(Part 3)--If this is Tuesday, it must be Nerima. (We see Toshiba Mitoshi, mercenary truant officer laid up in the hospital. He is talking to himself.) Toshiba: That fool principal never warned me there were two onis. Well, this time I'll be ready. No one makes a fool out of Toshiba Mitoshi! No one! (He is standing on his bed, leg in a cast holding his cane to the sky. Lightning crackles around him. Then he collapses moaning) I shouldn't have stood on my leg. Nurse: Mr. Toshiba, if you call down lightning in this hospital one more time today... Toshiba: Sorry. (We see the Miyaki house. It has a walled-in yard. Ryouga is sitting in the front yard. Shinobu-oni is flying down from her room window with a teapot trailing steam, her school uniform, and a towel. She lands behind some bushes where we can't see her. Clothing flies everywhere. We see her arm with the pot. Obviously, she is pouring the water on herself.) Shinobu: OWW!! Too hot! (Then the towel at work, arm snakes out and grabs clothes. She steps out dressed in her school uniform. However, she is also wearing a red and black tiger striped bandana that somewhat resembles Ryouga's bandana. She hides the towel and tea pot in the bushes.) Shinobu: We'll come back for those later. I hope the school didn't call home. Ryouga: This is very nice of you, but... Shinobu: Don't worry. Mom and Dad will be happy to meet you. Ryouga: And tomorrow we go to Furinkan? Shinobu: That's right. Learning some self-defense would be a good idea. Ryouga: (mumbles to himself) In Furinkan, you certainly need it. Part 3: Still Waters Run Deep A UY/Ranma fanfic using material from the wonderfully warped mind of Takahashi Rumiko. by John Biles (The Miyaki family is gathered around the dinner table. Ryouga is stuffing himself. Shinobu looks happier than usual. She keeps glancing over at Ryouga.) Ryouga: This is very good. Thank you for your hospitality. Mr. Miyaki: Shinobu tells us you are a student of Kenpo? Ryouga: Yes. I am learning to be a master of Kenpo like my father. I hope to have my own dojo one day. Mrs. Miyaki: You are studying with a master in Furinkan? Ryouga: I travel a lot, but I have studied with several masters in Furinkan. Shinobu expressed some interest in learning some self-defense techniques. Shinobu: I saw him fight Lum earlier today. It was really impressive. Ryouga: Well, it wasn't much of a fight... Shinobu: You're about the only person I've ever seen successfully dodge her lightning. And you saved me from getting zapped, too. (Her face is almost shining at Ryouga) Mr. Miyaki: What brought you to Tomobiki? Ryouga: I bought the wrong map, so I got lost. Mrs. Miyaki: How expensive is this master, uh... Ryouga: Tendo. He is named Tendo Soun. He is very good. I'm sure it won't cost too much... Mrs. Miyaki: It is very nice of you to go to all this much trouble for our daughter. Ryouga: (Blushes a little) It was nothing. Mr. Miyaki: So how did you two meet? Ryouga: Uh well.... Shinobu: It was like this... (Cut to the Morobishi house. Ataru is up in his room. He is holding two movie tickets and staring at them.) Ataru: I've got to meet this Ranma character. I'll have to trail Shinobu and Ryouga tomorrow. Anyone with three fiancees has got to be my kind of guy. But before then I've got to find a way to sneak out of the house without Lum noticing so I can go to see this movie with someone...Shinobu, Ran, Ryuunosuke, Akemi, Fujiko, who? Who will I call? Lum: (suddenly behind him) Who will you call what, Darling? Ataru: (tries to hide the tickets) (sings--badly) Who will I call? (normal voice) Its' part of some song that I... Lum: (grabs tickets) OOHH! Movie tickets! Let's go, darling! Ataru: Wait! I... (too late. She's out the window with Ataru, flying off to the movie theatre) Ataru: (thought:)[Well, maybe I can parlay this into goodwill for tomorrow. Hmm...] (Later in the theatre. The theatre is full. They are sharing a popcorn bucket, but Ataru is eating most of it. Lum has her head on his shoulder. Ataru gets an a-ha look and puts his right arm around her shoulders.) Lum: This is so romantic, Darling. Ataru: Lum-chan. Lum: Yes, darling! Ataru: Would you like to take a little vacation trip tomorrow? Lum: (Big smile) Yes, darling! Ataru: Good. Lum: Where are we going? Ataru: It's a secret. (A big guy with his hat pulled down over his eyes gets up behind Ataru and bellows:) Big Guy: Will you shut up, I can't hear the movie! Most of Audience: Now we can't hear the movie! Lum: You'd better be quiet! Audience: What she said! Big Guy: (sits down grumbling) What's this place coming to letting onis into the building....hmph. Ataru: (evil smile. Thought:)[Just according to plan. When we get to Furinkan, I'll give her the slip.] (Scene cut to the Tendo dojo.) (We see Mr. Tendo hanging up the phone and returning to the dinner table. Kasumi, Genma, Ranma, Akane, and Nabiki are there.) Tendo Soun: I will be meeting a possible new student tomorrow. Ranma: What's his name? Mr. Tendo: HER name is Miyaki Shinobu. She lives in Tomobiki. Apparently Ryouga recommended her to me. Kasumi: I didn't know Ryouga was dating someone. Mr. Tendo: (Puzzled) I didn't say he was dating her. Genma: She's willing to come all the way from Tomobiki? She must really be dedicated to learning martial arts. Akane: I want to meet her. Mr. Tendo: You'll all get to meet her. She'll be here at 1:00 pm tomorrow. Ranma: Not if Ryouga is trying to get her here. Akane: You shouldn't insult Ryouga like that. Nabiki: If we're lucky, they might show up tomorrow. Genma: Ranma, why don't you and Akane meet them at the train station tomorrow? Ranma: I was going to... Soun: Yes. That would be an excellent idea. They should spend more time together. Akane: Father! Ranma: We already spend more time together than I can stand. (Wham! Akane whaps his head with a nearby chair) (cut to the Tomobiki train station. Ryouga and Shinobu are waiting for the train. Lum and Ataru walk in. Ryouga and Shinobu have their backs to A&L. Shinobu is wearing shorts and a t-shirt and her red and black tiger striped bandana. Ataru is also in shorts and a t-shirt. Lum is dressed up a bit in a big floppy hat and a short tiger-striped dress). Lum: Why are we taking the train, Darling? We could get there much faster in my... Ataru: I want it to be a surprise. This way, you won't know until we get there. (thought) [and won't know where to look for me when I slip off] Lum: Look, it's Shinobu and Ryouga. Ataru: (thought) [This will make things easier. I can just follow...But how will I lose Lum?] Yes, it is. Shinobu (Turns around) Hey, it's Ataru and Lum. Hello! Lum: Hello, Shinobu. Hello, Ryouga. Where are you going to? Shinobu: We're on our way to Furinkan to meet some people. Where are you going? Lum: Darling says it is a surprise. We're taking a mini-vacation. Shinobu: (thought) [He looks like he's up to something.] Ryouga: I'm off to introduce Shinobu to someone who can teach her some self-defense moves. Ataru: That Tendo character? Ryouga: You should speak of Tendo-sensei more respectfully. Ataru: Isn't he the guy who engaged his daughter to a man with three fiancees? Ryouga: Uh, well...yes, but he didn't know... Ataru: Sounds like my kind of guy. (train arrives, they start getting on.) Ryouga: He is a very good martial artist. I'm sure he will train Shinobu as well as he trained Akane...(drifts off into a reverie.) Ataru: (leer) Ever notice how he drifts off every time he starts taking about this Akane. I think he's in love with her. Lum: You may be right, Darling. (The train is ready to go. Ryouga is still standing outside the train, fantasizing. Shinobu looks a little irritated.) Shinobu: Come on, Ryouga. (Grabs him, pulls him on board) (They sit down together. Ryouga is still entranced.) Shinobu: Are you okay? Ryouga: A..Akane? (Shinobu bonks him with his own umbrella) Shinobu: I am not Akane! Wake up. Ryouga: I...How did I get on the train? (looks around) At least I haven't lost myself completely yet. Lum: (to Ataru) Can we tag along with them for a while? I want to meet this Akane who has Ryouga so entranced. (thought)[Then maybe I can learn how to entrance Ataru like that] Ataru: Okay. I'll save the surprise for another day. (Thought)[Amazing. She's playing right into my hands. She'll go girl-talk with Akane and I'll be able to talk to Ranma and learn all his girl-chasing secrets. I wonder if he is as handsome as I am.] (Cut to the Train station. Akane and Ranma are standing around waiting for the train and trying not to get too impatient. It isn't working.) Ranma: We're missing lunch. Akane: Can't you wait ten minutes without getting hungry? Ranma: It's lunch time. Akane: Well, I didn't have time to make us anything because you slept late. Ranma: Thank goodness! Akane: Are you saying that... Ranma: you can't cook? Why yes, I was. Akane: Ranma no Baka! (She takes a swing at him, only to strike a giant spatula instead. Ukyou is there with an okonomiyaki for Ranma.) Ukyou: Ran-chan, I brought you some lunch. (He grabs it and starts munching.) Akane: I'm hungry too. Ukyou: Here's yours. (It is the blackest Okonomiyaki in the history of the Earth. Ukyou pulls out a third non-black one and starts eating.) Akane: Why is my okonomiyaki black? Ukyou: Well...It burned while I was preparing Ran-chan's and... Akane: RRRR....(She sits and eats her burnt Okonomiyaki) Stupid cook...I would never serve someone burnt food. Ranma: Well, not burnt FOOD anyway. Akane: What's that supposed to...(The 1:00 pm from Tomobiki pulls in. People stream off the train) That's their train. Ranma: Five will get you ten that Ryouga got on the wrong train. Ukyou: Only if this Shinobu character is as lost as he is. Ranma: Five will get you... Ukyou: You sound like Nabiki! (Lum, Ataru, Shinobu and Ryouga emerge from the train.) Ukyou: Looks like Ryouga picked up some extra people along the way. Akane: I wonder which one is Shinobu. Ranma: It looks like both the women buy their clothes where Ryouga buys his bandanas. (Ryouga and Company start to wander off the platform in the wrong direction.) Ranma: I knew it. Akane: Ryouga! over here! Ryouga: Eh? (looks around, sees Akane. Changes direction heading for her. The others realize he has turned and follow suit.) (Everyone stares at each other for a moment.) Ukyou: So who are your friends, Ryouga? Ryouga: Ah. This is Ataru Morobishi (points) and Redet Lum.(points) And... Shinobu: (gloms onto Ryouga's arm) I'm Miyaki Shinobu. They're friends of mine from school. Ranma: (staring at Lum) Do you have...horns under your hat? Lum: I'm very proud of my horns. Ranma: But why do you... Lum: All Onis have horns. Akane: Onis? Lum: I am an alien princess from the planet Oniboshi. I am married to Ataru. Ataru: I am not your husband! Lum: Yes, you are. You proposed to me, remember. Ataru: That was a mistake! I want to marry someone...someone like (looks around. He sees Ukyou. He stares for a moment) like her! (gloms onto Ukyou) Ukyou: Hey, what are you doing? Lum: Darling, let go of that woman! Ukyou: Get off me (She tries scraping him off with a spatula. No dice. She starts pounding him with her giant spatula.) Ranma: Get off her, you lech. (He tries to grab Ataru off her, but only succeeds in lifting them both into the air.) Shinobu: Let me handle this. (She grabs Ataru and Ukyou out of Ranma's hands, then puts her hands between them and pries them apart. Ataru flies across the room, as does Ukyou) oops. Lum: Darling, if you do that again... Ranma: Wow, you're strong. Shinobu: (blushes a little) It was nothing. Ranma: Are you okay, Ucchan? Ukyou: (gets up, comes back) I've had worse Ataru: (looks completely unhurt) I just want to share my love with you. Ukyou: (swats him flat with the big spatula) I just want you to stay off me. I'm engaged after all. Ataru: to who? Ukyou: (gloms onto Ranma) I am Kuonji Ukyou and this is my fiancee Saotome Ranma. Akane: He isn't your fiancee, he's mine! Ataru: You must be Tendo Akane. Akane: How did you guess? Ataru: The famous Saotome Ranma. Ryouga told us all about you. Ranma: Everything? (He looks fearful) Ataru: Yes, everything. I want to know how... Ranma: Ryouga! You idiot! Why did you tell them about that? Ryouga: But everyone knows about... Ranma: (slugs Ryouga off the platform through a wall.) I don't tell everyone about your little secret! Bastard! (Charges after Ryouga) Ryouga: ...your fiancees. (Ranma doesn't hear him. Kicks him cross-country, then bounds after him) Ukyou: Wait up, Ran-chan. I'll help you.(takes off after them) Ataru: (takes off after them) Wait! Ranma, I want to talk to you... (Shinobu is about to take off too when Akane stops her) Akane: They'll be okay. They fight all the time. I don't know why Ranma got so mad, unless...(Sudden light of realization) Lum: What? Akane: I can't tell, unless...What did Ryouga tell you about Ranma? Lum: Well, they don't get along very well. His father is a "thief and the disciple of a lech". Ranma has three fiancees and...there was something else. Shinobu: I don't remember either. Akane: Well, lets' go to the dojo. The boys will find their way back home eventually. Lum: So who is Ranma's third fiancee? Akane: A chinese bimbo named Shampoo who runs a ramen restaurant. Shinobu: Is Ryouga engaged to anyone? Akane: I don't think so, although...No. Shinobu: Good. (they head out.) (We see the cavalcade of Ryouga, Ranma, Ataru and Ukyou devastating its way across town. Finally, they chase each other into a park. ) Ryouga: I can't fight Ranma and Ukyou at the same time. I need an edge... Ranma: Come back here you coward! Ataru: Slow down! (Huffing and puffing) Ukyou: Don't run much, do you? Ataru: I run all the time, but normally I'm the one being chased. (Ryouga jumps into a tree and starts going tree to tree. Ukyou and Ranma follow him while Ataru runs after them on the ground.) (Ryouga spots Kunou, who is walking in the park.) Ryouga: (leaps down) Kunou, Ranma just called you an idiot! Kunou: That barbarian! Come down here and taste my wrath, Saotome! Ranma: (Jumps down) I haven't got time for you. I have to settle accounts with Ryouga! Kunou: You have insulted me for the last time! (He strikes, Ranma parries the blow, then kicks his legs out from under him. He leaps past Kunou, who strikes him in the back and gets up. Ranma falls.) Ranma: Now, I'm angry! (Ryouga takes off chased by Ukyou, while Ataru sits and rests.) Kunou: How awful.(He strikes again, Ranma easily dodges his blow, and the second, and the third. Kunou pauses for a breath, and Ranma strikes low and kicks Kunou into a trash can.) Ranma: You look good in garbage, Kunou. Kunou: (Throws the lid at Ranma. Ranma jumps over it. It hits Ataru, who passes out) You've ruined my new clothing, Saotome! Ranma: Well, now it stinks as much as you do at fighting! Kunou: AAHHHH!!!!!(Runs straight at Ranma who sidesteps and lets Kunou run into a tree.) Ranma: Now to get....(Ryouga is out of sight.) Hey, Ataru, did you...You're out too. (Shakes him) Wake up. Ataru: (briefly fuzzy vision as he wakes) Ryouga? Ranma: Where is he? Ataru: I...what? Hey, Ukyou and Ryouga ran off. Ranma: I hoped you saw where they went. Ataru: Why were you two fighting anyway? Is it that embarrasing to let people know you have three fiancees? I'd kill to have three fiancees, especially if they're all as gorgeous as Ukyou. (drools just a bit) Ranma: Is that all he told you? Ataru: Well, you knocked him in the cursed pool, and he doesn't think very highly of your dad, and.... Ranma: AND? AND? Ataru: I think he's in love with one of your fiancees. Ranma: I knew that. Did he tell you about... Ataru: About what? Ranma: So you know about Ryouga falling in the cursed pool... Ataru: He just said it was your fault, and now he turns into a pig. Ranma: Don't tell Akane. She doesn't know, and I promised him no one would tell her. Ataru: Do me a favor and I won't tell. Ranma: What? Ataru: I want to know how to get three fiancees. I want to have my own harem one day and... Ranma: It isn't worth it. Ataru: I want to find that out for myself. Tell me everything... Ranma: Well, it all started with my dad and Akane's dad training together under this total pervert of a sensei named Happosai... (At the Tendo house, the panda, Soun, Shinobu, Akane, and Lum are in the training hall.) Soun: So Ryouga recommended that you train under me? Shinobu: Yes. He said you were the only sane martial arts master he knew, except for his dad, and his dad is still lost. Panda: (sign){I am not insane}. Lum: Your panda is literate? Akane: Yes, Ranma's father trained it. Soun: Have you had any training before? Shinobu: Well, no. I have done a lot of fighting, but not by my own choice usually. Lum: Unless you count getting angry and hitting Darling with desks. Shinobu: He ALWAYS deserved it. Akane: You can pick up a desk and hit someone with it? Shinobu: (Blushes a little) I am pretty strong. Soun: Let's see how you fight now and how strong you are. Try to hit me. Shinobu: Okay. (She gets into a sort of boxing stance, then lashes out with her right fist. Soun easily dodges the blow.) Soun: Again. (An identical punch. Soun blocks it this time quite casually.) Soun: Again.(A left hook this time. Soun dodges. This goes on for quite a while. Shinobu throws only a few kinds of punches, and Soun easily avoids them all. Shinobu is getting frustrated.) Shinobu: Stand still and let me hit you. Panda: {The wise fighter flows with his opponent's blows} Soun: Exactly. (Shinobu lunges at him. He leans back and simultaneously hooks her feet. She falls forward; He jumps back.) Shinobu: AAARRGH! (She runs at him. He vaults over her head. She crashes into the panda and bounces off. Then she grabs the panda and throws him at Soun who is turning around) Panda: {My apologies} (He crashes into Soun.) Shinobu: AAAHHHH!!!!(Runs right at them. The panda claps her ears right as she punches the panda. He flies across the dojo and through the wall. Soun stands up.) Soun: Impressive, but the task was to hit me. Shinobu: I hit you with the panda! Soun: Hmm...You are strong, but you get angry too easily and lose control. Much like my daughter Akane. Akane: DAD! (Looks a bit miffed) Soun: It is true. While Ranma has a tendency to show off too much when he fights, you sometimes get angry and lose control. That is when you are beaten. Self-control is the essence of martial arts. (Kasumi comes in) Kasumi: I'm sorry, Father. Something broke in the oven and the cake I was baking was ruined. Soun: NO!! (Tears run down his face.) Ruined...I was so looking forward to that cake. (Cries with his face in his hands.) Kasumi: Don't cry, Daddy. Lum: Self-control, huh. (Ranma and Ataru are heading for the Tendo house. Ranma is walking up on a fence, while Ataru is on the ground) Ranma: So are you really married to the..uh... Ataru: Oni. Ranma: Uh, yes. Ataru: No. She just thinks we are married. She misunderstood me when I was proposing to my girlfriend, and thought I had proposed to her. At least you can play yours off against each other. Lum drives all mine away... Ranma: I don't want three fiancees! Ataru: Then why don't you commit to one of them if you don't want three? Ranma: I...uh..well...er... Ataru: I see. You don't want any of them? Ranma: No! Uh yes, well... Ataru: You do want all of them? Ranma: No. I don't want three.... Ataru: You want only one, but you can't get the other two to give up? Ranma: Well... Ataru: (He briefly looks like Sherlock Holmes) Well, Watson. I think you've hit the nail on the head. Ranma: I didn't say that! Ataru: Then I'll just have to figure out which one it is... Ranma: Eh? Ataru: So I can take the other two for myself! (Ranma facefaults) (Back at the dojo, Ukyou walks in holding P-chan, who is wet.) Akane: P-chan! Ukyou: I was chasing Ryouga and I found P-chan swimming in someone's pool, so I brought him to you. Is Ranchan here yet? Lum: Where is Darling? Ukyou: Darling? Lum: Ataru. He was with Ranma and you. Ukyou: I guess he and Ataru are having a man-to-man talk or something. Shinobu: Ataru is probably trying to find out how to get more fiancees like Ranma has. Soun: Ranma only has one fiancee: Akane. Ukyou: Ha! I'm his real fiancee. Akane: You are not! Lum: I'm going looking for Darling before he gets any bad ideas from Ranma. (She flies out the window. Everyone except Shinobu stares at her.) Akane: She..she.. Ukyou: ...flew out the window. Shinobu: It happens all the time. Get used to it. Soun: All the time? Kasumi: She must be an oni. Shinobu: How did you.... Kasumi: I saw the horns, and she flew. She had to be an oni. I like her hair. Maybe I should get streaks like that. (everyone stares at her. P-chan chooses this moment to slip off.) Kasumi: She has pretty hair. I was just thinking about it. Soun: Ukyou, I'd like you to show off your fighting style for Shinobu. Akane, if you would be willing to spar with Ukyou for a while. Akane: No problem. I'll beat this false fiancee any day of the week. Ukyou: I'll make okonomiyaki out of you. Akane: Yaah! (Jump kick at Ukyou, who sidesteps and accelerates Akane with her big spatula. Akane lands. Ukyou pelts her with spatulas. Akane blocks them all without even looking, spins, and carefully advances on Ukyou.) Soun: (to Shinobu) Akane is a very intuitive fighter. She uses an unarmed style. (The two warily circle, then Ukyou tries a swing with her spatula. Akane blocks it, then tries for a punch, which Ukyou dodges. The fight continues as Ukyou uses the spatula to keep Akane out of arm's reach.) Soun: Ukyou usually has the reach on her opponents. (Akane rolls and comes up next to Ukyou and lands a hail of blows on her. Ukyou staggers, then spins the butt of the spatula and strikes Akane, who staggers back away from her.) Soun: But up close she is in trouble. Shinobu: This could go on for quite some time. They're really good. Kasumi: They get a lot of practice. (Cut to Ranma and Ataru, who are most of the way back to the Tendo house. We see Lum flying way overhead looking for them,then zoom down to the grounded duo. Shampoo suddenly drops down from somewhere onto the fence and rides up behind Ranma trying to grab him. Ataru stares at her in awe.) Ataru: Heh, heh. More beauties! (He runs at her) Ranma: Hey, not on the fence! (He falls off the fence and tumbles down the slope into the canal.) Shampoo: (Hops bike off fence and looks down into the canal. She jumps back up on the fence) Are you ok, Ranma? Lum: Darling! (divebombs towards Ataru.) Ataru: (almost to Shampoo who can't see him) OOHHH BAYBY! (Ranma caught himself just in time to stay out of the water. He stands.) Ranma: Watch where you're going, Shampoo! (Ataru grabs onto Shampoo who is quite surprised. She tries to turn around as Ranma starts up the slope.) Shampoo: Mousse! Let go of...you're not Mousse! Ataru: I prefer my hair the natural way, baby! And I like my women like... Lum: ATARU NO BAKA! (ZAAAPPP!!!! Ataru collapses, Shampoo topples back, strikes Ranma, both fall in Canal. Splash! Instant Ranma-chan and Shampoo-cat.) Ranma-chan: How will I explain this one? Shampoo-cat: Meow? Ranma-chan: AAAHHHHH!!!!(streaks up slope chased by wet Shampoo-cat. He leaps the fence and runs over Ataru, who is standing up.) Ataru: I like red heads! Come back to me, sweetie! (He is in full pursuit) Lum: That woman looked like Ranma. Come back, Darling! (She gives chase.) Ranma-chan: Great. A cat, a lech, and a crazed flying woman are after me. It couldn't get any worse than this. (Happosai steps out from around a corner) Happosai: Darling Ranma-chan! (opens arms wide) Come to me! Ranma-chan: Me and my big mouth. (Back to the Dojo. The fight continues. A whole crowd of people has shown up to watch. Nabiki is selling soda and popcorn to the crowd. Shinobu, Mr. Tendo, and the Panda are sitting in judges' chairs at one end of the Dojo. We see the womens' martial gymnastic team cheering for Akane, while the Cooking club is cheering for Ukyou.) Shinobu: Do you always get this big a crowd? Soun: Only for grudge matches, but there are a lot of grudges around here. (Akane rolls away from Ukyou, then charges straight at her. She looks wide open and Ukyou swings her spatula around, only to see Akane suddenly jump into the air, land on the top of the moving spatula, and kick Ukyou in the head. Ukyou goes flying and drops her big spatula. Akane follows up driving her towards the crowd. Then Ukyou jumps away from her.) Ukyou: Storm of a thousand spatulas! (Suddenly, there is a horde of tiny spatulas swarming around her, battering Akane, who finally turns and flees the cloud of utensils. ) Akane: (mutters...)Drat. I wish I could do something like that... Shinobu: How did she do that? Soun: Ukyou has learned a secret of focusing her KI, the energy which flows through all living things. Those who master their ki can produce amazing effects. Unfortunately, Akane has never been able to master any of the most powerful techniques because she has not been able to master her ki. Shinobu: The way I get stronger when I get mad? Soun: Exactly. Until Akane can master some such technique, she will lack the control she needs to become a true master of her art. (Ukyou gets her spatula and closes in on the battered Akane. Akane is clearly in trouble. Ryouga chooses this moment to return, having apparently finally found some hot water. He is horrified to see Ukyou closing in on Akane. However, at this point the doors fly open and Ranma-chan runs into the dojo.) Ranma-chan: Ucchan, help! (Ukyou turns to see what is going on, as does Akane. Now Happosai and Ataru run into the room after Ranma-chan, followed by Shampoo-cat and Lum. Lum starts tossing lightning about, trying to hit Ataru and zapping various bystanders.) Soun: Stop before you damage the Dojo! (Ukyou leaps forward, scoops up Happosai, then tosses him back out the door with one mighty spatula swing. But Ataru gets past her chasing Ranma-chan.) Ataru: Come to me, beautiful woman! Ranma-chan: (Using the Panda as an barrier between him and Ataru) What about Lum? Ataru: She'll never know! (Lum tries to zap Ataru, but the Panda gets it. He holds up a sign then collapses: [OWW!]) Ataru: (clambering over the Panda) You're so lovely; I just can't stay away. (He chases Ranma-chan into the house. Lum, Ukyou, Akane, Shinobu, and Ryouga give chase. They end up in the bathroom. Ranma-chan is trapped by the tub) Ataru: Darling! Lum: DARLING NO BAKA! (She tries to zap Ataru. She hits. He flies past Ranma into the Tub. He comes up Ataru-chan.) Ataru-chan: Blast! I can't chase women like this... Ranma-chan: You idiot! I'm a boy like you! Ataru-chan: You sure look female... (Akane brings Ranma-chan some hot water. He applies it to himself, gives her the kettle.) Akane: What about... Ranma: Let's leave him that way as a punishment. Ataru-chan: That's not fair! Lum: I think its a good idea. It will keep you faithful for a little while. Ataru-chan: Then join me! (Grabs and pulls her in. They wrestle in the water a little, then we can clearly see Lum has turned human. No more horns or powers until hot water comes her way. And she has red hair. Shinobu giggles) Ranma: I don't feel quite so unique anymore. Did you both... Ataru-chan: the pool of the drowned girl, alright. Ukyou: (to Shinobu) Do you do any tricks like this too? Shinobu: (sly smile) Lum loses powers; I gain them. Akane: Perhaps you could be more clear? Shinobu: The pool of the drowning oni was where I fell. (The door flies open and Happosai charges in.) Happosai: So many beautiful women, so little time! (Anarchy ensues.) (We cut to a little bit later. We see Ryouga and Soun working together on teaching Shinobu how to fall without hurting herself in the dojo. Meanwhile, Akane and Lum are sitting in the backyard talking. Well, actually Lum is hovering in the air as if she was lying on a couch, while Akane sits with her back up against one of the posts at the edge of the porch.) Lum: So how long have you and Ranma been engaged? Akane: A little over a year now. Our parents forced us into it. Lum: I understand. My parents don't like Darling very much, and they keep trying to force me to marry someone else. They almost had me married to Rei before I met Darling.... Akane: How did you meet Ataru...Hey, I remember. You were that alien princess who had the tag game with a human over whether or not the Earth was going to be invaded. And he won. There was nothing else on TV for days...You guys fell in love? He sure doesn't act like it. Lum: Darling's kinda shy about expressing his feelings... Akane: I wish Ranma was...He constantly calls me uncute and unfeminine and tomboy and tells me that I can't cook or swim. He even brags he has a better body than me when he's a woman. Lum: Well, at least Ataru doesn't do that...Is Ranma faithful to you? Akane: I've got to compete with two other "fiancees" plus this gymnastics nut who wants to marry him...And they're just the regular trouble sources. Lum: That's awful. My Ataru chases other women sometimes, but none of them ever show any interest in him. Well, except Ran, but she's just trying to get even with me, and Princess Kurama, but only because the law of her people demands it, and that awful Princess Elle, and...okay, I guess a few have shown interest in him...But he's mine! Mine! (Crackles with energy, pounds a nearby rock, blasting it to pieces. Akane: How do you throw those lightning bolts? Lum: (scratches her head) Well, it's kinda instinctive now, but let's see. How did mom teach me about it? There's always a faint buzzing inside my head. That's the sound of the lightning in me. You just reach inside the buzzing with your mind, grab some of it, point, and release it. Sometimes it helps to develop some kind of little ritual so you can turn it into a reflex. I shout Divine Retribution sometimes when I do it. Akane: (stands up) Hmmm...I've had that feeling before...(Stares at a rock lying near the pond). Like this...(She screws up her face, pulls back an arm, and then punches forward with it. The rock tumbles a little. She opens her eyes.) Anything happen? Lum: Well... Akane: (repeats above procedure. The rock moves a little more. Still no lightning though. Akane does it again and again and again, getting more angry looking and frenetic by the minute. The rock has almost reached the edge of the water.) This has got to work... Lum: I really don't think humans can normally... Akane: I've got to learn how to do something special! Can't let Ukyou show me up...(Grits her teeth. Closes her eyes and gives it everything she's got. The rock suddenly flips up into the air, soars into the pond and makes a big splash. There is a big gouge in the dirt where it was.) Did I do that? Lum: Telekinesis? Akane: I really felt something that time. (Punches towards the big tree standing by the pond. It sways back, then snaps into place again.) I did it! (Jumps up and down waving her fists in the air. Far above, we see a duck with glasses flying over the dojo. Suddenly it squawks and tumbles upward, then sideways, then back the way it came as Akane unconsciously releases ki blasts upwards. Finally, it gets away from the dojo.) Lum: Amazing. Akane: (distance punching rocks everywhere) This is great! (Kasumi comes out with a tray and some glasses of tea) Kasumi: It's a hot day. Would either of you like a drink? Lum: Why yes. (Grabs a glass) Akane: Thank you, Kasumi. (reaches for the glass. It flies off the tray and back inside the house where we hear a thunk and the sound of someone falling down.) Kasumi: What was that? Akane: Oops. (Genma staggers out of the house with a bruise on his head.) Genma: What did I do? (Falls down again) (She and Lum stare at each other for a moment) Lum: I think you need to work on control. (Ranma and Ataru-chan step out of the house, followed by Ukyou. Akane looks at Ukyou and smirks a little. Ukyou glares back.) Ranma: What's going on here? I heard glass break... Genma: On my head...(moan) Kasumi: Akane knocked a glass into the living room....somehow Ranma: Oh well. No big problem. Gotta expect clumsiness from you...(Akane moves to slug him and ki-punches him back into the house before her fist connects with him. He looks surprised.) Ataru-chan: You didn't even touch him... Ukyou: (Runs back to Ranma) Are you okay? Ranma: Wass goin' on? (Looks stunned) Genma: The distant touch! Amazing! Kasumi: What is that, Mr. Saotome? Genma: Some martial artists learn to focus their Ki through their fingers so they can touch things without physical contact. Normally, you train with a pool of water. When you can make it ripple without contact, you have mastered it. (Akane turns and jabs at the pond. It surges like a boulder hit it.) Genma: Never have I seen it so powerful! Ranma: (Staggers out to porch, followed by Ukyou) Eh. No big deal. If Akane can do it.... Akane: (yells)Well, let's see you put your money where your mouth is, Ranma. Ranma: (A bit nervous) Uh, yeah. Ukyou: You can do it, Ranma. Lum: I don't think you can do it, Ranma. Ranma: Why? Ataru-chan: I'll bet you he can do it! (thought) I know Ranma's a better martial artist than Ukyou, and she beat Akane, so if Akane can do it... Lum: What are you going to bet? Ataru-chan: If I win, you'll let me go out on a date with someone without complaining! Lum: And If I win, you won't look at another girl for a month. Ataru-chan: I can't... Lum: Yes, you can. That's the terms or no bet. Ataru-chan: Then I get a month to date whoever I want. Lum: Deal. (They shake. Everyone stares at them.) Akane: And I thought my relationship with Ranma was weird... Genma: (Now in Referee uniform) All right. The contest will begin. Ranma gets three chances. Then Akane gets three. Whoever moves the water the most wins. The winner gets.... Akane: If Ranma wins, I'll...I'll cook him a nice meal. Ranma: That's a prize? Akane: Ranma...(warning tone) Kasumi: I'll help Akane fix it if you win, Ranma. Ranma: Now that I can handle. Ranma: If Akane wins, I'll eat Akane's cooking for lunch for a week. (We notice Shinobu, Ryouga, and Soun have come out to see the contest. Shinobu looks worn out. Ryouga is standing next to Soun, while Shinobu leans against Ryouga.) Soun: (benevolent smile) Why don't you get your friend something to drink, Ryouga. I think we've worn her out. Ryouga: Come on Shinobu, let's get you something to drink. You look bushed. Shinobu: Thank you, Ryouga-kun. (They head inside, and Ryouga starts to head upstairs. Shinobu grabs him and steers him towards the kitchen.) Soun: (to Genma) I think they'll make a fine couple. And she has the makings of a good martial artist. But she lacks control, just like Akane. Akane: Hmmph. I'll show them control... Genma: Ranma--Ready, set, Go! (waves a little flag like you see at car races) (Ranma has a desperate look on his face. He really has gotten himself in over his head. He has no idea how to do this. He starts concentrating really hard. He gets red in the face. He gestures at the pond again and again. Nothing happens at all. Boy is he embarrassed.) Ranma: The stars must be in the wrong alignment. Ataru-chan: (Thinking)Don't lose on me Ranma. I face a fate worse than death...A month with no woman but Lum. No.... Akane: Well, that was impressive Ranma. (sarcastic) Ranma: I... Genma: Try 2 for Saotome Ranma. (stage whisper to Ranma:) I didn't know you had been practicing this. You aren't very good at it. Ranma: GRRR...(He focuses harder than he's ever focused in his life. He starts to glow. Lum dives under the porch. So does Ataru-chan.) Akane: Ranma? Ranma: YAH! (He points at the pond. The light flows off him and dyes the pond pink, but not even a ripple disturbs it) Kasumi: That's really pretty. (Ataru-chan and Lum stick their heads back out.) Ataru-chan: I guess he won't explode after all. Akane: But it wasn't what we were trying to do. Ranma: Hah! I was just warming up. Lum: I think you've already lost. Ukyou: I know Ranchan can do it. (Leans on Ranma, who doesn't quite notice. Akane fumes). Ataru-chan: (thought) I know...(picks up a rock, then waits.) (Ranma tries again. He gets red in the face, scrunches his eyes, yells various mantras, and points, and points, and points. Ataru-chan casually tosses the rock into the air. It makes a little splash.) Ranma: There! I did it. Akane: That was a rock. Genma: (to Ranma) My son. Sunk so low as to throw a rock when he is supposed to do it himself. I am... (Ranma lifts him.) Ranma: I didn't throw the rock! That was someone else. (Lum stares at Ataru-chan. She smiles sweetly and shows her now open hands.) Genma: Akane--Ready, set, Go! (Akane simply does a martial strike and the water moves.) Genma: Akane-1, Ranma--0 (Akane spin kicks towards the water. It moves. Ataru-chan moans. Ranma looks ill) Genma: Akane-2, Ranma--0 (Akane smiles, spins in a circle, then flicks her head at the water. It moves. Ranma collapses. Ataru-chan falls next to him.) Ranma: Doom.... Ataru-chan: Double Doom.... Ranma and Ataru-chan: Triple doom... (Akane and Lum are dancing around in a circle. Ukyou is trying to comfort Ranma. Soun looks proud. Shinobu and Ryouga step out. Both have glasses of Ice tea. Shinobu has twined her left arm around Ryouga's right arm, somewhat hampering his tea drinking.) Ryouga: What did we miss? Akane: I won! HA HA HA HA! Lum: I won! HA HA HA HA! (For a moment, they look remarkably similar) Soun: Congratulations, Daughter. You have learned a difficult technique. Akane: Thanks, dad. (Runs to hug him, he goes flying back away from her into the house.) Oops. I think I'm not sure how to stop this.... Lum: Darling! A month of just me and you together...(Runs to hug her Darling) Ataru-chan: No....(resists feebly as she hugs and excitedly electrocutes him) AAHHHH!!! Akane: (Turns to Ranma. ) I've got so many ideas for lunches to make for you. Ranma: I'm so happy I could just die...(and he looks like he will) Shinobu: Is it always like this around here? Ryouga: No...well, actually yes. Shinobu: Feels like home already... (We close on a tableaux of Akane standing over Ranma who looks pale as she describes his choices for tommorrow's lunch, while Ukyou kneels by him, checking his pulse, and of Ataru-chan feebly twitching in Lum's clutches as she describes all the wonderful things they'll do with the free time saved from him not chasing women...) (End part 3)