Harima shouted. Imadori looked around, hoping desperately that Mikoto or Karen was around to hide behind. His luck, however, was up. "PERVERT SMASHING PUNCH!" Harima shouted and uppercutted Imadori into the next prefecture. As Imadori sailed skywards, Harima turned and headed back to the house. ************** Akira came back into the living room with the popcorn and tea. "So what’s eating you?" she asked as she sat down next to Eri, who was watching Ninja Judge 3. The court had just been cleared with a naginata. "Nothing," Eri said. "You only come over here to watch ninja movies when something is bothering you," Akira pointed out, sipping her tea. Eri stuffed her mouth with popcorn, watching the DA try to subtly poison a witness. She munched until the witness began to turn blue, then said, "Hige drives me crazy." "So, feeling jealous because he’s over at Yakumo’s?" Akira asked. She got out her camera and snapped a photo of Eri. "I had popcorn in my mouth! I’m going to look awful!" Eri said, trying to grab the camera. They ended up wrestling around until finally, Akira had Eri’s legs pinned with her own and had both of Eri’s arms pinned behind her back. "Hmm, now how to take a picture..." "Akira!" Eri shouted. "A lot of boys would go crazy for a picture of this. Big profit," Akira said. "What about your reputation?" Eri protested. "I don’t have one," Akira said. "You’d be the big profit part of it." Eri stared at her. Was she serious? Or just joking. "C’mon, Akira. You can’t mean you don’t care what people think about you." "I only care what a few people think about me," Akira said. "Everyone else doesn’t matter." "I..." Eri began nervously. "You care what I think, don’t you?" "Of course," Akira said, now releasing her from the hold. "So what’s eating you?" "Nothing," Eri insisted, then found herself pinned in another hold. "Ahh!" Akira laughed softly. "Maybe Harima-kun would like a picture of us together, hmm?" Eri turned red. "I’m not thinking about what he said to me this afternoon!" Akira released her, then took a sip of tea. "And what would that be?" "Nothing," Eri said firmly, then saw Akira beginning to move. "He told them that if they touched me, he would kill them." Akira cocked her head slightly. "They?" Eri said, "Some gang of punks. Their leader, he said..." She took a sip of tea to avoid having to say it. Akira waited patiently. "He called me Kenji’s half-breed girlfriend. And Kenji told him, told him that if he touched a hair of the woman he loved, that he would kill him." Akira’s eyes crossed. "Too many hes." Eri tried again. "Kenji basically said he would kill anyone who touched the woman he loved. And later, he told the guy that he—Kenji—would kill him—the guy—if he—the guy—touched me." She licked her lips nervously. "I mean, if that isn’t...but he says all these weird things. You know." "Probably it was the sort of macho stuff men like him spout all the time. It doesn’t necessarily mean that he loves you." Eri flopped onto her belly, turned her eyes to the TV in time to see Ninja Judge sentence one of the lawyers to death for contempt. You wouldn’t THINK you could take a head off with a thrown citation. "I just can’t figure out what he’s thinking." "It would be easier if we all read minds," Akira said. "But then we’d have no privacy. What do YOU think about him?" "Me? We’re not talking about me," Eri said frantically. "Now, see, if I could read your mind, I would know you are lying, and not just be guessing," Akira said, then filled her mouth with popcorn and began to chew delicately. Eri got some more and munched on it, then said, "You know their secret." It wasn’t a question. "Yes." "Will you tell me?" she asked pleadingly. "No," Akira said. "But..." "It is THEIR secret. I only know because they are both terrible at keeping secrets," Akira said. "Is it about his parents?" "No." "His cousin who he lives with? I FINALLY figured that all out." "No." "Haruka?" Akira coughed on her tea, then frowned at herself for missing some of the flavor from coughing. A waste. "Who?" "It’s a secret," Eri proclaimed. "I can’t tell you." "Well, then," Akira said. "Is it about the last school he went to?" "No." "His family?" "We already did his family." Eri frowned. "How he got his motorcycle?" "No." "Why he has all that facial hair?" "That is A secret," Akira said. "Wait, there’s more than one?" Eri asked. "Yes," Akira said. Eri groaned. "But the facial hair...well, he has mostly gotten rid of it." "After Tenma and Mikoto told him he looks better without it," Akira said. "Is that a hint?" Eri asked. "I know Tenma thought he liked Mikoto, but now she’s so sure he likes Yakumo." "Just think about everything that’s happened." Eri rolled onto her back and tried to think, but her mind just kept throwing images around. "They haven’t..." "No," Akira said. "I don’t think they have." "I mean, she said that, but they...I mean, three days," Eri said, then felt something click in her mind. "That thing...he mailed...that was right after all that." "Yes," Akira said. But what was in it? That was the key, she felt. It had to be. I should ask Butler-san, she thought. Maybe he knows. ***************** Harima returned to find Tenma shaking Nara. "Why did you turn to a life of crime, Nara? Why? Did your family not give you enough fiber?" "I...IMADORI!" Nara shouted. "Imadori and Fuyuki are down for the count," Harima said. "I think they’re after Yakumo’s measurements." "They could have just asked," Sara said. Yakumo blushed. Tenma sighed. "What did you do with Imadori and Fuyuki?" "I tossed them into some bushes so people wouldn’t see them from the street," Harima said. "That was very thoughtful of you," Tenma said. Harima smiled brightly. Tenma sighed. "Nara, you shouldn’t let Imadori trick you into helping him be a monkey." "I know," he mumbled. "I just..." Nara looked over at Harima, who was standing in the middle of Sara, Yakumo, and Tenma. It suddenly hit him that Harima must know something about women too, to have them all around him. "I just want to know more about women," he mumbled. "Stealing underwear isn’t the best way," Tenma said kindly. She took Nara’s hand. "Come with me; Sara and I will teach you, so you don’t have to be Imadori’s monkey." Sara whispered to Tenma, whose hair-tendrils flapped frantically for a moment. Harima froze, staring at Nara holding Tenma’s hand. But he couldn’t do anything, not with Tenma watching. Teaching...no, surely not! He could feel the tiny worms of jealousy burrowing through his brain. Tenma hustled Nara out. Sara paused at the door, then said, "We’ll make sure he doesn’t interrupt you two, okay?" "Okay," Yakumo said. "Help her clean up, okay?" Sara said to Harima, then left. Harima helped clean up the mess, tossing the pole remains out the window, then picked up the table. "Dammit, it’s scuffed now." "We can polish it, right?" Yakumo said. She paused. "Thank you." "For scuffing the table?" he asked, then glanced back towards the door. "For saving my underwear," she said, then hesitantly said, "You’re standing on it." "Sorry!" he said, idly scooping up bras and panties and stuffing them into the drawer. She gulped. "They’ll wrinkle if they aren’t folded." "Like origami?" he asked in confusion. "Don’t you fold your underwear?" she asked. "I don’t wear girl’s underwear!" he protested frantically. "Well, it’s not that different." She got out the crumpled goods and demonstrated while he watched. Far away, Imadori felt his soul burning and didn’t know why. "What, like this?" Harima said, folding one set of panties. "Yes." "That’s a lot easier than making a duck," Harima observed. "Umm, yes," Yakumo said. "Well, that mess is over." He glanced off towards Tenma’s room, listening. "You don’t think..." Yakumo said, "I think a lot." "..." They stared at each other, then Harima said, "You don’t think Nara will try anything, do you? Maybe we’d better watch over them." Yakumo thought about a memory. "God punishes peepers." "You just can’t trust an underwear thief with an innocent young girl like Tenma," Harima said. "Or Sara." Yakumo suddenly remembered Keiko talking about some way to take her bra off without removing her shirt. "You don’t think...he knows the bra trick?" Harima frowned deeply. "Which trick?" He’d fought this whackjob once, who used bras as slings. Total freak and a half. "Where you take the bra off without taking the shirt off," Yakumo said. Harima’s eyes widened. "Nara can do that?" "Umm...maybe," Yakumo said hesitantly. "I must protect Tenma!" Harima said. As he was halfway to the door, he paused, then said, "WE must protect Tenma. Come on." She smiled a little and followed him, despite a feeling of doom. ************** Tenma sat Nara down. "You’re a nice guy, Nara, so I want to help you so you don’t become a monkey." He nodded. "Just remember," Sara said, "Guys can confuse us as much as we confuse you." Nara nodded. "Just remember, if a girl likes you, she’ll start spending more time around you," Tenma said. "That’s her way of hinting. Especially if she makes you food." "Food is love," Sara said. "Food is love," Nara repeated, imagining Tenma cooking him a nice meal. She’s probably a great cook, he thought. "Also, if she’ll do something that isn’t feminine with you, that’s a good sign," Tenma said. "If a woman really likes you, she’ll try the things you like." "But don’t come on too strong," Sara said. "No one wants a puppy to follow them around." "But don’t be too aloof, or she may not realize if you like her or not," Tenma said. "Not too strong or aloof," Nara said. "Also, if she draws you in Ukiyo-e style, it means she likes you," Tenma said. "Or if she gets a job where you’re working," Sara said. "So if she gets a job drawing Ukiyo-e ..." "You’re set," Tenma said. "See, you’re getting it." It’s all so complicated, he thought. "What if...what if she invites you to go out in the countryside with her friends? For a vacation together?" "Definite love," Tenma said. Nara felt his heart jump for joy. Sara looked very thoughtful. Tenma said, "If a woman invites all her girlfriends, and just one boy, then she definitely likes the boy." "What if...there was a boy for everyone?" Nara asked nervously. "It shows she takes care of her friends," Tenma said. "So they don’t have to watch and be lonely." Sara nodded. "Exactly." Suddenly, Nara felt much more hopeful. "Just be careful," Tenma said. "If you press someone too hard, they may say something crazy instead of what they really feel." "Or they may be too shy to admit how they feel. Sometimes people need a little nudging," Sara said. She paused. "And a few need a really solid shove. So talking to her girlfriends to see what they think might help." "If you really want to impress her, you should tell how pretty she is," Tenma said thoughtfully. "But don’t sound like you only care about looks, or you become Imadori-sempai," Sara said. "Oooh, good point," Tenma said. Nara felt his head spin. "So tell her she looks good without caring what she looks like." "That’s it!" Tenma said. "Well, you should care some," Sara said. "But not too much." Fortunately for Nara, Harima’s original determination to kick his ass had turned into him lurking just outside the door and listening in while taking notes. Yakumo tugged gently on his arm, "I think they’re fine. God punishes peepers." "This is important," he whispered. "Guys normally don’t get this kind of advice." Yakumo still had a bad feeling about this, even if she couldn’t read his mind. ************** Imadori pulled himself out of the bushes. "Where’s Nara?" "I think they got him," Fuyuki said as he crawled loose. "We need another minion." "We could get Buddha," Imadori suggested. "How exactly do you propose to get Buddha in a second story window?" Fuyuki asked. "Also, he’s not a minion." He paused. "You know, he might already know Yakumo’s measurements." "Call him," Imadori said. A quick call showed that they were out of luck. Buddha, however, was able to send them another minion. Yoshidayama. Broom hair and all, he arrived quickly. "So what’s the mission?" he asked. "We must collect Tsukamoto Yakumo’s bust-size or perish in the attempt," Imadori said. "Right," he said. "What’s the opposition." "Harima is defending the house." Yoshidayama crossed himself even though he wasn’t a Christian. But it worked against vampires, he was pretty sure. Maybe other things. He began a half-remembered Buddhist mantra, just to be sure. "We can..." Imadori began. "Who am I kidding? If we don’t get him out, we’re dead." "We could call him, tell him his house is on fire," Yoshidayama suggested. "That could work, but we don’t have his number. Also, you’ll have to call him as he won’t trust us," Fuyuki said. "Hmm, Akira knows his number," Imadori said. "Call her." Yoshidayama dialed up Akira. "Takano-san, can I ask you a favor?" "Sure," Akira said. "I need Harima’s phone number." "That will be one thousand yen," Akira said. "How can I pay you over the phone?" "I take credit cards," Akira said. He sighed and slowly read off the number to her. "If you abuse this..." he began. "I am one hundred percent confidential," she said. She read off a number to him. "That’s Harima’s phone number. You can instant message him as well." "Thanks, Takano-san." "You’re welcome. What did you need it for?" "His house is on fire. Doesn’t look like he’s home, so I thought someone should tell him." "Very benevolent of you," Akira said. "Remind him that Tea Club meets tomorrow after school, please." "Sure," he said. "Thanks and bye." Click. He now dialled up Harima. Harima didn’t answer the call, so he tried sending an instant message. "Maybe he’s in the bathroom," Fuyuki speculated. "Maybe he’s in bed with Yakumo," Imadori said, sounding jealous. Their eyes all crossed at that. "Hmm, I’ll try calling her," Yoshidayama said. Yakumo answered, "Hello?" "Hi, I’m one of your boyfriend’s classmates, Yoshidayama," he said. "I tried calling him to tell him his house is on fire." He heard several whispers. "He says he doesn’t have a house." "The place he LIVES is on fire." Whisper, whisper. "He says that he called his cousin and she says their home is not on fire at all. What address were you looking at?" Yoshidayama looked around frantically, then read off the nearest address he could read in a panic. "That’s our house," Yakumo said. "Aargh, wrong key, hold on..." He put a hand over the phone. "She needs to know the address of Harima’s house." "Damned if I know," Imadori said. "Isn’t he over near Hachi-douri?" Fuyuki asked. "Hachi-douri," Imadori said onto the phone. "Dunno the house number." Whisper, whisper. "He says he lives near Kama-douri," Yakumo said. "Look, his house is on fire!" "Well, do you want to talk to him?" Yakumo asked. "Yes." Harima came on, hissing, "I am busy, go away, Yoshi." "YOUR HOUSE IS ON FIRE," Yoshidayama insisted. "Itoko says it is not on fire. Go away." Click. Yoshidayama sighed. "He didn’t fall for it. He must have called whoever he lives with." "Well, if we form a chain, we can probably boost Yoshidayama up to take a look," Imadori said. "See if maybe the coast is clear now." "You know, Nara still hasn’t come out," Fuyuki said. "Harima has probably beaten him to death by now," Imadori said. "He died in a good cause." They bowed their heads in mourning. ************* Nara scribbled more notes. "Never forget all the milestones." "Exactly," Tenma said. "Birthday, the day you met, your first kiss, first date, the first time you went shopping with her, first time you saw your song." "Heard," Sara said. "Close enough. If we knew who she was, we could probably give you more advice," Tenma said. "Though there’s a lot more general ground too." Nara blushed. "I...well..." Tenma patted his head like a cute puppy might be petted. "It’s hard, I know. If you like, you could practice with Sara and I, and we could critique you." "Maybe we should show him how it’s done," Sara said. "I’m good at tuning myself to people," Tenma said. She wandered into her closet, then emerged clad in a t-shirt and jeans like Nara was wearing. Outside the door, Harima was about to break in. Nara would use this to try to confess to Tenma without her realizing it, so he could then seduce her better! He couldn’t allow this! He was about to lunge through the door, when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Yakumo whispered, "Harima, we should go work on our manga." Manga. Save Tenma. Save Tenma was stronger, but he wavered. "He’s going to hit on her!" he hissed to Yakumo. "Sara will protect onee-chan," Yakumo whispered. "We shouldn’t peep." He was about to break in anyway when his phone rang. He cursed and quickly answered it. "What?" he asked. Akira said, "Kenji-kun, can you go to a window and look out in the street for me? Please?" Reluctantly, he went down the hallway to a window. "This had better be important," he told her. "See if you see anyone." "I can see...Fuyuki, Imadori, Yoshidayama. Hey, those punks are still here!" Harima said. "Still?" "They tried to steal Yakumo-san’s underwear," Harima said. There was a moment of silence. "Akira-san?" For a moment, he thought he heard her say ‘Death’, but he was sure that he must have been mistaken. "I should have known they would go so far," Akira said. "You wouldn’t happen to carry firecrackers, by any chance?" "Not any more," he said. "A pity. I see little choice but to unleash the whirlwind." "What?" "I’m going to make a call. I suggest you throw yourself flat, for your own safety," Akira said. "But..." Click. He looked over at Yakumo. "She says to throw ourselves flat." Yakumo got flat; so did Harima. A few seconds later, from Tenma’s room, they heard the shout of "ONEE-CHAN POWA!!!!!" Tenma, clad in a white and red hakama, erupted out of her room like a spirit of destruction. She moved by leaping, not by running, and she reached the window in what seemed an instant. Bow in hand, she began to fire out the window in a frenzy. Harima listened to the sound of screams. Fuyuki yelped loud but quickly. Imadori gave prolonged high- pitched screams. And Yoshidayama swore every time he shouted. And then there was silence. Formally, Tenma said, "Mine enemies have been crushed. They are driven like sheep. Thus is the doom of all evil doers." Her voice sounded strangely hollow. "Onee-chan?" Yakumo asked warily. Tenma relaxed, and her voice returned to normal. "Hi, little sister. Don’t worry, they won’t come back." Harima looked out the window. Fuyuki and Imadori were pinned to trees and buildings by their clothing and a storm of arrows. Yoshidayama was outlined with arrows and pinned by his hair. "Damn," he said. "But they can’t run away if they’re pinned, onee- chan," Yakumo pointed out. "Brother-in-law," Tenma said. "I designate you to go and take out the garbage." He cracked his knuckles. "WITH PLEASURE." It was time to kill for Tenma. Oh yes. This would be fun. ************ As Eri was riding home, she spotted something ahead. "Butler-san, that looks like Harima with someone over his handlebars." "That would be the broom-haired boy," Butler-san said. "I don’t think you ever told me his name." She said, "Pull up alongside." He did so and she lowered her window. Yoshidayama looked rather clobbered. "Harima, why do you have him over your handlebars?" "He kept falling off when I tried to sling him behind me," Harima said. "Why is he unconscious?" "I beat him up for trying to steal Yakumo-san’s underwear." "But...why are you giving him a ride?" Eri asked. "Because he was nice enough to try to warn me my house was on fire. It wasn’t, but he was trying to help me, so I owed him," Harima said. "Beating someone up, then giving them a ride home is kind of strange," Eri said. "A man who doesn’t repay debts is garbage," Harima said. "We going riding after school tomorrow?" "Yes," Eri said. "Oh wait, I’m supposed to be at Tea Club. Maybe two days from now," Harima said. Eri frowned. "Two days, then." "Okay, see you!" Harima turned off. Tea Club, she thought. Well, I don’t belong to any clubs... ************ Taro sat and brooded as he played Halo 2 with one of his pals, Mayaka Keiichi. "I hate that fucker." "What a cowardly fuck. In the old days, he would have just kicked our asses without trying to run away first. That woman has him pussywhipped." Keiichi was short and thin with short dark hair, good with machines, especially electronics. Which was how he’d hacked the X- box they were using so they could rent games and record them to play later for free. Taro glared over at him. Keiichi coughed. "Would have attacked us without hesitating." Taro said, "We’re going to need bigger guns." "Guns? We don’t have any guns," Keiichi said. "It’s a literary allusion," Taro said. He had fits of knowledge, based on being the son of a teacher. "By calling upon the reference, you demonstrate your knowledge of the broader world of thought." "So we don’t actually need bigger guns, we need to watch more movies," Keiichi said. Taro sighed. "We’re gonna need more henches." "You know, he’s kicked the shit out...attacked. Attacked a lot of people. If they hate him more than each other..." "Bingo." "I’m Keiichi." "ALLUSION." "Anyway. So if we ask around..." "Sounds good. Let’s get to it once I finish kicking your..." Keiichi fragged him. "Best two out of three." "You’re on." *************