Prologue:

	There are ten simple rules which, if followed, will ensure you 
survive to a ripe old age.  Rule 5 says, "If there's a local legend about
an axe murderer killing people at the abandoned camp, don't go there with your 
friends to smoke pot and make out."  Jimmy Kurgan had never been very 
good at obeying rules.  

	Everyone has their own way of financing themselves through 
college.  Jimmy's method was to organize parties at an abandoned summer 
camp where he took advantage of his older brother to obtain ludicrous 
amounts of alcohol, and of his contacts around Stephen F. Austin 
university to find something either resembling a band or a DJ.  While not 
the greatest parties ever invented, they easily met the university's need for 
somewhere non-fraternity members could get wasted, pick up members of 
the opposite sex, make out, take drugs, and pass out.  

	Perhaps Jimmy could be forgiven for forgetting rule number five 
because he had thrown six parties at the site without anyone getting cut in 
half by an axe murderer.  They were fun parties, if you didn't mind the 
smell of vomit, anyway.  And they were cheap.  The cops never busted 
the parties; Jimmy didn't know why and chose to not worry about it.

	The seventh party went rather differently.  It started when fog 
rolled in around ten pm.  East Texas is not noted for fog, but this didn't 
bother people; it gave the party, which was a Halloween party, the proper 
air of mystery.

	Then the screaming started.  Jimmy was an irresponsible bastard 
who had left a trail of ruined lives in his wake.  But he wasn't a complete 
monster, sometimes, and so he ran to investigate; it was HIS party, and he 
wanted everyone to have fun, not get hurt.

	There was nothing left of Mary Kramer but a severed head.  Jimmy 
felt sick; he'd dated her, and even though she wouldn't put out often 
enough so he had to dump her, he had never hated or even disliked her.  
"Oh shit, Mary..."

	Then there was another scream, and another, and total panic.  
People were running everywhere, and through it all, the CD player kept 
going, o/~ There ain't nothing left of my heart o/~.  He heard a loud thump, 
then metal rang on metal, and then there was a rush of warmth and a glow.  
He ran towards it as the screaming grew.  Four people were on fire, 
covered with burning beer.  For a moment, he wondered how beer could
possibly burn, then he threw the punchbowl on one of them, but to
his surprise, it only made matters worse.  In seconds, Bill burned away to
ash as the punch ignited.  It wasn't possible, but Jimmy had always 
been the type to believe what he saw.

	That was enough for Jimmy; he'd tried to help, made it worse, and 
now he utterly panicked.  He screamed, fleeing the howling until finally he 
made it to a small stream, which he threw himself into.  The water calmed 
him down, and he got up, resolving to go back.  Then the wolves plunged 
out of the fog, pausing to howl in unison and snap at him.

	Jimmy had two strong points.  He was a smooth talker.  He was a 
superb runner.  Jimmy leaped over the stream and ran.  The wolves should 
have caught him, but they never quite reached him, constantly snapping at 
his legs and never quite touching them.

	It got worse.  He started seeing ravens in the air, pacing the wolves.  
A few seemed to have tiny figures riding them, waving tiny bows, and 
every once in a while, he felt a pin prick, but he dismissed it; Jimmy knew 
faeries weren't real.  

	Slowly, it got harder to run, his legs seeming to turn to stone, his 
lungs gasping for air.  But he kept going, though the pine forest seemed 
endless.  It felt like he had been running forever under the full moon.  

	The ground began to slope upwards, making it even harder to run, 
and the forest began to thin out.  Every so often, he thought he saw a stag 
through the fog, with a man riding it, a man wearing a horned helmet and 
carrying a spear.  He dismissed it; it couldn't possibly be real...though he 
wasn't willing to stand still and find out.

	The forest finally parted, revealing he was running right towards 
the edge of a cliff.  He could see another mountain a good quarter mile 
away, and a vast drop into the fog.  His only choices were to face the 
wolves (certain death) or jump (almost certain death).  He jumped, and fell 
howling into the mists.  

	One of the pixies riding one of the ravens turned to the other, "I 
think we overdid it."  He had short brown hair and bright blue eyes.

	"Naah,"  Lostraven said.  "The guy deserved it."  Lostraven had a 
muscular figure (for a pixie), long black hair and shiny red eyes.

	"I still think we should have had him haunted by the ghosts of all 
those aborted babies."

	"That sort of thing only works if you know all the fine details,"  
Lostraven said.  "And we don't actually KNOW there was more than 
maybe two of them anyway.  I wouldn't know how to make it clear they 
were his fault, either; it ruins the effect when angry ghost babies deliver a 
long exposition as to why they've come."

	"Good point.  But he won't understand this, either."

	Lostraven shrugged.  "What that bastard did to Wildbriar...He'll 
never be able to go to one of his parties again without wondering if this 
will happen.  I suppose we should make sure the cushions kept him from 
really becoming a smear."

	"We should have just gone into his dreams,"  the other pixie said.

	"That's your answer to everything, Thorn.  I seem to remember 
someone being turned into a Smurf the last time we did that."

	Thorn stuck his tongue out at Lostraven.  "At least I didn't end up 
as a stuffed toy like you!"

	The people at the party, none of whom were really dead, 
eventually found Jimmy face down in the trunk of his car.  He didn't speak 
for three days, and he never was quite the same after that.

*************

The Summer People

Chapter 15:  Mission Impossible

By John Biles

***************

Harry said:  

       My idea was to see if we could trade Opal and some other prisoners 
for our parents.  The idea of trying to break into the Queen of the Unseelie 
Fae's palace struck me as reasonably suicidal; I had only a vague idea of the 
defenses of the Palace of the Stars, but everyone assured me it's very hard 
to break into.  Angel was pretty dubious about that; Martius got into her 
bedroom without any trouble.  He's tougher than the average bear, though.

       The problem was that Teleute wouldn't go for it.  She'd trade one of 
Alex's parents for Opal, but as for the rest, she basically told us that 'you 
wouldn't have them if they hadn't failed me, and you're sparing me the 
effort of locking them up myself'.   This left us with two problems.  First, 
it would still leave my dad and one of her parents prisoners.  Secondly, 
how on Earth was Alex supposed to choose which of her parents to get in 
return for Opal?  I sure couldn't make a decision like that.

        Opal simplified matters for us in some ways and made them worse in 
others.  He offered to pay ransom for one of the captives if we would tell 
him how to find Mimr's well.  Teleute nixed that, however; she wasn't 
interested in ransom.  Her counteroffer was to release the three captives if 
Angel and I would hand ourselves over to her.  While I would risk my life 
for my parents, I'm not brave enough to hand myself over to the Queen of 
the Unseelie for them.  But I felt like I should.  Talking to Mom about it 
was no help; she was so far gone into hysteria I could have been talking to 
a blender.  

        And I couldn't ask Angel to do it; her parents weren't at risk.
Alex, of course, offered to go in her place, but Teleute wasn't really
interested in her.  Which makes me wonder why she bothered to kidnap
Alex's parents.  

	Most of the faeries simply recommended waiting for the next major
war, when more captives would be taken, and exchanges made.  I didn't
think Teleute was going to let us wait that long, and equally importantly,
I didn't want to wait that long.  My dad would never be able to explain a
three year absence, and I couldn't just let him rot.

        I eventually slipped off on my own to think.  There had to be 
something else we could offer; none of the prospects looked very good to 
me.  I needed some solitude so I could think without everyone else 
panicking, shouting, and screaming.

       Wandering, with my thoughts going round and round in tight little 
circles, I finally ended up at the end of a dock, and sat with my pants 
pulled up and my feet dangling in the water.  A merman sat nearby, fishing 
with a rod and reel, which amused me.  It was like imaging a tiger trying to 
catch gazelles with a net.  Well, it made me laugh.  Okay, tigers and 
gazelles don't live in the same areas.  You get the idea.

        He looked over at me and grinned.  "Sometimes, if you're really good 
at something, you start doing things the hard way just so it will be a 
challenge.  I'm Phloor."

        "I'm Harry.  Nice to meet you,"  I said, then turned back to the lake 
and lost myself in thought, listening to the rhythm of casting and reeling
in 
of the line.  

       Maybe I should go to Mimr's Well, I thought.  If I ever needed an 
answer, this is the time.  But I can't riddle my way out of a wet paper 
sack.  And I don't have enough time to be dead.  The thought made me 
laugh.  

      Too bad none of them are Fae, I thought.  Hmm.  I wonder how you 
keep a faerie imprisoned...if they die...okay, I suppose most faeries don't 
have the strength of will to kill themselves just to get out of prison.  Too 
dangerous that something might go wrong.  

      Maybe Angel could do the riddles.  Or Tanya.  Tanya's good at riddles.  
She'd help me out.  Heck, Alex might be good at them.  I ought to ask her.  
I stood up.  "Good luck with the fish."

       "And good luck to you as well," he said.  

        I was pretty sure I was gonna need it.

*************

Angel said:

        Having an old family friend who is a Fetch can be pretty useful.  We 
soon put together an expedition to Mimr's Well.  Harry and I rode with 
Jennifer on Bluey, Alex and Tanya and Thomas rode on Shalrisa.  Helena 
wanted to come, but we just didn't have room for more, so she stayed to 
try and keep all our parents from losing it.  We rose into the skies and 
sailed through seemingly endless sky, trying to retrace Jennifer and Harry's 
first trip there.  

        This went on for hours, with Jennifer becoming increasingly tense and 
frustrated.  She couldn't find it for some reason.  "It must be warded," she 
said.  "Maybe I can't come back because I've already had riddles answered 
or something."  

        It made sense; funky magical places are like that.  "And the mirror 
isn't helping?"

       "It fuzzes.  Another place very powerfully warded."  She swore far 
more than I'm going to repeat.  "Maybe it can only be found on certain 
days."

      "There's got to be a way to do this,"  Harry said.  "There HAS to be."

      "Clapping your hands may save Tinkerbell, but it won't help here,"  
Jennifer said.  "Sometimes, something is just impossible."

      "It can't be!"  Harry said.  "We HAVE to find it!  We have to!"

      "You're going to have to either hand yourself over, or break in,"  
Jennifer said quietly.  "Unless Mimr's Well shows up soon...I wish I'd 
been paying more attention on the route we took.  None of my tracking 
magic seems to help, not that I'm too good at tracking."  She slapped her 
forehead.  "The Questing Crystal!"  She whipped out a short green crystal 
rod, and stared at it.  It began to pulse as she pointed it in various 
directions.  Finally, it began to flash brightly.  "This way."

        "What's that?"  I asked.

        "A Questing Crystal.  You think about who you want to find, and it 
guides you to them.  It even takes you where you need to go to get what 
you need to accomplish your quest.  But it tends to be slow, and mages 
who know the right magics can...well, they can lead you on a wild goose 
chase."  Jennifer said.  "I guess we'll find out if I've been fooled again."

        "Again?"  Harry asked.

        "When I was...looking for my siblings,"  Jennifer said.

        Harry frowned.  "We're keeping you from looking for them."

        "I need your help to find them," she said quietly.  "The longer this 
takes, the more it gets to me, but Mimr told me I cannot succeed without 
your help."  She sounded like the words were being dragged out of her.  "I 
will drag myself by my tongue if I must, to save them."

         "Once we get this straightened out, we'll help,"  Tanya said, then 
sighed.  "There goes this semester."

         "So Martius has them?"  Thomas asked.

         Jennifer nodded.  She started telling us what she knew about where 
he was holding them, which wasn't much, but took a while anyway; she 
tended to ramble and repeat herself.

***********

Harry said:

         This time, following the crystal, we reached the realm of Mimr's 
Well.  Mimr was pleased to have visitors.  "Have you changed your mind, 
Harold?"

          Everyone except Jennifer turned and stared at me for a moment, 
questioningly.  "Angel's going to take a shot at it."  I should.  My dad was 
the one on the line, but I just...my mind doesn't work right for riddles.  If I 
had to solve quadratic equations or mix chemicals for this, I'd be fine, but 
my brain is too linear.  Still, I felt guilty as hell.  Thomas had volunteered; 
he's good at riddles, but Angel wanted to do it, since it was for me and 
Alex.  Which made me feel more guilty.

          Angel stepped forward, tense and nervous.  She was fingering her 
new sword as if she expected to be attacked.  "White and black stand 
sentinel over the meal, often giving of themselves to make it complete.  
What are they?"  I was impressed.  All I could think of were chess pieces.

        "Salt and pepper."  Mimr smiled.  "Two armies face each other on a 
field, equal in number, one to the left, one to the right, each a mirror image 
of the other.  Which one goes first?"

         There was no way anyone could answer that one without just 
guessing, I was sure.  Then I suddenly realized the answer.

         "The White one.  It's a chessboard."  Angel said.  Exactly what I had 
been thinking.  If I hadn't thought of chess just before this, I probably 
wouldn't have gotten it.  

         "Very good.  Your turn."

         The more I watched, the more I was amazed.  I'd never really seen 
Angel do riddles, but she was amazingly good.  Although what amazed me 
more was that Jennifer usually muttered the answer before Angel said it.  

     Back and forth they went, sometimes fast, sometimes slow.  "I was 
born sixteen years ago, but I've only seen four birthdays.  When was I 
born?"  Angel asked.

      Mimr blinked.  He likely would have rubbed his chin if he had any 
hands.  "What time of day?"

      "What day of the year."

       There was a long silence.  "During the Olympic Games?"

       "February 29th.  Leap Day."  Angel smiled.  'First Blood' to her.  

       More riddles.  My brain was starting to hurt.  Thomas had fallen 
asleep apparently, which bothered me, and Alex was fidgeting, breaking 
stick after stick into little bits.  Tanya and Jennifer were sitting next to 
each other, both basically trying to solve the riddles themselves.  Tanya 
was good, but not as good as Jennifer.  They both could have kicked my 
ass.  

       "I bring love to many, yet I slew a god.  What am I?"  Mimr asked.

        Angel blinked.  "What?"

        "I bring love to many, yet I slew a god.  What am I?"

         Jennifer blinked.  Tanya frowned, then whispered something to her 
and Jennifer nodded slowly.  I looked over at Angel, who just stared 
blankly.  "I...I...I don't know."

         "Mistletoe,"  Tanya blurted out.  "Used to slay Baldur in the old 
myth.  And now people kiss under it."

         "One and one,"  Mimr said.  

          The riddling continued, deeper and deeper.  "Tangled and thorny I 
am, attacking intruders with all my might, yet some call me refuge.  Who 
am I?"  Mimr asked later on.

         "A briar patch.  I am a Dog.  My eldest sister is a Rat, and my other 
sisters are a Rabbit and a Cow.  How is this possible?"  Angel asked, 
grinning.

         "You're talking in terms of the 'Chinese Zodiac'," Mimr said.  "As I 
was going to Saint Ives..."

         Angel interrupted him.  "I know that one.  Just one person."

         Mimr laughed.  "Had to try."

         "In what two places can one only go a single direction?"

         "The North and South poles.  Any direction away from either  is the 
same compass direction."  Mimr paused.  "How do you destroy a hole?"

         "Fill it.  I spin three times as I circle twice.  What am I?"
She got this one from me a long time ago; It's an astronomy thing.

         Mimr blinked.  "Hrm."  There was a long silence.  "I don't know."

	"Mercury spins three times in the time it takes to circle the sun
twice," Angel said.  

	"Right.  How may one be bound without a single rope, chain, or
handcuff?"

           "Encased in cement,"  Angel said.  "And fed to the fishes, I 
suppose."

           He blinked.  "Hmm.  There is that.  Although I had another answer 
in mind, that also fits the clue."

         "What is made from darkness, but destroyed from it, only to rise 
again when darkness departs?"  Angel asked.  

          Mimr thought.  This took a while.  Thomas began humming the 
Jeopardy theme until Tanya forcibly silenced him.  "A shadow," he finally 
said.

           She nodded.  "Yours."

           "What sort of hole is not empty?"

          "A donut hole,"  Angel said after some thought.  "What flies without 
wings?"

          "A cloud.  Who carried the world on his shoulders?"

          "Atlas.  How many licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?"

          Mimr blinked.  "A what?"

          "Had to ask."

***********

Angie said:

         We riddled and riddled and riddled.  It was hard.  Really hard.  I ran 
out of the ones I knew and had to make them up on the fly, and after a 
while, I was starting to be sure that wasn't good enough.  So, I was 
fortunate that I got a break for dinner, because then I got my best idea.  At 
least I hoped it was my best one.  Afterwards, I said, "I have two faces, 
yet you can only see one of them, even when the other one is looking 
straight at you.  Who am I?"

         Mimr frowned.  "Janus?"

         "The moon.  When the far side faces the Earth, it is always dark, so 
we can only ever see one side of the moon."  I gave a great sigh of relief.  I 
had won, although only because he had basically given me the point earlier.  

          "Not quite so good a game as your friend gave me," he said, "The 
more riddles the better, I always say.  Still, you may drink from the well 
to see visions of the future, or ask three questions."

           "What's the best way to rescue Harry's Dad and Alex's parents 
from Teleute's castle?"  

          "Send the Wild Hunt.  Not even Teleute can stop it and it doesn't 
HAVE to kill its targets."

          It made sense, but..."We can't wait that long!"

          Mimr would have shrugged if he could, I'm sure.  "Next."

          "What's the best way to rescue them NOW without waiting for 
Beltaine?"

           "You must draw Teleute out of her realm.  While she sits within 
Kaltenburg, she can thwart your every effort to rescue the ones you care 
about.  Once she has departed, you can sneak in and try to save them any 
of a thousand different ways.  But you must remove her, or she will know 
the instant you enter her realm, for she is watching for you with her Pillar.  
And both you and your lover must go, not send others in your stead.  Only
you two can do it."

           I nodded.  The hard part was trying to think of a way to draw 
Teleute out of the realm.  I went over to everyone.  "Should we ask what is 
the best way to lure her out of her realm?"

         "Yes,"  Alex said.  "'Cause I sure don't have a clue."

          Tanya frowned.  "I'm not sure what could make her leave.  You'd 
best ask him."

          "She has a craving for elderberries and chocolate sometimes, I've 
heard,"  Bluey offered.  This didn't seem a likely line for us to follow 
though, unless one of us had a secret 'give Teleute the munchies' affinity.

         "Well, I could grow a really big hedge...hey, maybe we could get a big 
army of Ents and do a 'Isengard' on it,"  Harry said.  "There's got to be a 
Middle Earth legend realm."

          "She'd freeze them to death,"  Jennifer said.  "But an army...a large 
enough attack on one of the border fortresses might draw her out."

         "Ahah!"  Shalrisa said.  "I could impersonate one of her children and 
send a 'Help, save me' message.  By the time she arrived, I would be long 
gone, but while she was looking, the rest of you could break in and get 
your parents."

         Tanya laughed.  "You could do a Splinter impression.  But how to 
make sure she comes?"

         "I have some skill with magical disguises, as Harry has seen,"  
Jennifer said.  "I could pose as one of them, and Shalrisa could pose as 
Martius, since he is an old enemy of hers.  That would bring her running if 
anything would.  For us to get away from her will be trickier, but all we 
need is a mirror."  She sounded very nervous; who could blame her?  This 
plan was going to be risky, if we used it.

          "Perfect,"  I said.  I walked back to Mimr.  "And for my third 
question...What is the best way to rescue Jennifer's siblings?"

          I heard Jennifer gasp.  Harry and Tanya both muttered something, 
and I heard Bluey gasp too.  Mimr looked levelly at me.  "Are you sure 
you want to know?"

         "Yes!  I wouldn't have asked!  Why wouldn't I want to know?"

         "A rarity," he said.  "Few have...anyway.  The mirror can guide
you past his illusions.  The sword can defeat his guardians.  The scythe
can cut their bonds.  And the horn can force the changing of the seasons,
throwing his fortress into chaos to shield your escape.  But each must be
wielded by the one for whom it was made, or all will come to naught.  And
he too must be lured away, for a faerie lord within his fortress is nigh 
undefeatable.  Enemies must end their feud, and the truth must out.  The 
time for masks passes."

         Alex said, "What the HELL does all that mean?"

         "That is your answer.  Good luck."

         "That's vague as hell!"  she shouted.

          "Would you riddle with me for some clarifications?"  Mimr asked, 
grinning.

          "Hell y..."  I clamped a hand over her mouth, which wasn't easy, as 
she was starting to transform.  

          "We know some of what these are, Alex.  It has to be the sword I 
have, and the mirror Jennifer has, and ...uhh..."

          "The King of the Spring's Horn.  Which is probably Harry if you're 
the Queen,"  Jennifer said quietly.  "And the Queen of the Fall's Scythe.  
Which we might be able to find since we have the mirror."  She stared at 
me.  "Why?"

          I blinked.  "Why what?"

           "You used your third question for me."

           "Well, I'd gotten the answers I really needed, and if we're gonna 
rescue your siblings, we needed to know the best way how."  I looked at 
her.  She looked worried, and shocked, and a little confused, although I 
wasn't sure why she felt any of those things.  "And you've proven you're a 
friend, Jennifer, even if we started off not so well the first time I met you."

           She began to cry more tears than I thought anyone could have, 
though she wouldn't say why.  I supposed that meant she didn't have 
many friends.  That's a mean thing to say, I know, but I couldn't think of 
another reason.  I thought it might just be stress.  I put a hand on her 
shoulder.  "Don't cry."  It's one of the most useless things in the world to 
say, I know, but I had no better ideas.  "You might melt."

         She laughed a little through her tears.  "I just...I just don't 
understand."

          Bluey suddenly turned into a blue cow and mooed.  Jennifer looked 
over at her, blinked, and laughed.  So did most of the rest of us.  Then 
Bluey turned back to her ice drake form.  That seemed to snap Jennifer out 
of it.  She stood up.  "Let's make our plans and get going.  Time is passing 
and we...we have much to do." 

         Thomas frowned.  "How are we going to lure Martius out?"

         "We'll figure out something."  I then remembered something I had 
meant to ask, turned to Mimr and asked, "Why is this place so hard to 
find?"

         "Only those whose need is great may find me, and even then, each 
person can game with me but once in all their life.  Many a faerie has 
sought me unavailing because, in some long time ago which he has 
forgotten, he or she had already found me.  Fare well upon your quest, 
Angela Bedos-Rezak."

         And so we rode forth.

***********

Harry said:

	Sometimes I have brilliant ideas.  Although they often turn out to 
be not so brilliant.  As we were flying back to the palace, Thomas said, 
"Too bad we don't have my halfling's Amulet of Proof Against Detection 
and Location.  That would make our job a LOT easier."

	"Hmm.  The one you got in that magic shop in Celebrin?"

	"Yeah!  The one that had everything but you guys were all broke 
so only I could afford to buy anything," Thomas said.

	"Any chance there might be a land of legend based on our 
campaign?"

	Angel blinked.  "It's not a very big legend with just us four, but..."

	"Six now," Tanya said.  "It's worth a shot.  And with the questing 
crystal, we could find it EASY!"  

	Jennifer blinked.  "Usually, a legend needs a few more people than 
just six to create it spontaneously.  But I suppose it couldn't hurt to look."  
She got out her magic mirror.  "What's this place's name again?"

	"Tiniara's House of Magic in Celebrin," Angel said.  

	"Show me Tiniara's House of Magic in Celebrin!"  Jennifer said.

	The mirror flickered.  At first, there was only fog, but then it 
cleared and we could see the interior of a huge three-story emporium of 
magic, lit by the flickering glows of the many ridiculously priced magical 
items to be bought there.  Angel stared at it.  "It's just the way I always 
imagined it!"  

	"Of course," Jennifer said.  "Your mind played the greatest role in 
shaping it."  She shook her head.  "I suppose this must mean every gaming 
campaign exists somewhere in the land of legends, at least while it is 
remembered.   Or perhaps it is because of you all being faeries."  She 
sounded faintly dubious, like she was trying to convince herself.

	"Never look a gift horse in the mouth," I said.  "Can we get there 
fast enough for it to be worth it?"

	Helena laughed.  "If we land, I can do a little roadweaving and get 
us there quickly if there's any roads.  Or at least get us into the realm."

	"Let's do it," Angel said.

	We soon landed once we found a road, and Helena began to 
concentrate.  We followed her, and the terrain twisted around us, forest 
becoming swamp becoming hills becoming forest again, though now we 
walked through conifers instead of hardwoods.  Great pine trees rose into 
the sky, and we walked through intermixed pools of light and shade on a 
road which had turned from dirt into pure silver.  I was glad I wasn't a 
werewolf.

	"The Silver Road of Geledos," Angel said faintly.  "Which runs 
from Nimeldil to Celebrin.  If we stay on this, we'll get to Celebrin fairly 
quickly."

	We could hear music off in the distance, a hundred competing 
tunes, which should have formed a cacophony, but instead blended into a 
single concerto, the pulse of the distant city.  It hung at the fringe of our 
perceptions, blended with the noises of the forest.  A raccoon ran out of
the trees and started to pull my pants leg.  I laughed.  "Hello there," I said.

	He stood up on his hind legs and got into a begging position.  I 
laughed and tossed him an apple I'd been carrying to snack on later.  He 
took a bite out of it, then said, "Orcs!"

	I blinked.  I didn't remember any talking raccoons in Angel's game 
world.  "Orcs?  Here?"

	"Uh huh.  They're coming."

	Angel blinked.  "Orcs, what?  Why are you talking to that
raccoon?"

	"Uh...because it's talking to me," I replied.

	"There's about twenty of them," the raccoon said, finishing off
the 
apple at high speed.  "Thanks for the apple!"

	I pointed at him.  "He says there's twenty orcs."

	"All he did was squeak," Alex said.

	"Hmm.  Maybe that's your other affinity.  Talking to animals," 
Thomas said.  

	"Show me the nearest orcs," Jennifer said, staring into her mirror.  
A band of about twenty were marching through forest that looked like ours 
near a road that looked like the one we were on.  

	"What are the Orcs doing here?" I asked the raccoon.

	"Making a mess.  Ambushing travelers.  Just what Orcs do best."

	"Thanks for the information.  Which way are they?"

	He pointed ahead of us.

	Tanya squeezed my shoulder.  "Nice talent," she said.  

	"Well, we could just fly by them," I suggested.

	"I say we kick their ass," Alex said, cracking her knuckles.  "Can't 
just leave them here robbing people.  And we can probably get a reward."

	"Just don't ask me to backstab," Thomas said.  "No natural 
twenties for me."  Angel, me, Thomas, and Tanya all laughed while the 
others stared blankly at us.  It's a long story involving a drunk friend.  
"Anyway, we can stomp twenty orcs pretty easily unless they've got a 
shaman with them.  And it might help convince the locals we're 
trustworthy enough to sell us the amulets we want.  Now, here's my idea 
for a plan..."

************

Angel said:

	I wasn't entirely confident about Thomas' plan, especially since 
Alex and Tanya and I had to take the biggest risk, but it was worth trying.  
We had prepared a protection from arrows spell using my air aptitude, 
which I prayed would work.  It was invisible, so the orcs wouldn't notice 
it.  We would walk together down the middle of the road, looking harmless.  
Once we 'baited' the orcs, they would try to shoot us, fail, and then chase 
us back to where the two dragons and everyone else would be waiting.  
They'd probably simply fall down and surrender when they saw the 
dragons.

	Harry and Helena both thought it was a dumb plan, but they didn't 
have a better one.  Alex, on the other hand, was laughing her head off the 
whole time we planned it.  She sauntered along jauntily while Tanya and I 
were both rather more tense.  

	Tanya whispered, "Is she always this gung-ho before a fight?"

	"I haven't been in many fights with her, but in RPGs, she's 
sometimes like this.  Maybe she thinks this is one," I whispered back.

	"Ya wanna whisper any louder?" Alex asked, and we both blushed.  
"I just have confidence in your magic, and Thomas somehow actually had a 
real thought, so..."

	Tanya growled faintly.  

	"Hey!"

	"Okay, he's not a complete idiot, but..."  She glanced off into the 
woods.  "They're about to shoot," she whispered.

	I closed my eyes and prayed and didn't become a pincushion.  I 
opened my eyes, and arrows were being deflected by the dozens by the 
whirling column of air that only I could see.  It had worked.  Giving thanks 
to God, I shouted, "Oh no, it's an invincible band of Orcs!"  It was hard 
not to laugh.

	"Oh my, we must flee for our lives to where we hid our treasure," 
Alex said a little too cheesily, turning to run.

	Tanya simply shrieked and spun on one heel.  We then took off 
down the road.  The horde of orcs soon emerged from amongst the trees, 
giving chase as they drew their swords and axes and maces and spears.

	"It's working!"  Alex shouted.  

	Then I felt magic rushing in on me, and my muscles turned to lead.  
I collapsed, giving a great yelp.  Tanya collapsed as well; Alex got about 
ten yards further along.  The orcs closed in, laughing.  One of them said 
something in Orcish, which sadly, I don't speak.  Then I got clubbed in the 
head.

***********

Harry said:

	Maybe I've played too many paladins, but I didn't like the plan 
Angel came up with.  Not that deceit doesn't have its place, but with two 
dragons on our side, did we REALLY need to risk some of our people 
luring the orcs into a trap?  Well, Shalrisa is really a fetch, but still...

	So when it blew up on us, I wasn't surprised.  I believe every Orc 
Shaman in Angel's game universe was born knowing the 'Hold Person' 
spell.  Okay, I'd be in a better position to talk if I'd thought of it happening 
BEFORE it happened.  When things blew up on us, we went to plan B:  
the berserker charge.

	Not the most rational of actions, I know, but too many people I 
cared about were in danger for me to think rationally.  The same applied to 
Helena and Thomas.  Jennifer, Shalrisa, and Bluey didn't simply charge 
forward shouting when we heard the hapless trio scream, but they quickly 
followed me and my fellow shouters.

	The orcs simply scattered, probably because they saw the dragons 
and didn't feel suicidal.  Shalrisa and Bluey chased them while the rest of 
us first tried to wake up our friends (easy), and break the spell (hard).  
Thomas and Jennifer started having a shouting match over each other's 
inability to break the spell, so I stuck my nose in.  "Is it really this hard to 
free them?"  They couldn't even speak.

	"She TRIED, but she just made it worse!" Thomas shouted in a 
rare moment of losing his cool.  "You can't just wiggle the magical energies 
around until they snap!"

	"Oh, like YOU'RE doing any better!"  Jennifer snapped back.  "I 
remember the time you tried to fix the lights in our auditorium and 
electrocuted yourself!"

	Breaking spells was something I definitely needed to learn.  "You 
have any idea how to break this?" I asked Helena.

	"Not really," she said.  "I'm not very good at much magic beyond 
just my affinities, although I can do some simple fire magic and a few other 
tricks."

	"C'mon, stop fighting," I said to Jennifer and Thomas, but they'd 
both regressed to the tongue sticking out phase.  "Geez, GET OVER IT!" I 
shouted.  "You two are the only ones who can get them out of this spell, 
so unless you wanna carry them like sacks of potatoes, STOP 
FIGHTING!"

	They both looked a little embarrassed, and then started 
cooperating.  Finally, they managed to unweave the spell.  Angel said, 
"Well, I feel stupid."

	"Well, it's not like the rest of us couldn't have thought the Orcs 
might have a Shaman or something," I said.  "They usually do in your 
games, and this is your world."

	Shalrisa and Bluey came back as Angel nodded and sighed.  "Let's 
get a move on."

	Celebrin wasn't what I expected an Elven City to look like.  Since 
Angel had created her game world, not me, this was to be expected, I 
suppose.  For one thing, I just don't think of Elves as favoring bronze, 
especially not to the point of building an entire city of bronze and 
gemstones.  

	Celebrin was a huge circle with a wedge chopped out of it by the 
sea; it's a seaport.  The city was ringed by a huge marble wall with 
watchtowers every thousand feet that looked like lighthouses, right down 
to the beacon, although they weren't on in the daytime.  The streets were 
paved with cobblestones...held together by silver.  The buildings varied 
insanely by style, from peasant hovels (if peasants built their houses out 
of bronze, turquoise, amethysts, and great quantities of quartz) to 
duplexes to townhouses to vast palaces.  There were no street signs, so we 
got lost fast, even with Angel THINKING she knew where we were going.  
Wouldn't ask for directions, either.  Not in a city she had designed.  Thank 
the heavens she didn't go into architecture.

	Don't tell her I said that.  The city was...it reminded me of a 
medieval version of Las Vegas.  The citizens were much more sensibly 
clothed than housed.  They all wore fairly tight styles of clothing, although 
there were quite a few different types.  After a bit of fumbling (I ended up 
dressed like Henry VIII at one point), we altered our clothing to blend in, 
and took on our faerie forms.  Well, some of us did.  Helena, obviously 
enough, didn't do any such thing, Bluey remained a bluebird, Shalrisa 
became a rather impressive duplicate of Lady Silverwind, and Jennifer put 
on her Maid Marian disguise, complete with bow.  And Alex stayed in 
mortal form because we were afraid someone would mistake her for a troll 
and try to burn her.  Sure, she lacked a long pointy nose, but...no point in 
taking chances.  

	After an hour of tromping around, Angel was starting to 
get...irritated.  We all were.  She couldn't remember where the shop was, 
we all knew, but she wouldn't admit.  You see, while Angel massively 
plans out her adventures and her game world, 90% of it exists only in her 
head.  She only writes it down if she needs to be able to show it to people, 
like maps.  Normally, this works well.  Not this time.

	Finally, Flamehair said, "We're lost."

	"We're not lost!  We just passed the Street of the Goldsmiths, so 
Tiniara's House of Magic should be coming up in one more block."  She 
looked around at the crumbling houses around us.  "These houses should 
be in better repair."

	"Should and is aren't the same thing," Flamehair said, sounding a 
little aggravated.  "We ought to ASK someone.  Or use the Questing Stone."

	"She knows where it is," Alex snapped.  "She did create this world, 
you know!"

	Which raised interesting questions about how real all these people 
were and whether they had souls.  Could we actually create life like this?  
What kept lonely people from dreaming up their own girlfriend to order?  
Then again, maybe it happened all the time.  I wondered if our characters 
were around here, and I quickly checked my wallet just to be sure Thomas' 
character hadn't dropped by.  

	"Then I wish she'd create a MAP!" Flamehair snapped back.  
Aquamarine put a hand on his shoulder and nodded at me.

	I said slowly, "I think Thomas is right."

	She frowned.  "Harry."

	"Do you REALLY know where we are?"

	"There aren't supposed to be any slums in this city," she muttered.  

	"Every city has slums," Tanya said.

	"Not Elven cities.  Does the Palace of the Stars have slums?"

	"Okay, not EVERY city has slums, but still...oh, I see.  When you 
designed this city, it had no slums."

	Angel nodded.  "Exactly.  I have a bad feeling."

	This was likely reinforced when arrows started shooting at us from 
every window on the block.  Elves clad all in black opened up from the 
rooftops as well. Most of us got hit by anywhere from two to five arrows,
except for Helena (who was wearing armor), Shalrisa (who turned into a
dragon the second she heard the first twang), Bluey (who did the same
thing), and Thomas (who shot down all the arrows coming at him with fire.)
He's got good reflexes, I guess.

	Being shot up with arrows hurts like hell, I can tell you.  I took one 
in the gut, another in my right arm, and a third through my left shin.  I 
nearly took one in the neck, but it missed by a hair.  I don't know where 
everyone else got shot, because I collapsed screaming from fear and pain.  
Angel and Tanya went down too.  Alex went to Ogre form, and the last 
thing I remember was her jumping onto a rooftop.  A strange lassitude 
took me and I passed out.

***************

Angel said:

	I think the arrows had poison on them.  Otherwise, the pain should 
have kept me awake.  The last thing I saw was Shalrisa setting a building 
on fire and panicked elves jumping off it.  I resolved to learn a quick spell 
to stop arrows as I passed out with arrows in both arms and one stuck in 
my collarbone.

	I woke up feeling weak, lying on a hard bed.  Harry was on another 
bed nearby, and Alex was asleep in a chair by the door.  I woke her up.  
"What happened?"

	"We're at some inn.  The dragons kicked ass; I don't think the Elves 
expected any dragons.  Helena healed everyone, but now she's clonked out.  
Everyone is.  The city gave us a reward for wiping out the thieves' guild, 
though.  We captured one of them...some efreet put a price on our heads.  
A chunk of gold four feet across."

	I boggled.  That was a lot of gold.  "Did we get the amulets?"

	"The Thieves' Guild had stolen them all, and most of them got 
burnt up and frozen by the Dragons.  They used them to sneak up on us in 
case we had wards or something.  Which we didn't."  Alex took my hand.  
"You okay, Angel?"

	"I'm fine."  I blushed a little, and thought about whether two 
people would fit in my bed.  Then I REALLY blushed.  "So no amulets."

	"We have some, but not enough for everyone.  You sure you're 
okay?"

	"I'm fine.  Is Harry okay?"  I went over to him.

	"Yeah, he's fine," she said, then glanced at the two beds.  "Hmm, if 
we pull them together..."

	I blushed more.  "The others might walk in."

	"The door has a lock."  She grinned.  "Hopefully we won't wake up 
and find any Unseelie coming to arrest us this time."

	No one walked in.
  
*********

Harry said:

     	The next day, we assembled our little army at Duke Ironwood's 
fortress.  We spent several hours finalizing our plans; we'd only get one 
chance.  We also spent a while trying to figure out who this efreet could be 
who put the hit on us and how he knew where we were going.  We came to 
no useful conclusions on that.

	We only had enough amulets for five people, which ended up being 
me, Angel, Alex, Thomas, and Tanya.  Helena would go with us only as far 
as the castle, then remain in reserve and out of sight.  We only took her 
because we needed her roadweaving to get us to the castle in a reasonable 
span of time.  Jennifer, Shalrisa, and Bluey departed to make the diversion.  
It was going to be incredibly dangerous, though not as dangerous as what 
we would be doing.  

	In fact, what we were going to do was basically insane.  What we 
really should have done was to send a commando team, but Mimr had 
made it clear that wasn't an option, and Angel believed that she had 
worked out a foolproof plan.  Of course, she usually thinks her plans are 
foolproof, but we can be a pretty impressive group of fools.  So we all 
disguised ourselves as Unseelie as best we could; ideally, we'd be able to 
walk in the front door and then sneak around.  The amulets would keep us 
from setting off any traps set by the Unseelie Queen.  We hoped.

	We had a toy that the Queen gave us; a questing crystal like 
Jennifer's.  It would point towards where the people we wanted were once 
we were close enough.  

      	With Helena's help, it was easy to get close to the castle; a little 
roadweaving did the trick.  Then we had to wait for a message from 
Jennifer and Bluey and Shalrisa; we had no way to find out when the 
Queen left the realm.  

         The message came via a little conjured bird with a message on its leg.  
We had twelve hours at best, maybe less, to do our work, as far as our 
friends could guess.  

         Kaltenburg stands on a huge spine of rock that juts out into the 
middle of a vast frozen lake.  It's a big, dark sprawling castle that's clearly 
been added on to a few dozen times, with towers that look glued on and 
wings jutting off of wings off of wings.  It occupies most of the ridge it 
stands on now, with a huge arcing outer wall guarding where the ridge 
connects to the mainland.  The huge gates were wide open, although we 
were stopped by a guard.  

        There were four guards, ogres dressed in the livery of Teleute, black 
and silver with a white snowflake.  I could see their commander, a two-
headed troll, arguing with some merchant just inside.  We had prepared a 
simple story.  Aquamarine did the talking.  She's a good liar.  "We're 
servants of Lord Fimblesmere.  He sent us with a shipment of lightfish for 
the Queen and a private message."

         He looked us up and down.  We didn't look too much like servants; 
Sidhe aren't noted for playing that role.  We'd used only fairly simple 
mundane disguises as much as we could; we were afraid someone would 
see the magic on magical ones.  I prayed desperately that Queen Teleute 
hadn't put up a wanted poster.  I hadn't even thought of the possibility 
until this moment.  "She's not here to get it."

         "Can we wait?"  Aquamarine asked.  "We can go ahead and unload 
the lightfish now; they won't stay good forever."  We'd picked lightfish 
because Queen Teleute had a reputation for liking them.  And according to 
Glorianna's agents, this one noble sent them to her fairly frequently.

         "Take it to the cellars."  He pointed to a pair of doors off to one side.  
Several other people were hauling barrels through it.

         I couldn't believe he let us in.  But I was never one to look a gift 
horse in the mouth.  Hauling barrels of fish wasn't fun; where Glorianna 
had gotten all these lightfish on short notice, I didn't know, but they 
weighed more than I liked.  Everyone but Alex was breathing hard by the 
time we finished unloading them.  

          While we did this, Aquamarine was using the Questing Crystal.  The 
cellars were largely devoid of life once the other people doing loading 
finished, so we were able to slip up another staircase and into the palace 
proper.  A little change of clothing and we looked like we belonged, as long 
as no one realized we didn't look familiar.  Seelie and Unseelie look exactly 
the same, although some faerie types are more commonly one or the other.  

          The stairs to the dungeon weren't too hard to find, and we managed 
to get down them without being seen.  I whispered to Angel, "This has 
been too easy."

          She nodded.  "I'd rather not wish for it to be hard, though," she said, 
fingering the hilt of her sword.  She looked over at Aquamarine, who was 
mumbling something to herself.  "What are you doing?"

         "Trying to scry for wards.  I'm afraid we may set off some alarms."

          Made sense.  Another thing we needed to learn.  My plant magic 
likely wouldn't be too much use here.  And talking to animals wasn't going 
to help us much here.  Assuming that was my second one.

          We paused on the stairs just before the bottom, and Angel wove an 
air spell into place.  It had worked in our field tests... whether or not it 
would work here was another question, but our plan was counting on it.

          We made it to the first guardpost without any trouble.  Four guards 
were playing cards.  One of them was a Sidhe, the other three were Ice 
Gaunts, who looked like very skinny humans made from ice.

          Aquamarine reached into a pouch and pulled out the magical 
equivalent of a tear gas grenade, a small crystal sphere with roiling gases 
inside it.  Said gases were soon filling the guardpost with nasty gas that 
caused them to sick up, while the small fresh air spells kept us from even 
smelling the gas, let alone be affected by it.  

           It was child's play to subdue them.  Too easy.  The more our plan 
worked, the more paranoid I was getting.  It simply shouldn't be this easy 
to get in and out of a Queen's castle.  On the other hand, Queen Glorianna 
hadn't been able to stop Martius running around at will.  She was strong, 
but not omnipotent.  

          Then we found out why it was so easy.  Taking out the guards was 
simple; getting the doors to the cells open was not.  The guards had no 
keys.  The reason they had no keys was that the doors were locked shut 
with magic.  Elaborate magic.  I could sort of see the lock magic if I 
squinted hard, but I haven't gotten very good at perceiving magical spells 
fixed in place yet, mostly due to lack of training.  

        Hacking at the doors with the magic sword didn't work either, and 
Wildbriar soon discovered that her stone affinity wouldn't work on the 
doors or the wall, which had been heavily stiffened with magic.  We could 
see my dad and Alex's parents through the little windows on the doors, 
although they couldn't see or hear us.  

         Alex's mom looks like Alex, but shorter.  She's pudgy, with long 
black hair that probably looks better when she hasn't been languishing in a 
cell.  She's got soft brown eyes, and she was still wearing an HEB uniform.  

         They locked her up with her husband.  Alex's dad makes her look 
tiny.  He's a solid mass of muscle, a good six foot six at least, starting to 
grey, but most of his hair still brown.  Still in his prison fatigues, he sat on 
the bench on the far side of the cell, which likely doubled as the bed, and 
held her in his lap.  They seemed to be talking.  She kept stroking his chin, 
which was covered with stubble; he should have had more facial hair, I was 
pretty sure, or less.  They must have shaved him only every few days.

         I could feel our clock ticking away.  As everyone bickered on what to 
do, I tried to think about what our resources were.  Two people with 
water magic.  Fire.  Air.  Earth.  My plant magic.  Talking to animals.
A magic fire sword.  Hmm.  Didn't know Tanya's or Thomas's.  So I asked.

         "My second affinity is speaking languages,"  Aquamarine said.  
"Now you know why I got A+ in Spanish in High School."

          Normally useful, but useless here.

          Flamehair blushed and stared at the ground.  "Err...well..."

          "Well, if it wouldn't be useful here, then you don't need to say it."

           "I can't imagine a use for it in this situation," he said, looking 
relieved.

           While this piqued my curiosity, I decided to let it slide.  "Can 
anyone figure out enough to tell how they open this?"

         "Keyed to specific vital signs,"  Aquamarine said.  "If we had 
Shalrisa, she could mimic a guard and probably open it.  I doubt every cell 
is like this; these two have especially well crafted 'locks'.  In fact, I 
wouldn't be surprised if they're keyed to either the Master Jailer or Queen 
Teleute's life signs."

         Angel cursed, and several of us started.  She doesn't swear unless 
she's incredibly mad or incredibly desperate.  "There's not even any 
hinges!  How does this thing swing open?  Surely they're not on the 
inside."

         "Not likely," I said.

          Wildbriar cursed several times and pounded the wall across the 
hallway from the door, which shook.  "DAMNATION!  We can't have 
come all this way and get stopped by a STUPID DOOR!"

          I looked at the wall; it was cracked slightly.  An idea struck me.  The 
outside wall around these cells was stronger...but had they strengthened 
the walls BETWEEN cells?  Clearly the entire hallway wasn't invulnerable.  
"Let's try breaking into the cell next to one of the two cells," I said.  "Then 
we can break through the wall from there, maybe."  I'll get you out, Dad, I 
thought.  

         Aquamarine nodded.  "Makes sense.  We need to hurry, though.  
Sooner or later, someone will show up."

         "Well, assuming we can mirror travel out, we won't have to worry 
about getting past them,"  Flamehair said.  

        "Test it while we do this,"  I said.  "We need to know for sure."

         Our combined abilities broke down the door to one of the adjacent 
cells fairly quickly, although it made enough noise for four break-ins.  That 
would almost certainly make a mess.  

         I'd planned for this, sort of, though.  I threw down some seeds and 
focused as much power into them as I could, whispering, 'Grow'.  And 
they grew.  A wall of brambles now blocked the hallway, and I could part 
it for us if we needed to get out that way.  Anyone else would be slowed 
down just a little.  I felt pretty proud of myself.  

      	Flamehair popped back out of the mirror we'd brought with us; I 
was relieved.  Probably all the mirrors already in the palace were warded, 
but the wards wouldn't stop us using one we had just brought in.  "We're 
all clear."

	The wall to their cell took some effort to break, but with everyone 
going to town on it, it shattered soon enough.  Alex's dad jumped to his 
feet, interposing himself between us and Alex's mom.  He got into a sort of 
pseudo-boxing stance; clearly he had watched boxing, but not really boxed 
himself.  Not that I wanted to fight him any time soon.  My dad simply 
stood up and stared.

	Flamehair said, "Hello, Mr. Cook.  We've come to rescue you while 
Obi Wan shuts down the central shields."  Aquamarine rapped him on the 
head.

	I went over to Dad.  "Hi, Dad."  He stared at me, then I turned 
back to normal, realizing how unrecognizable my faerie form was.  

	Wildbriar stepped forward and dwindled, becoming just normal 
Alex.  Hesitating a moment, she ran forward and hugged him.  "Daddy..."

	"Alex?  What the hell are you..."  Then he realized what she had 
just done.  "What the hell is going on here?"

	Alex's mother stared at her, terrified.  "What...what are you?"

	"These are my friends.  We've come to get you the hell out of Bitch 
Queen Teleute's castle, Dad.  She kidnapped you to get to us."  Alex 
growled.  "I'll get her for that, but right now, we have to get out of here."

	Dad shook his head.  "Charles wasn't so crazy after all, I see."  He 
looked pretty close to going crazy himself; I'd never seen him this haggard.  

	I nodded quietly.  "Yeah."  I hugged Dad; we've never been much 
for physical contact, but this time wasn't quite a...normal occasion.

	Angel stepped forward, assuming her mortal form and running over 
to Mrs. Cook, who looked terrified.  "It's me, Angela," she said, helping 
her up off the bench.

	Mrs. Cook stared at her.  "I don't understand...where are we?  
What was that thing that looks like...where's Alex?"

	Angel frowned, then pointed.  "She's right there with her father."

	"That can't be my daughter...she doesn't turn into some green 
thing."  She sounded faintly hysterical.  I couldn't blame her, but...

	Alex's dad sighed.  "Explaining this to the warden is going to be too 
much fun."

	"We can worry about that later," Flamehair said, holding up the 
mirror.  "Time to run."

	Then the mirror shattered, and a voice echoed through the room.  
"Did you people think I was stupid?  Or that I would leave my bait this 
poorly guarded?"

	The cell we had broken into sealed itself off.  A shimmering image 
of a dark clad Sidhe formed before us...Teleute.  "The Queen and the Land 
are one.  While I cannot observe everything at once, I can choose to spy 
upon any one spot whenever I like, or set wards that no one can find to 
tell me when those I wait for have arrived.  If I hadn't known where you 
were going, your little amulets might have saved you, but even they can't 
defy my will directly focused upon my realm.  You will NEVER get out of 
this cell until I get what I want."

	I had thought that getting her out of the realm would stop her from 
noticing us...unless she had gotten back really quickly.  "Even if you leave 
the realm?"

	"If I had been stupid enough to leave, you might have gotten away 
with this, although I'm surprised Glorianna was crazy enough to let you do 
it.  None of you have the experience to get away with this; she has broken 
people out of here before, but it is not easy.  I would simply have rescued 
those of mine she holds if one could easily defy either of us."  She shook 
her head.  "Still, most of you are useless to me, except for you two."  She 
stared at me and Angel.  "I will come for you soon, once I have decided 
what to do with my errant daughter."  She frowned more intensely.  "I 
think you do not even understand what you have done."

	"Huh?" was my witty reply.

	"She insists you did not know, and I think I believe her.  The world 
can be a passingly strange place," she said.  "I come."  And with that, she 
vanished.

	"Fucking hell,"  Alex said, transforming back into her ogre form.  
Her mother quietly swooned.  She tried pounding on the walls, but her 
fists just bounced off.  "DAMNATION!"

	That about summed it up.

***********

Angel:

	Teleute was perhaps the most...severe...faerie I had met to this 
point.  She looked stern, like an angry nun.  She plucked us out of the cell 
with the force of her will, or maybe some magic; whatever it was, it left 
Harry's sword behind, but I still had the Sword of the Queen of Spring.  

	We were in a rather nice parlor with soft padded chairs decorated in 
snow and ice patterns.  The walls were black with little blue lightning 
bolts; I thought at first it was wallpaper, but then I realized each lightning 
bolt was different.  The floor had a nice blue shag carpet; I wanted to take 
off my shoes and run my toes through it.  

	There was only one other person with us.  Splinter.  I frowned at 
her.  No wonder the plan had gone horribly wrong...Probably Shalrisa and 
Jennifer had had the misfortune to pick some place where Splinter already 
was.  "Do you have Jennifer and Shalrisa locked up somewhere too?"  I 
asked.

	Splinter squirmed uncomfortably.  For a moment, I wondered if she 
had killed them.  

	Teleute said, "I let the Fetch go to act as my messenger to 
Glorianna that I have the two of you."  She smiled faintly; it wasn't a 
pleasant smile.  "While Jennifer," she glanced over at Splinter, who
squirmed more and now took a strong interest in the carpet, "will be
revealed soon enough."

	We sat down on a small couch opposite the two chairs where 
Splinter and Teleute sat.  I wondered why Splinter looked so unhappy; I 
would have been dancing with glee in her position, I thought.  "What do 
you want from us?"  I asked.

	"You two are but pawns in a larger game,"  Teleute said.  "If 
Glorianna had not decided to use you, I would not care about you, but 
since she has, and since it impacts upon my own plans, I have gone to 
great lengths to draw you here."

	"YOU KIDNAPPED MY PARENTS!"  Harry shouted angrily.  
"You...you..."

	"I have done far, far worse for the good of my kingdom,"  Teleute 
said.  "I could have kidnapped them, killed them, then let them 'escape' but 
had them really be Fetches who would kill you during your tearful reunion 
if I had felt like it."

	I shuddered.  We hadn't even thought about whether or not the 
people we had found were REALLY Alex's parents.  Or Harry's Dad.  
Heck, almost anyone could be a Fetch.  "You..."

	"I do not kill mortals needlessly, though I will do what I must.  I 
have, perhaps, gained a little wisdom since my own days as a fool."

	"You're not a fool,"  Splinter said quietly.

	"I have done many foolish things,"  Teleute said, "Though none so 
foolish as letting you two try to sneak into my castle.  My one worry is that 
I can't imagine Glorianna being so stupid.  Which likely means she wanted 
me to capture you...which makes no sense."

	It bothered me as well...Mother hadn't warned us that Teleute 
could catch us so easily.  But surely she wouldn't WANT to let us be 
captured.  Why would she do that?

	"Still, it matters not for now.  You see, I have her REAL daughter.  
You are but a mortal Glorianna has fooled.  I have had the real daughter 
ever since the day of her birth."

	"Then where is she?"  Splinter perked up; I guessed that she was 
curious as well.

	"I raised her as my own daughter,"  Teleute said, "Using my magic 
to make her grow up to resemble me instead of Glorianna.  Yet the Spell of 
Revelation of the True Form, which I planned to use at the right time, 
would reveal the truth.  Once Glorianna died as my seers foresaw, my
'daughter' would sit upon the Seelie Throne by right, but be loyal to me.
Either they would accept her, and then the Seelie would be defused as a
threat, or the Seelie would be thrown into chaos as they fought for the
throne."  Her voice was calm despite what she was talking about.  "I made
only one...no, two mistakes.  First, I did not realize Glorianna had such
a well laid contingency plan.  And secondly, I came to care for the child
I had stolen."

	Splinter was counting on her fingers and looking confused.  "I can't 
figure out which of my sisters you could be talking about...they're all too 
old to..."  She suddenly froze up and stared at Teleute.  "No..."

	"Yes,"  Teleute said quietly.  "I should have told you long ago, but 
I had concluded that Glorianna's fake would never show up, that 
something had gone wrong with her plans, and so I decided to simply let 
Glorianna die childless.  I wanted to keep you as my own, for unlike my 
other children, you actually care for me."  She sighed.  "I have not been a 
very good mother."

	"It...it can't be true!"  Splinter said, leaping to her feet.  "You and 
Father each...I got one of my affinities from each of you!  And..."

	"So why do you care if Glorianna claims Angel is her daughter, 
then?  IF you're telling the truth," Harry asked.  "And frankly, I don't 
believe Splinter is Glorianna's daughter any more than she does."  I 
couldn't believe it either.

	"She is.  Just as Opal is the true Harold Crags,"  Teleute said.

	"WHAT?"  Harry shouted.  "I mean...I knew I was the faerie, 
but...He doesn't look anything like Mom or Dad!"

	"Actually, he does look like your Dad in his mortal form, and he's 
got red hair too,"  Splinter said quietly.  "He doesn't look much like you, 
but...Mother, is this all true?"

	"I can prove it, and I will.  I don't know how Glorianna got 
Angela's faerie form to look so much like herself, although probably it was 
simply shapechanging magic, but if you two will stand by each other, I 
will use the Spell of Revelation of the True Form, and then you'll see."

	"If I'm the mortal, how did I become a faerie then?"  I asked, getting 
up and going over to Splinter.

	"Glorianna likely transformed you within days of your birth.  
While I cannot influence the faerie form of an adult who I transform into a 
faerie, babies are very malleable.  Just as I used magic to change the 
appearance of Splinter's mortal and faerie forms."

	I knew I had been enchanted to shield me from being detected, 
but...Something wasn't adding up, but I couldn't quite figure out what.  
"Why didn't I start changing into a faerie at puberty, then?"

	"Because..."  Teleute frowned.  Obviously, she hadn't thought of 
that one.  "She wished to conceal you, but I don't understand why."  She 
sounded a bit hestitant.  

	Splinter sighed.  "Cast the spell, Mother.  I wish to know for sure."

	It took longer than a lot of the magic I'd seen; a good ten minutes of 
dancing about and chanting and waving her arms.  And then I felt a wave of 
energy rip through me; it was completely disorienting, like a 
transformation between my mortal and faerie forms, but magnified. 

	I turned and looked at Splinter, who now looked exactly like my 
faerie form, but with white hair.  She reached up and felt her ears, then 
pulled out the Mirror of the Queen of the Fall and stared at it, then at me.  
We looked virtually identical except for her having white hair and me 
having reddish-gold hair.  

	Harry said, "Uhh...was this supposed to happen like this?"

	Splinter said, "You...me...are you sure you cast that right, 
Mother?"

	Teleute was stunned.  "But...one of you HAS to be the mortal.  If 
Glorianna had somehow conned me and made me think I had her 
daughter...but no, I never turned you into a faerie, Splinter.  You already 
were one when I got you.  But you...that SHOULD have made you 
assume your birth form.  Unless there's some..."  She frowned and gritted 
her teeth for a moment.  "This makes no sense.  If you were born a mortal, 
you should have reverted to your mortal form, even if you're a faerie now.  
Even if Glorianna turned you into one when you were little."

	"Maybe the spell doesn't work,"  Harry said.

	"Try assuming your mortal forms,"  Teleute said.  

	I did so.  Splinter said, "Do I...have to?"

	"Your secret will be out soon enough,"  Teleute said.  

	In a few seconds, she became my twin, basically.  She stared at 
herself in the mirror.  "My mortal form doesn't look like this!"

	I looked at myself.  "Well, my mortal form is the same."

	"I changed your mortal form as well as your faerie form, Splinter,"  
Teleute said.  "But that spell has been broken by the Spell of Reversion."

	I still didn't really trust this spell of reversion.  It could still be a 
congame.  "So it comes down to...you can't prove which of us is really 
Glorianna's daughter, and which of us is the...which of us was born a 
mortal."  I may be Glorianna's daughter, but I still think of myself as 
Angela, I thought.  

	Teleute frowned.  "This has not quite gone as planned."

	"I...Why didn't you tell me before, Mother?"  Splinter asked 
hesitantly.

	"As I said.  I wanted your loyalty, not a divided loyalty.  
And...with time, I didn't want to send you off.  If they had not surfaced..."

	"But why do you CARE?"  Harry asked.  "Why not let Glorianna 
just con us...IF she really is conning us."

	"There is war between us, and likely always will be.  I cannot 
forget how she nearly destroyed us all."  She scowled.  "In that much, 
Martius is right."

	"That's not what I heard,"  Harry said.

	"Of course not.  She'd hardly take responsibility for it,"  Teleute 
said.  

	"She was a baby before the Great Disaster," I said.  "I hardly see 
how it could be her fault."

	"She is Titania reborn, as I am Bialla reborn,"  Teleute said.  
"Martius was my husband, as Oberon was to her.  I suppose Oberon is 
lurking out there somewhere."

	Splinter nodded.  "Oberon told me this, and the mirror confirmed 
some of it, but..."

	Teleute started.  "Oberon...you met Oberon?"

	"He called himself Tacitus."

	I nearly jumped out of my skin.  "Tacitus is Oberon?  And Mother 
was...Titania?  But why?  Why pretend to be her own daughter?  How 
could she pretend to be someone who never existed?"

	"The Great Disaster warped many people's memories, and changed 
many things,"  Teleute said.  "Many, many things have changed.  You 
yourself carry a fragment of a forgotten past, Angela, and Splinter carries 
another one."

	"I still can't believe Mother would do something that would cause 
the Great Disaster," I said.  "She seems very nice."

	"Perhaps she has learned from her mistakes," Teleute said.  "I 
would hope so.  But I will never feel safe while she rules the Seelie."

	"So what are you going to do with us?"  Harry asked.  "Now that 
you've given us the song and dance..."

	"I had planned to simply hold the two of you captive until 
Glorianna fell and her realm collapsed into anarchy, but from what Splinter 
has told me, I will never get my other children back from Martius if I do 
that."

	I blinked in confusion.  "Eh?  How does that follow?"

	Harry's eyes suddenly widened, and he banged his forehead with 
his fists.  "I am such a moron!"  He pointed at Splinter.  "You're Jennifer!"

	Now my eyes widened.  "What?"

	Splinter blushed and reassumed her faerie form, then concentrated 
and gradually faded into Jennifer's appearance, although it occasionaly 
flickered.  "I guess...this isn't my true mortal appearance, but...this is how 
you knew me."

	I could feel my brain cells exploding.  This wasn't...it had to be a 
trick.  It had to be!  I couldn't have really...Jennifer had tried to save our 
parents from being captured!  She couldn't REALLY be Splinter!  And 
we...she was MUCH nicer than Splinter.  "You...why did you help us?"

	"Because I could not rescue my siblings without reconciling with 
you.  Because what Mother did was wrong," her voice was hesitant and 
she couldn't look at Teleute when she said that.  "Because Mimr told me I 
had to reconcile with my enemies in order to save my siblings, and Ariel 
told me that too.  And I gave up on my feud with you after I went to the 
Mists of Creation and...had a vision."

	"So trying to kidnap me THREE times was enough to sate you?"  I 
asked angrily.  She had helped us...my parents were safe because of her, 
and she'd sent Helena to save us...but I still wasn't happy about that at all.

	"I only tried twice."

	"I got hauled off into some castle of yours in the Mists of Creation 
the third time!  It was awful!  It..." 

	Splinter shivered.  "I'm never going into the mists again if I can help 
it.  And I certainly gave up on trying to get even with you after the 
SECOND time when the Mists showed me...a bad vision of the future."

	"If you didn't kidnap me, then who the hell did?"

	"I have no idea!"  Now she was getting irritated.  She drew her 
sword and pricked her finger.  "By the oath of spilt blood, I SWEAR I did 
not kidnap you a third time!  May my blood become fire if I lie!"

	I could feel a rush of power.  That was a strong oath.  Teleute 
paled.  "That's dangerous, child.  Never swear an oath unless you must."

	If she hadn't kidnapped me...who had?  Someone had to have done 
it.  Of course...a Fetch could have impersonated her, but...  "Alright, I'll 
accept that for now, but..."

	"I am sorry for what I did to you the first two times,"  Splinter 
said quietly.  "I beseech you.  I cannot rescue my  siblings...without your 
help."

	"My seer has told me that great disaster will result if my children 
are not rescued from Martius,"  Teleute said.  "And from what I have now 
learned from Splinter, only you two and her and Opal can do it.  He plans 
to use my children for something...or he would have already killed them, 
I'm sure, though I don't know what.  I will give you and all your kin and 
friends your freedom if you will swear an oath to help Splinter rescue my 
children."

	Harry frowned.  "You went to all this effort to kidnap us for that?"

	"No.  I had other objectives when I began, but I have changed my 
mind.  I want to stop Martius before he does something horrible with my 
children.  It may not be the queenly thing to do, but I will not sacrifice my 
children, even though I fear many of them would sacrifice me in my place."  
She sighed.   "Martius must be stopped.  My seer's visions are vague, but 
that much is clear.  Will you take my offer, or shall I send you back to the 
dungeons?"

	Harry looked at me, and I looked at him, then at Splinter.  "What 
do you think, Harry?"

	"I think I want you to swear an oath to set us free and never try to 
kidnap us or our families ever again,"  Harry said.  "I know a faerie's oath 
is binding.  I'm sure you'll find some way to wiggle around it, but..."

	"Mother does not wiggle out of her oaths!"  Splinter said 
irritatedly.

	"Mother has wiggled quite a bit in her time,"  Teleute said wearily.  
"But I will swear.  And then we must make plans."

**********
	
Harry said:

	She poofed us back to the cell once we finished planning.  
Complete with flash of light and smoke.  She has style, I'll give her that.

	Alex was still talking to her folks, while Tanya and Thomas were 
talking to my dad, who still looked pretty shook up.  Alex's mom had 
calmed down, though she still looked scared.  

	Everyone turned to us, and Thomas said, "So what's the damage?"

	"She's offered us our freedom if we help Splinter rescue the rest of 
Teleute's children.  Martius has them," I said.

	"Geez, kidnapping is like in this year,"  Tanya said.  "So the guy 
has Jennifer's siblings AND Splinter's.  Wait..."  The realization struck her.

	"She's Splinter," I said quietly.

	"WHAT?"  Alex shouted.

	"But she...why'd she help us save our parents?"  Tanya asked.

	"Because Mimr and Ariel told her it was the only way to get our 
help, which she needs to save her brothers and sisters."

	Alex frowned.  "After the way she kidnapped Angel..."

	"It wasn't her,"  Angel said quietly.  "She swore the oath of spilled 
blood, and I could feel the power of it.  We have no idea who did it, but..."

	"I still don't like this,"  Alex growled.

	"It beats being in a prison forever,"  I said.  "And Teleute has 
sworn to not do this again.  With a binding oath; I could feel the power on 
that one too.  So now we can all go home, and then Angel and I are gonna 
gear up to go help Splinter.  If any of you want to help, we'd appreciate it.  
And...we've got to try and convince Glorianna to give us Opal."

	"I'll help, even if I don't trust her," Tanya said.  "There's almost 
certainly some trick in the middle of all this."

	"I know, but it gets us all out of here, and...we owe her," I said.  

	"I'll help," Thomas said.  "Gotta keep Tanya out of trouble."

	"HEY!"

	Alex fumed.  "I can't let you two go into danger without me, 
but...I'm just going to keep you safe."

	"Thanks," Angel said, giving her a hug.  Alex relaxed and hugged her 
back.  

	And then we took out the mirror, and left.  Splinter was supposed 
to come join us at the Palace of Stars once we made sure everything was 
settled in with our parents and once we made arrangements to keep our 
mortal lives from totally disintegrating.  Which wasn't gonna be easy if this 
went on for too long.

***********

Angel said:

	They'd gotten all of our parents moved into the Palace of the Stars 
by the time we got back; after our experiences with Teleute, I was pretty 
sure they would be safe.  I was also pretty aggravated with Mother for not 
giving us a better warning of what Teleute could have done in the way of 
security.  

	I checked in with Mom and Dad first, before going to chew her out, 
while everyone else scattered to take care of their parents.  Well, first I 
made sure Alex's parents would have somewhere to stay.  Then I went to 
find Mom and Dad, who had gotten set up in what I came to learn was 
known as the 'mortals wing'.  

	Dad wasn't there; I almost didn't recognize Mom.  She has long, 
black, slightly wavy hair, which she keeps up in a bun most of the time; it 
flowed down freely now and the waviness was accented.  In fact, it looked 
a good six inches longer.  She was wearing a long royal gold dress with 
various symbols embroidered in green on it, along with golden fleur-de-lei 
(which didn't show up too well).  It had sleeves to the shoulder with a lace 
fringe, and a skirt that went down to mid-calf.  The top was slit down the 
middle to the waist, but laced shut almost all the way up, opening into a v 
shape around the neck.  A female Nightstalker was busily brushing 
mother's hair; she was clad in a simple blue gown that was rather more 
revealing than Mom's.  Another Nightstalker was polishing a gold hilted 
fencing foil that hung on the wall.

	The room itself was about twice the size of their bedroom back 
home...oh wait, you've never seen that.  It was a good fifty feet across 
both ways with a twelve foot ceiling that had three light globes hanging 
from it.  The bed was a good eight by eight feet itself, with plain blue 
sheets and a red canopy held up by four posts, each carven to represent 
one of the seasons.  The walls were white with various tapestries depicting 
the seasons and various kinds of weather; the hurricane tapestry was 
particularly impressive.  

	There was also a long bookshelf along the wall full of eighteenth 
and nineteenth century books; the most recent one was the Wizard of Oz 
(yeah, I know that's early 20th century), a stuffed owl in one corner on a 
post which apparently doubled as a hat/coat/cloakrack, a nice oak table 
with six padded (but not very padded) chairs and a long green couch by the 
fireplace, on which Mom and the first Nightstalker sat.  The sword hung 
on the wall near the entrance to the connected bathroom.  

	They didn't hear me come in, and since the floor was covered with 
plush carpet, they didn't hear me creeping up on them, either.  The second 
Nightstalker did, though, jumping forward with the foil.  "Halt!"

	Mom turned around.  "ANGEL!"  She got up and ran over to me, 
giving me a crushing hug.  The embarrassed second Nightstalker pretended 
that was part of the cleaning procedure and went back to work.

	"We got our ass kicked, but Teleute cut a deal with us.  I gotta go 
kick the Queen's butt after this," I said.

	Mom stepped back and piroutted.  "How do I look?"

	"You look great!"  She looked like she'd lost a good ten years.  
Maybe more.  "Where's Dad?"

	"He went hunting with some lords...Sword and Fishpike and...no, 
that's not right.  Fishburn, Stipple, and...no...Sword, Fishrun, and Pike!  
That was it.  They seemed like nice young men, even though I think 
Fishrun was flirting with me.  Which hasn't happened in a while."  She 
smiled.  "If you were going to make a deal, you probably should have 
taken your father.  I think he could talk Teleute into giving you her crown 
if he had enough time."

	I laughed.  "Maybe.  But Teleute swore to not try to kidnap you 
again, so we can arrange for you to go home."

	"I don't think I want to," she said.

	"..."

	"If I could bring my friends here, I definitely wouldn't.  Hmm.  I 
suppose it would be hard to keep in touch with your sisters too, and 
Frank's relatives.  Maybe if we commuted..."  She looked contemplative.

	"What about your job?"

	"Piffle on that," she said.  "I like being a travel agent, but I never get 
any time off, and I never can afford to go any of those places I send people 
to.  I could finally catch up on biology and do what I really wanted to do 
with my life, but couldn't, since I had to keep all of you from starving to 
death."  Mom has a biology degree, but by the time she graduated, she had 
several kids, and she couldn't find work that was compatible with that in 
biology like she wanted.  So she ended up as a part time travel agent.  She's 
full time now.  

	"What about Dad?"

	"He's in hog heaven," she said.  "He's trying to convince the Queen 
to make him the Duke of Earl."  Mom rolled her eyes.  "She'll probably 
lock him up if she ever figures out what he's talking about."

	I laughed.  Usually Mom is the nut of our family, but Dad can be 
pretty funny on the rare occasions he tries.  "Well, it would save on trying 
to explain to the police what happened."

	Mom nodded.  "Well, I need to finish grooming."  She laughed.  
"You go chew out the Queen.  I'll come sew you back up afterwards."

	I hoped I wouldn't need surgery afterwards.

**********

Harry said:

	I wanted to talk to Mom and Dad, but they were so busy doing the 
tearful reunion thing that I decided to slip out and let them be alone for a 
while.  After a bit of thought, I'd decided to go find Angel and help her go 
chew out the queen.  I then realized I had no clue where her folks were, so 
I decided to go find Alex. 

	With some help from various denizens, I found her coming down 
the staircase I was going up.  She looked a little depressed before she saw 
me, but once she did, she immediately brightened, jumped down six stairs, 
grabbed me, spun me around and kissed me.  

	I kissed her back, of course; even if I had hated her, I wouldn't have 
been able to help myself, especially with my impulses still going haywire.  
I knew I shouldn't be doing this...not until Angel and I got our heads 
straightened out.  I didn't believe in polygamy...when sane.  Reason, 
however, flew out the window, and I slid my arms around her, leaning up 
as best I could; she's several inches taller than me.

	My brain and body started shouting out suggestions that are not 
wise to follow when one is in a public staircase.  Especially not when one 
hears people coming.  Which is what enabled me to control myself.  Sort 
of.  It helped that she broke off the kiss herself.

	"I wanna take you to meet Mom and Dad.  I mean, really meet 
them," she said, beaming.

	Naturally, I panicked.  What had she told them?  I didn't really 
know what they were like, despite having spent a little time in a cell with 
them.  But I couldn't say no.  And I did want to meet them properly.

	"Okay."

	She hooked an arm through mine.  "I haven't told them about me 
and Angel yet; just us two.  Although I'll have to tell them soon, but..."  
She sighed.  "I'm afraid Mom will freak more.  She's... terrified of faeries.  
I've got this bad feeling like..."  She growled a little.  "Someone at Teleute's 
castle may have done something to her."

	I spent a few seconds parsing that.  "You mean like..."  I paled.

	"I can't think why else she'd be so scared of..."  She stared at the 
ground as we kept climbing.  "Even..."

	"She's scared of you," I said softly.  "I'm sorry, Alex."

	She gripped my hand tightly.  "It's not your fault.  Even the pixies 
send her into hysterics.  It's not like her.  Some guy tried to break into the 
house one time.  She beat him unconscious with a wrench.  Mom's a...Even 
if she's scared, she doesn't go into hysterics.  And she won't say why."

	"Maybe it's a spell."

	"I can't find one," she said.  We got off the stairs and headed down 
the hallway.  She went from gripping my hand to interlacing her fingers 
with mine.  "Dad's been taking it all well, though.  I kinda expected him to 
make some kind of..."  She stared off at the wall again.  "He used to be 
pretty...ummm..."

	"I know you said he was violent."

	Alex sighed.  "He used to make Archie Bunker look like Jessie 
Jackson.  But it doesn't seem to bother him at all that I turn green and that 
he's surrounded by purple and orange people and people who are made out 
of rock and..."

	"People do change their minds.  And he's been locked up since you 
were nine, right?"

	She nodded.

	"Must have changed his mind...argle...how's he gonna go back to...I 
mean...explaining this to the warden isn't gonna be any fun."

	"Mom doesn't want him to go, but he wants to go back and finish 
his sentence.  He only has two more years, and then he'll be free and clear."

	She stopped at a door and knocked.

	Alex's dad, now wearing some clean clothing--a Texas Rangers T-
shirt and jeans (don't ask me where he got it), answered the door.  "Hi, 
Alexandra.  And you're Harry, right?"  He stuck out a hand.  "I owe you 
for getting us out of the Elf Bitch Queen's slammer.  Although it was better 
than being locked up by the TDC."

	I shook his hand, and he let us in.  The man has a SERIOUS grip.  I 
thought for a moment that my bones would break.  "Nice to meet you 
properly."

	"Hey, Ma, Harry's here,"  he said to his wife, who was seated on 
the couch by the crackling fire in the fireplace, her back to us.  Helena was 
seated by her, and they were talking quietly.

	I blinked.  Ma?  

	The room was pretty nice, about thirty by thirty feet, with some 
nice paintings of the sea, and one very vivid painting of a city of dark 
metals and stone floating in a sea of lava.  The floor was covered with 
geometric rugs and furs, like the bear skin rug in front of the fire.  There 
was a large king-sized bed with checked white and green sheets by one 
wall, and a fair sized bookshelf sat next to it with a bible and several 
magazines--from 1889.  

	There was also a couch (occupied) and a small table and several 
chairs of pine wood (unoccupied).  Alex's Dad pulled out chairs for Alex 
and I, then went over to tap 'Ma' on the shoulder.  "Ma, you going deaf?"

	She laughed a little, then turned around, as did Helena.  "Hi, 
Harry,"  Helena said.  

	Alex's Mom looked pretty bleak.  She stared at me intently and 
whispered something to Helena, who whispered back.  "Hello," she said 
quietly.

	Alex's Dad frowned deeper, then sat down at the table with us.  
"So I hear you want to be a scientist."

	I nodded.  "Yeah, I'm hoping to be a physicist like Dad."

	"Gonna make atomic bombs for a living?"

	I laughed.  "No, but I will be playing with atomic accelerators."  

	"How many miles an hour do they get up to?"

	I resisted the urge to laugh at him.  It was a logical question for a 
non-physicist.  "High enough that when atoms collide, they smash into tiny 
bits, which we study.  The bigger the accelerator, the faster we can make 
them go, and the better the bits."  Sort of.  

	He shook his head.  "Well, it means you're a damn sight smarter 
than most of Alex's boyfriends, from the letters Ma sends me."

	"Most of them were dumber than dirt," Alex said, sighing.  

	"I was starting to wonder if Alex would ever find another  
boyfriend," Alex's Mom said quietly.  "She hadn't had one since she went 
to college.  At least that she told us about."  She wouldn't quite look at 
Alex, though she did look at me.

	Alex frowned slightly.  "After my high school boyfriends, can you 
blame me?"

	"I was afraid you'd end up all alone," she said, her voice getting just 
a tiny bit irritated. "No mother wants her daughters to end up alone."

	"Let's not fight,"  Alex's Dad said.  "I'm too old for one of our old 
family brawls."  He looked to be in good enough shape for it.

	"Or have you been having a bunch of faerie boyfriends you couldn't 
tell us about?"  The irritation level was rising.  "What else don't we know 
about?"

	Alex blushed.  "I couldn't tell anyone!  I was afraid you'd get pulled 
into this sort of thing and..."

	"But we got pulled in anyway!"  She was kneeling on the couch, 
and starting to get mad.  "They killed Billy!"

	I paled.  They'd killed one of her children?  No wonder she'd been 
hysterical.  

	"He's just a dog, Iris,"  Alex's Dad said.  "I'm surprised he was still 
alive.  I gave him to Alexandra when she was six."

	"They killed Billy?"  Alex was shocked.  "Why?"

	A thought struck me.  "You had Billy with you at HEB?"

	She blinked.  "What?"

	"When did they kill Billy?"

	"When..during..."  She started to look confused.  

	"I mean...wouldn't he have been at your house?"

	Alex's Mom began to shake her hands.  "They did!  I saw it!"

	"When?"

	"DON'T TELL ME WHAT I DID OR DIDN'T SEE!"  she said, 
shaking her finger at me.  "You're one of them damn faerie monsters!  You 
burned our house and killed our dog and...and..."  She began to cry.  "My 
own daughter's a monster."  She started to cry on Helen's shoulder.  "I 
didn't even know I had twins...I..."

	Alex's father sighed.  He said quietly, "Something's wrong with 
Ma."

	"I think someone messed with her head," I said.  "I'll try and find 
someone who can help her.

	Alex looked over at her mother, pained.  "Ma...I..."

	"GO AWAY!" she shouted, and now Alex started to cry.  I got up, 
came over, and hugged Alex.

	Alex's father came over and put a hand on her shoulder.  "I ain't 
sure what the hell is going on, but I know you didn't mean for us to get 
dragged into this.  You two take a walk, and I'll try and calm down Ma.  
Your sister Helena seems to have a knack for calming her down."

	Alex frowned for a moment, then sighed, trying to restrain her 
tears.  "Come on, Harry."

	Alex's Dad, whose name I still didn't know, shook my hand.  "I 
hope we can talk later.  Do these Elves have a pro baseball league?"

	"I bet they'd start one if you suggested it," I said, laughing.

	He sighed.  "If I didn't have to go back...well, we can talk about it 
once Ma finishes having a fit."  He squeezed Alex's shoulder, then got up 
and went over to Mrs. Cook.

	We walked out quietly, then she shut the door and hugged me, 
standing silently.  I could hear her sobbing, and I reached up with one hand 
to futilely brush away a few tears.  "Don't cry."  It's truly one of the 
dumbest pieces of advice ever, but I couldn't help it.

	"Harry...what do your parents think about..."

	"I don't know.  Dad had to try to calm down Mom so I left.  
Wanna go meet them?"

	"Sure," she said, starting to smile.  "Dad liked you.  I was hoping 
he would, but..."

	"But?"

	"He's not much on smart people.  He's not dumb, but...he tends to 
act instead of think, and...all that.  You know."

	"He seemed like a nice enough guy to me."

	We walked and talked quietly until we got to my folks' room.  I 
should have knocked, but instead, I simply opened the door.  My folks 
were making out like crazed weasels on the table in the room.  For a few 
seconds, I stared in shock.  I'd known on an intellectual level that my 
parents had sex periodically.  But I'd never seen it or even known it was 
going on; they were VERY discreet.  

	Then a hand came down over my eyes, I was dragged back, and the 
door shut.  Alex giggled.  "Hysterics, eh?"

	I wrenched the hand off.  "I didn't..."

	"I walked in on my parents once when I was six.  I'd had a 
nightmare, and I just ran in, right as..."  She blushed.  "They were so 
embarrassed, that for a week, they gave me everything I wanted, just so I 
wouldn't tell my siblings."  She ran a hand along my leg and I shivered.  She 
giggled.  "Gives me a few ideas."

	I turned beet red.  "Alex!"

	"Don't you want to be like your father?"

	"ALEX!!!!"  

	I had to chase her down the hallway after that as she ran off 
laughing.  "Like father, like son!"

	"AAAAAALLLLLEEEXXXXX!!!!!!"

**********

Angel said:

	I met Mother (if she was my Mother, which now I was uncertain 
of) in the Red room, a plushly decorated red parlor.  Plopping down on the 
couch, I said, "You didn't tell us she could set a ward to tell her that we'd 
come!  We could have been locked up forever!"

	She shook her head.  "I have drunk from Mimr's well, and one of 
the things I saw so long ago was you sitting on the Throne of Stars, 
wearing the Crown of Summer, with the Sword of the Spring in your 
hands."  She pointed to the sword hanging from my belt.  "With a dark 
skinned Sidhe by your side, holding the Horn of Spring, wearing the 
Crown of Spring.  So I knew you had to return safely."

	"But what about our friends?  They had no guarantees like that!"

	"If Teleute wanted any of them dead, she'd have done it directly.  
Plus, with a good enough diversion, your plan might have worked.  If 
Jennifer hadn't been Splinter."

	My eyes widened.  "You KNEW?"

	"I was disappointed you didn't figure it out yourself."

	"IT COULD HAVE BEEN A TRAP!"

	She shook her head.  "She already could have kidnapped Harry if 
she wanted to.  Instead, she saved him from the Wild Hunt.  Plus, I read 
her mind."

	"..."

	"My power here is vast, though limited by the fact that I'm not 
omnipresent or omniscient.  Especially since I have had hundreds of years 
to build up my mastery.  I let you go despite knowing Teleute's power 
because I knew it would come out how it did."

	"Mother...What is the truth about me and Harry?"  I had to know.

	"Harry is truly the Duke's son.  Opal is the 'true' Harold Crags.  As 
for you and Splinter...I'm not sure."

	Not one of the answers I expected.  "Not sure?"

	"Harold's story is complex with more kidnappings than you can 
easily count.  It is worse for you.  You see...you are my daughter, but you 
came out of Maria Bedos-Rezak's womb."

	"What?"

	"Once I was sure we had found my daughter's counterpart, I used a 
spell to switch the babies in the womb."

	I boggled.

	"I was expecting a kidnapping on the way to the 'switch'.  They 
struck shortly after he swapped Strongheart and the 'real' Harold, but 
before the two of you were swapped.  I had already transformed baby 
Splinter into a faerie and did my best to insure she would be a Sidhe.  Lady 
Rowanwood was my ally in this; she had acted as my midwife.  Once they 
were satisfied they had the faerie baby, I took measures to ensure your 
faerie nature wouldn't manifest until the right time, again with Lady 
Rowanwood's help, and measures to make sure no one would find you."  
She paused to eat a cookie.  "Would you like one?"
	
	I took a cookie.  It was somewhat plausible, but... "Why didn't you 
just protect us better?"

	"A heavily armed escort would have been too hard to hide.  And I 
wanted them to assume they had won and go away.  If they had found 
your host family, your life as a mortal would have been wrecked."

	"But what about...my mortal twin?  I mean, you basically...let her 
fall into the hands of the Unseelie."

	She frowned.  "When one is a Queen, one must often make 
unpleasant decisions.  I could not save both of you.  I chose to save my 
own daughter.  And as you saw, Teleute has treated her well."

	I still wasn't happy.  There had to be a better way.  I would have 
come up with a plan to save both babies.  I resolved to think about it later.  
"We need to talk about getting all of our parents back into something 
resembling a normal life and...are you really Titania?"

	Seeing the Queen of the Seelie Fae boggle was impressive.  Her ears 
quivered, her eyes seemed to double in size, and her hair actually flailed 
about for a second.  "Who told you that?"

	"Bialla," I said flatly.  "So what DID happen between you and 
Oberon?  Did you really try to use the Rite of Enlightenment?  Is that 
what caused the Great Disaster?"

	"So it is her," she whispered.  "I couldn't be sure."  She sighed.  "It 
is a long story."

	"We're both immortal, you know."

	She laughed faintly.  "Well, you must help Splinter soon, but... it 
started with a trip to the Lands of Legends."

***********

Glorianna said:

	Once I was young, and I was named Titania, and I believed I knew 
everything, as every young person believes.  I had heard many stories of 
the Rite of Enlightenment, and so I came to desire it, for in those days, I 
was a great seeker after power without much thought of the consequences.  
It is easy for a fae to become obsessed, and I did.  

	And so, Oberon ruled while I sought through the Land of Legends, 
believing that with all the legends that lived there, I could find this legend, 
the legend of the Rite of Enlightenment, and use it.  After many 
adventures, I found the scroll, and studied it for a long time.  I finally 
determined that I would visit Mimr's well, and seek his wisdom.  I found 
him, and asked him if I should perform the rite.  He said yes.

	That was my mistake...I had not sought him out by a method by 
which I could be sure of finding the true Mimr.  Instead, I had been 
deceived, I am sure now.  All the answers he gave me led to disaster, and 
later, I found the true Mimr.  But that is a story for another day.

	I still don't know how Bialla and Martius found out, or how they 
got past our defenses.  They tried to kill me with cold iron, but all it did 
was to disrupt the ritual.  Perhaps it might have actually worked if they 
had not, but as it was, it caused the Great Disaster.  

	And so, Arcadia was laid waste.  I lived for a time as a mortal 
Queen, then eventually returned to Arcadia, believing myself to be 
Glorianna, daughter of Titania.  I regained my memories when I once more 
took up my Pillar, but I chose to conceal this fact, for I hoped to use my 
concealed knowledge against my many enemies.  I had to fight for the 
throne for decades.

	In addition, I sought to protect myself against Bialla, who I was 
sure was out there.  When Teleute rose to power, I suspected she was 
Bialla.  Now, thanks to you, I am completely certain.  No one but you and 
Strongheart know what I have told you, and I expect you to keep your 
silence.

**************

Angel said:

	She still wasn't telling me something, I had a feeling.  Still, I 
understood a few things better.  "So why didn't you and Oberon get back 
together?"

	"I don't know where he is.  He blames me for everything that 
happened.  I cannot blame him for feeling bitter."  She sighed.  "I am sorry 
I have lied to you, but if it is necessary, I will do it again.  Being Queen is 
often not pleasant."

	"I'm your DAUGHTER!"

	"Even your lover does not tell you everything, I'm sure," she said.  
"And secrets are best kept when only one person knows them.  Keep that 
in mind before you tell your friends."

	I could appreciate that, but I still wasn't happy about it.

*************

Harry said:

	In pursuit of Alex, I ended up running into Tanya and Mom 
Cromwell.  Mom Cromwell had gone local, I could tell, wearing a fairly 
revealing and tight blue and red dress with a long skirt slit up both sides 
and a top that showed off more than it hid.  Irene was with them, wearing 
a similar dress in crimson and green.  

	"Harry!"  Tanya said, smiling.  "You and Angel gone to chew out 
the Queen yet?"

	"Not yet.  We're trying to find her."

	"Is George okay?"  Mom Cromwell asked.  

	"Dad's fine," I said, blushing.

	Alex said, "He and Mrs. Crags are having mad passionate sex," then 
giggled.

	"Alex!"  I buried my face in my hands.

	"C'mon, Harry, you had to know they weren't virgins,"  Tanya said 
teasingly.

	"I could have told you that," Mom Cromwell said, then everyone 
but me stared at her.  "There was this time...I suppose they'd kill me for 
talking about it."

	"Tell, tell!"  Irene said.

	Tanya looked embarrassed now.  "You didn't."

	"It was LONG before any of us were married!  We...I'm NOT 
going to talk about it," Mom Cromwell said.  "Cathy would crucify me."

	"Ahah, now I know what those pictures were from!"  Irene 
announced.

	Mom Cromwell turned purple.  "How did you see those pictures?"

	"..."  Tanya and I boggled in unison.  "PICTURES?"

	"I thought I'd locked those in a box in the attic!"

	"No, they were in the photo album you showed me when I asked 
what your college days were like.  Then you went off to make a phone call 
and..."  Irene giggled.

	"We were drunk!  I didn't even realize at first that...I can't believe 
she..."  Mom Cromwell pulled her hair.  "I'm going to burn those 
pictures...I should have done it a long time ago."

	"Any of the pictures look like this?"  Alex made a symbolic gesture 
with her hands I'm not going to detail.  Suffice to say it represented a 
position...I don't want to think about it.

	"Yeah!  I think the woman was Harry's Mom and..."

	Tanya, Mom Cromwell, and I all grappled Irene and put a hand 
over her mouth.  "IRENE!"  Tanya shouted.

	Alex fake pouted.  "I guess she's got a long memory, then."

	Tanya said, "What?"

	"ALEX!!!!"  I couldn't believe she was acting like this.  Maybe it 
was just a way to forget her troubles with her Mom.  Or maybe she'd 
snapped too.  

	Mom Cromwell sighed.  "Let's talk about something else, okay?"

	"So what are you going to do?"

	"Go back home once it's safe, then try to come up with some way 
to explain to my department chairman what happened."

	"We'll come up with something," Tanya said.  

	Irene said, "Come with me, will you, Wildbriar?  I have a clever 
plan."  She grinned evilly.

	"Let's plot," Alex said, laughing.  She kissed me on the cheek.  "See 
you later, Harry!"

	We watched them go.  Mom Cromwell shook her head.  "Irene has 
less sense than I did at her age.  And that's saying something."

	Tanya frowned.  "I'd think she was the faerie instead of me if I 
didn't know better."

	"Oh, she's my child.  I was a lot like that.  I like her, but...I'm glad I 
don't have to be the one who disciplines her.  So where's Angel, Harry?"

	"Her Mom said she went to go chew out the Queen."  I sighed.  "I 
can't blame her."

	"Well, we WERE on our way to see your parents, but I suppose 
they'd not want to be disturbed," Mom Cromwell said.  "But I guess I can 
get my two remaining children to show me around."  She smiled at us and I 
smiled back.  

	"Sure thing, Mom," I said.  We interlaced arms with her and started 
off down the hallway.  "How has your stay been?"

	"This really handsome red skinned fellow tried to seduce me last 
night," she said.  "If I wasn't married, I would have said yes.  I think he 
was an Efreet. Count Spark or something."  She laughed.  "I finally had to 
dump a bucket on his head to cool his ardor.  I wish..."

	"I wish Dad was here to enjoy this too," Tanya said quietly.  She 
gave me an odd look; clearly I was supposed to figure it out with my 
psychic powers.  Sadly, I didn't have any.

	"I met Alex's Dad and Mom."

	"What are they like?"  Tanya asked.  "I mean...I've met them, but 
Alex's mom was too busy freaking out for me to really get to know them."

	"Her dad seems like an okay guy.  Her mom...I think someone 
messed with her mind, and now she hates and fears all faeries."

	Tanya's eyes widened.  "Oh man."

	"Poor girl,"  Mrs. Cromwell said.  "She seems to be taking it well, 
though."

	"She was crying earlier," I said.  "I had to try and comfort her."

	Tanya twitched visibly.  "She..."  She sagged slightly.  "I hope we 
can help her mom.  That's got to be awful for her."

	We rounded a corner and ran into Thomas and his parents.  "There 
you are!"  Thomas' father said.  "We need a fourth for mixed doubles.  You 
are summoned, Olivia."

	She laughed.  "But my children were about to give me the grand 
tour."

	"Later.  The castle won't go anywhere, but the sunlight will."  He 
grinned.

	"I'm afraid I must go," she said.  "You two will share your toys 
while I'm gone, okay?"

	"Do we HAVE to?" Tanya whined teasingly, then went over and 
kissed Thomas on the cheek.  "See you later.  Don't kick Mom's butt too 
much."

	"I'll try," he said.  "She'll be my partner after all.  Don't forget the 
feast tonight."

	"I won't," she said, kissed him again, then waved as they all left.

	"So whatcha wanna do?" I asked.

	"Hmmm...pose you for nude pictures?" she asked, winking.

	I blushed.  "Those wouldn't sell too well."  

	She hooked an arm around mine and started to drag 
me...somewhere.  "Piffle.  I can think of way too many Tau Ceti women 
who would buy the 'Harold Crags Bares All' calendar."

	"Alex would probably show it to my parents in this mood she's 
in."

	"She didn't take pictures when you three did it, did she?" Tanya 
asked, her voice half-serious, half-humorous.

	"TANYA!  We..."  Wait...how did she know?  "You knew?  I 
mean..."

	"Angie confessed.  Also, she kissed you goodbye, you know.  And 
took you to meet her parents.  Plus, Irene has a bit of a big mouth.  So...do 
you love her, Harry?"  She looked at me quite seriously now.

	"I...I like Alex a lot.  And I...I crave her now.  Every time we
touch is wonderful.  But...I think I'd kiss anyone the way I am now."

	"Would you kiss me?"

	So I kissed her.  We ended up with her pressed to the wall, our 
hands roaming various places they shouldn't go when you're in a public 
place.  I managed to stop, somehow, though it was hard.  I was going to do 
something really dumb today; I could smell it.  "Yes."

	She was breathing a little heavier.  "Harry...you've improved your 
kissing skills.  Wanna...do that again?"

	It took every droplet of willpower to step back.  I wanted to, 
badly.  All the fantasies I'd built up over years of knowing Tanya started 
fighting to appear in my mind's eye.  "We'd better not, even though I want 
to."

	She nodded, took a deep breath, and stepped away, still quite 
close, but not THAT close.  "I know.  I promised Angie I'd wait until the 
four of us could do something together."  She blushed a little.  "I was 
just...I'm..."

	"Me too," I said.  "Tell me it gets better."

	"It gets better.  You and Thomas are the only guys I struggle with 
keeping my self-control, although I do get a lot of naughty thoughts.  
Usually there's no danger of acting on them.  But with you..."  She smiled 
impishly at me.  "I wouldn't have thought anything of doing it right here in 
the hallway."

	I turned beet red.  "I would.  Maybe...okay, I wouldn't have 
worried about it either."

	"As soon as we finish this whole business, I'm dragging you off to 
a fast-time realm and I'll tie you and Angie up until you get through this, 
but for now..."  She leaned forward and kissed my cheek.  "Hmm...I 
wonder what Alex thinks of Thomas..."

	I couldn't blush more; I tried.  "..."

	"You're fun to tease, Harry," she said, laughing.  "Let's go spy on 
your parents."

	"Let's NOT."  

	"How about swimming?"

	"Sounds good to me," I said.

**************

Angel said:

	I had a lot to think about, so I went looking for Harry once I 
finished talking to Mother.  Tanya, in a bikini, was chasing Harry through 
the hallway; he was in swim trunks and looked embarrassed.  "Come back 
here!" she shouted.  "I'll make them put their clothing back on!"

	I blinked in confusion.  "What?"

	Harry hid behind me.  "This...You didn't tell me everyone swam 
naked!"

	"They weren't ALL naked," she said, then laughed.  "I'd forgotten."

	"I...Not a good idea in my current state."

	"Well, we'll just have to haul you off and burn it out of your 
system."  She winked at Harry.  "Although the way Alex is acting, she'll 
probably make you two do it until you pass out tonight."

	I blushed.  "How's she been acting?"

	"In the true spirit of faeriedom," Tanya said, laughing some more.  
"And she's off with Irene, which means you're likely all in trouble.  
Probably half the Palace will be in your bed tonight."  She thought a 
moment.  "You've got a bath with a nice hot tub, right, Angie?"

	"Yeah," I said.

	"Let's use it," she said.  "We can discuss time sharing privileges on 
Harry while we're at it."

	"Hey!" he said.

	"He does have a busy schedule," Tanya said.  "Although we can 
use Thomas to pinch hit for him."  She winked and we both laughed. 

	Harry ran, so we gave chase of course.  Eventually, we caught him 
and hauled him off.  We also went and got Thomas.  We tried to find Irene 
and Alex, but they had run off somewhere and couldn't be found, and 
Helena was busy with Alex's parents.  So the four of us went off to have a 
good soak in the hot tub.

	I cuddled up to Harry, of course; he seemed awfully tense about it.  
"Catching up on homework is NOT gonna be fun," I said.

	Harry groaned.  "I can't imagine what we're gonna tell our teachers 
or how we'll ever catch up."

	"We'll go off somewhere time is faster so you can do it all in one 
day.  And forge doctor notes for triple pneumonia or something," Tanya 
said.  "Now what we're gonna do about our parents..."  She sighed.  
"Especially Alex's dad."

	"So did you really walk in on..."  Thomas began.

	Harry splashed him.  "It was an ACCIDENT!"

	"Uh huh.  Sounds like Oedipus to me," he said, grinning.

	They soon started wrestling, sending water everywhere, while I 
laughed.  Harry didn't have much of a chance, really, but they were just 
playing around.  Then Harry eeped and jumped back over to me, blushing.  
I had no idea why, but had a feeling I shouldn't ask.

	Thomas just grinned.  "I am the king of the hot tub!"  Then Tanya 
dunked him.

	"So what did the Queen have to say?"  Tanya asked.  

	I told them as much as I could without giving away all the secrets, 
resolving to tell Harry the other stuff once we were in private.  The dinner 
bell rang, and we all went to Dinner.  Then Harry's folks hauled him off 
while me, Thomas, Tanya, and our parents, all went to see some play that 
was being put on by the Queen's Theatre Company.  I'll say that 
Shakespeare is a much better playwright than actor.

***********

Harry said:

	My folks took me back to their room to talk; it was pretty plush, 
with a lot of heavily padded chairs and couches, a big mauve bed, and a ton 
of art showing caves.  Sort of a weird theme, I thought.  I sat down on a 
chair by the fireplace while they sat on the couch together.  Dad had 
rustled up a brown suit somewhere to replace the torn and burnt one he 
had been wearing earlier, while Mom was wearing a nice green gown with 
yellow stars.  It was shorter than her usual dresses, just down to the knee, 
and had short sleeves as well.  

	Mom hugged me tightly, then sat me down.  "Thank you, Harry, 
for getting your father back."

	"You shouldn't have risked your life like that," Dad said.  "You 
would have been locked up with me forever if Teleute hadn't wanted to 
make a deal."

	"I couldn't just leave you to rot, Dad," I said.  "And it worked out 
in the end."  Somehow.  Assuming Martius didn't kick our ass like Teleute.  

	"I wish you'd told us about all this earlier," Dad said.  "Not that it 
would have done much good, but..."

	"I just learned recently,"  I said quietly.  "I'm sorry...I 
just...especially after what happened with Mr. Cromwell, I should have 
said something, but..."

	"Is there anything else we should know about?"  Mom asked.  She 
had the tone of voice that told me she already knew something, but was 
waiting for a confession.  I hate it when that happens.

	I couldn't tell them about me and Alex and Angel...They'd freak.  
Especially Mom.  Heck, she wouldn't be pleased if she knew I'd slept with 
Angel, let alone both of them.  But I didn't want to lie to my parents.  
"Have you met Opal yet?"

	Mom blinked.  "Eh?"

	"He...Well, if Glorianna and Teleute are right, and I don't see why 
they wouldn't be...He's..."  I couldn't quite bring myself to say it.

	"Our son," Dad said for me.

	"Uh huh."

	"No, I hadn't heard that," Mom said quietly, half-staring past me.  
"What's he like?"

	"I don't know really.  He's Splinter's boyfriend.  She's...Angel's 
'twin'."

	Dad laughed.  "History repeats itself."

	"We're trying to figure out something we can tell the police when 
you go home," I said.  "And your bosses.  We need a cover for Mo...Mrs. 
Cromwell as well.  All she really needs is a forged doctor's note, but for 
you, Dad...I have no idea."

	"I was kidnapped by terrorists, banged my head, and forgot 
everything," he said.  "Something like that.  It's a pity I can't take a 
sabbatical, come here, study the physics of Arcadia, then write a book 
about it.  I could make quite a reputation for myself."

	"The queen wants to read some of my stories," Mom said, 
beaming.  "And so does..."  I could tell she could hardly believe it.

	"If I take that Shakespeare class next semester that Tanya is trying 
to coerce me into taking, I'll bring him for show and tell," I joked.

	They both laughed a lot.  Mom just kind of titters, while Dad 
usually laughs like he's going to die when he does laugh, which isn't too 
often.  "I'm going to bring my Shakespeare collection and have him sign it," 
Mom said, laughing.  "Not that anyone will believe it."

	"They've all been so friendly, it's scary.  I mean, three lords tried to 
cheer me up by..."  Mom blushed.

	"I imagine they must have a lot of babies here or very good birth 
control," Dad said.

	"Faeries never get pregnant unless they want to," I said.  "Or so 
I've been told."

	"That would explain a few things," Mom said.  "It's all 
so...amazing.  I could write five novels just from the stories I've heard in 
the last day."

	"I suppose...you know, Lucy's probably tearing her hair out," Dad 
said.

	"If she knows," I said.  "Who would know to call her?"

	"Well, we've got to go home soon; how soon do you think we can 
go?"  Mom asked.  "I'd like to stay a few days; maybe we'll take our 
Christmas vacation here, but we really need to go back before everything 
really goes wonky."

	I nodded.  "A day or two at most.  Tomorrow, Jennifer and Bluey 
should get here and we'll head off to kick Martius' butt.  Then everything 
will be back to normal, more or less."

	"We're going riding with the Allens and Olivia and Angela's parents 
tomorrow," Mom said.  "Do you think you'll get back before we have to 
leave?"

	"I don't know."  I blinked.  "Angel's parents know how to ride?"

	"They want to learn, and George talked Olivia into it somehow,"  
Mom laughed.  "I remember I was reluctant too, but it was a lot of fun."

	We reminisced for a long time, and made various plans, and then I 
left to get some sleep.  I didn't get it; when I got to Angel's room, I found 
to my surprise that there was a massive strip poker party in progress.  It 
hadn't gotten very far, or I would have died of embarrassment, 
ESPECIALLY since Mom Cromwell, Angel's parents and Thomas' parents 
were in there too.  I could smell the alcohol, and I had a REALLY bad 
feeling about this.

	I would have gone and slept by myself, but Tanya spotted me, of 
course.  She, Mom Cromwell, Alex, and Irene were the most soused 
people in the room, but most of them looked pretty drunk, except for 
Angel, who looked somewhat embarrassed, and Thomas' mother, who 
looked amused.  "HARRY!  Come on down and sit on my lap!" she 
shouted, and most of the room laughed.

	Having already done my share of running away for one day, I came 
in.  "I can't believe you're all doing this!"  I was glad my folks were NOT 
with me.

	"Hey, it was my idea,"  Angel's Mom said.  I could tell she was 
either drunk or experiencing a personal earthquake.  "A way for us to all 
get to know each other!  Hey, Olivia!  Go get Harry's parents too."

	I could hear the angel of social death flapping his wings.  "Baaad 
idea."

	"Hey, I've seen 'em naked before!" Mom Cromwell said, laughing.  
"Down at Hippie Hollow!"

	Hippie Hollow is a sort of nudist bathing spot near Thornton.  I 
hadn't realized it was that old.  

	"Deal Harry in!"  Alex announced.  She was sitting in Irene's lap.  

	The urge to abandon all sense and join in was growing stronger; 
Tanya had her shirt off and was down to a bra and boxers (which I didn't 
think she wore), and a million thoughts about relieving her of that little 
clothing were coming into my mind.  From the way Angel was trying to 
stare at her cards and nothing else, I knew she was likely having similar 
problems.  I had to admit that Thomas' Mom was looking mighty fine as 
well.

	I had to do something, or there was going to be an orgy of ludicrous 
proportions.  Unfortunately, I didn't know any magical sobriety spells.  
And Mom Cromwell was getting up to go get my folks, which I was sure 
would be a one hundred percent disaster.

	I blocked the door with my body; it was a start.  "My folks do 
NOT do stuff like this."

	Mom Cromwell waggled a finger at me.  "I've got proof otherwise.  
We did some crazy stuff in college."  She stepped closer.  "And you know 
you want to do this."

	I did want to do it.  I also knew it was a baaaad idea.  For one thing, 
if someone had suggested going yak hunting, I would likely have said yes, 
at least for a few minutes.  If Mrs. Cromwell had suggested making out in 
the doorway, I was likely to say yes to that too.  I was really, really hating 
having to constantly struggle with myself.  

	A bucket of water would have been handy, but unfortunately, 
Angel didn't keep such things lying around the room. "You all...This is a 
bad, bad, bad idea!"

	"We're just having a little fun," Mom Cromwell said.  "No one's 
gonna get hurt or nothing."  She sauntered a little closer to me, and I backed 
up.  

	Trying to be logical with drunken people doesn't work.  "Do you 
REALLY think Mom's going to want to come here with a bunch of 
drunken people?" I said to her.  "She hasn't gotten drunk in my entire 
memory.  And Dad..."

	"Not going to seduce George," she said.  "I just wanna see him 
naked."  She giggled.

	An idea struck me; I could at least contain the damage.  I still had 
some of those seeds.  A few moments later, the door was sealed off with a 
wall of thorns.  Hopefully no one would need to use this hallway...

	"That's cheating!" she said.

	"Yep," I said.  

	"But now you can't leave either!"  Tanya said.  She ran up and 
dragged me over.  I gave in; I'd done the best I could do.  At least my folks 
wouldn't be dragged into this.  Luckily, they were all too soused to think 
of using the mirror on the wall to get out.  

	I'm a LOUSY poker player.  Luckily, the game went slowly 
because people kept doing silly things with their cards, fumbling them, etc.  
Also, whatever they were drinking was pretty potent.  Angel's father 
passed out first, and by the fifth hand, me, Angel, Tanya, and Thomas  
were the only people still conscious.  Well, Irene and Alex were semi-
conscious, but they were curled up in the corner trying to neck while on 
the verge of collapse, which made me feel incredibly jealous.

	Angel was the most clothed of us, although she was down to her 
underwear and socks and some jewelry.   I was, thanks to my lack of skill 
at poker, the least clothed, being down to my underwear, although Thomas 
was only more clothed than me in that he had a sock on.  Tanya hadn't lost 
anything since I'd arrived, except for a ring...how she can play poker well 
while drunk, I don't know.

	Tanya looked at her hand, "You might as well all get naked now," 
she said.

	Alex gave out a grunt, then her eyes closed and she and Irene lapsed 
into sleep.  I said, "Maybe we should stop and let everyone sleep."

	Tanya waggled a finger.  "Not until you're STARK NAKED," she 
said, giggling.

	"You're drunk!" I said, stating the obvious.  Drunk people NEED 
you to state the obvious.

	"Well, you would be too if you'd just have some...c'mon, I'll do a 
dance for you!"  She held out the bottle of pixie wine.

	I shook my head.  I don't drink if I know I'm drinking.  "No way."

	She dropped her cards, showing she had a royal straight, then 
crawled over to me.  "C'mon, Harry...just one little drink?"

	"No!"  So she sat in my lap.  "Tanya!"

	"Spoilsport.  Angel, sit in Thomas' lap."

	I looked over at her, and she looked at me, then giggled.  She wasn't 
drunk, just...you didn't need to drink when you're a faerie, I think, to act 
like you're drunk.  "You really wanna do this with your Mom sleeping on 
the floor ten feet away, Tanya?"

	She blinked, looked at her Mom, then blushed.  "Maybe this wasn't 
such a good idea.   I want...our first time...to be special."

	I glanced over at Angel, who blushed too.  "I just...I want..."  She 
started breathing harder.  "This is....aaaaah!"

	Tanya muttered something and waved her hands about.  She and 
Thomas both jolted, their postures straightening out.  "Instant sobriety 
spell.  We're gonna have the hangover from hell in a few minutes, but..."  
She looked around.  "Angie, you come with me.  Thomas, go with Harry, 
help him get to his room through the mirror."

	"I'll just get rid of the wall of thorns," I said.

	"Mom's gonna be confused in the morning," Tanya muttered.

	Thomas wanted to talk to me anyway.  We ended up at my room, 
where he said, "Sorry about that.  I never really thought Angie's parents 
would go along with it...I should have known mine would.  They once 
caught me with my girlfriend and gave me a lecture...on remembering to 
lock my door when we did that."

	I sat down at one of the chairs in my room.  "Mine would freak, I 
think...although..." I blushed at the memory.

	"So what exactly is up with you two and Alex?"  Thomas looked 
more serious than usual now.

	"We...She and Angie decided to seduce me and they did."

	"Uh huh.  I take it you didn't fight very hard."  He sounded faintly 
amused.

	"Well, no," I said, shifting uncomfortably in my chair.  "But then, I 
don't think I'd be able to fight very hard if Mom Cromwell tried to seduce 
me, either.  I'm just glad I don't drink."

	"I'd almost think she was fae herself at times," Thomas said.  
"So...what DO you think about Alex?"

	"She...I like Alex a lot.  I wish I could say I love her, but...not yet.  
I just...I used to hate her, but when you're on her good side, she's so...she's 
a wonderful person.  But I don't know what we're going to do.  Because 
once Angel's brain gets out of the spin cycle..."  I frowned.  Not that I 
knew what to do even if Angel did continue to want to have Alex as a lover 
afterwards...I couldn't marry both of them.  I assumed.  "Faerie law doesn't 
allow for multiple spouses, does it?"

	"Faerie law generally smiles on whatever kind of relationships you 
want to have.  Now, most political marriages contain clauses forbidding 
any further marriages in order to avoid diluting the strength of the alliance 
involved in the marriage.  Still, in theory, you could marry a thousand 
women and a thousand men at the same time.  But there's a lot of limits on 
that."

	Thomas began to tick off on his fingers.  "First of all, most faerie 
marriages are civil rather than religious.  The advantage is that civil 
marriages are easily ended and considered to dissolve if one of the partners 
is reborn as a mortal, although a short term death that only sends you to 
the Land of the Fallen doesn't dissolve it.  Civil marriages are usually 
political and sometimes magical.  The union of two fae in such a wedding 
can be combined with a rite that fuses their lands into a single faerie realm, 
although this isn't as common as you might think, since you can get 
seriously weird results."

	"Secondly, civil marriages are usually riddled with adultery simply 
because they are political.  Adultery is technically not a legal cause for 
divorce from a civil marriage because it's widely expected to happen in civil 
marriages.  In fact, it's pretty much accepted as standard."

	I boggled.  "That's just..."

	"Wrong.  Yeah, I know.  But I can understand why it's that way.  
It's hard enough for mortals to stay faithful...imagine if you'd been married 
to some shrew for three hundred years when you never wanted to marry 
her in the first place and then the lover of your childhood comes by for a 
visit and..."  He sighed.  "Everyone needs love, and political marriages that 
go on for centuries isn't the way to do it.  While civil marriages are easy to 
dissolve in theory, in practice it often leads to a feud.  Since adultery can't 
lead to any accidental pregnancies, it's accepted for men and women.  
Now, adultery with a political enemy of the other spouse DOES lead to 
trouble, but tends to be rare."

	"Bleah."

	"There's more.  Now, religious marriages are rare.  Most faeries 
would rather just take a lover for decades than marry each other in a 
religious ceremony.  The reason for that is that religious marriage lasts until 
true death.  Which means you can conceivably commit adultery and not 
know it.  And faeries with a religious marriage who commit adultery...are 
EXTREMELY frowned on.  It negates the whole point."

	I blinked.  "What?  Without knowing about it?"

	"To quote, 'Until Death Do Us Part'.  The faerie churches all pretty 
much interpret any reference to death in the Bible as refering to 'the final 
death'.  Because even being reborn as a baby only temporarily removes 
your memories of your past lives, they take the viewpoint that your 
marriage oath continues to hold.  Sure, you don't REMEMBER it, but..."

	"Eh, what?"

	"If you either choose to be reborn as a baby, which some do when 
they get bored of adult life and feel the need to refresh themselves, or
more commonly, if you're killed when mortals are present or by a mortal, you 
forget everything for as long as your mortal form survives.  While your 
faerie body is immortal, your mortal body ages normally as long as you are 
on the mortal plane.  Eventually, your mortal body either gets killed or 
dies of old age.  At that point, you find yourself in the land of the fallen, 
and you now remember any past lifetimes as a faerie."

	I nodded.  I'd been told this before, but it hadn't entirely sunk in, 
probably because it was weird to think about.  "So faeries are reluctant to 
get a church wedding because it's going to last forever and it's hard to get 
out of if after a thousand years or so, you can't get along anymore."

	"Right.  It's incredibly rare.  It does have one big advantage... It 
mutes your overactive faerie sex drive so it's easier to be faithful to each 
other.  Unfortunately, it does nothing to guarantee that you'll still LIKE 
each other after a few hundred years.  Faeries who have a successful 
religious marriage tend to be highly respected but also...seen as a little 
scary.  They make other people feel guilty for not being able to handle it 
themselves."

	I nodded again.  That was logical.  "What about if you have a 
church wedding on Earth?  Or marry a mortal?"

	"Well, a marriage to a mortal dissolves when the mortal dies.  And a 
church wedding on Earth is generally seen as a religious marriage.  
Anyway...so with regard to you and Alex and Angie... Technically, there's 
nothing to stop you from marrying both of them, or marrying me, and 
Tanya, and Irene and Donny and Kathy and Splinter and Opal if you 
wanted to.  It would just be a civil marriage, but you could do it.  Now, in 
practical terms...the Queen can't marry a mortal and marrying more than 
one husband has usually led to disaster in the past for both personal and 
political reasons.  Since Angie's going to be Queen one day, her marriage 
choice is an intensely political question.  Marrying you is fine, because 
your parents are major political figures.  Marrying Alex...that would send 
the Harpies into a frenzy without actually gathering any meaningful 
political support."

	"The who?"

	"You wouldn't think there would be any Faerie prigs, but... well, 
snobs is more like it.  They're obsessed with rank and protocol and noble 
bloodlines and all that rot.  They're called the Harpies even though half of 
them are male.  Sure, Alex is a Countess now, but if the Harpies can 
remember when you got your title, you're not good enough for them.  
They'd scream if Angie married Alex."

	I'd never really thought about the political aspects of it all.  "What 
other factions are there?"

	"A ton.  I'm not too up on court politics, but everyone knows 
about the Harpies because they have a high profile.  And of course, there's 
still the moral issues in all this.   Despite the fact that..."  He looked a little 
embarrassed.  "Despite the situation with the four of us, I really think 
monogamous relationships are best.  Although with Angie..."  He shook 
his head.  "I love Angie.  I want her...a lot.  But it's the first step down the 
road to where you end up sleeping with everyone you get a crush on.  I've 
done that, and...ugh, I hated myself and I couldn't stop.  Did I ever tell you 
about Jill Bond?"

	"You don't tell people much about your past, Tom," I said.  "All I 
know is that she was some ex-girlfriend of yours from high school, and I 
only know that because you sometimes tell us gaming stories from when 
the two of you used to game together.  Oh, and the story about how you 
two tried to drive to Mexico without any money and got stuck in 
Pennsylvania."  Thomas is from New York (the state, not the city).  

          "I never told you how Jill and I started dating?"

         I thought a minute.  "Nope.  She was one of your gaming buddies, 
right?"

         "She was my best friend Mike's sister.  She was a year younger than 
me, and we all went to the same school.  We'd all been playing RPGs since 
I was in seventh grade, and she was in sixth, so I was a sophmore and she 
was a freshman when it happened.  I'd known about my heritage since I 
was tiny, but I was a sophmore before I finally became able to assume my 
faerie form, although I'd been training in  magic since I was five.  About 
two weeks after that, I was going through all the whackoness that follows 
on that.  You know more about that than you want to, I'm sure."  He stood 
up; Thomas likes to move around and act things out when he tells stories.

         "Okay, so Mike, and Jill, and I are supposed to go to Baskin 
Robbins and get some ice cream after school, but then his mom just 
spontaneously grounds him.  She had just found out something he did two 
years earlier.  His mom was a total nut.  So Jill and I go to BR together and 
get some ice cream.  Jill was really quiet, and kinda shy.  She wore these 
hideously thick glasses so you couldn't see her eyes well, and she dressed 
like a  clone of her brother, who had the fashion sense of a gorilla.  Mike is 
cool, but he dresses like a beggar."  Thomas was pacing about, and he 
paused to do a gorilla imitation.  I laughed.

         "She had short red hair, shorter than Angie's, so short you'd almost 
think she was a boy, except that she had a rather nice figure.  Mike's 
family matures early.  Mike looked eighteen at sixteen, and she looked 
seventeen at fifteen.  I, on the other hand, looked fifteen at sixteen.  
Anyway, I'm digressing.  She had a lot of guy friends, but no boyfriends, if