TA'VEREN 1/2: TALES OF THE RONIN --- by John Walter Biles (rhea@maison-otaku.net) and Jeremy Blackman (loki@maison-otaku.net) --- DISCLAIMER/CAUTION This fanfic is a crossover between Rumiko Takahashi's Ranma 1/2, which you all should be familiar with by now , and Robert Jordan's _Wheel of Time_ series (8 books and growing!), which if you aren't familiar with, you should be. For shame. Go buy the whole set. Right now. Well, ok, finish this paragraph first. While it is not necessary to have read _Wheel of Time_ to enjoy this fanfic, if you have, we warn you that while we didn't follow the plot of Wheel of Time exactly (in fact, we plan to deviate pretty majorly by the time we reach the plot of book 3), obviously there will be some spoilers. Having warned you about that... *** CHAPTER 4 Tylor, The Most Irresponsible Man! *** Ranma was miserable. Not that this was particularly unusual of late. In fact, she reflected as she sneezed violently, it seemed about par for the course. In fact, she wouldn't be all that surprised if the Wheel of Time itself ran over her. At least then she wouldn't be stuck here in the rain. The freezing cold rain. And the mud. No, she wouldn't miss the mud. In fact, being dead was beginning to sound quite nice. It would probably be warm, at least. With a long-suffering sigh, she stopped slogging through the muck and leaned back against a tree, trying to stay dry under the shelter of its branches. This can't be happening, she told herself. Fanboys did not attack me. I didn't get doused with magic water. I'm not standing in the middle of Creator-knows-where, soaking wet, up to my shins in cold mud, following an obnoxious shriveled up Aes Sedai and her pet Warder to the ends of the earth. And most of all, I am NOT a girl! Cologne's voice drifted back through the rain. "Are you coming, girl? We haven't got all day." Ranma snarled. "I'm not a girl, you Aes Sedai ghoul!" She shivered, rubbing her arms to keep warm, accidentally brushed her chest, and finished rather lamely, "...I just, uh, look like one right now." "Boy, girl... I don't care what you are, child. If you don't catch up soon, you'll be a frog." Cologne's voice grew slightly fainter as she kept moving. Ranma, however, remained where she was. After all, the Aes Sedai wouldn't REALLY turn someone into a frog, would she? And even if she did, at least frogs didn't mind the rain. Cologne's voice drifted back. "If you're not back with the group within the next two minutes, I'm sending Soun back to get you. You don't want to have to end up tied to the horse to keep you going, do you?" Deciding that Cologne probably meant what she said this time, Ranma hurried onward through the thickening rain, ignoring the mud that sucked at her boots and splattered up along her clothes. Finally reaching the party, she gasped for breath while glaring at Cologne. "There. Are you... happy now?" she wheezed. Cologne looked back at Ranma levelly - or as levelly as someone who was two feet tall could. "You had fifteen seconds to spare, girl. You're getting better at keeping up." Ranma was about to comment, when Shinnosuke noticed her and blinked. "Hello." He smiled charmingly, transferring the jewelled broom to his left hand and holding out his right in greeting. "You're pretty cute... have we met before?" Then he hit the mud as Ranma decked him hard enough to knock him out as she muttered something incoherent, but which would probably have earned her a mouthful of soap had Hinako heard it. Hinako, meanwhile, was trying to confront Cologne. As her child-like self, she could almost look the Aes Sedai in the eyes. Petulantly, she intoned, "As the Wisdom of Nerima's Field, I demand that we go find Ryouga Aybara and Akemi al'Vere!" She gazed fiercely at Cologne, trying to stare her into submission. Ranma would have found the sight of the young girl in a glaring match with the living mummy funny if she hadn't been soaking wet and female at the moment. Cologne gazed back silently, and finally Hinako had to flinch away. Cologne made a small 'V' for victor with the fingers of one hand at Soun. "Still champion," she intoned dryly. Then she turned back to Hinako. "Child, there is no way to find them in this weather. They also know we are going to Caemlyn; we stand a better chance of meeting up with them there than we do tramping around this sodden forest trying to find them." She paused. "Or have you forgotten that there are fanboys chasing us?" Hinako fumed quietly, but subsided. She wasn't used to losing arguments, and wasn't sure how to deal with it. She was, however, getting a lot of practice - she hadn't come out on top in a discussion with Cologne yet. Mousse, who had remained silent throughout this, shook his head quietly. Assuming they all survived this, he'd have material enough for an epic saga, though he wasn't entirely sure anyone would believe it. Some of the fanciful ancient yarns about King Moroboshi sounded more realistic than what he'd lived through the past few weeks. He had led Shinnosuke and Ranma through the woods for several days after they fled Shady Logon, trying to elude the fanboys. This was made difficult by the fact that Ranma was sullen and withdrawn, and Shinnosuke kept forgetting where they were - or indeed, why they were even there. Mousse suspected that if Shinnosuke's name had not been pounded into his head since childhood, he'd probably forget that, too. After nearly a week of trying to keep them from falling into the sweaty hands of their pursuers, Mousse was actually glad to see the Aes Sedai and her Warder when they ran across each other. That had been several days ago, and the fanboys had been getting steadily closer ever since. Suddenly Soun cocked his head, motioning for silence. Then he turned back. "Fanboys. We must hurry..." Without waiting for a response, he lifted Shinnosuke's wet and muddy form off the ground where the boy still lay unconscious, and hefted him across his broad shoulder like a sack of grain. Sighing, the party trudged forward into the rain and haze, pursued by the eerie calls of the fanboys. ********************* Lt. Yamamoto was not a happy man. Though the Saldean Navy's recruiting slogan - 'Fanboys can't swim' - had been proven true many a time, the Saldean recruiting official who came up with that campaign obviously neglected to add '...but when properly prodded by a lagman, they're remarkably good at running along the bank of a river waiting for your boat to land.' For this was the situation that the Deus ex Machina found itself in. While Yamamoto found this turn of events highly disturbing, what was far more disturbing was the evident lack of worry that his captain displayed. In many crews, the captain choosing to take a nap during this situation would indicate that he had it well in hand and was extremely confident...the crew of the Deus ex Machina, however, knew their captain. While he had an uncanny ability to lead them out of disaster by doing nothing, he usually led them deeper into it first. When Bayle Tylor displayed even less motivation to do anything than usual - a difficult task, given that he often made granite look motivated - it was generally an omen that things were about to get worse. Not that he could picture how things could be WORSE, Yamamoto reflected. He shivered as he listened to the lagmen urging the fanboys on with promises of strange and mystic objects, such as 'inflatable Minmei', 'autographed cel', and other such Darkly named things. Presumably, all were artifacts of great and Dark power, and Yamamoto shuddered to think what would happen to them all if the the lagmen actually did give the fanboys these mystical objects. Not for the first time in recent days, he glared back at his captain, sleeping peacefully at the helm, and wished that he was still back in the Saldean navy. Or fighting Aiel. Or anywhere but on the Deus ex Machina. He'd considered trying to land and giving the lagmen back the little statue that Tylor had taken from them, but - being a practical man - he realized that the lagmen would merely take the statue and then give them to the fanboys. Unfortunately, if the boat got close enough to the shore to toss the statue to the bank, it would be close enough for the fanboys to wade out to. And Yamamoto thought it likely that tossing the statue into the river would only make the lagmen and fanboys angrier. He sighed to himself. No, it really could not get worse. Then Yamamoto was forced to admit he was wrong, as the entire boat was shaken by the force of an explosion somewhere further along the river. ********************* Cologne cursed in some foreign language as the fanboys gathered for another lunge at the party. They'd emerged from the woods along a river, only to encounter a huge group of fanboys already present, who wasted no time in attacking. The fanboys had acted quickly and blocked the only avenue of escape back into the woods, and were slowly forcing the party closer and closer to the river's edge. Though Ranma, Hinako, and Shinnosuke (who had regained consciousness some while back and pestered them with questions as to why they were out in the rain, until Ranma threatened to knock him out again) could not understand what she was saying, Cologne's expletives must have been fairly colorful, for Soun turned a deep red even as he kept fighting the fanboys. "Girl, at least use your father's sword to block their blows!" Cologne growled at Ranma. "I'm NOT a GIRL!" Ranma insisted back. "You'll be DEAD if you don't do what she says," Soun muttered over his shoulder. Ranma, conceding the point, pulled the panda-mark blade from its scabbard and nearly fell over. Apparently, though her female form was for some reason stronger than her male one, her sense of balance was still adjusting...and wielding a sword takes balance and precision. Not to mention that Ranma's skills as a swordsman had always been somewhat lacking. However, the Wheel of Time was kind, and she staggered around drunkenly with the sword and managed to block most of the blows directed at her. It helped that most of the fanboys were concentrating more on her ample chest than on her admittedly lacking sword work. Shinnosuke and Mousse stood back-to-back, trying to hold off their own set of fanboys. They were slightly harder pressed, as their chests did not provide a distracting factor for the fanboys. Shinnosuke parried several blows with his broom; Cologne noticed with a puzzled but approving gaze that his fighting style had improved markedly since Shady Logon. He was actually doing damage to the fanboys. Mousse, meanwhile, had whipped out a pair of chains with blades mounted on the end, and was whirling them out at the fanboys. One chain would wrap around the weapon of a fanboy and pull it from their grasp shortly before the blades on the end of the second sliced into the fanboy's arm. Mousse smiled quietly as he fought; now *this* was the material of which songs were written. "Eeeeeeeeee!" Hinako squealed as they were finally cornered at the very edge of the river. "That's it! I've had ENOUGH of you delinquents!" She whipped a small coin out of one of her belt pouches. "Wisdom Delinquent Punishing Attack!!" The resulting explosion could be seen for miles down the river in either direction, though it did leave a remarkable number of singed and unconscious fanboys scattered around the party. This was probably a good thing; the fanboys, who had a fondness for well-endowed women, would doubtless have gone berzerk when they saw Hinako now. Filled with the power she drained from them, she'd filled out into a much older woman and her previously slightly loose travelling clothes were now strained tight. Ranma and Shinnosuke had seen this many times before - though often from the receiving end - and Cologne remained impassive, but Soun seemed slightly taken aback, and had to catch his breath when glancing over at the changed Wisdom. Mousse, having lost his glasses in the explosion, didn't notice. "There. The delinquents have been dealt with," Hinako pronounced in a sultry tone. She turned and loomed over Cologne, enjoying the chance to abuse her height. "Now that the fanboys are taken care of, we will go and find Ryouga Aybara and Akemi al'Vere!" Soun turned, almost zombie-like, to obey Hinako. Cologne stuck her staff out in front of Soun, tripping him and sending him face-first into the mud. Impassive, she replied, "My argument is just as valid now as it was before, girl. And unless you want to face the fanboys who are still behind us - and moving this way quite quickly - I suggest we keep moving along the river. This group of fanboys was after someone else... I wonder who." The answer was provided a moment later as a boat floated down the river and into view. A huge man was standing at the railing, glancing suspiciously at the bank of the river. "You, on the boat!" Cologne shouted out. "We are travellers in need of aid!" The man at the edge of the boat shouted back, "There are fanboys and lagmen along the banks of the river. We can't afford a landing." Cologne gestured at the slightly charred fanboys lying around them in a circle. "As you can see, we've taken care of these ones. If we band together, we might be able to travel in more safety." Yamamoto gazed suspiciously over the railing at the shriveled up woman, the cute young girl, the beautiful woman, the Warder lying in the mud, the minstrel, and the boy with the mop. He didn't trust them, not at all. How could this motley bunch have defeated a group of fanboys? No, he didn't trust them at all. Better to keep them off the boat, better to have one less unknown. He opened his mouth to speak. "We..." "...welcome you aboard!" Yamamoto seemed almost to deflate at the familiar, dreaded voice. Captain Bayle Tylor had woken up from his nap. ********************* Yamamoto leaned against a wall, fuming silently to himself as he watched the newly aquired passengers converse among themselves. Not to mention the horses on the deck of the boat, who seemed about as happy to be on the boat as Yamamoto was about having them there. It wasn't his place to contradict the captain, he told himself. It was the captain's boat. The captain's decision. But oh, it would feel good to strangle Tylor... Oblivious to the sudden expression of bliss that passed across the daydreaming first officer's face, Tylor smiled lazily at Hinako. Hinako, however, had eyes only for Soun. Soun, for his part, was trying very hard to look anywhere but at Hinako, and was blushing heavily. "We need to reach Caemlyn," Cologne told Tylor, trying to draw his attention back away from Hinako's chest. "I'm willing to pay quite well." Tylor shrugged lethargically. "I'll take you as far as I'm going; to Whitebridge, no further. Too much trouble to help arrange any further transport since this river doesn't actually come within 500 miles of Caemlyn." He yawned. "And the SubNazis have been real active there lately, so I don't want to be there too long." Ranma started to open her mouth to protest that anywhere with SubNazis was the last place they wanted to be, but instead ended up merely bugging her eyes out and making a strangled gargling noise as Cologne whacked her foot with the heavy wooden staff. "That will have to be sufficient. Thank you," Cologne responded while Ranma nursed her injured foot and glared at Cologne. Had Ranma been an Aes Sedai, Cologne would probably have been incinerated on the spot. As it was, the force of Ranma's gaze probably took several years off of Cologne's considerable lifespan. Tylor nodded, and smiled slowly at Ranma. "As long as we're going to be travelling together, we should get to know each other!" Before he could react, he found himself treading water alongside the Deus ex Machina somewhat bewilderedly. "Pervert," grumbled Ranma. Yamamoto stared. Even if Tylor was a jerk... an obnoxious jerk... all right, a completely unbelievably obnoxious jerk... he was still the captain. It wasn't right to throw the captain overboard. And it was especially improper for a a young lady to do so. Still, perhaps Tylor had asked for it. Clearing his throat, he moved over to Ranma. "I'm sorry, miss... sometimes, the captain tries too hard with regards to girls. Especially when they're young, cute and... er, energetic." The next thing to go through Yamamoto's mind was that it was remarkable that a girl was able to hurl a seven-foot tall ex-officer of the Saldean Navy overboard. Not to mention, he reflected as he hit the water next to his captain, that most girls would have taken it as a compliment. Shinnosuke blinked at the fuming Ranma. "Wow. If you ran into Akemi in that mood, I'll bet for once you might not get the tar beaten out of you." He paused, remembering the monthly grouchiness that many of the women of the village experienced, and asked, "Is it your time of the moon?" As Shinnosuke sailed over the railing to join Tylor and Yamamoto, Ranma whirled and glowered at everyone else on deck. "Anyone ELSE have any comments?" she demanded. The crew made themselves busy and studiously ignored Ranma. Even Cologne was quiet for a change, though Mousse smiled slightly. This was a scene that would definitely make an amusing verse in the epic story this journey was turning out to be. ********************* The journey to Whitebridge took several weeks, during which time Tylor tried - despite Yamamoto's frequent suggestions not to do so - to hit on Ranma several more times. His attention was concentrated on Ranma because the beautiful lady he'd eyed earlier had to 'mysteriously depart'. Yamamoto and Tylor were fairly sure also that the young girl now travelling with the party before hadn't been there earlier, but for some reason, their memories were blurry on that point; perhaps one too many dunks in cold water of the river had addled their brains. That left the only females as Ranma and Cologne - and whether Cologne was female, or freeze-dried, was up for debate. (Yamamoto and Tylor, in agreement for the first time in recorded history, both cast their vote for 'freeze-dried'.) Ranma was extremely upset that she had to remain female, but Cologne insisted that as Ranma had been female when they got on board the boat, having one more of the members of the party vanish and be replaced by a male would be more likely to raise more questions. Specifically, more questions about Channeling which - as they were heading into the heart of SubNazi territory - were better left unvoiced. For someone unwilling to alter his route, Bayle Tylor was remarkably lackadaisical about actually going anywhere. As a result, the Deus ex Machina travelled about half the speed that any other riverboat would have. It seemed that only Yamamoto, of all the crew, had much motivation to do anything on time; when the wind changed, for example, the crew would wait until it was a little less chilly out before changing the sails. Ranma, who wanted nothing more than to get off the riverboat and turn back into a guy, was beginning to consider offering to get out and push if it would help the Deus ex Machina get there any faster. It seemed that on this boat, only meals happened at the correct time. Ranma and Shinnosuke, who both had voracious appetites, were grateful for small blessings. Ranma, in fact, ate so much that it initially prompted comments about it being amazing that she'd kept that girlish waist. The comments stopped shortly after the beatings started. For the duration of the voyage, Cologne and Soun kept to themselves, conversing quietly behind the backs of the others; presumably about deep, arcane things that were beyond the ken of mortals. Or maybe, as Mousse suggested, they were just playing a private game of poker. Ranma, who was convinced the Aes Sedai was not entirely sane, was willing to believe that theory. Hinako remained sullen and withdrawn after she reverted to her younger form. If Ranma hadn't known that Hinako resented the Aes Sedai and Warder, she'd almost have thought that Hinako was jealous of the old ghoul's close bond to the Warder, and was disappointed that he considered her just a child. Shinnosuke spent his time making several friends among the crew. In fact, he made friends with them several times, as he kept forgetting why they were on a ship or that he'd met any of the crewmembers before. Despite this, Mousse observed that the young memory-impaired boy seemed to be becoming steadily more and more... well, lecherous. It was getting to the point where Shinnosuke was hitting on Ranma almost as frequently as Tylor was; and ending up in the water almost as often. Perhaps the captain was a bad influence on the boy. As for Mousse himself, the minstrel simply observed all through the thick panes of his glasses. Though it might seem he was merely taking notes for his epic saga, there was something in his eyes when he looked at the Aes Sedai and her Warder that spoke of emotions hidden beneath his placid surface as he listened in to their conversations quietly. Though he had joked to Ranma about the private conversations, what he overheard was enough to make him ill. No child deserved to be taken to the Tower... The Aes Sedai was not concerned with the Minstrel, however, so she ignored his attentions. After all, it didn't matter whether he remained with the party or not. That was where matters stood when the Deus ex Machina finally arrived in Whitebridge. ********************* "What is your cargo?" The SubNazi officer tried, not for the first time, to gain Tylor's attention. Tylor, meanwhile, was daydreaming...not, Yamamoto reflected from his position nearby, that this was an unusual state for the captain. They'd arrived in Whitebridge to discover that a fairly large contingent of SubNazis had indeed settled into the town, and were waiting in the dock area. Thus Tylor was forced to deal with the paperwork of customs after all, because the SubNazis were apparently quite excited about something and were inspecting all ships. Well, the theory was that Tylor had to deal with the hassle of customs; reality was that customs was finding that they had to deal with the hassle of Tylor. The SubNazi standing on the deck of the Deus ex Machina was extremely frustrated; it was the evening, this was his last inspection of the day, and the captain was not cooperating. "Hrm?" Tylor glanced over at the SubNazi officer, and noticed the bulging veins in the man's forehead. "You know, you seem very upset. You should take a vacation; it's not good to get stressed out." He smiled lazily. The customs officer, turning even redder, appeared to be considering what the penalty would be for killing Tylor...and from his expression, his feeling was that it would probably be worth it. While Yamamoto could sympathize, Tylor *was* his captain, so he decided this would be a good time to step in. "We carry a load of cloth which we plan to unload here." He paused, glancing at the horse stamping the deck behind him, eager to get back to solid land. "In addition, we carried several passengers." The SubNazi turned to Yamamoto, relieved to be able to deal with someone who would at least pay attention to him. "The passengers will need to speak with several of our people when they disembark." He paused. "Your ship last made port in Saldea, correct?" When Yamamoto nodded, the SubNazi continued, "Then there is one more small matter. We're seeking a small seal, made of heartstone, which was last seen in the area around Maradon." Before anyone could react, Tylor blinked and pulled the heartstone seal out of his pocket, presenting it to the officer. "Is this it?" The SubNazi was rather stunned. He'd asked the question merely because he had been ordered to; he had certainly not expected to find the item on one of the ships he was inspecting... least of all this one! And to have it revealed without a fight was unbelievable. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to confiscate that," he said hesitantly. Tylor shrugged and handed it over. It was a nice trinket, but if it meant they could get through this obnoxious paperwork faster... "I thought it looked pretty, but it's too light to work as a paperweight, so you can have it." He yawned. "Are we done?" Yamamoto, caught by surprise, could merely gape like a fish caught out of water. He wanted to cry. Tylor had stubbornly held onto the seal, putting the ship at risk from fanboys and lagmen, only to hand it over to a mere customs officer? Lt. Yamamoto reconsidered his earlier action; perhaps letting the SubNazi strangle Tylor would have been for the best. "Uhm, yes, you can go." The SubNazi looked somewhat disbelievingly at the seal he held. This would almost certainly mean a promotion! He stood at the top of the ramp to the Deus ex Machina, dreaming of the glory and power that would come with this small seal, when he delivered it into the hands of his superiors. He was still standing there, starry-eyed, when Tylor called out, "Shore leave!" He was never quite sure what hit him after the crew trampled him to the plank flooring as they rushed down the ramp, boisterously shouting to each other about how drunk they were going to get. ********************* Ranma sighed as they stood in line with other travellers. She just wanted to get to an inn, boil some water, and turn back into a guy. And then take a bath. She didn't want to admit it to anyone, but she WAS getting used to this body, and had been reluctant to bathe back on the ship where there was little privacy, and an entirely male crew. Unfortunately, Cologne had insisted that their party be the last in line for some reason. She stood with Cologne, Soun, Shinnosuke and Hinako as they waited for the SubNazis to finish with the group of travellers in front of them. Mousse said he had seen a fellow minstrel he recognized and wished to talk to, and he and Cologne had agreed on an inn that they would all meet at later. Finally, it was their turn to speak to the SubNazis. Cologne said, "We have nothing to declare." The man stared at her. "You're alive? Not just a puppet?" Getting hit in the head with Cologne's staff hardly phased him. Grimacing, she said, "Of course I'm alive! We're from inside Andor, so we have no need to make a customs declaration." "And since when did the SubNazis run the Customs service in Andor, ANYWAY?" Hinako said loudly. "Get out of our way! If I don't get some ice cream soon, I'm going to explode!" Patting her on the head would have CERTAINLY made her explode if Cologne hadn't knocked the coin out of her hand before she could use any of her delinquent punishing techniques on him. "Pardon my great-granddaughter," she said. "She's jumpy from the trip." The SubNazi smiled, a rare event. Reaching in his pocket, he pulled out a coupon for some ice cream at 'Whitebridge Lemon Sherbet and More'. "Here you go, little girl." He turned back to Cologne. "Right. Ne..." Then someone caught his eye. One of the people looked like...the boy. A tall boy who was compulsively sweeping the dock clean with a jeweled broom. Clearly stolen. More importantly, Bato Robis recognized the boy. They had met at Baerlon. He was a Dubfriend! "So boy, you thought you could slip one past...BATO ROBIS?" He loomed over Shinnosuke. Shinnosuke looked up. "Do I know you?" He frowned. "You assaulted me on the streets of Baerlon and dared to speak in defense of..." He paused. Actually, he couldn't quite remember what the boy had done, but it had to be bad. "Everyone! GRAB HIM!" Cologne sighed. She pointed down the street. "Look! Someone's got a copy of Warriors of the Wind!" The SubNazis froze in horror and turned to look. Cologne shouted, "Follow me!" She took off down the docks with the rest of her band following close behind her. The SubNazis, being only mostly stupid, soon turned and gave chase. The streets of Whitebridge collapsed into anarchy as the group ran hither and yon, knocking down wagons, kicking over barrels, and twice running across rooftops without being sure how they got onto the roof. Finally, they reached the Whitebridge itself. It was a huge arch of white soapy stone, built by Aes Sedai millenia ago, possibly even before the Breaking of the World. It arched over the Tomobiki river and had done so for endless ages. As they charged up the bridge, they could see a group of Subnazis putting up a roadblock in front of them, rolling barrels and bales of hay into place. Behind them, Bato Robis led a screaming horde. In the middle, Hinako asked, "How did the SubNazis get control of a town in the middle of Andor, anyway?" Everyone in the universe paused for a moment of exposition. "The nations grow weaker and dwindle. The Two Rivers haven't seen a tax collector in six generations. Baerlon is held only because it has gold. The Queen's guards rarely go west of Four Kings anymore," Soun said. "Queen Lum is a good Queen, but she has less resources. Probably the SubNazis bribed the local governor. Or they may have just taken over the town." "The local governor just joined us!" Bato Robis interrupted, jogging in place. "Can we get on with this?" "Ahh, right. Just wondering," Hinako said. She pulled out another coin. "Wisdom Delinquent Punishing Attack!" Energy erupted out of the unfortunate would be-barricade making SubNazis and flowed into Hinako, who grew to full adulthood. She smiled and turned to the ones chasing her. "You want what they got?" she said with a sultry voice. "Bato Robis fears NO ONE!" He charged forward, while his men expressed their support by running far, far away or jumping into the river. Hinako was about to blast him to kingdom come when Cologne casually stuck her staff through the coin and hooked it away as well, then tripped Bato with her staff, sending him into the river. "Foolish girl. You've likely sent a signal to every lagman in a hundred mile radius. They can smell that. Now, we have to get out of here and fast." Hinako frowned. "If that attracted lagmen, the Two Rivers would be overrun with them." Cologne said, "Tell her, Soun." He was too busy gazing upon her cleavage, however. She sighed and said, "There's at least five clubs of fanboys. And lagmen can sense when you use the Power." "I do not use the Power!" "Do too!" "Do not!" This went on for a while, until Ranma said, "Sorry to interrupt you, but the Subnazis are getting back up." Hinako pulled out another coin. "I'll fix that." Splash. The second coin hit the river as Cologne knocked it aside. "How many coins do you HAVE?" "Will you STOP that?" "STOP FIGHTING! THEY'RE COMING!" SubNazis to the front of them. SubNazis to the back of them. Bravely ran the five hundre...um, the group looked around in a panic. "What now?" Hinako said to Cologne. "Oh wise one?" "Blast them." Hinako rolled her eyes and raised the coin, only to see five hundred fanboys charging down the streets of the city, led by ten or so lagmen. Well, sometimes led by them. The fanboys kept surging ahead, then the lagmen would cover a hundred paces in a second. Bato swam out of the river. "Fanboys! KILL THEM! KILL THEM ALL!" The SubNazis charged past our little band of heroes (or something) and launched into the fanboys without fear for loss of limb or sanity. While outnumbered, they fought with the bravery of the truly stupid. Cologne said, "Run." "We can't just leave them to die!" Ranma said, looking at the mob. "They won't die," Cologne said. "Although the SubNazis will likely WISH they were dead by the end of the day. Now, RUN!" The last thing that Ranma heard was someone shouting, "I, DAMARAMU, can not be hurt by such a puny attack! You missed all my vital spots." He appeared to have an arrow stuck through his head. **************** Mousse, departing Whitebridge in a different direction, heard the shouting at the other end of town, but steadfastly refused to turn back. He told himself that the children could take care of themselves; he'd have no part of bringing them to the cursed Tower... End Chapter 4.