Prelude:

        Every journey begins somewhere, but not every journey starts 
with the desire to take a trip.  Sometimes, we blunder into taking a 
trip that wasn't planned.  Sometimes we start out on a trip without 
the intention to go as far as we do.  Sometimes we want nothing 
more to stay where we are, but something or someone has another 
opinion.  And sometimes the world moves, and we start down the 
road because it's impossible to stand still.

         The year was 1981.  A child was taking a very short trip 
because she was running from a gang of bullies.  She was a girl, 
though it wasn't easy to tell at her age.  Only five, her hair was 
shorter than that of some of the boys, and her little t-shirt and 
jeans were indistinguishable from that of almost anyone else, 
except perhaps being a bit more tattered and the fact that the shirt 
was advertising a 1973 marathon race.  

       So why had this child been marked for death by a gang of 
seven year olds?  Maybe they were bored.  Perhaps it was the 
same force that drive some children to pull the wings off of flies.  It 
could be the incipient cruelty that threatens to consume everyone 
at times.  It might have been the fact that she was wearing glasses, 
and they were not.  It marked her as soft, flawed, a victim.  It also 
meant there was the danger she might be smarter than them, and 
many humans have a strong instinct to pull down anyone who rises 
above them.  Or perhaps they just didn't like her nine year old 
brother who went around beating them up for equally 
unfathomable reasons, but who was beyond their power to touch.  
While all events have causes, those causes are not always very 
comprehensible or rational, especially when small children are 
involved.

         Her fear was quite comprehensible.  There was only four of 
them, but three were boys and all had at least three inches of 
height on her.  They would have had more, but she was tall for her 
age.  She might have gotten away since she had only four more 
yards to go to make it home, but then she crashed into a tricycle 
that someone had left lying around the front yard she was 
sprinting through.  

          By the time she staggered to her feet, they had caught her.  
One of them, a cute little boy named Timmy, grabbed her arm, 
while the others started pounding on her with sticks and taunting 
her.  One of them took her glasses and started laughing at her.

         They heard running nearby, but they ignored it.  "Four eyes!  
Coward!  Wimpy girl!  Loser!  Miss Potato Head!  You're ugly and 
your mother dresses you funny!"

         She was crying and flailing about wildly, unable to shake 
loose or hit them back.  Then there was a loud thump and one of 
the boys crumpled.  A short girl with dark blonde hair was 
standing behind the boy with a baseball bat raised over her head.  
She turned and hit another one of the boys in the side with it, 
shouting "Leave her alone!"

        The boy doubled over, and the blonde turned on the girl, 
hitting her in the butt and knocking her down, then glared at the 
boy still holding onto their victim.  "LET HER GO!"

         The boy stared for a moment and ran for his life.  The 
knocked down children soon got up and ran, shouting obscenities 
they didn't understand, but had heard their parents use.  The 
blonde girl dropped the baseball bat and went over to the other 
girl.  "Are you okay?  What's your name?  I'm Angela."

        "My...my..."  she couldn't speak clearly through her sobs.  She 
stared through fuzzy sight at the blonde girl, who looked like she 
had a halo on her head.  "You're an Angel?"

         The girl smiled and picked up the other girl's glasses off the 
ground and handed them to her.  "Mommy calls me that, 'cept when 
she's mad at me.  C'mon in, and I'll get you some lemonade."

         "My name is Alexandra.  Alexandra Cook.  I live over there."  
She pointed several houses down the street."  She cleaned her 
glasses and put them on.  She hated the little glass and metal things 
with a passion.  All they ever did was fall off and get her in trouble.  
But for once, she was glad to have them, so she could see the 
person who had saved her.  

         "Nice to meet you.  Wanna be friends?"  Angela opened the 
door for Alexandra.

          "Sure."  Alexandra smiled at her new friend.  A unplanned 
journey had begun.

***************

The Summer People

Chapter 12:  I Would Walk 500 Miles

by 

John Biles

****************

Alex said:

        I hate getting up in the morning.  But I love my alarm clock 
because it's one of those ones you throw at the wall to turn it off.  
Even so, I tend to go through one every three months or so.  It 
would probably help if I didn't fling it full force.  I'm starting to put 
a dent in the wall.

         When I hurled it on Monday morning, my roommate Leslie 
stuck her head out from under her covers and said, "Don't you EVER 
get tired of that?"

        "Not any more tired than you get of listening to that damn 
James Taylor Caroline up my Nose song every time you go to sleep."  
It's actually Carolina in my Mind, but after listening to the stupid 
song every night for three months, it officially tops my 'really 
stupid songs I must make fun of all the time' list.  

        Leslie is a good roommate, but she has one major flaw:  she 
HAS to listen to music while she sleeps or she can't sleep.  I, on the 
other hand, need as much quiet as I can get.  I finally broke down 
and bought her earphones she could wear while she slept, 
otherwise I was going to go mad.  The worst part was that I would 
wake up every time that EVIL song came on, so for months, I spent 
every night hearing that one song over and over.  I nearly smashed 
the CD Player.  I did smash the CD one day, but I bought her a new 
one before she noticed.  I still haven't told her...she'd probably 
crucify me, even though I replaced it.  I think Leslie believes James 
Taylor is God.

        Still, it beat Janie, my freshman year roommate who was 
obsessed with Menudo.  Where she got all their tapes, I don't know 
and don't WANT to know.  Enough about my old roommate.  I 
haven't seen Janie since that year, and I hope to never see her 
again.

        Leslie sat up.  She sleeps naked except for tying a scarf around 
her hair.  Don't ask me why.  She seems to think she's dressed if 
she wears the scarf.  She's got short blue hair.  Yes, blue.  It's dyed, 
not natural, of course.  It should be black.  She used to have a 
nosepin too, but she got some kind of infection and gave up on it.  
I'm glad, since bodypiercing makes me nauseous.  I don't even have 
pierced ears.  Just the thought of making a hole in my body 
repulses me.  Then again, I can't see how she can sleep naked.  I 
can't stand to do that even when only my family is around.  I 
kissed Linda once in the middle of the Quad during the Lunch hour 
with about a billion people milling around us, but I can't sleep 
naked.  Not even after I've had sex.  Weird, huh?  

        "You gonna shower first, or am I?"  Leslie asked, stretching.  

        "You go first."  I tried not to stare.  She's got a nice figure, and 
sometimes it makes my body act up, but I don't have any romantic 
interest in her at all.  She's just a little too deranged for me, I guess.  
I shouldn't say that.  Her lifestyle is her choice.  But I still think 
she's a bit whacko.

          Then again, lots of people would say my lifestyle is whacko.  
Sometimes, I'd agree with them.  It's not that I'm ashamed of what 
I am.  It's more like I'm not sure what that is.  I keep finding 
myself acting like some kind of stereotypical movie militant butch 
lesbian, and that's not what I really am.  But I'm pretty sure I'm 
not the shy girl doormat heterosexual I tried on for size in high 
school, and I pray I'm not the scared little kid victim I once was 
either.  

        I think I'm bisexual, but my emotional and romantic life is a 
such a disaster zone, I'm not sure.  Other than a few random 
thoughts, I never thought about women sexually at all in high 
school.  Not that I remember, anyway, unless you count one dream.  
However, I was the Pope in that dream too, so I don't count it.  
Heck, I married a cat in one dream.  However, I was fed up with 
men by the time I graduated from high school.

         I dated a lot of guys.  Despite being shy, I still got a lot of 
dates.  Unfortunately, they were mostly the scum of the earth, but I 
was so desperate, I didn't care.  Until Jimmy attacked Angel at the 
library.  It was only the third time in my life I'd ever actually 
attacked someone before they attacked me.  I'd had boyfriends hit 
me before, although I at least had the sense to dump most of them.  
I'd never hit them back.

         I learned what the phrase 'see red' means that day.  When I 
heard he'd attacked her, I couldn't believe it, until I went to see 
Angel.  She had a big red bruise on her forehead, and I couldn't 
stop thinking about it.  It hung in my sight like some kind of 
religious icon, and all I could think about was that Jimmy had hurt 
my best friend in the entire world and he had to die.  

         Luckily, my mom sold all of Dad's guns when he got sent to 
jail, or Jimmy would be a corpse, and I'd be in jail with Dad.  
However, she'd kept all of Dad's old baseball paraphernalia.  He 
played minor league baseball for ten years before I was born, and 
he had gotten several major league players to sign his bats.  I took 
one of them and found Jimmy at Pizza Hut, where he worked, and 
when he got off work, I told him it was over and I beat him into 
the ground.  I probably would have killed him, but the manager 
chased me off with a shotgun.  Jimmy could have pressed charges, 
but that would have meant admitting a girl kicked his ass, and he 
wouldn't do that.

         I swore I'd never love again after that.  I even thought about 
becoming Catholic and being a nun, just so I could be somewhere 
with no men around.  I went and talked to my friend Janet's priest 
about it, and he talked me out of it.  It wasn't the right kind of 
reason to enter a religious order.  I'm Methodist, by the way.  My 
folks are Presbyterian, but I started going to church with Angel all 
the time and finally formally joined the Methodist church when I 
was thirteen.  

         Anyway, I'm starting to get sidetracked.  Since being a nun 
was out, I simply decided to never date anyone ever again unless I 
knew for a fact they were perfect.  More or less.  So I spent my 
first semester of college pissed off, dateless, and alone.  My 
roommate, Janie, had roughly the intelligence level of a rutabaga, 
and a higher personal income than my mother.  My dad was an 
electrician after he stopped being a pro baseball player, and Mom 
worked her way up from being a shelf-stocker to being assistant 
manager at HEB.  But she has too many kids, and so my family's 
always had to scrape for money ever since Dad left the minor 
leagues because he was getting too old.  I work forty hours a week 
so that I can afford this third-rate school without having to send 
Mom to the poor house.  My grades weren't good enough to get a 
full scholarship like Angela, who isn't much better off than me.  I 
only have a car because my oldest brother gave me his after he 
finally got a good job and now makes more money than Mom.  

        Anyway, Janie had money coming out her nose, and she made 
sure everyone knew it.  I'm surprised neither of us stabbed the 
other in the night.  I was so angry all the time I had a hard time 
making friends.  This was when I learned of my faerie nature, after 
some poor mugger tried to mug me late at night.  I transformed 
and broke both his arms and one leg.  I still don't know what he 
told the cops after I tossed him through the front window of the 
campus police station.  

        I spent three days hiding after that, because I didn't know 
how to turn back to normal.  Finally, a faerie named 'Lostraven' 
found me, a cheery little pixie who taught me about my faerie 
heritage.  I was rather pissed off I'd been sent off into this rather 
cruel world while some random kid was taken off to be raised in 
happy-go-lucky land while I suffered in her place.  I nearly beat 
the hell out of her when I met her.  They named her Helen.  I can't 
stand her, because every time I look at her, I see what I could have 
been, but wasn't, because she got the kind, loving parents, and I got 
beaten and yelled at.  Not that Mom and Dad didn't love me too, but 
my whole family is majorly fucked up, and I'm not sure if any of us 
would be allowed to roam around loose in a less screwed up world.  
Mom and Dad were the nicest parents in the world sometimes, and 
sometimes they would scream and hit us and hit each other and 
break things.  They'd have a knockdown brawl, then kiss and make 
up and take us all out for ice cream.  Then we'd go short on money 
because of that, and there'd be another brawl.  I can't watch Ranma 
1/2, even though Angel loves it, because Ranma and Akane remind 
me too much of my parents.  I keep imagining them at forty, still 
having stupid arguments and getting smacked around.

        Still, even I can't stay hacked off forever.  Spending time with 
Angel at Christmas calmed me down some, and then on the first 
day of the second semester of my freshman year, I met Linda.

         Linda reminds me of Tanya in some ways.  They're both wild 
free spirits, who do what they want and let the world go bugger 
itself if it doesn't like it.  She was tall, taller than me, which isn't 
common, and skinny as all get out, like she should have been five 
foot five, but someone stretched her like Plastic Man.  She looked 
like a hippie with love beads and tye-dyed shirts and even listened 
to the right kind of music.  She was in my Introduction to 
Philosophy class, which I took to get rid of a core humanities 
requirement.  Linda was a philosophy major, and she was brilliant.  
Even if half her brain was removed, she'd still run rings around 
most people in an argument.  She flummoxed the professor twice.  

         After class, she came over to me and said hi.  We ended up 
eating lunch together and became good friends.  Then I started 
falling in love with her, which terrified me more than you can 
probably comprehend.  I wasn't a raging homophobe, but the idea 
that I myself could fall in love with a girl terrified me beyond 
belief.

        I'm still not sure if she was trying to seduce me from the start, 
or if it just kinda eased to that.  I was drawn into her circle of 
friends, a bunch of Art, English, and Philosophy majors.  About half 
of them were gay or lesbian, and the other half usually couldn't get 
a date to save their lives, except with each other.  For whatever 
reason, it was only the straight ones who were so socially inept...the 
others had reasonably normal social lives and most of them had 
some kind of steady person, usually outside our little clique.  
Actually, it was a goodly sized clique of about fifteen or so people.  

         I myself was a business major.  I was determined I'd never 
be poor again.  This got me in for all kinds of ribbing and 
arguments, but it was friendly ribbing, and sometimes I even won 
the arguments.  We had some wild parties, and sometimes people 
would pair off after them.  

           That was how I ended up sleeping with Linda for the first 
time.  I was soused out of my mind, and I was trying to get her and 
Danny into bed with me.  Never mind that Danny was dating 
someone else and I didn't even normally find him attractive, I was 
feeling horny as hell, and I get rather...forward when I'm drunk.

          Danny would have gone for it since he was hammered too, 
but Linda dragged me off to her apartment.  She was a sophomore 
and lived off campus.  I woke up with her sleeping on the couch, 
and me on the bed.  I'd been kinda aware for a while that she was 
interested in me, and I could hardly believe she hadn't taken the 
opportunity, so I woke her up and asked her.

          She told me that no matter how much she wanted it, she 
wouldn't take advantage of someone like that.  If and when we 
finally did it, she wanted me to be sober and choosing it in my right 
mind.  Then she started making breakfast.

          I cried for a half hour.  I'd slept with guys under those 
conditions, although only one of them was someone I wasn't 
already dating.  I almost expected it.  

          I nearly ran away.  I couldn't believe anyone so good could 
like me.  It doesn't impress me so much now, but at the time, 
except for Angel, hardly anyone in my life had ever had much 
consideration for my feelings or not taken the chance to get me into 
the sack if they could.  

         Linda did her best to comfort me, but I don't think she ever 
quite understood why I was crying.  We ate breakfast, and then I 
made my choice.

         It was the best lovemaking I'd ever had in my life.  I couldn't 
believe it.  Usually, I was exhausted at best afterwards, and this 
was only the second time I'd had a real orgasm during sex.  
Instead, I felt full of life and joy.  I could hardly believe that, 
either.

         Linda was both good and bad for me.  She was good in that 
she was the first of my lovers who REALLY loved me.  Even though 
how it ended made me very bitter and was rather pathetic on her 
part, I think, while it lasted, and that was a year, it was real love.  
As real a love as I'd ever known.  

        I didn't have the guts to tell my parents, but the whole 
campus knew, or could know if they wanted to.  Linda was a rather 
militant lesbian, so I became one too.  Moreso, really.  Linda looked 
like anyone else...well, anyone else who was half living in the 
sixties.  I became a parody of a lesbian, really.  I wouldn't listen to 
any music made by men.  I stomped around in combat boots and a 
camouflage outfit and took great pride in stomping on the pride of 
the few men crazy enough to try to ask me out.  I made out with 
Linda on the roof of one of the buildings on the Quad in the middle 
of the night.  Linda egged me on at first, but she wasn't whacko, 
and after a while, she pulled in the reins a bit before I could end up 
alienating the entire population of the Earth, including most other 
lesbians.  

         The other thing that calmed me down was that I went home 
for the summer, and suddenly realized I couldn't bring myself to 
tell Angel I was gay and had been seeing a woman since mid-
March.  The subject had just sort of not come up before, and I 
wanted to tell her, but I couldn't do it.  I was terrified that she 
wouldn't like me anymore.  It may seem unbelievable that I could 
stand up in the middle of a basketball game and shout 'MEN SUCK!', 
but I couldn't tell my best friend about my love, but I didn't care 
what those monkeys thought.  Angel's good opinion, on the other 
hand, mattered to me and still matters.  

        So I wimped out.  I talked about Linda, but she was just a 
friend in the stories I told.  Just being around Angel was good for 
me, though.  I calmed down a lot, and a lot of my excesses kinda 
faded away.  We had a ton of fun, and I went back to school, ready 
to face the world.

         Naturally, Linda and I had our first fight.  We hadn't been in 
touch much over the summer.  She had gone home to New Mexico, 
and it was too far to drive, and neither of us could afford many 
calls.  So when we finally saw each other again, we had a long talk 
about her summers, and I confessed I hadn't been able to bring 
myself to tell Angel.

         She got pissed, and I can't blame her.  She'd told her friends 
and family about me.  Her parents were old hippies themselves, 
and they approved totally.  I, on the other hand, hadn't told anyone 
who didn't already know.

         We got back together after a week, but it made me afraid to 
tell her the other thing I'd been hiding.  Namely, that I was a faerie.  
Lostraven and other faeries had impressed on me the importance 
of hiding that I was a faerie.  I didn't hang out with other faeries 
much, and it was easy for me to hide it, especially with my temper 
under control.

         I got more and more sick of hiding it.  I still hadn't told Angel 
anything either, but I was going to come clean with at least one 
person, I decided.  So, on our first anniversary, I told her.

         She was horrified.  Utterly shocked and repulsed.  She fainted 
at first, then screamed when I showed her again.  I couldn't believe 
it.  My heart was ashes.  She ran away and hid.  I ran off into the 
night, crying.  

         We had another meeting, and she broke off our relationship.  
No one else could understand what had happened, and our friends 
kept trying to get us back together, but it never worked out.  I 
called Angel on the phone and cried incoherently for two hours one 
night.  I went down that weekend and got in a fight at a diner on 
the way there.  I can't even remember why.  I nearly scared Harry 
to death that weekend, and I actually hit Thomas.  

        I've known them both in a vague way since my freshman 
year.  All I really knew was that they were guy friends of Angel's, 
and I had the vague idea that Harry was a wimp and Thomas was a 
playboy.  I knew Tanya a little better, and envied her.  She was 
everything I wished I was, and wasn't, just like Helen.  A lot of 
female faeries are like that, I know now, though I didn't even know 
I was a faerie the first time I met Tanya and Thomas and Harry.

        I got to know them a little better, and even started to like 
them a bit, although unfortunately, I was sinking deeper into 'Death 
to all Men' at the same time.  Still, I hardly knew them at all.  I 
went to visit Angel, not them.  

        It was on that visit that I realized how I felt about Angel.  I'd 
had some sexual thoughts about her during the previous summer, 
but my heart had been given away at that time.  As we spent time 
together, I realized that I'd been in love with Angel for a long time.  
It had just never had any kind of sexual component before.  I don't 
know why, which is part of why I'm not sure what to make of 
myself.  I don't know if my sexual orientation changed when I first 
awakened to my faerie self, or if Linda somehow changed my 
orientation, or if I'd just been suppressing any physical desire for 
Angel or what.  

        For a while, I thought I understood.  I decided I must have 
just been gay all along, and I'd just suppressed it because of the 
way I'd been raised.  I'd dated those guys because I was desperate 
for affection, and it was no wonder most of those relationships had 
turned out so badly.  When I beat the hell out of Jimmy, I'd started 
crossing the bridge to my true self.

       Then, at the beach with Angel during the summer, I saw one of 
the most handsome men I've ever seen in my entire life.  He was a 
lifeguard, and he pretty much fit my image of the dream male from 
high school.  I felt a surge of desire and nearly gave myself a heart 
attack.  I know that sounds weird, but it wrecked my self-image 
again.  I know that's kinda pathetic, but I never claimed to be 
inspirational.  

        So, when I went to see Angel for the first time this semester, I 
wasn't sure what to make of myself.  I hadn't had a real crush on a 
guy since high school, but I was starting to see some of them as 
desirable again.  At the same time, women turned me on too, and 
most importantly, I loved Angel and didn't know what to do about 
it.  

         For one thing, she had a boyfriend.  Harry Crags.  Which made 
me jealous as hell.  He came up twice during the Summer, and I 
hardly saw her those two weekends, except for when we played 
RPGs together.  I was being utterly ridiculous, but it ground my 
gears.  I was harder on him than usual, but only when she wasn't 
watching.  It was probably the worst I've ever behaved in my life.

        I had decided I would dig up the dirt on him that had to exist.  
I knew how all my boyfriends had been--some of them had enough 
dirty laundry to spend a solid month just washing it.  I'd get rid of 
him, and then I'd get up the guts to move in on Angel.  I had 
hope...after all, I'd never thought I'd love a girl, and I'd dated more 
guys than she ever had.  

         There was only one problem.  There wasn't any dirt.  Oh, he 
wasn't perfect, but he loved her.  And that hurt worse than if he 
had been a rat bastard.  Because it meant I couldn't win. That 
sounds petty...it is petty.  I thought he'd rub it in. Kick me when I 
was down.  But he didn't.  He sympathized with me.  He'd had the 
same problem--of someone he loved being out of his reach while 
they gave their heart away to someone else.  I could hardly believe 
it.

          That was the start of a change in me.  The real nail in the 
coffin, however, was after Angel was kidnapped by Splinter.  I 
didn't realize I was running into the Mists of Creation, or I might 
not have screwed up.  Every nightmare and fear I had was coming 
out to play as I chased Splinter, as I remembered every bad thing 
that had happened to me in my life and worried they would 
happen to her.  

         I got caught in one of them.  A memory of what my goddamn 
uncle did to me when I was nine.  I was little, and desperate, and 
helpless again.  Part of me was nine again and experiencing it all 
while the rest just screamed desperately, knowing what was 
coming.

         Then Harry showed up.  He looked utterly horrified and 
repulsed by what was going on.  He managed to shock me out of my 
fear, convince me I could stop it.  I couldn't act to save myself, but 
I could act to save Angel.  She was in the memory as well.  

          Beating the hell out of my uncle felt very, very good.  His 
memory wouldn't haunt me again.  It wasn't until afterwards, when 
we found me some clothing since I was now mostly naked, that I 
realized that Harry had gone out of his way to help me.  He had no 
reason to really like me or help me except that I was Angel's 
friend.  Well, we had agreed to reconcile ourselves, but we had a 
long history of bickering behind us.  I think I probably would have 
left him at the time, if he had been trapped, and focused on finding 
Angel.  

         It was at that moment that I first looked at him and 
understood how Angel could love him.  Something bloomed in my 
heart, something that had been poisoned and maimed.  It took me a 
while to realize I was falling for Harry.  It pissed me off, and 
excited me at the same time.

        I was mad because I felt like I was falling for him just 
because he'd done a good deed and helped me.  That was no good 
reason to fall in love.  It also made me mad because it was as futile 
as my love for Angel.  

         Yet, it also made me happy for two reasons.  One was that it 
let me finally get a firmer grip on what I am, although I'm still not 
sure.  I like men and women.  It was reassuring, in an odd way, to 
finally have a sense of stable sexuality, to not wonder if tomorrow I 
was going to start liking only Lithuanians or something.  And the 
other thing was that it gave me a renewed hope for the future.  

         Okay, I know it'll sound weird, and probably it will never 
happen, but my dream is to date both of them.  We're all faeries, so 
I do have a lot of time to work on this.  Of course, I have no clue if 
Harry could ever love me, or if Angel could ever love a girl, let 
along me, but I'll cross those bridges as I come to them.  I could 
love both of them, and that was the important thing.  

         Anyway, I'm rather meandering from the narrative line, so 
back to the present.  I picked out some clothing by the time Leslie 
got out of the shower, which was pretty quick.  Unlike Angel, who 
loves to make hot water heaters run out, Leslie takes quick 
showers.  She dug around for some clean clothes, then noticed mine.  
"You're wearing a dress?  Again?  You ARE sweet on someone."

        I laughed nervously.  "I just feel like being pretty."

        "I thought you burned all those things a while back.  You 
gonna start seeing guys again, too?"  She grinned.  Leslie likes to 
tease people, but her idea of teasing sometimes doesn't make too 
much sense to other people.  

         "So you'd mind if I brought a guy home and made out with 
him on the bed while you were trying to sleep?"  I teased back, 
heading for the bathroom.

         "Maybe it's the evil radiation that the business school gives 
off."  Leslie said.  She's a women's studies and biology major.  How 
she plans to combine those, I'm not sure.  

         "Ahh, so your taste in women is the result of you 
experimenting on yourself in class?"  I said, then shut the door 
before she could throw my alarm clock at me.  Actually, she has 
very good taste in women...I've been surprised by the people who 
have gone out with her.  

          I took a shower, and things got boring for a while, so I'll let 
Irene take over.

*************

Irene said:

          I woke up alone, which isn't usual for me.  At least not the  
last few years, that is.  However, the problem with seeing an ogre is 
that if you have a fight, it tends to be rather violent with long 
lasting effects.  Not that Bluefist attacked me, but I dimly 
remembered something about us both swearing to never even look 
at each other's shadows again.  We'll both get over it in a few days, 
or if not, we'll find someone else.  Such is the way of the fae.  Not 
that I'm one, mind you.  My name is Irene.  Irene of house 
Silverwind.  Or technically, Irene Cromwell.

        I'm a mortal, a changeling, born in the mortal world, but 
raised in the faerie world.  A kidnapping, of course.  I probably 
should be angry, but I think I got the better half of the deal.  
Trying to describe a childhood in Arcadia is almost impossible...I 
could yak at you for months about how wonderful it was.  Not 
perfect, due to one big problem, but still wonderful.  

        The one problem with being a mortal in Arcadia is that people 
are afraid of you, which always seems weird to me.  I'm a decent 
mage, but many faeries could squash me flat in seconds if they had 
to.  It's not as bad now.  Faeries stop believing that evil mortals live 
under their bed and want to eat them when they get older.  The 
problem, basically, is that if I'm around, they get forced to reincarnate
if they die, which tends to put a crimp in one's plans.  Most 
faeries are pretty reckless in part because they won't stay dead.  
Set a faerie on fire and hurl him off the roof, and he'll just wake up 
in the land of the fallen.  At worst, he'll reincarnate and go through 
a mortal life.  But if mortals are present, you have to start all over in
the game of life, so to speak.

         As I watched the sun come up, I decided it was a good day to 
seduce someone.  I hadn't really cut loose in a while, and I was in 
the mood.  The problem, however, was who.  They had to be a 
challenge, but not impossible.  I don't like banging my head on 
walls.  

        My brain ran through a list of possibilities.  By the time I 
finished my morning bath and got dressed, I'd weeded out all the 
ones who would be too easy or cause Mother to lock me in the 
tower for a month again.  That was a mess, especially when he 
rescued me and Mother sent a small army after us.  Now that was 
an adventure.  Still, Mother did get her point across.  She's good at 
that.  

         Daddy's a rather quiet cat phooka, by the way.  You haven't 
seen him before because he's usually either running our estates or 
off hunting.  His name is Arion, although everyone usually calls him 
Sir Silverwind or Lord Silverwind or Countess Silverwind's consort.  
I just call him Daddy when Mother isn't listening.  She can be a bit 
formal at times, and so am I...when Mother is watching.  I don't 
want to disappoint her, but formality bores me to death.  

        Having whittled down the list one way, I then spent breakfast 
pretending to listen to my parents and the castellan talk politics 
while I tried to remember who was seeing who, and who was 
available.  Then a thought struck me.  There was someone new I 
could add to my list, and since she was a countess, as highly placed 
as my mother, no objection could be made to her.  The Countess 
Wildbriar, Aquamarine and Titania's friend.  I grinned.  

        It would drive Mother crazy.  She wasn't too fond of all the 
ogres I kept dating, and she especially didn't like nouveau riche, 
especially when it was such a blatant case of someone being 
ennobled because they had connections.  I found it vastly amusing.  
Also importantly, she wasn't taken and wasn't even pursuing 
anyone as far as I knew.  While I have been in some risque 
situations, I prefer to pursue those who have no current 
attachments.  

         "So what will you be doing today?"  Mother asked.

        "I'm going out into the countryside to perform some 
experiments,"  I replied.  My affinities are weather and imitation.  
Working on my weather magic is usually best done out in the 
countryside; mother tends to get aggravated if it rains for five days 
straight.  Imitation isn't just voice-mimicry; it's the affinity of 
dopplegangers and fetches.  I can become anyone to a nearly 
indistinguishable degree.  The only real limit is that I don't gain 
their skills and knowledge, except for physical skills that have 
reached the reflex level.  Thus, I can imitate a skilled swordsman 
and hack people up, but not a master craftsman very well.  

         She nodded.  "Good to see you pursuing your studies.  Try to 
be back by Sunday; your father is going to start the yearly rounds 
and he needs you with him."  Never mind that Father was right 
there and could have told me himself.  Mother is a bit...she's the 
sort of person who tells you to do something, then stands over you 
and tells you how to do it.  In detail.  Sometimes it doesn't surprise 
me that Aquamarine doesn't come around much.  Still, with all her 
flaws, I love my mother, and I'm glad she raised me.

         I often wonder what my birth mother is like; Aquamarine's 
told me about her, but stories aren't the same as real experience.  
I'm hoping to go with Aquamarine over Christmas to see her.  It 
scares me a little.  I don't know what's she expecting; I don't know 
what I'm expecting.  

        Anyway, once I finished breakfast, I changed into some nice 
green forest garb instead of my usual dresses.  I'm not too fond of 
dressing like a boy, but dresses and forests don't mix as I've found 
out through some disastrous experiences.  Then I sat down and 
spent half an hour using some travel magic to plot my best course 
to this San Angelo place that I knew Wildbriar lived in.  I've 
studied a wide range of magic beyond my affinities, unlike most 
faeries, who are too lazy to do so.  One benefit of being mortal is a 
longer attention span.  It's slower and not as reliable as my 
affinities, but I can do dozens of spells, and I'm the most flexible 
mage I know who is less than a hundred years old.  

         Getting my favorite horse, a dun mare named Sanddune, I 
headed out into the forest, following the tiny glowing arrow that 
would show me the way.

************

Alex said:

        Monday morning means the great force for evil known as Poli 
Sci 101 will once again smite me down.  Don't let Dr. Scolas know I 
said that.  She's this cranky old woman who hasn't smiled since the 
Jackson administration, I think.  

        Actually, she's not really THAT old.  She's in her early sixties, 
a burnt out cynical ex-hippie.  She seems to waffle between her 
liberal roots and conservative pessimism at least three times a day.  
And she hates my guts.  I don't know why.  Okay, I do know why.  
She was complaining about affirmative action, and I told her she 
was  a self-centered bitch.  Then I launched into a long rant about 
how her whole generation had sold out and was currently in the 
process of running the country into the ground while blaming the 
young for all their problems, just like their parents had.  This 
probably wasn't a very smart thing to do.  Naturally, this happened 
AFTER it was too late to drop the class.  

        As usual, class was hell.  I drew a little doodle of me picking 
up her car and throwing it off the top of some tall building.  Then I 
drew Godzilla stomping on our classroom building.  I can't draw 
well, but I'm good at amusing myself.  Meanwhile, Dr. Scolas ranted 
on about how the judiciary was exceeding its authority and 
reinterpreting the law to suit itself.  That's an issue I don't really 
have an opinion on, although my gut instinct is that if Dr. Scolas 
says it, it must be wrong.

        Finally, the most boring pointless hour in the week except for 
the same time on Wednesdays and Fridays was over, and I was 
free to conquer the Earth.  Well, to go to my next class, anyway.  

         I also have Accounting in the morning.  Most of my business 
classes are really cool, but even the business majors go to sleep 
during this one.  It's not the teacher's fault.  You couldn't get much 
more enthusiastic and cheerful than Dr. Hanson without turning 
into a smurf.  It's just that not even God could make Accounting 
fun.  Even if you had an orgasm every five minutes, it still wouldn't 
be worth it.  I just grit my teeth and do my best.  

         Dr. Hanson was looking at me funny all through class, which I 
couldn't figure out, until I realized it was the dress.  Most of my 
fellow business majors dress to impress.  I should, but I'd rather 
dress to impress myself.  Especially during my militant period, I 
tended to stand out like a sore thumb.  That and the fact that I'm so 
far to the left of them that if they weren't almost all way to the 
right, I'd be more left wing than Marx.  I've got several business 
major buddies who I hang out with sometimes and study with, but 
we learned to never talk politics because it always turned into a 
verbal knife fight with lightsabres.  

        One of them is Bill Gray, who bravely volunteered to take this 
Accounting class with me.  We went to lunch together afterwards.  
Bill is about five foot eight, with black hair in a crew cut and a suit 
that seems to have been surgically attached to his body.  He doesn't 
wear a suit on the weekend, but he almost always wears very 
formal clothing unless he's going to be playing sports.  Or to tennis 
class.  We're both in Tennis too, which is how I learned he doesn't 
always wear fairly formal clothing constantly.  

        Like most of my business friends, he's pretty conservative.  
Unlike many of them, he's also rather deeply religious.  A lot of 
them are somewhat religious, but they just...I can tell he takes it 
VERY seriously.   Southern Baptist, church twice a week, bible 
study, doesn't drink, doesn't chase women.  He does date, but it's 
pretty sedate dating as far as I can tell.  He had a steady girlfriend 
all of last year, but apparently she transferred.  He's a good-
natured guy, and I like him.  Even though I disagree with him on a 
lot of religious issues, I respect him for having strong opinions and 
not being afraid to stand up for them, because I'm pretty 
opinionated myself.  Also importantly, he knows what he's talking 
about.  We have debates every once in a while, and he's the only 
person I know who can do that without getting ridiculously 
defensive after a while.

         "You think we're gonna win this Friday?"  I asked.  We're up 
against Stephen F. Austin, another dinky nowhere state school.  The 
game, of course, is football.  Like all good Texans, I live and die by 
football.  

         "Yeah.  Sam Houston's going to crush us in two weeks, but 
since that'll be an away game, at least we won't have to suffer 
though it."  He was staring at my shoulder as he munched on his 
sandwich.  Bill eats the same lunch every day.  A roast beef 
sandwich with wheat bread, mayonnaise, lettuce, and tomato, along 
with a bag of either corn or potato chips, and a RC cola.  I had never 
seen anyone who actually DRANK RC cola in my life before I met 
Bill.  Only once have I ever seen him deviate from this, and that 
was after we both bombed a Finance test last year.  He ate seven 
slices of pizza, threw up, then ate four more.  He actually drank 
Pepsi too.  I thought he must have been possessed.  

         Anyway, after a while, I noticed he was looking at my 
shoulder, and I suddenly realized I'd put my Rice Owl pin on the 
shoulder of this dress the last time I wore it.  Which was a year and 
a half ago, I then realized.  I had wanted to go to Rice when I was 
in high school.  So did Angel, but I couldn't get in, and she couldn't 
get a scholarship, which meant she couldn't afford it.  We'd both 
worn these pins all the time in high school.  I said, "Rice Owl pin."

         "You're a Rice fan?"  he asked.  "Their football team is even 
worse than ours."

         I laughed.  "I wanted to go there when I was in high school."

        "So what's the occasion?  This is the third dress in a month.  I 
think that's a new record."  He grinned at me.  "Got someone special 
on your mind?  Some lucky guy?"  

         Bill's usually so predictable I could set my clock by him, but 
for once he surprised me.  Bill knows I like women, and he doesn't 
know I've started liking guys again.  Or if he does know, he's a 
mindreader.  I think he was actually trying to tease me, which 
surprised me.  He doesn't approve of lesbians or gays, but at the 
same time, he's not willing to argue about it.  He doesn't like it, but 
he's not the persecuting kind.  Maybe he's changing, I thought.  
He'd never have been able to make a joke about it before.  In fact, 
he'd gotten somewhat more accepting over the years I'd known 
him.  Witness that we were eating lunch together and chatting in a 
friendly manner.  

         I decided to tease him back.  "Could be.  Maybe it's you."  I 
smiled at him in what I hoped was a seductive manner.  It was so 
long since I'd really flirted with a guy, that I could barely 
remember what to do.  It's not like riding a bicycle, I guess.  

          That was the day I learned what the expression 'jump out of 
your skin' means.  Bill would have done that if he could.  I'd never 
seen him so spooked.  "I...you...but I thought...you liked girls..."  He 
was shaking a bit, and he knocked down his RC cola.  

         I enjoyed watching Bill panic a little too much, so I got up and 
leaned across the table and picked his can up right at the same 
time as he reached for it, so our hands touched.  I grinned at him, 
then sat down.  "I'm an equal opportunity employer, Bill.  In more 
ways than one."  

         Bill tried to finish off what was left of his soda and spilled 
some of it on himself, then flailed about trying to dry himself off.  
Bill is not normally this much of a spaz, and I was starting to worry.  
I dug a handkerchief out of my belt pouch and helped dry him off.  
"Geez, didn't mean to give you a heart attack, Bill."

         "I just...I've been trying to...I mean...uh..."  Bill finally got dry, 
then shut up and just ate his sandwich.

         I started in on my lunch, which was a small cup of soup and a 
ham sandwich.  "I haven't dated a guy in two and a half years, but 
I do find them attractive.  Even you."

        He blushed.

        "Sorry.  You're pretty cute, actually.  I just haven't met a guy 
who interests me who is also interested in me.  That I know about, 
anyway.  For a while I thought I'd never love a guy again, but I got 
over that."  I finished off my soup pretty quickly.  I wish they 
served larger cups of it.

        "So it was like...a phase?"

         "Oh, I still like women."  He jumped at that, and I grinned just 
a little.  "But the right guy could win my heart now too.  Not too 
many guys throwing themselves at me, though."  The sandwich was 
pretty good, although watching Bill jump was more enjoyable than 
it was.  I shouldn't tease him, but he was acting so funny, I couldn't 
stop.

        "Well...I think most guys who know you kinda thought...you 
weren't interested."  Bill finished off his sandwich and went and got 
another RC cola.

          When he got back, I said, "Well, they'd be wrong.  But only 
you know.  Wanna be my social calendar arranger?  I'll cut you in 
for twenty percent."

         He laughed and the conversation veered off onto various silly 
tangents.  

**************

Irene said:

        After several near-death experiences, I resolved to finally get 
Aquamarine to teach me how to drive a car.  Sanddune is nimble 
and fast as any car, but I now know there's a great dearth of places 
to leave your horse in the modern world, and a great many drivers 
who freak out at the sight of one.

         I finally had to leave her eating grass while I headed onto the 
campus to search for Wildbriar, or Alex as they call her here.  I 
hadn't realized there were quite so many students, although I 
SHOULD have realized my clothing would look strange.  A little 
magic and I was dressed in a T-shirt and jeans like the others, and 
a light jacket.  I had mimicked the garb of another; I'm still not 
sure what a 'Weird Al Yankovic' or 'Alapolooza' is.  From the 
picture, I'd guess it's some kind of odd looking dinosaur.  

        The campus was mind-numbingly ugly, although the locals 
didn't seem to think so.  I have higher standards than the average 
mortal, though, so this didn't surprise me.  Asking around, I found 
out there was such a thing as a 'student directory', although no one 
knew where to find one.  It was close to five by the time I found 
one, and even later when I found a phone.  Finally, I got through to 
her.  Or more precisely, to someone.  "Hello?  Is Wil...Alex there?"  I 
asked.

        "Yo, this is Leslie.  I think she's in the can.  Hold on," the 
woman said with a slightly nasal voice.  "YO!  ALEX?  YOU ALIVE?" 
she shouted.

         I dimly heard a muffled voice.  "She'll be right here,"  Leslie 
said.  "Should I be recognizing your voice, or is it okay if I'm 
clueless?"

         I laughed.  "It's Irene.  Irene...Cromwell."  It was a little eerie 
to use that last name instead of Irene of House Silverwind.  

        "Heh.  Your dad named Oliver by any chance?"

        I blinked.  "M...Mom's named Olivia."

         Leslie laughed like a mad monkey.  "Alex is coming."  Her 
voice was fainter after that.  She was talking to Alex, not me, and I 
just overheard it.  "Oh, Aaaaaalllleeeexxxx....It's Irene.  Your new 
woman, I bet?  Do I get thirty bucks if I'm right?"

        I heard fumbling noises, and Alex said, "I'm sorry, play again 
tomorrow.  You do get this complementary bop on the head for 
playing, however."  Pause.  "Hello?"

         "Hi, Alex.  This is Irene, Tanya's sister.  You doing anything 
tonight?"

         "I gotta study for Information Science with Bill and Janet and 
Melvin at ten.  I'm free until then.  I was about to go down to the 
cafeteria and eat whatever they intend to slop the hogs with 
tonight,"  Alex said.

          "I'll take you somewhere nice if you don't mind riding a 
horse,"  I offered.  "My treat."

         I could hear her blink.  Okay, maybe not, but she had the 
silence that comes of surprise.  "Sure."  

         I grinned.  The game begins.  Now I just have to find 
somewhere to eat.  "Tell me how to find where you are, and I'll be 
right there."

**********

Alex said:

        Leslie said, "Ready to go stuff our faces?"  

        "I'm going out to eat with Irene."  I got out my Information 
Science notes while I waited.  Time to squeeze in a little studying.

         Leslie loomed over me.  "Could this be....a date?"

         I shook my head.  "Just a friend."

         "Who I've never heard of before?  Who can afford to take 
you, the human vortex, out to eat?"  Leslie grinned.  "Almost all 
your straight friends are guys, anyway."

          "Irene is straight."  Maybe, I thought.  Actually, I didn't 
know, although I had seen her pretty much flirting with men the 
few times we'd met.  Although she might have been flirting with 
me during that card game.  It was hard to be sure.  

          "Uh huh.  Just like you.  Well, now I know why you've been 
dressing up.  So she likes that style?"  Leslie grinned.  I couldn't be 
sure if she was serious in a silly way, or just silly.  

      "Yeah, yeah, whatever.  We're going to make out all night long 
and make you watch.  You satisfied?"

      She started heading for the door.  "Only if you shave each 
other's head too.  I'm gonna go get food before I starve to death.  
Have fun on your date."

       "It's NOT A DATE!"  I shouted as she walked out the door, 
laughing.  It's not.  Although why Irene had dropped in, I had no 
clue.  She's okay as Sidhe go, then I remembered she wasn't a 
sidhe.  She was a mortal.  A changeling.  Like Helena.  Feh.  Helena 
blah.  

         I went and spat to get the bad taste out of my mouth, then 
sighed.  I shouldn't be so hard on her.  She's a good person, better 
than me.  How Mom ever gave birth to Helena, I can't understand.  
I don't believe genetics has any influence on most kinds of 
behavior, because there's simply NO way my parents could have 
produced such an utter goody-goody.  Helena could star in a 
Strawberry Shortcake remake if she had red hair.  She could do 
Smurfette, except that Smurfette had once been evil.  Maybe that 
was it...they used a magic whammy on her.  

         Enough whining.  I worked on Information Science, which is 
basically a class about business applications of computers, 
especially clever ways to use databases and other information 
storage methods.  It's a good class, although it would be better if 
Professor Jaravitar didn't always sound like he was gargling.  I had 
a big test on Thursday.  

        Irene showed up in a T-shirt and jeans, which surprised me, 
then saw what I was wearing and turned it into a richly made silk 
blue dress with a deeply plunging neckline in front, ringed with 
green lace trim.  It had huge poufy short sleeves gathered a little 
above the elbow.  It looked magnificent.  I used to have a fashion 
sense like that, but I traded it in for all my skill points in feminist 
theory, I think.  Not that my dress was bad, but it wasn't on that 
level.  Irene has a very nice figure, and it suited it well.  I would 
have drooled a bit, but that wouldn't have been polite.  "You'll have 
to guide me.  I don't know my way around here."

         I nodded.  We headed downstairs, and I soon found out she 
wasn't kidding about the horse.  Luckily, faerie horses are strong, 
and Sanddune was able to carry both of us.  I'm sure we looked 
entertaining  as we rode through traffic.  "So what brings you to the 
official middle of nowhere?"  I asked.

         "I've decided to seduce you and this seemed like a good 
start," she said, grinning.

        I laughed.  "Tell me another one."  

        "So where are we going, Countess Wildbriar?"

        I laughed again.  Countess.  Me a countess.  It's kinda cool.  
"Better call me Alex in public, Irene."

        "Okay, Alex, where are we going?"

         Bennigans is a pretty great place.  Who Bennigan was, I don't 
know, but his restaurant is cool.  Normally, I only eat there to 
celebrate something big, but Irene was paying, and I never pass up 
a free good meal.  

        We got a table in the back, and spent a while making our 
orders and chatting idly.  Finally, we were alone with our sodas, 
waiting for the food to arrive.  "Seriously, what brings you out 
here?"  I asked.

        She cocked her head and smiled at me.  "You're not dating 
anyone, are you?"

        I blinked.  "Um, no."

        Grinning, she said, "Good.  I'm here to seduce you."

        Even guys who get drunk and hit on me at parties usually 
aren't that direct.  It was kinda refreshing.  However, I had other 
plans.  "Do you try that on everyone?"  I said in a cheery manner.  

        "I'm not sure of the best method, so I thought I'd try honesty."  
she smiled, though not quite so widely as before.  "I don't see you 
much in my social circles, though I suppose that will change, so I 
decided to seek you out and see what you're like.  And seduce you 
while I'm at it."  She sat back and stretched, thrusting her chest 
forward in a manner intended to make people stare at her breasts.  
It worked.  

       "Umm...I've already got someone else on my mind."  If she'd 
tried this a few weeks ago, I probably would have gone for it.  

       Idly, she twirled a lock of her long blonde hair around her 
finger.  Her sister, Tanya, had the same mannerism.  It was kinda 
spooky.  "Really?  Well, I'm sure I can chase them out of your 
mind."  she sounded quite confident, and I began to wonder if she'd 
done this before.  

        "I've been in love with one of them since I was about five,"  I 
said.  Better to cut to the chase, I decided.  

         Her eyes widened for a moment, then she smiled a luxurious 
cat-like smile.  It scared me.  "ONE of them?  Tell me more."

         Sometimes I wish I was mute.  I bet I could keep my hands 
more under control than my mouth.  "Swear you won't tell a soul."  
With a faerie, oaths are binding as any natural law.  It doesn't work 
so well on mortals, but I hoped she was as honorable as her sister.

        "I swear I will tell no one the secrets you are about to confide 
in me without your consent or unless it is necessary to save your 
life."  Her voice was serious, now.

        I gulped.  "Well, you see, I...uh...err..."  A massive tidal wave of 
embarrassment rushed over me.  

        The delivery of the food gave me a short reprieve.  Ahh, the 
glories of steak.  I was in heaven.

        Irene started in on her pork chops.  "So, one of them must be 
Lady Titania.  I know you two have been close since you were little.  
But who is the other one?"  She looked at me curiously.  "Not my 
sister, I hope.  I would be quite crushed to be beaten out by her."

       I laughed so hard I nearly stabbed my hand.  "Not Tanya.  Not 
anytime soon."

       She thought for a moment.  "Then it must be Sir Strongheart.  
An interesting choice.  Not many dark skinned Sidhe.  It gives him 
a certain exotic air.  Yes, I can see some of what you must find 
attractive in him."  We ate in silence for a few minutes, then she 
said, "Well, then, I'll help you seduce them."

        One track mind, I thought.  "You're kidding, right?"

        "Well, if I can't have you, then I intend to make sure there's a 
good reason for it.  Clearly if you could seduce the Lady Titania on 
your own, you'd be in her bed by now.  Therefore, you need help, 
and I'm an expert.  All I ask as payment is a few paltry kisses.  You 
have no objection to that, do you?"  She looked up at me and 
smiled.  It wasn't the smile of someone who had given up.

       And yet...I could use the help.  Even though it sounded insane.  
"You're not going to use love magic on them, are you?"

       She laughed.  "Love magic is an anvil used where a mallet will 
do the trick.  And so crude.  True love must grow from true actions.  
No magic can take its place.  You will tell me everything you know 
about them, every little droplet of knowledge you have, and 
then...we shall make a plan of battle."

       "I...I don't even know if Angel likes...if she would...if she and I 
could..."  I couldn't quite come out and say it.

        "I can't understand how anyone could look on you and not 
wish to bed you at once.  Of course she finds you desirable.  No 
doubt she simply is too honest to cheat on her boyfriend.  But since 
we shall be getting both of them into your bed, that won't be a 
problem."  Her voice was confident as she continued to eat and 
sipped her wine.  

         "But...what about Harry...what if he..."

         "I know he's a bit shy, but the man isn't born who wouldn't 
want two lady loves if they got along well.  He probably fantasizes 
about you every night.  I would."  She paused to finish off her okra.  
"Hmm.  Interesting crunchy thing.  What is this?"

        "Okra."

        "Is it a plant?"

        "I think so."  I took a bite of my baked potato, chewed and 
swallowed, then asked, "You...you really think we can pull this off?"

         "I set up a successful date between an efreet and a naiad.  
They saw each other for five years, until he had an accident and 
drowned and developed a fear of water."  Irene grinned.  "An Ogre 
and two Sidhe...that's EASY."

         I wished I had her confidence.

************

Irene said:

        I hadn't given up, of course, but I can be subtle.  Still, I do 
have a soft spot for hapless lovers.  I would help her get together 
with her two loves...but I wouldn't be passing up any chances to 
make her mine along the way.  It gave me the perfect excuse to 
hang around her and put my charms to work.  

         It wasn't going to be easy, but I like uphill challenges.  For 
one thing, I had no more idea what Angela and Harry really felt 
than she did.  You don't start a trip by discouraging people from 
hoping they'll reach the destination, though.  

        The next step was for me to go try and find out.  First thing 
was to talk to Aquamarine, or Tanya as she goes by in the mortal 
world.  I borrowed a mirror from Alex and used it to transport 
myself to her.  I wasn't thinking clearly, or I would have left 
Sanddune behind.  I also would have called ahead.

         Naturally, she had three friends with her in the room.  They 
were studying for some history course.  American West, I think.  
And naturally, they freaked out.  I quickly sent Sanddune back to 
Castle Silverwind.  I'd put a mirror in her stall.  This isn't the first 
time this happened, though not in the mortal world.  

          Tanya and I finally managed to sort of convince them that 
nothing had really happened, with only a little magic to nudge 
them.  They all decided to go get some rest, then she kicked my 
butt.  I let her do it; I'd been stupid.  I don't always think things 
through clearly.  Tanya's the same way.  

        Finally, she said, "So what brought you here in such a hurry?"

        "I have to help Countess Wildbriar seduce someone."  I still 
wasn't thinking clearly, or I would have gone to someone else for 
help, although there weren't too many people who could help me.

        She blinked. "Say what?"

         My common sense kicked in, and I decided to take a less 
blatant approach.  "Seriously, I decided to come visit.  I'd like to 
know you and your friends better, and Mom was going to put me to 
work if I didn't run fast.  And...I'd like you to tell me more about 
our...Mrs. Cromwell."  It was all true, technically.  I'd already been 
honest about my main purpose.  If she didn't believe me...well, that 
was her business.

         "Call her Mom.  She did give birth to you, you know."  Tanya 
sat down on her bed.  I plopped down on the other one.

         "I know.  And I'm glad she did.  I just...It's hard to call 
someone I haven't met Mom."

        "She really wants to meet you.  Maybe we could go down this 
weekend and you could finally meet her."

        "I'd like that."  I laid down on the bed and hugged the big 
battered teddy bear that was lying on it.  "Nice bear."

        "He da man,"  Tanya said, laughing.  "Angel's first boyfriend."

        I laughed.  If we counted stuffed animals, I still had my first 
boyfriend, a cute little kitty cat made by Dad.  It looked halfway 
like a pig, but I loved it anyway.  Dollmaking is definitely NOT his 
affinity.  "And he can bear to sleep in the same bed with her and 
her boyfriend?  Truly, he has a noble heart."

        "He knows all her secrets too.  Good thing he doesn't do 
blackmail."

         I grinned.  Just what I needed.  A little magic, and he could 
tell me everything.  He was hovering on the verge of awakening 
anyway, I could tell.  Even mortals who know nothing of sorcery 
can put magic into things which are much loved.  It would take 
only a nudge.  I couldn't resist.  I gave him the nudge.  

           Tanya nearly jumped out of her flesh when Mr. Bear said, 
"Buenos Dias, Senoritas."

          I cackled and hugged him.  "HE LIVES!"

          Mr. Bear said, "Guten Tag?"

          "Try English."

         Tanya said, "Please tell me you're just doing magical 
ventriloquism."

         I shook my head.  "He would have awakened in a few months 
most likely, anyway.  Didn't this ever happen with any of your old 
stuffed friends?"

         Tanya laughed nervously.  "Well, Raggedy Ann does keep 
watch over the house...but you should have asked!"

        Mr. Bear said, "Hello?  Can you understand me?"

         I hugged him again.  He sounded just like my uncle the bear 
Phooka, Adam.  "Perfectly."

         He looked at the two of us, and tried to blink, but had no 
eyelids.  "Am I seeing double?"

         "She's the faerie, I'm her mortal twin."

         "Right."

          That's when Angela walked in.  "Hi, Tanya.  Weren't you 
going to have a study group tonight?"

         "Little miss meddler decided to bring a horse through the 
mirror.  If I'm lucky, they won't check into an insane asylum soon."  
Tanya sighed.  "And that wasn't all."

         Mr. Bear ran and jumped off the bed into Angel's arms.  "Good 
evening, Angie!"

         She fainted, of course.  I cackled, of course.  Tanya beat me in 
the head with a pillow, of course.  

         I dragged her up onto her bed, where she woke up.  "Did I fall 
down?  I thought I heard my stuffed bear talk."

         "You did,"  Mr. Bear said.

          Angie was made of stern enough stuff to not faint again.  
"This is new, right?"

         "Irene woke me up,"  Mr. Bear said, hugging Angie, who 
nervously hugged him back.  "Thanks, Mom," he said to me.

        I laughed.  I never would have expected my first child to be a 
stuffed bear.  "You're welcome.  Now tell your mother all of 
Angela's secrets."  I winked, and Tanya bopped me again.

        I didn't get any secrets, but I made plans to come back later 
and talk to my 'son'.

****************

Alex said:

       I was dancing around as if I'd just been on a date with 
Barishnokov.  Irene's confidence was infectious.  I could do this.  I 
would.  She had to be right.  She had no reason to tell me that if she 
didn't believe it.  

       Not being blind, Leslie percieved this when I got home.  Not 
being psychic, she read me wrong.  "Ohh, musta been a hot date.  
Did you make out in the bathroom?"

       I giggled.  "Naah, on the table."

       "Wow, even I'm not THAT bold.  At least not on a busy night.  
Was she good?"

        "Better than you."

        "Damn, she must be the Goddess in disguise, then.  Any chance 
you'd be willing to share?"

        "Not a prayer."

        She sighed.  "When's your next date?"

        "Don't know yet."  It was hard to sleep, I was so excited.  I 
dreamed about going to the beach with Angel and Harry.  It was a 
wonderful dream, although her stuffed bear tried to beat me up for 
taking her away from him.

        Another day, another alarm clock hurling, another shower, 
another set of classes.  I have three M day classes and two on T 
days.  Information Science and Gender and Labor in History on 
Tuesdays.  Information Science is at 8 AM, which is rather evil, 
even though I'm better at getting up in the morning than Angel or 
Leslie. I don't WANT to get up, but once I do, I'm okay.  My whole 
business buddy gang is in Information Science, and we all sit in the 
back and try to figure out what Dr. Jaravitar is saying.  He's 
brilliant, but he's only really comprehensible in writing, because he 
doesn't write with a thick accent, nor do you have to read it at 200 
miles an hour.  

        It's still a good class, though.  We had a test coming up on 
Thursday, so this was a review session, which helped.  Then I was 
off to my job.  I work at the library twenty hours a week.  Being a 
student librarian is one of the most aggravating jobs in the 
universe, but it pays okay, and more importantly, I somehow 
managed to talk the head librarian into getting me a staff parking 
permit, so I can park anywhere I bloody well want on campus, 
which is VERY nice.  Today I had the joy of shelving, which is truly 
tedious, but has one very nice aspect--no one asks you stupid 
questions.  

          Labor and Gender in History is a very cool class; it's for my 
women's studies minor.  Basically, it reexamines the history of 
labor in the light of various factors often left out, like the economic 
value of domestic labor, home production, and other important 
issues.  Most history classes bore me, but I really like this one 
because it's not just a bunch of kings hacking each other up with 
swords.  Not that I don't enjoy that sometimes, but I prefer to keep 
it in my fantasy novels where they can also throw fireballs at each 
other.  

         Dr. Samson teaches it.  She was the advisor I was assigned 
when I first got here; she's in the history department.  She helped 
take over her campus when she was in college; she'd probably try 
to take over this one as a protest if she thought anyone would 
follow her.  I really like her, although she's a better activist than a 
teacher.  She tends to meander all over in her lectures, which are 
usually interesting, but at test time, you're not sure how anything 
relates to anything else.

         Bill found me studying in the library after class.  "I got our 
tickets for Friday."  Bill and I and sometimes some of our other 
business friends go to the home games together on Friday.  Tickets 
are a hot property, even with a so-so team.  

        "Cool."

         "The Parental Subsidy check just came in; you wanna go eat 
out before the game?  I've got enough money to cover you."  His 
voice had a certain forced casualness which I recognized because in 
high school, I used it about a million times with various guys.  His 
look of studied diffidence was familiar to me too.  Bill is never 
diffident unless he's choking down panic.  

          Was he trying to turn this into a date?  Or was I just over 
reacting?  It's way too easy to see what we want to see in others 
instead of what is really there; I've done that before.  I'd never 
really watched Bill try to put the make on someone before, so I had 
no standard of judgment.  Well, it wouldn't hurt to let him feed me.  
"Sure.  Sounds good to me."  I smiled, but tried to not smile too 
much.  

         "Cool.  We're having another study session Wednesday night, 
right?  For the test?"

           I couldn't resist yanking his chain.  "Is that all you want to 
study with me?"  I winked at him.

         Bill blushes wonderfully.  It's fun to see him do it.  "I...uh..."

         I laughed.  "I'm just teasing you, Bill.  Yeah Wednesday night 
at Janet's place, right?"

         He nodded.  "Right.  See you!"  He walked off and crashed into 
a bookcase, straightened his suit and ran off.

          It never rains but it pours, I thought.

******************

      Irene said:

       The next step of my investigation was to decide on a good form 
I could use to slip around and talk to people without everyone 
thinking I was Tanya.  It probably would have been easier to 
wiggle the information out of them if they did think that, but I 
don't impersonate family unless it's absolutely necessary.  I took on 
the form of a woman I had seen at San Angelo, a thin beautiful girl 
with long wavy brown hair and deep green eyes.  I liked her whole 
style of dressing, sort of vaguely greek and very distinctive.  

        My first target was Harry's roommate, a guy named Donny.  
Donny's not bad looking, though not particularly handsome, with 
short black hair and brown eyes, but he is a bit charismatic, or at 
least tries to be.  I targetted him on the way to lunch.  I've met 
very few guys who won't be friendly when a good looking woman 
approaches them, and he was no exception.  I even managed to 
convince him to buy me lunch in return for a promise to buy him 
dinner.  Don't worry, I planned to keep it.  I do keep my promises.  
Anything else he may have thought I promised was purely his 
delusion, though.

        I can be patient and subtle, though I prefer to be direct.  I 
spent half of lunch failing to talk much about myself and letting 
him talk about himself.  Then I steered the conversation the way I 
wanted it to go.  "So your roommate is Harold Crags?"

        He nodded.  "Yep.  Red haired physics major at large; currently 
dating AT LEAST two women, maybe more.  He practically lives 
with those two, and I've seen him with Laura Beedles lately.  I 
dunno what he's doing right this semester, but he's starting to draw 
women like flies.  I don't mind; it means I get the room to myself, if 
I have guests, for example."  I got a meaningful look, which I 
replied to with a non-descript smile.

        "Wow.  Two women?  Maybe more?  Who?"

        "Well, his official girlfriend is Angela Bedos-Rezak, but if he 
isn't sleeping with Tanya Cromwell, I'll eat my hat."  Pause.  "If I 
had one.  And now he keeps running off to Laura Beedles' room.  
He's supposed to be tutoring her, but...You know what 'private 
lessons' can be a euphemism for."  Donny grinned.  "I've 'tutored' a 
few times."

         Yes, of course you have.  I didn't believe it, although...you 
never know.  If a guy claims he's had lots of women, he might or 
might not be telling the truth.  It's only if he admits he hasn't that 
you can probably trust him to be telling the truth.  Still, some guys 
do get a lot of women for no apparent reason.  It was possible he 
might be one of those.  I didn't think so.

        Sleeping with Tanya, eh?  I wasn't sure whether to believe 
that.  Surely she'd be more in a state of ecstasy if that was the case.  
I'd been telling her to get Harry in the sack since she was fifteen or 
so.  Not that I'd ever met him until this year, but I could tell she 
loved him from the way she'd talk about him.  

        I hoped she was that close to him, though.  If he really could 
handle two women at once, it would make this easier.  Or maybe 
harder.  I had a somewhat clearer sense of the rightness of my 
mission when Tanya wasn't really in the middle of it.  

        "And they don't mind?"

       "Well, he and Tanya have been like this," he intertwined two 
fingers, "forever and ever.  I'm surprised they didn't start sleeping 
together by the time they finished puberty.  Besides, I think Angela 
is bagging Tanya's boyfriend too, so it's a nice little love square."  
He laughed.  "I shouldn't be talking about this, but everyone knows, 
so I guess it doesn't matter.  Now Harry's a nice guy, so if he is 
doing it with Laura, I'm sure Tanya and Angela gave the ok.  
Probably she has some boyfriend she's added to the mix.  Maintain 
the balance of nature, and all that."

        I laughed.  That sounded like some sort of cockamanie 
argument I would use trying to get someone into my bed.  I liked 
it.  "Maybe she's bi, and she's sleeping with the girls too?"

        Donny blinked.  "Ya know, I never thought of that."

        The conversation turned to other things, and I bid him 
farewell.  The next step was to find someone who could tell me 
more about Angela.  Besides Mr. Bear.  That and find out from 
Tanya if she WAS sleeping with Harry.  I decided that came first.  

       I found Tanya walking across campus by herself, discarded my 
disguise, and approached her.  She nearly jumped out of her skin.  
"Irene, what are you up to?"

        "Who me?  I'm not up to anything."

        "You're out to seduce someone. I can tell just by looking at 
you."

        I shook my head.  "I'm not out to seduce anyone at this 
school."

        Tanya gave me a dubious look.  "Uh huh.  Try to seduce 
Thomas again and I'll eat you alive."

        Geez, make one mistake and they never let you live it down.  
"So, are you actually sleeping with Harry or what?"  I decided to be 
blunt.  

         Tanya tripped and fell down, sending several books and a 
notebook in all directions.  She got up and said, "Who the hell told 
you that?"

        "Harry's roommate seems to think he'd make a good satyr, so 
to speak.  He told me Harry was sleeping with both of you and 
maybe some other women too," I said casually, helping her pick up 
her stuff.  

         "I'm going to make Donny rue the day he learned to talk.  
DONNY, YOU'RE A MONKEY!!!!!"  she shouted.  People stared, but she 
ignored them.  "I am not sleeping with Harry."

        "You don't have to lie to me.  I've been trying to convince you 
to get together with him for years," I said, as we started walking 
again.

         She twitched.  "We've kissed, but that's it.  And had sex in the 
same room...but only once, and not with each other."

         "I didn't know you like voyeurism."  I filed that for mental 
reference.

        "Don't make me give you to a troll to use as a broom, Irene.  
We weren't watching each other."

        "It was a general orgy?"

         She stopped and kicked a dent in a nearby stone wall.  "Irene, 
it was just one of those wild things where you don't think about 
what you're doing.  Like the time we both..."  She blushed a bit.  
"Anyway, I haven't had sex with Harry yet."

         I have an eye for detail.  "But you're hoping that down the 
road, you will end up in the sack with him.  Is it mutual?"

         "I think so.  It's not one of those things you talk about a lot.  
I'm sure Angel would jump at the chance to have a night with 
Thomas."  She paused.  "I can't believe I told you that.  How do you 
DO this?  You ask me these stupid rude questions and I end up 
telling you everything."

        "So it's sort of a tight love square, basically.  Once Harry and 
Angel get over their inhibitions, you hope that the four of you will 
be able to pretty much swap back and forth at whim."  This would 
complicate matters.  Alex would need to seduce all four of them.  
Which could be tricky...Tanya was fairly straight, except for having 
slept with Lady Blueshield that one time, and that was only when 
she was still in that really crazy period when you'll do almost 
anything if it seems fun, right after you first awaken to your faerie 
nature.  She tried to seduce Uncle Adam too.  That's the only time I 
can think of that Mom actually locked Tanya in the tower.  

        Hmm.  Angela and Harry would be going through that right 
now.  They'd both probably end up bagging a few people on 
impulse before it was all over.  Not a good time to be dating 
someone, but probably the ideal time for Alex to try to make her 
move.  The real question would be whether it would last.  Under 
the right circumstances, she could easily get Angela into bed with 
her, but whether Angela would still desire women when the first 
adjustment was over was another question.  

         And this whole Tanya-Thomas angle...I wasn't sure what Alex 
even thought of them.  

         Tanya stared at me, looking about ready to knife me.  "Yes.  
Will you STOP asking me these questions now?"

         "Of course not,"  I teased.

         "Look, are you planning to seduce Harry, or what?  Or are you 
spying on us for Mom?"

        I laughed.  "Mom has nothing to do with this.  Nor do I plan to 
seduce Harry."

         "But someone else does."  She peered suspiciously at me.  "I 
can't believe you're doing this to me.  Then again, maybe I can."

         I sighed.  "You know I wouldn't help some noble do anything 
to family and friends as part of some power play.  I'm trying to 
play cupid, to help the course of True Love run smoothly.  Of 
course, if I can get a little for myself along the way, I won't mind, 
but you KNOW I wouldn't be prying like this to help someone make 
a move on the Queen's daughter if I wasn't sure she loved her."  Me 
and my big mouth, I thought.  

         Tanya stared at me.  "You're trying to help a  woman with 
Angie?"

         We'd reached some building.  The library, I guessed.  "Not so 
loud.  Do you think she has any chance with Angie?  Does she have 
any interest in women at all?"

        Tanya said, "Uh...We don't exactly sit around and discuss our 
sexual preferences, you know.  I dunno.  I think she only likes 
boys, but then again, you thought you only liked boys until you 
were eighteen and that girl seduced you...um...Briarose?"

         I nodded.  "She might just need such an experience...or she 
might not.  That's what I'm worried about.  She'll probably try 
anything until the transition is over, but if she reverts to being 
straight once her brain is no longer full of 2000 pound impulses..."

         Tanya sighed.  "I have no clue.  She's never made a pass at 
me, but then I've never seen her make a pass at anyone.  She's too 
shy.  I practically had to shove them together.  Harry's like that too.  
She just kinda lurks when she likes you."

         I nodded.  

         "So who is it?"

         "I can't tell you."

          She frowned.  "After everything you wiggled out of me, you'd 
BETTER tell me."

          "Well, Harry apparently knows, or so she told me, so I guess 
it can't hurt to tell you too, but you'd better NOT say anything."

          "I won't."

          I leaned against the wall.  "Countess Wildbriar."

          Tanya blinked, then blinked again, then said, "Alex?  Alex?"

        "It's that surprising?"

         "She told HARRY?  She can't confess to Angie herself, but she 
told Angie's boyfriend?"  Tanya was starting to heavily boggle.

         "I'm baffled myself.  Still, you know how things slip out.  For 
that matter, I can't be sure he didn't tell Angie about it."

         "He didn't.   She would have talked to Alex about it by now."  
Tanya sighed.  "I gotta go study.  If you use even one tiny little 
drop of love magic on anyone, I'm gonna shave you bald."

         I was a bit hurt.  "You know I don't work like that."

         She sighed again.  "I don't want to spend months cleaning this 
up, Irene."

         "If I honestly think it won't work, I won't push things."

         She stepped closer.  "But you think you can make ANYTHING 
work, Irene.  What scares me is that you often can."  She pivoted on 
one heel and strode off into the building.  I wasn't sure if that was 
a compliment or not.

         Since I can't read minds, it would be tricky to figure out what 
to do next.  I was too stubborn to give up and go back to Alex and 
just seduce her like I wanted to, since I'd given her my promise.  
More importantly, after listening to her talk about Angela and 
Harry, I WANTED to help her get together with them.  She really 
loved Angela deeply, and Harry sounded like a pretty nice guy.

         I decided to go think.  I stumbled into Thomas coming out of 
the theatre as I wandered mindlessly around the campus.  "Hi, 
Tanya!"  I had to make myself stop him from kissing me.  Normally, 
he can tell us apart, but it does take a few seconds.

        "This is Irene.  Not that I'll stop you if you keep going..." I said.

        He blushed and let go of me.  "So what brings you around?  
Thinking about trying college?"

        "Just a few college guys."  I winked.  "Got a minute?"

       "Sure.  I'm on my way home to do some studying."  We headed 
across campus.  "So who are you trying to snag?"

        I laughed.  "I'm just scouting for a friend.  Mind if I pry for a 
minute?"

         He laughed and ruffled my hair.  "You'd pry even if I told you 
no and ran off and hid under a rock."

         "I'll try to rein myself in.  I already hacked off Tanya today 
by being too pushy.  So, if you had to find out someone's sexual 
orientation without asking them, how would you do it?"

         He gave me an odd look.  "What are you up to this time?"

         "Like I said.  Scouting for a friend."

         "Hrm.  Ask other people.  See if they only date men or women 
or both.  Uh...pray to God for a vision?"  He laughed.  "I'd just ask 
them."

        "I can't do that."

         He blinked.  "What, there's something you won't do?"

         I noogied him.  "You can't just ask someone you only know a 
little what their sexual orientation is.  I mean, it's not like I have to 
know this tomorrow, but I need to know to make plans."

          We started down the slope behind his dorm.  "Is it anyone I 
know?  Maybe I can tell you."

         "I already flapped my lips too much today.  I'm good at that."

         "I suggest you just tell your friend to hit on him, her, or it, 
and see what develops.  That's what I do.  I don't normally go 
around trying to find out if the woman sleeps with my sex first."

         "Mind if I hang out with you until dinner?  I have a date, but 
nothing to do until then unless I get a clever plan."

        "Anyone I know?"

        I laughed.  "Donny.  Although he won't know it's me."

        His jaw dropped.  "I never thought I'd see the day you went 
after Donny of all people."

         "It's not a date.  I just owe him for lunch."

         "Not a date.  Uh huh.  I'll tell Harry to make sure he doesn't 
sleep in his room tonight so the two of you can have a private 
rendevous."

          I had to chase Thomas all over his dorm for that.

*********

Alex said:  

       Angel called me that night while I was studying.  Leslie got it.  
"Yo, welcome to Leslie's Taco Palace."  I heard her laugh, and she 
turned to me.  "Chef Cook, it's the little woman on the line."  She 
always calls Angel the little woman.  I think she thinks Angel and I 
had a thing going at some time.  If I'm lucky, maybe she'll be right 
some day.

       "Hey, baby, how are the kids?"  I said, laughing.  

       Angel laughed back.  "I thought I'd call and say hi.  Tanya's 
running around acting like something disastrous is about to happen, 
but she won't say why.  I think it has something to do with Irene 
coming to visit."

        I nodded nervously, although she couldn't see me.  So I said, 
"Yeah.  She came by and said hi to me, too."

        "Cool.  She also brought my stuffed bear to life."

         I laughed.  What a nut.  I turned to Leslie, "I'm gonna take 
this into the bedroom."

        "Oh, Phone sex.  Cool.  Try not to get the phone sticky, okay?"

        Bleah.  "I'll try."  I retreated into the bedroom and closed the 
door.  "How was your weekend?"

        "We have two new players and beat up some Tau Cetis and 
took a vacation in Arcadia."

         "You should have come and gotten me!  It would be easy with 
Mirror Travel."

         I heard a forehead slapping in progress.  "I didn't even think 
of that."

         "Maybe I'll drop in part of Saturday that way.  I got our usual 
Shadowrun game on Saturday night, and Friday I'm going to be 
watching us get stomped at Football with Bill."

         Angel's voice got a sort of secretive gushy tone to it.  "Oh, so 
THAT's his name?  Bill?"

         I blushed.  "What...you think I..."

         "Nice to see you FINALLY having your love life pick up," she 
said.  "Or do I miss my guess that this is the guy who's been on 
your mind?"

         "We're just friends."

          "Uh huh."  She sounded dubious.

          "We are!"

          "Come on, you can tell me, Alex.  You know I won't blab."  

          "It's NOT Bill.  Maybe.  MAYBE, if I didn't have someone else 
on my mind.  But not right now.  He'd have to learn to stop wearing 
suits all the time if we did ever go out."  I sighed.  "I just...Have you 
ever been afraid to say something out loud, because you think it 
might not happen if you did?"

          "Yeah.  I just..."  She sounded disappointed, and I felt utterly 
rotten.  She would have told me if she had a crush on someone.  
Well, maybe not if she was in my position, but she couldn't know 
that.

          "I'm scared, Angie.  It's been a long time, and I don't know 
how to approach this person, and I'm afraid it won't work out and I 
just..."  My voice was starting to break up.  A few teardrops leaked 
out of my eyes.  "I'm utterly terrified, and I don't know what to 
do."

         "You need to hop over here and let me give you a hug.  I don't 
know how to do that mirror thing yet."

          How am I gonna explain this to Leslie if I vanish?  "O..okay.  
I'll be right over."  If I don't get lost in the mirror realm.  I'm not 
too good at it.  I hung up and went and tried to dry my tears.  I 
didn't want Leslie to think I'd had a fight or something.  I got my 
compact and headed out, just telling Leslie I was taking a walk.

          I didn't get lost.  I did end up with a towel over my head 
somehow, so I fell down and nearly smushed Tanya.  Angel got the 
towel off me and hugged me tightly as I started crying again.  
Tanya gave me an odd look, then slipped out of the room, dragging 
Harry with her.  He gave me a quick squeeze on my shoulder 
before he went.  

          For a while, I just babbled incoherently while Angel held me.  
Mr. Bear was trying to hug me too, which made me laugh when I 
noticed him, so I picked him up and hugged him in my lap.  Finally, 
I calmed down and said, "Thanks, Angel."

         "I just wish we'd thought of this sooner.  Although you'll be 
here next semester.  That's gonna be COOL!"

        "If my transfer goes through."  I said.  "That's not guaranteed."

        She ruffled my hair.  "I'll just go down and use my royal 
authority if I have to."

        Her face was only a few inches from mine.  I wanted 
desperately to kiss her.  It would be easy.  Her face was shining 
with happiness, and that little lock of hair that always hangs down 
between her eyes caught my attention.  I wanted to reach out and 
touch it, brush it away, reach behind her head, pull her gently 
towards me, and kiss her softly on the lips.  A little fantasy started 
playing itself out in my mind, and I had to keep pushing it away.  
"I don't want to sleep by myself tonight."  I said quietly.

        "You wanna stay here, then?" she asked.  "Tanya would 
probably be willing to go stay with Thomas."

         I laughed a little.  "How about if she stays with Harry?"  I 
winked, and she noogied me.  "But then we could have Thomas to 
ourselves!"

          She laughed and we started wrestling, then she froze up and 
stared at me.  "You...you're joking about Thomas, right?"

          I blinked.  She looked serious.  "Thomas is cute, but he's 
taken and he's not quite my type.  He's not the person I've been 
thinking of."

          She nodded.  "I might have gone for that."  She paused, then 
turned beet red in seconds.  "I can't believe I SAID that."

          "How about Harry?"  I said as casually as I could manage.  

          "I don't think Harry would go for Thomas."  She blinked, then 
laughed.  "Oh wait, that's not what you meant.  My brain is such a 
mess."  She looked at me and said, "Did you...get weird thoughts and 
stuff in your head after your first change?"

        I nodded.  "Yeah, I was a mess.  Plus, I was pissed off all the 
time, and didn't know what to do."

        "Did you ever have any weird dreams?"

        I nodded.  "I dreamed that I was God.  I had decided to kill 
everyone except ten people and start over.  I ended up picking you 
and Mr. Endelman and my brother and seven other women, 
because I couldn't think of any other guys worth saving."

         "So I would have had to marry our geometry teacher or your 
brother?"

         "Yeah, well, I hadn't met Harry yet.  So now I'd make it seven 
girls and 3 guys."  I winked at her to let her know I was just being 
silly.  I could probably figure out an even mix now, if I wanted to.  
"So what was your weird dream?"

         "I had a bunch of them."  She blushed.  "Have you ever... 
dreamed about kissing a girl?"

        I nodded.  "Yeah."  I felt a thrill of hope, but I was worried too.  
I couldn't tell if she was scared of what I would think or if she was 
scared of what she had dreamed, or both.   "More than once.  Don't 
worry, Angel.  I don't think any less of you for that.  It was a 
dream.  And even if you told me you'd had mad passionate sex 
with Tanya, I wouldn't think any less of you.  You're my best 
friend, and as long as you don't start leaving a trail of corpses 
behind you, nothing will change that.  I don't care if you're straight, 
lesbian, bisexual, or if you start changing back and forth between 
all those."  I put a hand on her shoulder.  "You have my permission 
to kiss any kind of person you like."

        She leaned over and hugged me.  "I'm just so...All these 
dreams and impulses and everything.  Most of the time, I'm fine, 
but then I'll start fantasizing about how I want to kiss some guy in 
one of my classes or dreaming about kissing a woman or wanting to 
run naked through the Quad."  She paused.  "And what you 
said...well, I feel that way about you.  You're my friend, and nothing 
is going to change that."  She paused.  "I haven't...told Harry yet, 
about the dream I had.  I mean...I just..."

         "Don't be scared, Angel.  He loves you.  He won't get mad.  It 
was just a dream.  And he's probably had one just as crazy."  I 
hugged her tightly and fought off the impulse to kiss her.  

         "Do you think it would be possible for me to...I mean, we 
shouldn't...but I want to...to..."  Her voice was ultrahesitant.  I tried 
to guess what she was thinking.  Was she about to ask me to kiss 
her?  I hoped so, but didn't really expect it.

         Tanya stuck her head in through the door.  "You two done 
making out yet?  Should I go sleep with Harry and Thomas?"  

         Angel laughed.  "You can't have BOTH of them.  We need one."

         "Okay, I'll take Harry, and you can have Thomas.  That way 
everyone gets a new experience."

          "I say we flip Donny for it,"  I said.  "If he lands on his head, 
we get Thomas.  If he lands on his butt, we get Harry.  If he lands 
on his side, we all pile in one bed."  

         Tanya gave me an odd look, then said, "Heck, let's just go 
straight to one bed and skip the preliminaries.  You game, Harry?"

         Harry said through the door, "What?"  He stuck his head in.  
"Game for what?"

        "Think you're man enough for all three of us?"  Tanya asked.  
"I can call Thomas to be your second if you think you can't last long 
enough."

        Harry blinked.  "..."

       Well, if everyone was going to tease Harry, so was I.  I scooted 
over to make some space on the bed.  "C'mon, Harry.  I'm gonna 
have to seduce Angel myself if you don't hurry up and join us."

        Harry got big eyes, and Tanya's got a little bigger.  Then I 
remembered I'd told him how I felt about Angel.  It was hard to 
not cackle.  I've never seen someone scramble onto a bed so 
quickly.  I giggled.  Angel was laughing pretty hard herself. 

         Tanya just stood in the doorway, staring mindlessly.  "Better 
call your boyfriend,"  I said.  "He'll be disappointed if he misses 
this."

        She went to the phone, and I laughed some more.  So did 
Angel, who I could tell wasn't taking this seriously.  The scary thing 
was that I was starting to.  It was time for a three way wrestling 
match over in our corner.  Four way if you count Mr. Bear.  Harry 
didn't have much of a chance.  

        By the time Thomas arrived, Mr. Bear and Harry had lost the 
battle.  Thomas stuck his head in and said, "Ahh, are we staging 
Wrestlemania VI?"

        Harry feebly reached over and touched Thomas' hand.  "Tag!"

        He laughed and jumped onto our pile.  It's a good thing that 
these beds are very sturdy, especially since Tanya then joined our 
mobile brawl. I won, of course.  Being an ogre does have its perks. 
Even in my normal form, I'm stronger than everyone else.  Of 
course, it didn't help the guys that one of them was only a stuffed 
bear.  

        I said to Harry, who Tanya and I had pinned down, "You must 
pay a toll."

         Tanya grinned.  "Kiss everyone female in the room.  You can 
kiss Thomas too if you really want to."

         Harry laughed.  "Thanks, I'll pass."

         "But Haaaarrrryyy!!!!"  Thomas faked a pout.

         I hoped he would do it.  To my surprise, he did.  Tanya got 
the first kiss.  Then Angel, who had to let go of Thomas and come 
over.  Then me.  It wasn't a great, earth-shattering kiss, but it was 
pretty pleasant.  It was also enough to set off my hormones, which 
started raging.  Then Thomas said, "Hey, he gets to kiss everyone, 
but not me?"

         So he kissed us all as well.  The man can kiss.  Harry had been 
going kinda fast, even with Angel.  Thomas took it slow.  Even with 
me, which surprised me.  So then Tanya insisted that Harry do it 
again the right way.  Second time around was much better, though 
Thomas was still a better kisser.  Regardless of who was a better 
kisser, I didn't want to let go of Harry.  Neither did Tanya.  Or 
Angel.  Then again, neither of them seemed too eager to stop 
kissing Thomas.  

      My blood was speeding up and so was my breathing.  I was 
trying to concoct excuses in my mind for more kissing, and from 
the looks on the faces around me, so were they.  Angel and Harry 
were both flushed, Tanya looked ecstatic, and Thomas looked like 
he was rather desperately trying to control himself.  

       Then Katherine stuck her head in the door.  "Hey, Angie, you 
got a minute?"

        I wanted to scream and kill her, but I'm not that psycho.  The 
mood deflated like a punctured tire.  By the time Angie returned, 
we were all too calm to continue.  If I'd been bold enough, I might 
have gotten things going again, but I wasn't.  I stayed a little 
longer, then popped back to San Angelo, wanting to break 
something.  I didn't sleep too well that night.

***************

Irene said:

        My dinner date with Donny was rather amusing, but I won't 
go into it.  I will say that he'll gossip about just about anything or 
anyone, regardless of whether he actually has any understanding at 
all of what is REALLY going on.  I ended the evening more full of 
useless trivia about his fellow students than before.

        He also made me aware of something I could exploit.  In a 
week and a half, there was a girls invite the guys dance.  Reverse 
Day or some such silly name.  This could be perfect for my 
purposes, or at least useful.  He was making broad hints he no 
doubt thought were subtle about it, while I was carefully non-
committal.  

        My next step was to go off and get some sleep.  By myself 
again.  Three nights in a row by myself was rare.  I had to do 
something about that, or I'd find myself sleeping with Donny or 
worse.  The next day, I headed out to San Angelo again for a 
conference with Alex.

        It took me a couple of hours to find her, but in the late 
afternoon, we had our confab at her dorm room.  "Well, I can report 
that Harry might be amenable.  It depends on how honest Tanya 
was, which was probably pretty honest, and whether or not we can 
trust Donny, which would be helpful if we could, but probably not."

        Alex said, "Would you like to be more vague and confusing?"

         I laughed.  "I'll try.  Tanya is probably not sleeping with 
Harry.  However, I think if you get into bed with him, she's gonna 
want in too.  You may end having to seduce all four, which could be 
tricky.  Tanya's mostly straight, and Thomas is trying pretty hard 
to stay faithful to her, although I think sooner or later, those four 
are going to end up swapping off at least once."

          Alex blushed.  "I think we came close to that last night."  She 
told me the whole story and I nodded.

        "Well, looks like it'll just take a little push, and you'll be on 
your way."  I smiled.  "Perhaps I should arrange just a little party 
with the six of us."

         Alex blushed.  "I dunno if a group orgy is really quite the way 
to go."

        "A pity."  I sat back and thought.  "Basically, what you need is 
to get past your inhibition about telling Angela about how you feel 
about her.  And the privacy to do so without people showing up.  
Except perhaps Harry."

         Alex grabbed a pillow off her bed and hugged it frustratedly.  
"I'm just afraid of what she'll say.  I know now that she won't hate 
me, but...I still don't know how she feels about...having a..."

        "Girlfriend."

        Alex nodded.

         "Would making out passionately by a waterfall help you 
think?"  It always works for me.

        She threw the pillow at me.  "Geez, you never give up!"

        I used a trick I learned from an old phooka.  Her radio 
suddenly flared to life, playing "If you can't be with the one you 
love, love the one you're with."    I grinned.  "There's a message for 
you there."

        She frowned, then sighed.  "I just...I need some clue..."

        "Sometimes you have no clue.  Love can be like playing tag in 
the dark.  You run around until you bump into something, then you 
touch it and yell 'tag' and hope you didn't just feed your fingers to 
a wolverine."  Dad likes this metaphor.  I felt pretty slick working it 
in.

         "I've fed my fingertips to a lot of wolverines and bears and 
lions and tigers, oh my."  She laughed faintly.  "All of my love 
affairs have ended unhappily, and only one of them was really 
good."

        "I've had some really messy disasters, including nearly setting 
off a small war.  You just have to keep trying.  I don't think 
everyone has just ONE perfect person.  I think everyone has a lot of 
chances, and you should take as many of them as you can.  And if 
you ever think you'll never love again, you're wrong.  You can 
always love again."  I got up, came over, and sat down on Alex's 
bed by her.  "But first you have to believe that people can love 
you."

         "I know.  I hope I can be loved, but...I just don't believe it.  I 
hardly ever find myself desirable.  Except when I was with Linda.  
She loved me, and she made me feel loveable."  She leaned back 
against the wall.  

         "I find you desirable."  I moved a little closer, feeling a little 
wave of excitement.  "You're beautiful, dedicated, and loyal.  You've 
had a horrid life, but you haven't let it break you."  I reached over 
and took her hand.  "I'll admit I have a special weakness for ogres.  
I find them to be so sexy I can hardly stand it.  You're among the 
best of them I've seen."

          She didn't take her hand away from mine.  "I'm not special.  
I'm this tall, ugly..."  

         I put my other hand over her mouth.  "You're not ugly.  You 
have a pure and shining heart, and its light is as bright as any star."  
Okay, I was laying it on a bit thick.  She needed it.  "You're brave, 
and strong, and loving."  I dragged her over to the bathroom so she 
could look at herself in the mirror.  "Look at yourself.  You have 
lovely hair, although you could do a lot more with it.  Your eyes are 
a deep, beautiful blue."  I ran a finger along one arm.  "Look at 
these muscles.  I wouldn't be this strong if I worked out for the rest 
of my life."  Another finger ran down the middle of her chest.  "Nice 
breasts and a tight stomach.  Good firm legs.  And your face is 
wonderful as well.  Nice soft curves, a nose that isn't too big or too 
small, and lovely ears."  The finger that had been on her stomach 
now traced the outline of one ear.  She shivered.  I filed that for 
future reference.  "Try to tell me you're not beautiful."

        She was gripping the edge of the sink and staring at herself.  
"Dang, I hadn't really thought about how much weight I've lost.  I 
used to be kinda porky, which isn't easy for a tall person."

        "That was then.  This is now.  You have the body of a warrior, 
and the body of a warrior is VERY sexy."  I moved to one side of 
her.  "You may rescue this maiden and claim your reward any time 
you like."  

        She shivered slightly.  I hoped she wasn't trying to restrain 
laughter at my last line.  Sometimes my efforts at sexy dialogue 
work, and sometimes I make a good comedian.  "If Angela and 
Harry do not long for your touch, then they have very strange 
tastes.  For a true relationship, love must be joined with a long and 
deep friendship, and you and Angela already possess that.  If I 
were her, I would be dreaming of you every night, hoping you would 
sweep me away in your strong arms and carry me to your bed, 
cradling me by your heart forever."

        Alex stared into the mirror, her gaze a little unfocused.  She 
was breathing hard.  I continued, my voice soft, my body almost 
touching hers, but not quite.  "And as for Harry, is not hate but 
another side of love?  In both story and reality, deep hate can turn 
to deep love when we but admit what we truly feel and forgive the 
hurts done us, the hurts that hurt most because we truly loved the 
person who inflicted them.  Could you have reconciled if there was 
no potential for love between you?  He is a thinker, calm, orderly, 
while you are a warrior, bold, impulsive.  Opposites attract, after 
all.  The bold long for someone calmer, while the calm dream of a 
wild child to carry their heart away.  Surely if your hate for him 
has turned to love, his hate for you could have become love as 
well."

         Alex gulped.  "I want to believe you.  I'm just...so scared."  She 
shuddered.  "I want them.  I want to jump through this mirror right 
now and just rip off their clothing and..."  She shuddered again.  
"That wouldn't be wise."

         "Well, you could rip mine off and get it out of your system."  I 
laughed.  "Sorry, I just can't stop, sometimes."

          "I hate being frustrated like this."  Her arms were twitching.  
"I wish I had the strength to tell them!  I just...I can't face them.  I 
don't have the guts.  And it PISSES ME OFF!"  She reared back her 
fist to smash the mirror, but I grappled her arm, which slowed her 
down enough to let her stop herself.  

          "Well, there is another option..."

          She turned to me.  "What?"

           I drew upon the magical energies.  It was harder and slower 
in the mortal realm, especially since I was doing something 
'impossible', or to be more correct, 'highly improbable'.  If it was 
truly impossible, not even magic would do it.  Soon, I looked more 
like Alex than she did.  "Ta da."

           "You...you're volunteering to...go in my place?  Test the 
waters so to speak?"  

         I nodded, speaking with her voice.  "Or I could do this."  Bink, 
not too instant Angel.  "So you could practice."

         "Can you do Sean Connery?"

         "Who?"

         She sighed.  "I'd have been willing to give you a kiss if you 
could do him."

         I resolved to go research this person.  "Anyone else you'd be 
willing to give me a kiss for?"

         Alex stepped forward and planted a kiss on my forehead, 
then blushed and stepped back.  "That's for all your efforts to help 
me.  What it really comes down to is that I have to get up the 
courage to tell them."

         I turned back to normal.  "You're planning to pop down this 
Saturday, right?"

         She nodded.  

         "That gives us several days to plan, then.  Let's get to it."

***********

Alex said:  

       Angel and Irene have one thing in common:  they overplan 
things.  We practically wrote me a script to go by.  We planned my 
perfume, my clothing, the best time to go, romantic catchphrases, 
and twenty good places in Arcadia to take your lover(s).  We made 
contingency plans for if various people showed up and ways to not 
be interrupted.  

        And of course I forgot virtually everything by the time I woke 
up on Thursday and dragged myself to Information Science.  8 AM 
tests were created by Satan, I'm pretty sure.  Our study session the 
previous night had gone well, though, and I thought I'd nailed the 
test.

        Erica came to chat with me in the library.  She's a chain-
smoking, cross-dressing Goth from South Dakota.  At least, she 
wants to be a goth, but it doesn't work with bright yellow hair, 
although it is cut short.   She's so skinny it makes passing as a boy 
easy.  Yeah, I know some unusual people.  Her boyfriend, Michael, 
aka Michelle, is also a cross-dresser.  He's more feminine than I am, 
and also from South Dakota.  No delusions of gothdom, though.  

        Anyway, Erica is the GM for our Saturday night Shadowrun 
game.  She's one of the relatively normal members of our group, 
which gives you an idea.  She's also the only straight female in it, 
although two of the guys are straight.  She had other things to ask 
me about.  "You gonna come to the party this Friday?"  Erica is part 
of the same crowd as Linda, and they had a party planned for this 
Friday.  

         I shook my head.  "Everytime Linda and I go to the same 
party, she runs and hides.  No point in ruining it for both of us.  
Besides, Bill and I are going to the football game."

          Erica cocked her head.  "You've been doing that a lot lately.  
You two got a thing going?"

         I blushed a little.  "Me and Bill?  He wouldn't date a bisexual 
in a million years.  They'd probably burn him at the stake down at 
Second Baptist."

         She frowned.  "But otherwise, you would be?"

         This is how rumors get started.  If I deny it, she'll think I'm 
covering things up.  "Would you date Bill?"

        "If he'd date a crossdresser, I might.  He's a nice guy.  
Probably too conservative for the long term, but you could do a lot 
worse, Alex.  Besides, you could trade tips on picking up women."  
She grinned.  

        Mom would die from joy if I dated someone like Bill.  Or dated 
anyone, for that matter.  "I'll let him know a crossdresser is lusting 
for him, and see what he thinks."  

         She lightly bapped me with a book.  "Don't make me maim 
you."

         Thursday passed by without incident except for another 
hyperactive planning session.  I took notes this time.  Friday went 
well, and Bill came by to get me at five thirty for dinner.  We went 
out to TGIFridays, which was rather appropriate.  Steak for me, of 
course.  I only eat it in restaurants, usually, and I love it.  He had 
fried chicken.  As usual, he was dressed up in a suit, and I had put 
on a nice blouse and a skirt, just so he wouldn't look like the only 
formally dressed person in the room.

         We discussed the test for a while and what we'd gotten right 
and wrong, then talked about the upcoming game.  I was sure we'd 
get crushed, while he was sure we'd win.  He's an optimist.  I'm 
more pessimistic, especially about our lousy football team.  

        "I can't believe you're gonna wear a suit to a football game 
again."

        "Didn't have time to change."  he said.  "Besides, I like looking 
spiffy.  I had to wear hand me downs all my life; finally, I get to 
wear new clothing."

        "I hear you on that.  Faded clothing with premade holes.  
Bleah."

        Out of the blue, he asked, "Did you date much in high school?"
       
        I nodded.  "I had enough boyfriends for three ordinary girls.  
Went through them like tissue paper.  I'd happily throw most of 
them in front of a speeding truck."  I sighed, then took another bite 
of steak and let my tastebuds wash away vestigial anger.  "I don't 
know why I attracted so many guys.  I was a little fat, kinda shy, 
and a bit weird."

        "Well, you're pretty gorgeous now," he said, then filled his 
mouth with chicken, perhaps to avoid saying more, perhaps not.

         I nearly choked on my next bite of steak.  "You think I'm 
gorgeous?"

         He blushed a bit, and dragged out his chewing longer than it 
should have taken.  "A lot of women would kill for your body.  
You'd have men all over you if they knew you were available, like I 
told you on Tuesday."

         "You really think so?"

         "Heck, I'd kill for your body.  I don't have time to work out, 
but you've got a nice physique.  How do you find time, anyway?"

        "I use magic."

        He laughed.  "I won't pry, then.  I don't think the Elders would 
like that."

        We chatted a bit more, ate, paid our bill, and left.  We reached 
the game with plenty of time and had a grand old time.  San Angelo 
actually won by ten.  Bill was cackling.  "I told you!  I told you we'd 
win!"  

         We walked back from the stadium together.  We live in 
different dorms, but they're right next to each other.  The air was a 
bit cold, and I had my jacket zipped tight.  Bill was shivering a bit 
since he hadn't brought his overcoat and his suit didn't stop cold 
well.  "You want my coat?  You look like you're gonna die."

         He looked at me, blinked, and grinned.  "Shouldn't the guy do 
that for the girl?"

         "I don't do things the normal way,"  I said back.  "I'm special."  
I grinned back at him.

         "Yeah, you sure are," he said.

          I have to say it was nice to hear someone say that, even 
though we were just joking around.  We'd just about reached our 
two dorms.  Time for the trail to divide on this roundup, so to 
speak.  "Well, I'll be seeing you,"  I said.

         He paused and gave me an odd look, like he wanted to say 
something, but couldn't muster the courage.  Yet another time I 
wished that being a faerie had also made me psychic.  "Do you..."

         "Do I?  Of course I do."  I laughed.  "I can't read your mind, 
Bill."

          He stepped a step closer to me.  "You doing anything 
tomorrow night?"

          "Got my usual Shadowrun game.  We're gonna go toast the 
Spocks."  The Spockers are a whacko poser gang who all dress like 
Star Trek Vulcans in Erica's campaign.  She's a big Star Trek fan, 
like Angel.

         "Oh, okay."  He sounded a bit disappointed.

         I decided to just once grab the bull by the horns.  "Bill, are 
you trying to ask me out?"

        "Yes.  No...umm...do you want to be asked out?"  It was hard 
not to do something mean like laughing at the way Bill was now 
dancing around on his feet and looking like I'd taken off my shirt 
and tossed it over his head.

        "Maybe some day, Bill, but not right now.  There's someone 
I'm already in love with, and I'm hoping to work things out with 
them soon."  I stepped closer.  "It's not 'cause I hate you or 
anything.  You're a nice guy, Bill, and if you'd tried this earlier, I 
might have gone for it, but I've got someone else on my mind."  I 
put a hand on his shoulder.  "I don't think your church would 
approve too much of me, anyway."

         "I...you...you're a good person, Alex.  They'd see that."  He 
sounded quite earnest, maybe he even believed it entirely.  I think 
I'd get flayed alive if I set foot there.  I'd make a lousy Baptist.  
"I...I like you, Alex.  That's what counts, right?  Not what other 
people think."

         For a moment, I didn't know what to say in reply.  "You're 
right, Bill.  Some of my friends don't like you much either.  But I 
like you anyway.  Just not like that.  Not now.  If things change, I'll 
let you know, but my heart isn't free to be given away.  I'm sorry, 
Bill."

         "You don't have to be sorry," he said softly.  "I'm sorry to 
bother you."  He turned to go, but I grabbed him and turned him 
back around.

         "It's not a bother.  I'm flattered.  You're the first person to 
want me a in a long time, and that...that makes me feel good, Bill.  
I'm probably on a fool's quest, but until I either win or lose, it 
wouldn't be right for me to lead other people on with false hopes."  
I stepped in very close to Bill and put my arms around him, not 
quite sure what I was doing.  "But you're first on my list if this 
doesn't work out."

          He stared at my face, which was now very close to his.  
"I...am?"

          On impulse, I kissed him full on the lips for quite a while.  I 
shouldn't have done it...you don't tell someone you can't date them, 
then kiss them.  I wanted to do it, though.  After the first few 
seconds, in which he was so tense, I thought he'd explode, he 
relaxed into the kiss.  "Now you can say you're the first guy at San 
Angelo to kiss big bad Alex."  I winked.  "You can tell them it was 
your manliness that won me back to liking guys."  I let go of him.  

       He laughed faintly.  "Let me know if things change."

       "I will.  Goodnight, Bill.  See ya on Monday?"

       "Goodnight."  He walked off, looking confused.  I watched him 
go, a little confused myself.  I can be as impulsive as any faerie, but 
I normally don't have that kind of impulse.  I shouldn't have kissed 
him...better not to give false hope, but...I just felt like he deserved a 
kiss.  

        Something moved up on the roof of his dorm, startling me, 
then flew off.  A bat.  Where the stupid things hide when they're 
not scaring people, I don't know.  Last year, we had a twenty 
minute chase through my dorm in which a bat eluded fifteen 
students with various devices for pounding on things and finally 
escaped through a window.

        I ignored the bat and went home, going to bed.  I slept like the 
dead, except for skipping the rigor mortis part.  The morning was 
devoted to homework so I could go spend the afternoon with Angel.  
I also went and worked out for an hour to relax myself.  I probably 
don't really need to do that with my magic-enhanced physique, but 
I like it.  I tend to scare people who watch me lift, which is pretty 
amusing.  I look pretty buff, but not enough to press olympic levels 
of weights.  And that's just my mortal form.  My faerie form can 
bench several tons, shatter brick, and knock down small trees.  
Ogres specialize in strength.  It's our 'racial' affinity.  Most kinds of 
faeries have a race affinity and a personal one.  Strength for ogres, 
Plants for dryads, Water for Naiads, etc.  The Sidhe are unusual in 
that they usually have two personal affinities and no real racial 
affinity.  My personal affinity is Earth magic and I've been 
practicing magical ventriloquism, just because it's fun.  I can throw 
my voice about a hundred feet now and change it to sound like 
other people.  

        I went and took a shower after my workout and tried to 
decide what to wear.  Irene and I had carefully worked this out, 
but now I was having second thoughts.  This wasn't a guy who I 
had to sweep off my feet.  It was Angel, my best friend.  I had to 
be me.  Not that wearing a fancy outfit wouldn't make me me, 
but...it wasn't part of my real self-image anymore.  Doing it 
sometimes was okay, but I wasn't going to be posing for any 
romance novel covers with this.

        I put on a t-shirt and jeans.  Not quite as 'macho' as my usual 
fare, but not 'look at how feminine I am' either.  It was the cast T-
shirt from 'Arsenic and Old Lace', which Angel and I were both in 
our senior year of High School.  She was one of the aunts, and I was 
an FBI agent and on the Tech crew.  Yes, I know there were no 
female agents in the original, but our plays usually only had about 
3-5 guys available, so if there were more male parts, a woman had 
to take them.  

        We had had a LOT of fun on that play, so I thought it would 
evoke some good memories.  I didn't bother to put any makeup on, 
but I did spent half an hour fiddling with my hair.  It's pretty long, 
black, and wavy, and usually I don't bother doing anything with it 
but brush it and make sure it stays clean.  I went through every 
hairstyle I could think of, even double pony-tails, just to see what 
it would look like.  I ended up making it into a pony-tail, just 
because I felt the urge to do SOMETHING with it, yet could think of 
no good ideas.  I also dug out a blue hair ribbon I hadn't used in 
two years, and put on my high school ring, which I rarely bother to 
wear.  I used to have a lot of jewelry, but most of it is back in 
Plano.  I also put on the silver necklace with a little medallion of 
some wizard that Angel gave me for Christmas.  

       Armed for battle, I went to the mirror.  Leslie was gone.  She'd 
gone on a date and not come back yet, which was fairly normal for 
her weekends.  I was terrified.  No backing down now, Alex.  Into 
the mirror, then a few minutes in the oddball dimension of mirrors.  
Then *pop*, and I was out in Angel's room.  No one was there.  I 
heard motion out in the living room, though, so I opened the door.  
Kathie and Tanya and Mindi were throwing darts at some picture 
taped to the wall of a middle-aged guy.  They spotted me before I 
could duck out of sight.  I didn't want to have to try to explain how 
I got into the room without them noticing.  Tanya could guess, but 
the other two were another question.

        Kathie said, "Oh, hi, Alex.  Didn't realize you were here."

       "Who are you darting to death?"

       "The Director of Student Activities.  He cut the English club's 
funding again,"  Kathie said.  "We're hoping this works as well as a 
voodoo doll."

        I laughed.  Mindi said, "The only people who got less money 
than us was the Frisbee Golf Club."  She sighed.  

        "Angel had to run to the library to return a few books she'd 
forgotten about.  She'll be back soon,"  Tanya said.

        "I'll see if I can intercept her, then,"  I said, heading out.  
Knowing Angel, she'd try to just return the books, but then the 
stacks would suck her in and she'd end up with a pile of twenty 
more books to check out.  

        I headed out the back door of Muggleton and up the slightly 
sloping field known as 'Muggleton Beach' which lies between the 
Quad and the upperclassmen coed dorms.  Walking between 
Anderson Science and Spray English/Foreign Language, I entered 
the Quad, which is a big rectangle formed by most of the classroom 
buildings.  Kutler Library is on the far side, a huge four story 
granite box that is the second oldest building on campus, and looks 
it.  I could probably give it a good shove in my Ogre form and 
destroy half of it.  

        As I crossed the Quad, I took a good look at the three statues 
that sit in the middle of it.  I'd never really noticed them before in 
my previous visits, probably because this was the first time I'd 
ever been wandering around alone on campus.  A plaque noted 
they had been on campus continually since its founding in the 
1870s.  The first was one of those standard statues of 'Justice', with 
a blindfold, scales, and a sword.  The second was a statue of Jesus.  
Not the sort of thing you normally expect to find on a college 
campus, at least at a non-religious institution.  At least it looked 
like Jesus to me, but it was labelled 'Hope'.  The third was a woman 
holding a lantern on a pole with her right hand, frozen in mid-step, 
with a sword hung from her belt.  She was very well carved, in 
such a way that she seemed to be looking for something.  It was 
labelled, 'Truth in search of Honesty.'  Someone named Cornelius 
Auberon was the sculptor.  He had also been the architect of White 
Hall and Kutler according to the plaque, and the first president of 
the University.  

        Angel found me still staring at the third statue.  The first two 
were rather stylized, but the third was ultra-realistic, down to little 
wrinkles in her clothing and a scar on the back of her right hand.  
It looked like an old burn.  "Hi, Alex.  Taking a look at...eep."

       I blinked.  "Eep?"

        She ran over and looked intently at the statue.  "I think I met 
the model for that."

        "What?"

        "She was in the Mists the time Splinter kidnapped me.  Her 
name is Ariel.  Geez, why didn't I notice this before?"  She shook 
her head.  "I guess I'm so used to this campus, I don't really LOOK 
at anything anymore."  She put down the eight books she was 
carrying.  "That's even what she told me."

        "What?"

        "That she was in search of an honest woman.  I guess being a 
faerie, she probably is old enough to have modeled for this.  Heck, 
she might have carved it."  Angel walked over and looked more 
closely.  "That's her face alright."

        "Is Hope over there supposed to be Jesus, or is that just me?"

        "I think so.  And Justice was the wife of the County Judge back 
when this place was founded."

        I laughed.  "I see you couldn't resist adding more books to 
your pile."

        She blinked then looked at the books.  "I just can't seem to get 
out of that library without finding something cool."  She smiled.  "So 
what do you wanna do?"

        "Food first. I'm starving."

        "Well, Harry drove down to UT to do some research for a 
paper, so I have no car, so we either walk to Wendy's or KFC or it's 
the Commons."

        "Or McDonalds."

        "I'd rather marry Splinter than go to McDonalds."  Angel hates 
McDonalds.  Don't ask me why. Maybe Ronald McDonald frightened 
her mother.  Anyway, we headed over to KFC and had a nice meal, 
then went to Thornton Park, which is across West Campus Street 
from the campus and played frisbee for a while, after snagging a 
frisbee from Angel's room.  

        I kept trying to muster my courage, but it seemed to be 
draining out of my foot and into the ground.  Some day I'll figure 
out how I could face a charging bear without flinching, but freeze 
up in social situations, which can't kill me.  I suppose knowing the 
bear couldn't kill me either helped.  

         Finally, after a half hour or so of frisbee, we plopped down 
under a tree to talk.  After a few minutes of discussing various 
things, I told her about my adventure with Bill as a way of working 
up to where I could tell her what I felt.  "I hope we can still be 
friends, but I just...I'm in love with someone else.  Otherwise, I'd 
give him a chance."

         "Any chance you can finally tell me who?"  Angel asked 
quietly.  

         "Yes."  I grabbed a pinecone and crushed it, trying to relax 
myself.  "But first, I have to tell you something I've been hiding 
from you."

        She nodded quietly.

        "I'm bisexual, Angel.  My friend who helped me put myself 
back together was my lover.  Her name was Linda, and we went out 
for a year.  I never told you because I was terrified you wouldn't 
want to be my friend anymore.  I'm sorry I lied to you, Angel."  I 
stared at the ground.  "I'm really, really sorry.  I haven't told Mom 
either."

         I looked over at Angel.  She was staring at me in shock.  Fear 
ran through me.  She looked just like Linda had when I told her I 
was a faerie and transformed in front of her.  I almost tried to 
claim it was a joke, but I choked down my fear.  "She dumped me 
when she found out I was a faerie.  She thought I was a freak, a 
monster, a..." I started to cry.  "I loved her more than anything, and 
when I told her what I really was, she hated and feared me.  I 
just..."  A powerful sob cut off my ability to speak.

       Two arms wrapped around me.  "You're not a freak, Alex.  
You're a wonderful person, and you deserve better than her.  I'm 
glad you told me the truth."  Her voice was soft and soothing.  "And 
I don't blame you for not telling me.  I wouldn't have been able to 
tell you either."

       Some of my fear took the next train to the coast, but the rest 
tried to pick up the slack.  "So now you know why I didn't tell you 
about who I'm interested in.  Well, one of the two people."

        "Is she cute?"

         I laughed.  "As cute as you are.  Not quite as cute as say 
Thomas or Tanya.  The guy's pretty cute too.  They're dating each 
other."

         Angel's eyes widened.  "That sucks.  Not too much hope, then.  
I'm sorry for you, Alex.  Anyone I've heard of?"  

         I had to focus every droplet of willpower I had ever 
possessed to get the next words out of my mouth.  "Yeah, you know 
them pretty well."  I didn't have quite enough willpower.

        She thought a moment, then her eyes widened.  "Thomas and 
Tanya?"

        I laughed.  That was just what I needed.  I slid right out of her 
hug and onto the ground, pounding on it with one fist.  "I'm not 
much good at hints, but it's nice to know you're even worse at 
taking them."

       She blinked.  "Hrm.  Can't think of too many couples we both 
know who you migh..."  Her voice trailed off and her eyes widened.  
"You mean Ha...Harry and ..."

       I sat back up and moved over to her again.  "Harry and you, 
Angel."  I watched her boggle for a few seconds.  "Harry knows 
about this."

       That roughly tripled her boggle level.  She looked like a human 
toon.  Her lips kept flapping without making any noises.  Finally, 
she said, "Ha...Harry knows?"

        "How I feel about you.  Not about how I feel about him.  That's 
changed since I told him how I felt about you."

         Angel sat back against the tree.  "How...how long...have 
you...been in love with me?"

         "I've loved you for a very long time, but I only really realized 
it after Linda dumped me.  At least that's when it had any kind of 
romantic or sexual aspect."  I leaned closer.  "And with Harry, it 
was after I REALLY started to get to know him that I fell for him.  I 
had thought I'd never love a guy again for a long time...it was a real 
shock."  I sighed.  "Sorry to dump this all on you."

          Angel turned her head and stared at me.  She looked scared, 
though why she would be scared, I wasn't sure.  She didn't exactly 
look scared of me.  You don't move closer to someone who scares 
you.  At least I don't.  Maybe you do.  "Are you...are you going 
to...k...k...kiss me?"

         "I don't think you want me to."  I sighed.  What a fool I am.

          She gulped.  "I'm not sure what I want."  Suddenly, she 
lunged at me, nearly giving me a heart attack.  I fell backwards as 
her arms wrapped around my neck, her body pressed to my chest, 
and her lips met mine.  I wrapped my arms around her torso 
instinctively, but forgot to really kiss back at first.  I was too busy 
being shocked.  Getting over that pretty quickly, I started 
smooching back, feeling a rush of joy mixed with hormones.  I 
couldn't believe it.  Finally, she broke off the kiss and sat back.  
"Wow."

          I didn't know what to say.  At all.  My brain was too busy 
tripping out with crazed fantasies to speak anyway.  For a moment, 
a stab of suspicion ran through me.  What if this was Irene in 
disguise?  Or a fetch.  It could be a trap. I shook off the thought.  I 
hoped Irene wouldn't do that, and I couldn't see why a fetch would 
waste his or her time doing this.  

           "Alex, I...I liked that."  She paused.  "But I don't know 
if...if..I'll still like it in a few weeks when I stop...when I'm used to 
being a faerie.  Tanya told me about some of the wild stuff she did 
when she went through her transition.  I want to kiss you again, 
but I'm...I'm afraid I'll change my mind.  I don't want to hurt you 
like that, but I don't know...I mean, I don't want to start a love 
affair with you and then suddenly not want to sleep with you 
anymore and then I don't know what Harry is going to think about 
this, although if he is going through what I am, he'd probably be 
happy if we shared him, especially if we invited Tanya to join us, 
and I wouldn't mind inviting Thomas too and I'm babbling, aren't 
I?"  She took a deep breath.

          I nodded.  I could appreciate that.  I'd had more trouble with 
violent impulses myself than sexual ones, though I'd had some of 
those too.  I didn't want to wait for her time to pass though.  I 
wanted to be her lover now.  I could wait.  I'd make myself wait.  It 
was the smart thing to do.  I didn't want to be smart.  Especially 
when there was no way of predicting for sure how long it would 
take for her to stabilize.  Probably about 2 to 3 months.  That would 
be after Christmas.  "Oh...okay.  I...I need to tell Harry too."

         Angel grinned a naughty sort of grin that I would never have 
expected to see on her face.  "Let's tell him by seducing him 
together."  She blushed and the grin faded.  "I can't believe I said 
that.  I feel like I'm going mad, Alex.  I have all these thoughts 
rushing around in my head, and it's getting harder to rein them in.  
I had a brief fantasy about Dr. Tarkington.  You don't get much less 
sexy than him.  He couldn't get a date on a planet of 
nymphomaniacs."  She shuddered.  "It doesn't stay like this forever, 
does it?"

        I shook my head.  "You're entering the worst of it.  It'll 
probably peak by Thanksgiving, then gradually fade.  It helps if 
you act on some of the impulses.  If you try to fight them all, you'll 
just snap eventually, probably at the worst possible time.  Just try 
to pick ones that won't get you in too much trouble."

        "Right.  Then we ARE going to seduce Harry together.  We 
haven't made love since last weekend, and if I wait any longer, I'm 
going to go mad and eat my arm."  She nodded.  "Let's see...what's 
the best place for both of us to have our way with Harry.  Timing 
may be tricky too.  He should be back by five...hmm, this would 
have to go after the D&D game, I think.  I don't want it to be rushed 
or have people walk in on us...know any good hideaways in 
Arcadia?"

         "Irene offered me the use of a hunting lodge on her family's 
lands."  If I can find it, I thought.

         "Sounds great.  Can you stay for the D&D game?"  Angel was 
starting to relax as she slipped into planning mode.  I smiled a 
little.  It was almost as if nothing had happened at all.  

         "We have Shadowrun tonight.  But I could come back 
afterwards."

         "Okay.  Come back after your game is over, and we'll ride out 
to that lodge and seduce Harry."

         It all seemed utterly unreal.  I was very happy, but scared 
too.  I felt like I was going to wake up and be alone again.  "How 
late do you play to?"

         "Midnight, usually."

         "Same for us.  I'll hurry here."  I leaned over and kissed 
Angel's cheek.  She blushed.  "Boy, I bet Harry's gonna be surprised.  
Are you...sure he'll go for this?"
 
         "We'll make him go for it."  She grinned, more naturally this 
time, but with a confident tone her voice often lacks.  "Let's go 
make sure we can get to that lodge fast enough after the game that 
Harry won't fall asleep on us on the way there, okay?"

         I laughed.  "As you command, my princess."

         The lodge was too far for a midnight ride, but it had a mirror, 
and that was all we'd need.  It was nearly five by the time we got 
back.  "I'd best go study some before my game,"  I said.

         She nodded.  "See you after the game.  I'll be looking for 
something sexy to wear."  She laughed.  "Not that I own anything 
sexy.  Maybe I'll just study instead."

         I hugged her bye, and headed back to my school until the 
evening.

*************

Irene said:          

        Having set Alex as firmly on the path as I could, I decided to 
go home and check in with my parents before they started 
worrying about me.  Mother was off at some sort of confrence the 
Queen had called, but Father was in and happy to see me.  "Did you 
succeed in seducing him or her?"  he asked, grinning.

        I blushed.  "Did you send someone to spy on me?"

        "I know you're usually off getting into trouble when you go 
anywhere alone."  He stretched.  "Want to go for a ride with me and 
talk about it?"

        We galloped through the light woods that fill most of the 
County.  The trees are fairly short as trees go, with silvery bark and 
golden leaves.  Flower-filled meadows form periodic breaks in the 
forest.  I have to say that I approve of Mother's taste in nature.  
She made this, forging this realm from the Mists hundreds of years 
ago.  It's the second version.  The first one evaporated after she 
died in the Great Disaster.  

         I told Father everything.  He's good at giving me advice on 
relationships.  It would probably help if I listened to it more often.  
"So what do you think?"

        "You need to get your mind off all this.  I suggest you go see 
your birth mother.  It's about time she met you."

         I boggled.  "What does that have to do with..."

         "Absolutely nothing, but we've been putting this off far too 
long.  And your mother might decide she doesn't approve, so you'd 
better go before she finds out, eh?"  He smiled at me.

        I laughed.  "Now I know where I got all my bad habits.  You 
really think she might not approve?"

        He sighed.  "I think she's afraid of losing you to her, so to 
speak.  Aquamarine already likes Mrs. Cromwell better than your mother, 
and she's afraid you will too."

         "That's silly.  Aquamarine just doesn't understand Mom.  We 
all have duties we have to fulfill.  When the time comes, I will do 
my duty.  But for now, I'm having fun."

        He sighed.  "This usually happens with changelings.  They love 
the parents who raise them.  But she can't see that.  I think she 
expects both of you to love her best."  

        "I'm scared of what she'll think of me."

        "I would be too.  But I'm sure she'll grow to see your good 
features in time.  And this is a good time to go, before the 
Christmas season starts and we're too busy to be  alive."

       "Too busy partying, maybe."  I laughed.  "Alright, I'll go see her 
as soon as I can."

        "How about today?"

        And so I rode off to Tyler, Texas.  

************

         Alex said:

         The Shadowrun game went pretty well, although I had my 
mind on other matters.  That's why I really messed up at one point.  
I play this incredibly namby-pamby Elven mage named 'Kitty 
Goldeneyes'.  I tried to think of a more stupid name, but I couldn't.  
I took the character after Erika told me that if I played one more 
Orc Street Samurai, she'd kill me.  To my amazement, I really love 
this character.  I try to play her as Smurfette post-puberty.  So no 
one caught on at first that I wasn't failing to pay attention because 
it was in character for me to be lost in space.

        "So what does Kitty do?"  Erika asked.

        Being utterly lost in fantasy land, I said, "I kiss him."  Three 
guesses what I was thinking about, and the first two don't count.  
"Then I kiss her."

        Everyone just about busted a gut laughing.  Erika said, "The 
deranged Cyberlegger pauses in the process of trying to gun down 
Turk when Kitty kisses him.  He says, 'Later, baby.  I gotta kill your 
friends first.'"  She turned to Turk's player, Jeff, who is a drama 
major.  I think he's after Erika's boyfriend, but Jeff is 
just...enigmatic.  You never really know what he's thinking.  "You 
gonna dodge or get shot, Turk?"

        Jeff said, "I dodge."  He rolled the dice and got junk.  "Into the 
bullets."

        I realized what I'd said.  "Ack."

        Michelle (who may be a guy, but I always think of him as a 
girl, so I'll just use his pseudonym) said, "Man, you've got it BAD.  
You lusting after a sex-changer or what?"

        I blushed.  "No.  Two people."  I slapped a hand over my 
mouth.

        Jeff said, "The cyberlegger and who?"  He grinned.  

        "Well, I saw her and Bill smooching after the football game,"  
Megan said.  "I think I scared a bat too.  I opened my window and 
tried to pet it."  Megan is a touch lost in space, but she's a nice 
person.  She's a philosophy/english double major, which I like to call 
the 'high road to starvation'.  She's too busy thinking about the 
nature of reality to notice reality, I think.  She also gossips about 
anything that moves.  

          For a moment, the world was silent, then Jeff boggled.  I'd 
never seen him boggle, and didn't think it was possible.  "Bill?  
BILL?"  He looked at his hands as if they were suddenly talking to 
him.  "No way."

        Michelle said, "You and...Bill?"

        Erika said, "Dang."

         Frank, who usually plays Elf Mages, but is now playing an Orc 
street samurai that is a parody of all my characters, just like mine 
is a parody of his said, "I thought you didn't like guys."  

        Jeff leaned across the table.  "BILL?  How could you POSSIBLY 
kiss Bill?"  

        I leaned back.  "Geez, it's not like I kissed a cow or something, 
Jeff.  Why are you flipping out?"

        "The man is the most militant gay I've ever met in my life!  
And he HATES women!"  Jeff paused.  "And he can't sing at all.  But 
he tries."  Jeff buried his face in his hands.  "Sometimes I wake up 
at night, hearing him sing, and I want to scream."

        I stared blankly.  Erika said, "I think this is a different Bill, 
Jeff."

        I nodded firmly.  "Bill goes to a Baptist church and..."

        "I went out with a BAPTIST?"  Jeff gagged, ran into the 
kitchen, and started washing his mouth out.  I couldn't believe it.  
Jeff doesn't normally freak like this.

        Michelle stood up, grabbed an empty Coke can, crushed it, and 
hurled it at Jeff's head.  "Bill Gray, not Bill Anderson, you moron!"  
The can shot off Jeff's head, then bounced into the recycling box by 
the sink.  "Two points!"

        We all applauded and Jeff took his head out of the sink.  "Who 
the hell is Bill Gray?"

        "A REALLY cute business major,"  Megan said.  "I can see why 
Alex would want to smooch him, even if I don't go for guys."  
Megan went out with Leslie for a while, which is how I met her.  I 
think they broke up because Megan wouldn't get her nose pierced.  
"How long have you been dating?"

        "We are NOT dating!"  I shouted.

        "Uh huh,"  Erica said.  "Admit it.  You're out of the closet now, 
baby."  She grinned.

         "I heard you had mad passionate sex at TGIFridays with some 
girl named Irene,"  Michelle said.  "Is it true?"

         "I bet the three of them are having menage-a-trois behind 
our back!"  Frank said, grinning.

         I put my head on the table.  "I did not have mad passionate 
sex at TGIFridays with Irene."

         "But did you invite Bill?  That's the real question,"  Erica said, 
laughing.

         "I haven't had mad passionate sex in months,"  I said, sighing.  
"I'm not dating Bill.  I'm not dating Irene.  I am gonna strangle 
Leslie, though."

        "Kinky,"  Michelle said.  "I didn't think you were into that."

        "Can we get back to the game and forget about my love life, 
okay?"  I was starting to get mad.  

         Jeff said, "Wait...Bill Gray?  The business major guy who never 
takes his suit off?"

         "No, Elvis,"  I said.  "Yeah, Bill Gray.  I kissed him because he's 
cute and I felt like kissing a guy and I wanted to let him down 
easy.  Now can we FORGET ABOUT IT?"  I gave him one of my best 
bellows.

         Jeff simply frowned slightly, back to his usual inscrutable 
self.  "Anyway, did I get splattered, Erica?"

         "Imagine the sound of one hand clapping...a grenade to the 
inside of your skull.  Better hope your medical insurance is paid."

         After the game, Megan came over to me and said, "I'm sorry, 
Alex. I shouldn't have blabbed."

          I sighed as I gathered up my stuff.  "It happens.  Don't worry 
about it."

         "Anyway, don't let them scare you off if you like the guy.  He 
wouldn't be my type even if I liked guys, but he's an okay guy.  He 
gave me a ride to Midland-Odessa one time after my car broke 
down and I desperately needed to go home."

        "You know him that well?"  I was surprised.

        "He's a math minor.  He tutored me one semester, and I 
tutored him for his intro philosophy course.  Anyway, I gotta go!"

        "See ya."  I hopped in my clunker and drove home.  It's a 
piece of junk Malibu Classic '76, but it gets me where I need to go, 
and I replaced the radio with a nice radio-CD player combo.  I put 
on Chariots of Fire and drove back to the dorm.  Erica and Michelle 
share an apartment off campus, and that's where we play.

        I took the car home and dropped off my stuff.  There was a 
note from Leslie, 'Going to get so wasted I can't move, then pass out 
somewhere, possibly with someone.  Try not to die in my absence.  
Your Pal, Leslie.'  This was about par for the course.

        I stifled a yawn.  Can't get tired, not now.  I plinked through 
the mirror, hoping I wasn't going to walk into the middle of their 
game.  I should have called, but did I think of that?  No, of course 
not.

        It didn't make a difference.  Only Angel and Harry were there.  
And Mr. Bear.  Harry was saying to Angel, "We're going 
somewhere?  At this hour?"

         "Howdy."  I said nervously.  "You ready, Angel?"

         She jumped.  "How did...oh yeah."  She laughed, then said, 
"Okay, Harry, we have to blindfold you."  Her voice was a little 
tense.  I hoped she wasn't having second thoughts.  My brain was 
too incoherent for second thoughts.  

         Harry got big eyes.  "Blindfold me?"

         I came over and sat down.  "Well, I could poke out your eyes, 
instead, but..."

         He twitched.  "That's a joke, right?"

         "Just close your eyes, and let us guide you, okay?"  Angel said.  

         He closed his eyes, and I led him and Angel into the mirror, 
and through the world of mirrors, praying I remembered the route 
and wasn't about to step out into Queen Teleute's bedroom or 
something.  

          It was the right place.  The hunting lodge was pretty small, a 
two story box with a large open two story great hall in the middle.  
The left side had the kitchen on the bottom, and a storage room 
over it.  The right side had guest quarters on the bottom and the 
master suite on the top.  The middle was a huge hall for feasting, 
with a really humongous fireplace and a larger pit for firewood.  
Several nice tapestries lined the walls, along with the large mirror 
we had just stepped out of.  One of them caught my eye.  It was of 
a blue haired woman with deep brown eyes standing in the middle 
of the mists of creation, which were fading around her and 
becoming a forest of trees blowing in the wind.  Golden leaved trees 
with silver bark.  Tanya's mother, Duchess Silverwind.   She looked 
like some sort of goddess in the tapestry.  Perhaps she was.  You 
could create entire nations from whole cloth if you had enough will 
and a clear vision when you entered the mists.  Where do they 
come from?  Do they have souls?  Normally I don't worry about 
such things, but usually it doesn't confront me as starkly as this 
tapestry did.  It disturbed me.

       Harry said, "Can I open my eyes yet?"

       Angel giggled almost hysterically.  "Not yet.  Watch your step."  
She laughed again, as we guided Harry towards the stairs up to the 
Master Suite.  I could feel my heart speeding up.  The moment of 
potential disaster was coming.  Angel and I had planned this, but 
the problem with Angel's plans is that when they go wonky, we 
both tend to panic because we relied on it too much.  And they 
usually seem to go wonky.  

         The master suite had three rooms:  a very nicely furnished 
parlour, a bathroom with all the luxuries you could want, all 
provided by magic, and a huge bedroom with a bed large enough 
for six or more.  It had reddish-gold satin sheets and eight pillows.  
The walls were a simple green in color, except for one tapestry of a 
hunting party pursuing a white stag. One corner held a very large 
wardrobe which almost qualified as a room itself.  

        We led Harry over to the bed and sat him down, then each sat 
down on one side of him.  "Okay, open your eyes, Harry,"  I said.

        He did, looking around.  "Hmm.  Not bad.  Where are we?"  

        "Irene loaned us one of her family's hunting lodges so we 
could have some privacy with you,"  Angel said.

        Harry said, "Pretty nice.  Why'd you make me close my eyes, 
though?"

        I grinned.  "So you wouldn't know where to run."  I stuck my 
tongue out at him.  "When we have our way with you."  I tried to 
sound seductive and regretted it.  My voice can't do sexy.

        Harry got big eyes, and Angel leaned over and purred at him, 
"We decided that best friends share everything.  You don't mind, do 
you?"

         I could almost hear his brain shorting out.  "Uh...er...are you 
sure this is a good idea?  I mean, I don't mind, but I'm not sure if I 
can...uh..."  He wasn't running away, though, although his arms 
flailed around a bit.

         I slipped an arm around him, while Angel put a hand under 
his chin and guided his head closer to hers.  "Is that a yes or a no?"

         "You...you're serious?"

         "Well, it's this or Alex and I will have to make out, instead."  
She laughed, a little frighteningly.  Her voice was tense, but I 
couldn't tell what she was tense with.  Fear?  Desire?  Confusion?  
All of the above?

         Harry looked back and forth at us.  "I guess you finally told 
her?"  he asked me.

         "Yeah."

         "I'm so confused from all these...impulses, I didn't know what 
to tell her, Harry."  Angel took a deep breath.  "I know I love you.  I 
know I care deeply for Alex, but I can't tell if I really feel for her 
like she feels for me or if it's just my brain going crazy.  But I know 
what she feels for us is real, 'cause she's not going crazy, and so 
we..."  She frowned.  "This all made sense before, but now it's 
running between my fingers."

          "Harry, how...do you feel about me?"  I asked.

          "Well, part of me wants to grab you right now and throw you 
down on the bed and make love to you until I pass out," he said 
quietly, clenching his hands together into a weird shape.  I couldn't 
figure out what he was doing.  "But part of me thinks rushing into 
something like this is a bad idea.  Because part of me wants Tanya 
too, and part wants to seduce just about every woman I'm seeing.  I 
like you, Alex, and I'm getting to like you more and more, but I'm 
afraid my hormones are speaking louder than my heart.  I just...I 
feel like if I give into this once, I'll do it again.  God, I hate not 
being able to trust my own instincts."  

         Angel was shaking.  "I know what you mean, Harry.  I 
nearly...When I drifted off in the middle of that fight with the 
dragon, I was thinking about Thomas in a bathing suit and..."  She 
blushed.  "And you and..."  She closed her eyes.  

         I started to pull back.  I wanted to howl with frustration, but 
I knew they were right.  Maybe in a few months....I didn't want to 
wait a few months.  I tried to figure out how to say something 
helpful.  "I understand."

          "If you kissed me, Alex, I'd just lose it,"  Harry said.  "And I 
want you to kiss me.  I wanna do the right thing...but I want you so 
bad.  And Angel.  And...I should get up and go, but I don't want to 
leave badly enough.  I don't want to control myself, but..."

         The noble thing to do would have been to bow out and let 
them slake their passion with each other.  I wish I was that noble.  
I need love too, and I needed them.  I would never in a million 
years have tried to manipulate them into bed with me if they 
hadn't said they wanted it.  At least, I hope not.  I'm human.  I was 
tempted, and I botched it.  I leaned over and kissed Harry with 
every ounce of passion I could muster, and I can muster a lot of 
passion.  For just a second, he went utterly stiff, then he returned it 
with almost as much passion.  Angel latched onto him as well,  her 
hands going very places you don't normally visit on another 
person's body unless they are your lover.

          I won't go into details.  A lady never tells, and sex is rather 
more interesting to do than to hear about anyway.  I'll just say that 
I've had a lot more technically proficient lovers, but Linda was the 
only one who could match them for making me feel good 
afterwards.  I slept well for once, and only woke up when the bozos 
with the swords showed up.  Naturally, this happens when we're 
unarmed AND butt naked.  Story of my life.  At least they waited 
until the next morning.

**************

Epilogue:

        Splinter was used to frustration, but now she was achieving 
new and exciting levels of it.  Her mother knew nothing about the 
legend the old boggart had told her, which she suspected he had 
made up on the spot.  Trying to run around Arcadia and make it to 
her classes was starting to drive her nuts.  The Seelie were refusing 
to release Opal.  They wouldn't even let her see Opal.  

         She was pacing around the walls of Kaltenburg, contemplating 
trying to break Opal out of the Palace of the Stars, when a withered 
old hag, an old purple troll with a twisted beak of a nose, clad in a 
tattered old red robe, clutching a gnarled walking stick which she 
leaned on for support, approached her.  The hag had bright silver 
eyes that were about twenty times prettier than any other part of 
her body.  "Begging your pardon, Princess Splinter, but I've come to 
ask you for a boon."

        Splinter was so surprised she nearly toppled off the wall.  No 
one ever called her Princess, even though she was one.  After all, 
the Queen was her mother, but she didn't get even get announced 
as a princess on formal state occassions.  Lady Splinter seemed to 
be the best she could do.  "What can I do for you, madam troll?"

        The troll wobbled a bit, and tried to curtsey, nearly falling 
down.  "A bird stole my magic spinning wheel and I can't make 
gold anymore to support myself.  I understand you can turn into a 
falcon, and I was hoping you can get it back.  I don't climb too good 
with my old arthritic body."

        I don't have time for this, she thought.  I'm not an errand girl 
that everyone can send running after this missing thing and that.  I 
have to figure out some way to find those damn magic items.  She 
opened her mouth to give an angry reply, then saw the look in the 
troll woman's eyes.  She looked desperate.  She's counting on me, 
Splinter realized.  If I don't do this, no one will.  But I don't have 
time to...She sighed.  It's my duty as a princess.  She put on her 
most regal face and said, "I will help you.  Lead me to where it stole 
it from you and I will try to find it, but I warn you that it may not 
be easy to track down this bird."

        "Damn thing robs me all the time.  I know exactly where it 
lives, I just can't get up there."

         It took most of the day for Splinter to ride out to the 
mountainside where Trella the Troll lived.  There was a bridge 
crossing over a chasm between two mountains, and she lived in a 
cave right under one side of the bridge.  She pointed to the far 
peak.  "Damn old raven lives up there.  He took my spinning wheel, 
my hat, and my cards so I couldn't even play solitaire."

          Splinter smiled faintly.  She tethered her horse, Obsidian, a 
black mare, to the old stone bridge.  "No problem."  The mountain 
was tall, but not impossibly so.  She concentrated and assumed her 
hawk form.  She had learned it a long time ago, so it came naturally 
to her, although the changes in her senses still confused her at time.  
Taking to the air, she headed towards the mountaintop, relaxing in 
the pleasures of flight.  By the time she neared the peak, she could 
spot a huge nest on a small flat area near the peak.  It must have 
been close to fifty feet across.  

        There must be an entire rookery living here, Splinter thought.  
Or is it a murder?  No, that's crows.  And a parliament of Owls.  She 
smiled faintly, having attended the Parliament of Owls, once.  The 
nest was riddled with treasures and trinkets.  There was a golden 
bejeweled helm, and a long sword with a black rune-carved blade 
that made her nervous.  Four finely made muskets with matching 
rapiers lay next to a set of three glowing gems, one red, one blue, 
and one white.  A purple lava lamp, half of a model train set, a 
bright pink spinning wheel, a butter churn with glowing runes, six 
hats, ranging from a baseball cap to a small 'mountain' with a 
stuffed squirrel mounted on it, a deck of hand painted cards, a 
stuffed cow, and a dozen other tacky nicknacks sat next to jeweled 
vases, three golden statues of angels, and a beautiful hand mirror 
with a golden frame and small gems along the edge of the glass, 
forming a spectrum of colors.  The back of the mirror was 
embossed with the silhouette of a human or possibly a seelie male.  

        Splinter assumed her human form and gathered up the cards, 
the spinning wheel, and what she hoped was the right hat.  She 
glanced over at the mirror.  Maybe that's the mirror of the Fall 
King.  Oh yeah, some raven's got it in his treasure horde.

         Wait a second...how the hell did a RAVEN get all this stuff up 
here?  The spinning wheel was pretty lightweight.  It felt like balsa, 
almost, but it was still way too big for a raven to carry, especially if 
he was stealing a hat and a deck of cards at the same time.  Or that 
golden helm, or the sword or...

        The sun suddenly winked out.  Splinter blinked and looked up.  
The sun hadn't gone out, but a seventy-five foot wingspan raven 
was blocking the sun as it closed in.  "THIEF!"  it screeched.

         Splinter's heart nearly stopped.  Raven, she thought.  THE 
Raven.  No one knew Raven's origin for sure, or that of the other 
'Animal Lords' as they were called.  He might have been created by 
the belief of humans and escaped the Lands of Legends.  He might 
have inspired those legends.  Some tales claimed he was a phooka 
who had gained surpassing might by performing the legendary 
'Rite of Enlightenment'.  Only a few things were known for sure.  He 
could take on the form of any faerie breed that walked upon the 
ground or flew, but not those of fire or water.  He was supremely 
cunning, a lier, a trickster, and a thief.  Despite the fact that he stole 
virtually everything he owned, he HATED thieves.  And he had an 
ego big enough to house fifty ogres.

        Splinter had only a few seconds to think as he closed in.  "My 
lord Raven, I apologize for entering without asking your leave."  
She gritted her teeth, and feel to her knees in a gesture of 
submission.  "For you are the lord of the sky and I did not realize 
that this was your new home.  It was my understanding that you 
dwelt in a great castle built of clouds.  My apologies."  She spoke as 
unctously as she could.  It made her want to smash her skull into 
the ground for real.  She hated grovelling with a passion, but she 
knew she didn't have the strength to fight him.  

         Raven landed nearby and eyed her suspiciously.  "Do I know 
you?  You look familiar."

         "I am Splinter, daughter of Teleute, oh great Lord Raven of 
the glossy feathers and far seeing eye.  I came here chasing some 
thief who has eluded me.  It seems he has deposited his plunder 
among your possessions.  I assumed this must be his residence, but 
I see I was mistaken.  I will go now."  She got up and began to go.  
This had better work, she thought.

        He hopped over and eyed her sideways.  "A thief you say?  I 
hate thieves.  What did he steal?  What did he look like?"  He 
looked around his nest.  "Bring me my magic mirror.  I'll find him."

         She tensed.  This trick was working a little too well.  She 
brought the mirror over to him.  "Here you go."

         Raven cocked his huge head to look into the mirror.  "Okay, 
let's see...Mirror, mirror on the wall...no, that's not it.  Neptune...no, 
that's not it.  Am I supposed to invoke Amaterasu?  Oh, right.  
Mirror of Ali Baba, show me the thief that stole the items that Lady 
Splinter is looking for."

         Nothing happened.  He frowned.  "Mirror of whatever you are, 
SHOW ME THE THIEF THAT STOLE THE ITEMS THAT LADY 
SPLINTER IS LOOKING FOR!!!"  Still nothing.

         "Baah, it must have run out of magic."  He frowned.

         "Shall I put it away now?"

         He nodded.  "Anyway, what did the thief leave here?"

         "A spinning wheel."  That's the important thing, she thought.  
She can do without the hat and the cards...best not to press my 
luck.  I ought to try to make off with the mirror...no, it's his.  He 
probably stole it, but I shouldn't take it.  I don't want to be a thief 
like him.  I'm sure it wouldn't just be lying around, anyway.  "The 
poor old hag needs it to earn money for food.  She would have come 
up the mountain to beg your assistance in catching this thief but 
she is too old to climb the mountain nor can she fly like an eagle, as 
you do.    Many a time she has seen you soaring over the peaks and 
admired your grace."  Splinter smiled.  Maybe I should lay it on a 
little thicker.

         "Take it with my grace, and tell her I will be happy to help 
her should the thief return.  She need but shout my name.  So how 
is your mother doing?"

          Splinter chatted with Raven a while, and he even flew her 
down to the bridge, then soared off.  The old troll hobbled up from 
the cave.  "You got my spinning wheel!  But how did you..."

         "Everyone likes to be praised.  I didn't think I should press 
my luck with the hat and the cards."  Or the mirror.  She frowned.  
I need that, but...baah.  Being honorable is a pain sometimes.  

          The troll smiled and hugged her.  "You're a dear.  Come on 
down and I'll give you a victory dinner."

          Victory dinner was a foul-tasting stew and some very nice 
ale.  They sat in the smokey, dimly-lit cool cave and ate quietly 
until Trella said, "So where will you be going now?"

          "I have to find someone named Ariel."  With my luck she's 
locked up next to Opal, Splinter thought.

          "And what do you need to be finding her for?"  The troll 
stretched and scratched her back.  

          "Only she knows where to find the Mirror of the King of the 
Fall and the Scythe of the Queen of the Fall.  I need them to save 
my siblings from Martius.  Wherever he is.  But no one knows 
where she is, and my uncle is convinced she hates all us Unseelie."  
Splinter sighed and took a swig of ale.  Maybe I'll just get drunk 
and forget it all for a while.

         Trella's voice was sharp.  "She doesn't hate the Unseelie.  Your 
Uncle is mistaken in that, and many other things."  

         "How would you know?  Uncle would NOT lie to me."  
Although Mother had said she was kind to everyone, but her uncle 
Emerald  had been quite convinced.  

         "I said mistaken.  And I know...because I'm her."  She cocked 
her head.  "So why should I tell you where to find the mirror and 
the scythe?"

          No way, she thought.  This ugly old troll is Ariel?  She 
couldn't keep her hat from being stolen.  "And why should I believe 
you're Ariel?  Anyone could claim that."

          The troll's voice took on a hollow tone and sounded male.  
"Repent your pride and befriend the enemies you have made.  Even 
then, it will not be easy."  She paused.  "You must find the scythe of 
the Queen of the Fall and the Mirror of the King of the Fall.  The 
mirror will find them and the scythe can loose their bonds.  You 
must seek Ariel.  She can lead you to what you need."  She grinned 
and said, "Shall I quote you the third answer you got from Mimr 
too?"

        Splinter stared.  "But...you..."

        "What, you think a troll can't be smart?  Is that it?"

        "I just...somehow I expected..."  Splinter shut herself up before 
she could further anger the only person who could help her.  
"Please.  Help me.  I'm sorry I didn't believe you.  If I don't get 
these items, I can't save my brothers and sisters.  I have to help 
them."

         "They've taunted you and treated you as the little loser baby 
ever since you were old enough to walk.  Why do you care what 
happens to them?"  The troll turned to one wall and picked up a 
pole with a lantern, and started fumbling with it.  

          "Here, I'll do that,"  Splinter said quietly, taking the lantern 
and filling it with oil.  "They're my family, and I love them.  We 
fight, and sometimes they don't treat me very well, but usually I 
deserve it.  And Mother loves them too, and I know it would 
shatter her if she lost them."  She lit the lantern and passed it back 
to the troll.  Ariel, if that was really her, looked uglier in the light 
than in the shadows.  

          "You're thinking I'm uglier in the light than the dark, eh?"  
The troll said, chuckling.

         "I didn't say that,"  Splinter said.  Did I flinch or something?

         "The truth can be pretty ugly sometimes.  Like how your 
mother is planning to kidnap some mortals to trade for Opal.  At 
least they're not just any mortal...but then Glorianna wouldn't trade 
him for just any mortal.  But if the parents of her daughter and of 
her daughter's lover were to be the ones...then she might.  And 
you'd enjoy that, wouldn't you."  Her voice was hard, and her gaze 
accusing.  

         Splinter flinched.  "NO!"  She started to stand up, then sat 
down.  "Yes," she spat out.  "Dammit, I...She...They...He was...I don't 
like it, but to get even with that damn girl...she's just a mortal that 
Glorianna is setting up to be her pawn...aaah, I don't know what I 
think!"

         "How is what your mother is planning to do any different 
from what Martius has done?"

         "Mother is...Opal needs...He isn't...We..."  Splinter felt her 
certainty draining away.  She hadn't even thought about that.  Her 
heart plunged down into one leg.  "It isn't," she said quietly.  "But 
what can I do about it?  I can't disobey Mother."

        "You can warn them."

        "They won't listen to me.  Seelie never trust Unseelie."

        "It will be their own fault for being stupid.  If you act in good 
faith and the other person suffers loss through failure to trust you, 
they bring their doom upon their head."

         "If you know this, why haven't you told them?"

         "Glorianna chooses to no longer listen to me."  Ariel sighed.  
"People often do not wish to know the truth."

        "But you think she'll listen to ME?"  Splinter was incredulous.  

        "Probably not, but there is more than one way to skin a fox.  
You are a princess and I am not.  You can find a way, if you're 
willing to try."

         "You...really think so?"

         "I know.  I did not save your life so you could throw it away, 
Splinter.  You can run hither and fro, letting others tell you what to 
do and wasting your potential on petty rages and revenge, or you 
can take control and be a true Queen.  But I warn you, it will not be 
easy."   She stared intently at Splinter.  "Can you do what must be 
done?"

        "I'll do anything to save my siblings and my love."  Splinter 
said.  "Even if I have to die."  She stood up.  "Please help me.  I 
must have the mirror.  I must.  Please tell me where to find it."

        "The road will not be easy.  Mimr spoke the truth.  You must 
humble yourself and mortify your pride, or it will destroy you.  
Only your enemies can help you, and you them.  If you are not 
reconciled to them, you will both be used as pawns and broken 
when the game is through."  She put a clammy hand on Splinter's 
shoulder.  "Already your lover is caught in the snares set for him, 
snares within snares, traps within traps.  If he jumps out of the 
dragon's mouth, he will only land in the cookpot."

        "I...I will do what I must."  Though I don't know how, she 
thought.  

        "Be true, Splinter."  The troll lifted her lantern and let its light 
shine on the back of the cave.  A mirror sat on a shelf, similar to 
the one she had seen in Raven's nest.  In fact, it looked identical.  
"There is the mirror.  Take it and find your siblings.  May the Lord 
of Heaven guide you in your quest and help you know what you 
must do."

         She hesitantly picked it up.  "How do I use it?"

        "It would work better for your lover, but you too can use it.  
Simply gaze upon it and ask it to show you what you seek.  Just 
remember, the mirror always shows the truth, even if you don't 
like it.  A person's reflection in it shows their true self.  And it may 
misunderstand your request if you base it on some falsehood."  The 
troll smiled, showing yellowed teeth.  "Farewell, Splinter."

         Splinter said, "Farewell.  Thank you."  She walked out of the 
cave, staring into the mirror.  "Show me what I need to find my 
siblings."  She didn't like some of the things she saw.

         The troll stood and watched Splinter ride off on her horse, 
then relaxed her will and let the realm dissolve away into the 
mists.  Inserting it this close to Kaltenberg had been a challenge.  
She shrugged off her troll body and assumed her more usual one, 
shaking the dust out of her long blonde hair.  Only her eyes 
remained the same, and the lantern.  "So like your sister, and yet 
unlike," she whispered to herself.  "I am sorry I cannot do more for 
you, but I am merely an emissary."  She turned and strode off into 
the mists.   There were more messages to deliver, and no rest for 
her.