(start part 4)--The Cross Dressing Episode (The episode opens in the lunchroom at Tomobiki High. We see Ryuunosuke pounding on Ataru, who is trying to kiss her. Lum is trying to peel Ataru off of Ryuunosuke, but is only succeeding in dragging them both into the sky. Shinobu is standing on a table yelling at Ataru.) Shinobu: Let go of her at once, you lech! Ataru: Oh, just one kiss, pleeeaaasseee? Ryuunosuke: I'd rather kiss a toad! Lum: Let go of her, darling! Ataru: But then she'll fall. And I'd rather cling to my delightful Ryuunosuke! Lum: BAKA! (ZZZAAPP! Ryuunosuke and Ataru both go limp, but even unconscious, Ataru clings to Ryuunosuke.) (Shinobu runs under them. They are hovering near the ceiling now.) Shinobu: You'd better put them down before he lets go! (Lum puts them down on the table. She and Shinobu start trying to peel Ataru off Ryuunosuke with a crowbar.) Shinobu: Poor Ryuunosuke. Lum: Let go, Darling! (starts shaking him. He sleeps blissfully through it, but Ryuunosuke wakes up and eventually crawls loose with Shinobu's help.) Ryuunosuke: This is depressing. Shinobu: What is? Ryuunosuke: The school lech is the only guy who ever looks at me. Shinobu: Well, you hit every guy who takes an interest in you, and if you're going to dress that way... Ryuunosuke: I don't know how not to dress this way! My dad didn't want me...he wanted a son. (Ryuunosuke looks even more depressed) Lum: Maybe we can help you get a date. Ryuunosuke: Anything would be an improvement over him! (points at Ataru) ******************** (Scene cuts to Ukyou's restaurant. A window breaks as Tsubasa is slammed through it by Ukyou's giant spatula. He flies across the street and crashes into a passing car. The driver stops the car, gets out holding him, and punts him down the street into a trashcan. He tries to get out, but is stuck, succeeding only in sending the can rolling down the street with him in it. He finally hits a tree and stops. He is now in a park. Akane is passing by and sees his feet sticking out of the can.) Akane: Hello? Is somebody in this can? Tsubasa: Yes! Help! (Akane pulls him out and shakes the dirt off him. He is wearing a now tattered and dirty sundress. It would look quite nice if it was clean and he was a girl, rather than a guy.) Akane: How'd you get in there? Tsubasa: Well... Akane: Did Ukyou stuff you in there? Tsubasa: I don't understand why she won't go out with me. It's not as if she were dating anyone. Akane: I think you're wasting your time. Tsubasa: But I haven't met anyone else who interests me...and all the other girls look at me like I'm a weirdo. Akane: Well, it would help if you didn't wear disguises or dress like a woman all the time... Tsubasa: Well, Ukyou always dressed like a boy, so I had to dress like a girl so we made a matched set. Akane: Hmmm....So you want to date a woman who dresses like a boy? Tsubasa: Well, I don't want to have to buy an all new set of clothes when I've already got a set that fits me. (Ranma-chan comes into view. She looks like she is a little uncomfortable. She is wearing one of Akane's dresses.) Akane: Why are you...? Ranma-chan: Mom came by and decided I was too unfeminine for her to stand, so she sort of well...made me put a dress on...and I don't have any... Why don't you buy some bigger clothing? All your clothes are too tight on me! Akane: Then buy some dresses of your own, BAKA! (She is irritated. Hefts Ranma-chan and punts her out of sight.) Akane: Perhaps you could trade with an idiot I know...Looks like she needs some dresses...too tight. Hmph. If Ranma didn't eat so much, he'd fit in them... *************** Part 4: "The Cross-dressing episode" Still Waters Run Deep A UY/Ranma fanfic using material from the wonderfully warped mind of Takahashi Rumiko. by John Biles "Questions of Love" by John Biles the UY/Ranma Theme song... Lum: Why do you flee from my love? I only want to give it to you. Life is too short to live it alone Why be one and one when we can be two? Ataru: Why do I run from your love? I wish I had an answer for you. The secrets of my heart are my own. Maybe one day, we two ones shall be two. Akane: Why do we do what we do? Why do we say what we say? Why are we always so cruel to each other? Why do we fight every day? Ranma: I know why we do what we do, The reason that we say what we say. As long as we hide what we really feel, We may go on forever this way. All: Why do we hide from love? Why can't I say I love you? We may go on fighting each other Until the day one and one become two. **************************** (We see a split screen of Akane and Shinobu on the phone. Both are at home in their rooms.) Akane: So tomorrow, I'm going to try cooking Ranma this beef and rice dish I found in Mom's cookbook for lunch. Shinobu: Has he really kept to his part of the bet? Akane: Well, he complains loud and long, but his honor won't let him back out. What about Ataru? Shinobu: Ataru wouldn't know honor if it bit him. But he hasn't been too bad about it. Hitting on Ryuunosuke today was his only violation that I know of of his promise. I knew he couldn't last a month. Akane: Was Ryuunosuke just so beautiful that he couldn't control himself or... Shinobu: (sardonic smile) Ataru is the only guy I know who hits on Ryuunosuke. Lots of girls do, but Ryuunosuke isn't interested in them. Akane: Eh? Shinobu: Ryuunosuke's father wanted a boy, so he forces her to live as one. She dresses, talks, walks, and acts like a boy. She felt pretty depressed today that she can't get a date. Akane: Hmm. I may be able to help her. I know a guy who is looking for a date. I'm not sure if she would like him, but... Shinobu: Is he less lecherous than Ataru? Akane: Yes. Shinobu: Then he has at least one good feature. Let's see what we can do for them. *********************** (We see Ataru sitting at his desk. He appears to be studying while Lum hovers near him and knits, but actually, he is plotting.) Ataru: (thought)[I have got to find some way to sneak away from Lum without her knowing! I can't stay away from other women! I'll go mad. She doesn't want a madman for a fiancee, now does she? No! It's for her good! I must chase some women so she doesn't have to hang around with a crazy guy. But if I do it openly, she might think I'm breaking my promise, so I'll have to be sneaky.] Lum: Did you hear about Ryuunosuke's date? Ataru: Date? What date? Lum: Shinobu and Akane are setting up a blind date for her on Friday. Ataru: With who? Who is stealing away my beautiful Ryuunosuke? Lum: Darling...(warning tone) Ataru: I won't let them do it! I can't! Only I can date... Lum: BAKA DARLING! (ZZZAP!!!! Ataru gets blasted.) Ataru: Ryuunosuke...don't let them take you away from... Lum: Baka! (Zzap!) Remember your promise. 26 more days! Ataru: (crawling towards the door) Got to stop them... (Lum sits on him. He is too weak to move.) Ataru: Must date Ryuunosuke...must date... Lum: Besides, I already have plans for us on Friday night. We're going to go see a movie and go out to eat. Ataru: No. (tries to get up). No No No. Lum: Yes, Darling. We'll have so much fun! Ataru: No...(collapses) ***************************** (We see Akane and Ranma studying in the living room. Well, Akane is studying, and Ranma is half-heartedly staring at his books.) Ranma: This is all so meaningless. Akane: Do you want to be an uneducated idiot? Ranma: I am not an idiot! Akane: Well, you will be if you don't study! Do you want to be known as Saotome the Dojo master who didn't make it out of high school? Ranma: Hmph. Nobody makes Ryouga go to school. Ukyou: (Just entered) Only because he can't stay in one place long enough to go to school. Akane: I've got some good news for you, Ukyou. Ukyou: What? Akane: Shinobu and I are setting up a blind date for Tsubasa with one of her friends. Maybe he won't bother you anymore now. Ranma: Who's the fool you're setting up with Tsubasa? Akane: All I know is she's named Ryuunosuke. Ukyou: That name sounds familiar...(scratches her head). Ranma: Well, if she dresses up as stop signs and furniture, she'll make a great match for Tsubasa. Ukyou: (Gloms onto Ranma) And once he stops bothering me, I'll have more time to spend with you, Ranchan. Ranma: Uh, well... Akane: Ranma no baka! (Hits them both in the head with a table. They fall over.) Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. *************************** (We see Akane and Shinobu sparring while Ryouga, Soun and Genma stand by watching. It is obviously time for Shinobu's weekly lessons.) (Akane spins and tries to back kick Shinobu. Shinobu partly blocks the blow, but gets hit. She lashes out at Akane, who blocks the blow and strikes Shinobu with her left fist. Shinobu goes for a simple front kick, but Akane blocks that too, then kicks Shinobu, who doesn't react fast enough and falls down. ) Shinobu: Ow! Soun: The road to martial greatness is often paved with pain. Shinobu: It's so hard to tell what she's going to do. The blocks seem easy when I practice them, but when I'm facing a real person... Ryouga: You can do it, Shinobu. Shinobu: Thanks, Ryouga. (A new light of determination glows in her eyes.) (Akane presses the attack. Kick, punch, spin, kick, punch, punch, punch. Shinobu tries her best to block them all. Finally, Akane has to pause to catch her breath, and Shinobu unleashes one mighty punch. Akane tries to block it, but goes flying.) Shinobu: You're so good, Akane. It amazes me. Akane: (blinks) Thank you. Ranma: (just come in) If you think she's good, you should see me in action. I'm easily five times... (Akane hefts Ranma and punts him through the roof.) Akane: Baka! Shinobu: (Looks up through hole) If you're so good, why does she always get away with that? Ranma: Viiiooolleeenntt Toooommmmboooyyyy! (As he flies out of sight) Akane: Let's rest a little. Shinobu: Good idea. So where are we going to have Tsubasa and Ryuunosuke meet each other? Akane: How about if they both come here? I know a good restaurant we could send them to...even if the chief waitress is a bimbo and the owner is an interfering old troll, they have good food. Shinobu: Ok. Is Tsubasa good with meeting new people? Akane: Well, they often react oddly to him, but I'd say he doesn't have any trouble himself. Shinobu: Well, I was thinking maybe we should set this up as a double or triple date so they don't have to deal on their own with someone they don't know and have never met. Maybe Ryouga and I and you and Ranma could go along with them. Akane: A date...with Ranma? Shinobu: He is your fiancee. Akane: I'd rather...rather... I just...Ryouga and Ranma would probably end up fighting and... Shinobu: Are you sure you don't want to go out? Genma: I think it's a great idea. Soun: Yes, Akane. I think you and Ranma should go along. You two don't go out together enough. Akane: But Ranma doesn't have any money and... Soun: I'm sure Nabiki will be happy to loan him some money. Akane: Oh, joy. ************************** (We see Nabiki in her room. She is studying. There is a knock on the door.) Nabiki: Come in. (Ranma enters looking depressed.) Nabiki: Here's the money you need. (Picks up a stack off the bed and hands it to him.) Ranma: How did you...? Nabiki: Daddy talked to me about it. I won't even make you pay this back. Ranma: Really? Nabiki: On one condition. Ranma: (Cautious) What? Nabiki: I know Shinobu knows a really rich guy named Mendo. I want to meet him. It's your job to bring about that meeting. Ranma: How am I supposed to do that? Nabiki: I'm sure you'll come up with a clever plan. (giggles) Ranma: Right. (leaves) Nabiki: I wonder how easy it will be to squeeze money out of this Mendo. (Door opens again.) Ranma: I need a photo of you. Nabiki: That will cost you... Ranma: Do you want to meet Mendo or not? Nabiki: This is for that? Ranma: Why else would I want a picture of you? Nabiki: Hmmm... Ranma: Gimme the photo! Nabiki: (Goes to photo album and selects carefully. It is a shot of her being carried on a couch by four huge guys while she is wearing a slinky dress. (see Second Ranma movie for details of when this was taken....)) This photo is perfect. If it is damaged, you will pay. Ranma: Yeah, yeah, yeah. (grabs it and runs) Nabiki: I can hear the coins clinking now. ********************** (We see Tsubasa at his house, busily dressing up for the date. He looks extra feminine tonight. He is wearing a beautiful emerald green dress, a large emerald green sun hat, and a green ribbon in his hair. After much effort, he has piled his hair up on his head in curls. Akane has been helping him, and he has been giving her fashion tips. She is wearing a simple white dress, with a blue ribbon in her hair.) Tsubasa: I still think you should wear something fancier. Akane: Hmph. I'll be lucky if Ranma even changes out of what he wore to school today. Tsubasa: Any idea what color my date will be wearing tonight? Akane: I have no idea. Tsubasa: I would hate to clash with her. This outfit works great with what Ukyou usually wears, but I don't know if Ryuunosuke favors the same colors. Akane: I've never seen her either. This evening will just be full of surprises... **************************** (We see Shinobu helping Ryuunosuke get ready for the date. Ryu is brushing her hair for about the twentieth time. She is wearing an obviously borrowed men's suit that is about an inch too long everywhere.) Ryuunosuke: This suit is too big. Shinobu: Well, it was the only one your dad had. Ryuunosuke: (to Shinobu) You really think Tsubasa will like me? Shinobu: I think you'll make a perfect couple. (tries not to giggle) >From what I've heard, the last woman he was after was just like you. Ryuunosuke: Did she dump him or.... Shinobu: From what I understand, he never had a chance. She's been chasing Ranma for months. Ryuunosuke: Is this Ranma really the king of the women chasers the way Ataru describes him? Shinobu: Well, they chase him more than he chases them. More like Mendo, really. (stares off into space for a moment, then sighs) But you'll get to meet him and judge for yourself. Ryuunosuke: He's coming too? Shinobu: Yeah. We thought we'd make it a triple date so you and Tsubasa wouldn't have to feel too awkward meeting for the first time. Ryuunosuke: As long as Ataru isn't coming, I'll be fine. ***************** (We see Lum and Ataru busily preparing for their evening out. While Lum gets dressed up in a tiger-striped evening gown, Ataru is busily stuffing things into a backpack.) Ataru: (thought) I am such a genius. I'll just pack a change of clothing and some hair dye. At the movies I can slip into the bathroom, dye my hair, change clothing, and elude Lum! Then I can find Ryuunosuke and date her myself, instead of this Tsubasa character! She'll be so grateful to me...(packs a water pistol into the bag.) And if she pursues me, I can shoot her out of the sky with this. (Thermos goes in the bag.) Hot water, just in case it rains. Lum: What's the bag for darling? Ataru: I wanted to bring some stuff like hot water in case we get wet. Lum: Clever, darling. That way we won't have any accidents. Ready to go? Ataru: I'm ready and eager to go. (Takes her arm as they walk out. Lum is surprised, but pleased.) *********************** (We see Ryuunosuke and Shinobu getting off a train at a station. A nearby sign says Nerima Station.) Ryuunosuke: Are you sure I shouldn't have tried changing into something more feminine once we got away from Dad? Shinobu: Don't worry. Tsubasa likes women who dress like that. Ryuunosuke: Really? Shinobu: He isn't picky, so you shouldn't worry. I just hope we can find the restaurant where we are supposed to meet them. **************** (We see Ranma and Ryouga getting ready. They are both dressed nicely. Well, nicely for them. They are both wearing nice blue slacks and white button up shirts. Ranma has a blue tie that he obviously doesn't want to wear...but doesn't seem to have been given a choice. Ryouga is wearing a yellow and black tie that matches his bandana. ) Ranma: So how serious are you and Shinobu? Ryouga: Shinobu is just a friend. Ranma: Well, I haven't heard of you sneaking into her bed as a pig yet, so maybe you're telling the truth. Ryouga: Not so loud! And Shinobu knows I turn into a pig. Ranma: She doesn't care? Ryouga: She thinks it's cute. Ranma: No accounting for taste. Ryouga: Are you saying I'm an ugly pig? Ranma: Well, everyone knows I'm better looking than you. Ryouga: Ranma! (Attacks him. They thrash each other about the dressing room, finally crashing through the wall into the hallway where Tsubasa and Akane are waiting.) Akane: Ranma! Stop attacking Ryouga! (Whaps him with a chair. Ranma collapses) Ryouga: Thank you, Akane. Akane: Now, Ranma, you'd better not fight with Ryouga on this date or I'm going to be very angry with you. Ranma: Yeah, yeah. So where are we going to eat? Akane: Well, we planned to...oh dear. Ranma: What? Akane: Er...we made the plans before we knew you and I would be on this date. Tsubasa: Why does that matter? Akane: They were going to meet Tsubasa at...the Nekohanten. Ranma: Uh oh. ********************** (We see Ukyou busily dressing up. She is going into uber-kawaii mode. Long sapphire blue dress. Blue and red ribbons in her hair. She has let it down and dyed it blonde. The dress is tight on top, showing off her figure, and loose below with a huge flowing skirt.) Ukyou: They'll never recognize me in this. Now I can follow them and make sure nothing disrupts Tsubasa's date. Then I'll be rid of him forever! (she laughs a little). I just wish I could remember why that name Ryuunosuke sounds familiar... ************************ (We see Shinobu and Ryonnosuke waiting in front of the Nekohanten. It is a bit chilly.) Shinobu: Maybe we should wait inside. Ryonnosuke: Good idea. (They step inside. Shampoo comes up to them.) Shampoo: Would you like a table? Shinobu: Table for six, please. We have friends coming. (Shinobu sits them at a large table. Shampoo smiles at them and whispers to Shinobu.) Shampoo: Your boyfriend is very handsome. Shinobu: We're both waiting for someone else. Ryuunosuke has a blind date with Tsubasa. I'm waiting for Ryouga. Shampoo: Too bad. Your friend is cute. With Tsubasa? But Tsubasa is a... (Shinobu shakes her head) Shinobu: He's a she! Ryuunosuke is a she! Shampoo: One day people will learn to keep away from those pools. (Shinobu shakes her head.) Shinobu: No curse. Ryuunosuke is always female. Ryuunosuke: Eh, did you two say something? Shampoo: You really a woman? Ryuunosuke: Yes. Shampoo: So what you two want to drink? **************************** (We see Ranma, Ryouga, Akane, and Tsubasa out in the street near the Nekohanten. Ukyou is lurking watching them from a nearby rooftop.) Ranma: I'll just go in and... Akane: ...Get jumped on by Shampoo! I'll go get them. Ryouga: Shampoo will try to pick on you. Let me get them. I won't have any trouble with Shampoo. Ranma: But you'll have trouble finding your way back out the door to us! Ryouga: I will not! Tsubasa: I'd go...but I wouldn't recognize them. Ukyou: (thinks to self.) [I'd better resolve this for them...] (She slips off the roof and walks into the Nekohanten. Ryouga, Ranma, and Akane are in full argument mode. Tsubasa stands and uncomfortably watches them fight.) Shampoo: (Approaches Ukyou) Can I help you, ma'am? Would you like a table for one, or are you waiting for someone? Ukyou: I'm just here to deliver a message. (Turns to Shinobu) Miss Miyaki? (thought) That guy looks familiar. Shinobu: Uh, yes? Ukyou: Your friends are waiting for you outside. They had to change their plans a little. Shinobu: Uh, thanks. Come on, Ryuunosuke. Ukyou: (looks at Ryu and smiles) So you're Ryuunosuke? Ryuunosuke: Yes. Ukyou: You should have an interesting evening. See you later. (She heads out. (thought) Now I remember. We went to a boys' school together one year...I wonder how many people in that school were girls in disguise. I never realized...I wonder what her reason was. (Shinobu and Ryuunosuke get up. ) Shinobu: Who was that? Ryuunosuke: She was really pretty, whoever she was. I wish I looked like that...She reminds me of someone I went to school with that year Dad put me in a boys' school. Shinobu: That's strange. Ryuunosuke: I know. (sighs) I wish I could have had a normal childhood. Shinobu: Don't be so negative! This is going to be a fun evening! (They get up and go outside. Ranma, Ryouga, and Akane are yelling at each other. The battle is about to begin when Shinobu and Ryuunosuke approach them. Tsubasa looks a bit irritated.) Shinobu: Hello, everybody? What are you arguing about? Ranma: (Turns to Shinobu) These idiots think I can't just go inside and get Shinobu and...hey, you are Shinobu. Shinobu: Should I be someone else? (smiles) Didn't you guys send someone in to get us? Akane: No. We were too busy arguing. Ryuunosuke: A really pretty woman came and told us you were waiting outside. Akane: I wonder who it was? Shinobu: This is Ryuunosuke. (Turns to Tsubasa) And I guess you must be Tsubasa. (Tsubasa and Ryuunosuke stare at each other. Tsubasa smiles. Ryuunosuke looks contemplative.) Ryuunosuke: You're Tsubasa? Tsubasa: Yes. Nice to meet you. You're cute. Ryuunosuke: (to Shinobu) I should have known it would be like this. (sighs) (to Tsubasa) Are you a guy or a girl? Tsubasa: (a little aggravated) A guy! And you're a girl, right? Ryuunosuke: Yes, but... Tsubasa: So what's the problem? Ryuunosuke: You dress like a girl! Tsubasa: And you dress like a guy. We make a matched set. (Ryuunosuke blinks. Everyone else looks a bit tense.) Ryuunosuke: Did your parents do this to you? Tsubasa: I just like disguises. And since Ukyou dresses as a boy too, it was less trouble to dress like this so we didn't look weird together. Ranma: Are we going out or what? Shinobu: (to Ryuunosuke) Give him a chance. He doesn't seem to care that you're dressed like a boy. Ryuunosuke: (To Shinobu) Well, I guess I can try. It just doesn't quite seem right, but...I guess if nothing else I can study him for femininity tips...weird as that seems. Shinobu: (to Ryuunosuke) Good. (She turns and gloms onto Ryouga) Ready to go, Ryouga-kun? Ryouga: (looks over at Akane. She smiles back at him) Uh, right. So where are we going? Shinobu: Why can't we eat here? Akane: Possible trouble with the chinese bimbo. Ranma: You shouldn't call her a bimbo! Ryouga: One of Ranma's other fiancees runs the restaurant. Shinobu: I know a good place. Follow me. We'll have to take the train, but I think you'll like it. ****************** (We see them on the train. They are sitting in two rows: Akane Shinobu Ryuunosuke Ranma Ryouga Tsubasa They do not notice the disguised Ukyou sitting three rows down.) Ranma: So what is this place we're going to Shinobu? Shinobu: It's a nice little place called Mama-san's. You'll like it. Ranma: Why didn't we just go to Ucchan's place? Akane: You've got to be kidding. Ranma: What, you don't like her cooking? Are you jealous because you can't... Akane: Ranma! (turns around in seat and glares) Ryouga: Don't insult Akane, Ranma! If we weren't on a train, I'd teach you a lesson about manners! Ranma: When we get off, we can settle this. (Tsubasa shakes his head. Ryuunosuke leans over to Shinobu and whispers.) Ryuunosuke: What are they fighting about? Shinobu: Ukyou is another of Ranma's fiancees. A date there would be disastrous for Akane and Ranma. Ryuunosuke: How many fiancees does this guy have? Is he trying to be Ataru or something? (eyes Ranma with a bit of a frown) Shinobu: He has at least three that I know of...Ataru seems to regard him as a master girl-chaser, but I think they are after Ranma more than he is after them. Ranma: Hmph. This place had better be good. *************** (We see Mama-san's. It is a pleasant little cafe which serves a wide range of foods. Two familiar figures can be seen eating here: Lum and Ataru. Ataru has a backpack on. He is busily eating like there is no tomorrow. The door opens and Ranma, Akane, Ryouga, Shinobu, Ryuunosuke, and Tsubasa walk in. They get a table for six. ) Waiter: (To Tsubasa) And what would you like, Miss? Tsubasa: I'm a boy. Waiter: Eh? Tsubasa: But I'd like fried apples and pork chops. Ryuunosuke: And the same for me, please. Waiter: Yes, sir. Ryuunosuke: I'm not a man! Call me ma'am! Waiter: You're female? Ryuunosuke: (Waves a fist at him) Yes! Waiter: As you like. Akane: Chicken Sukiyaki please. Waiter: Yes, (pauses and thinks) sir? Akane: I am not a boy! I hate boys! (Yells at waiter, who visibly shrinks.) Waiter: (points to Ranma) And you are a...? Ranma: Boy! Boy! Boy! And I plan to stay that way for the entire evening! Waiter: Uh, yes sir. Shinobu: Well, I'm female. And Ryouga is definitely male. (Leans her head on his shoulder. He blushes.) Waiter: Now that we have that straightened out, let's get on with the orders. (Lum does not notice that her friends have entered the restaurant. Ataru does.) Ataru: (thought) [Hmm. I wonder where Ryu's date is? I see four girls and only two guys, and both of the guys are attached...unless Ryu is one of Ranma's fiancees now! No! That can't be. If he has four lovely fiancees, I will just die from jealousy! I've got to get to Ryu before her date shows up. ] Ataru: Lum-chan? Lum: (busily eating some noodles) Yes, darling? Ataru: Be back in a moment. Nature calls. Lum: All right, Darling. (He heads to the bathroom) Lum: (thought) Darling has been so good tonight. I'm really impressed that he has kept his promise so far. It's all because he really does love me. Once he goes a month without chasing girls, he should be able to kick the habit. Then we'll be together forever! (At their table, the six daters are waiting for their food. We see Ukyou has taken a table nearby them.) Ranma: I'm hungry. Akane: You eat like a horse. Ranma: At least I don't eat like a pig, like Ryouga there. (Ryouga fumes) Shinobu and Akane: Don't make fun of Ryouga, Ranma! (They stare at each other a moment.) Shinobu and Akane: Stereo. (They laugh.) Ranma: Shinobu, do you know a guy named Mendo? Shinobu: Who doesn't? Ranma: Well, I'd never heard of him before tonight, but... Shinobu: But his family is the richest family in Japan! Ranma: They are? Shinobu: Where have you been living all these years? Ranma: I had a strange childhood. But anyway, Nabiki wanted me to see if you could set up a date between her and Mendo. Shinobu: She wants Mendo? Ranma: Uh, she just said she wanted to meet him. Tsubasa: He'll be the poorest man in Japan by the time she's done with him. Shinobu: You really think that? Akane: Well, my sister is a little overly interested in money. Shinobu: (thought) If I really thought I had a chance with Mendo, I wouldn't agree to this...but I'm with Ryouga now. He's shy, but I think he really likes me. I just have to get him over this infatuation with Akane. Sure, why not set up Mendo and Nabiki. He'll just reject her for Lum, anyway... (said) I'll see what I can do. Ranma: Good. Akane: Why are you trying to set them up, anyway, Ranma? Ranma: Uh, well... Tsubasa: (To Ryuunosuke) So why do you dress like you do? Ryuunosuke: My dad wanted a boy, so he raised me as one. I hate it, but I don't know how to change. Tsubasa: What about your mom? Why did she let him do that? Ryuunosuke: She's dead. (Tsubasa takes Ryuunosuke's hand.) Tsubasa: I'm sorry for you. You must really miss her. Ryuunosuke, are you okay? (Ryu is staring at Tsubasa's hand. Two tiny figures appear on Ryu's shoulders. On the left side is her father. On the right side is an extra-tiny little blond girl with curly hair in a dress.(What she saw in the third movie (Remember My Love) at the carnival for those who have seen it). ) Tiny-father: Don't let a boy hold your hand! Hit him! Tiny-tiny girl: It's okay for a boy to hold a girl's hand. Tiny-father: Hit him! Hit him! You're a boy, dammit! Tiny-tiny girl: Are not! Tiny-father: Are so! (Ryu's head bobs back and forth between the two. No one else can see them, they just see her staring back and forth at her two shoulders. Tsubasa is still holding her hand.) Tsubasa: What's wrong? (Shinobu leans over to Ryu.) Shinobu: What's wrong? Ryuunosuke: Is it okay for a guy to hold a girl's hand on the first date? I keep thinking I should hit him, but... Shinobu: Do you want him to hold your hand? Ryuunosuke: I...My father keeps saying... Shinobu: Listen to your heart, Ryu. Your father isn't here. Ryuunosuke: Is that the little girl? Shinobu: Now I'm confused. (The little girl and the tiny father are chasing each other around Ryu's head now.) Ryouga: Are you okay? Tsubasa: I...do you mind if I hold your hand? Ryuunosuke: I...er...uh...well...I'm... (Tsubasa lets go. Looks sad.) Tsubasa: I just wanted to comfort you. You seemed so sad. Ryuunosuke: Thank you, Tsubasa. (She smiles a little. He smiles back.) (The waiter arrives with everyone's food. Ranma has multiple bowls of beefbowl, Akane has chicken sukiyaki, Ryouga has a veritable army of noodles, Shinobu has some chicken soup and a salad, and Ryuunosuke and Tsubasa both have pork chops and fried apples. Ryouga suddenly realizes what they are eating.) Ryouga: Po..po..pork chops. Ryuunosuke: You want some? I'll trade you for some noodles. Ryouga: YOU WANT ME TO EAT PORK CHOPS! AAAAHHHH!!!! (He rears back as if to hit Ryuunosuke.) Shinobu: Calm down! It's only pork...(sudden realization) Akane: What are you doing! (Ryouga comes down to punch the table. Ranma jerks the table to save it. Ryouga hits the floor and makes a big hole, the leaning forward Tsubasa falls out of his chair because he had been leaning on the table and the hole extends under his chair. Akane falls back as the table slides past her. Ranma dives and saves her. Ryu gets mad.) Ryu: You made me drop my food and made my date fall on the floor! Baka! (Grabs Ryouga off the floor and then punches him down into the hole he made.) (Ranma just stares. Akane is still in his arms. Ryuunosuke helps Tsubasa out of the hole, then steps on Ryouga's head when he tries to climb out. Shinobu helps Ryouga out.) Shinobu: Don't hit Ryouga-kun. He really doesn't like it when people eat pork. Ryuunosuke: Is he related to pigs or something? He wrecked my meal! It's in a hole on the floor now! Shinobu: (glances at Akane) He just doesn't like seeing people eat pigs. (whispers) I'll explain later. Tsubasa: Are you okay, Ryuunosuke? Ryuunosuke: I'm fine. I want an apology, pig-boy! Ryouga: Hah! You're the one who should apologize! Ryuunosuke: Why? Ryouga: You hit me! Ryuunosuke: You wrecked my meal for no good reason! (We see Ukyou over at her table.) Ukyou: Hmm. I don't want this to ruin their date. (Ranma and Akane realize he is still carrying her. She scrambles out of his arms. They turn away from each other, then glance back when they think the other is not looking. They lock gaze, stare a moment, then look away again.) Shinobu: Don't threaten him, Ryuunosuke. He's an excellent martial artist. Ryuunosuke: I think he's an insolent pig-lover. You're going to pay for my food! Ryouga: You...I won't! (Shinobu comes up and drapes herself upon Ryouga while whispering in his ear.) Shinobu: Please don't fight with her. I want this to be a good date. She hardly ever gets to go out. Ryouga: I...for you, I will do it. (Shinobu snuggles closer. He looks a little uneasily at her, then at Akane, who is trying to look at Ranma without being seen looking at him. She starts when she sees Ryouga look over at her. Ryouga pales a little, glances back at Shinobu, then turns to Ryuunosuke) Ryuunosuke, I..am...so..so..sorry. Ryuunosuke: Okay. Tsubasa: I'll get you some more food. Waiter! (We see Ataru-chan run out of the bathroom.) Man: Get out of here, you pervert! (shakes fist at her) Ataru-chan: (Now female, but still in same clothes) Aargh. Got run out by that guy before I could change clothing or dye my hair. (Sees Ryu/Ryouga face off.) But if I act, Lum will spot me! Blast! I'll have to wait for the movies. (Uses some of her hot water--back to male form he goes.) Lum: Why are you wet, darling? (As he sits down) Ataru: Bathroom leak. Lum: After we eat, we're going to go see the new Vampire Princess Miyu movie. Ataru: Good. (thought) [In the dark, it will be easy to slip away and go comfort Ryuunosuke.] (We see Ukyou now notices Ataru is present.) Ukyou: Hmm...What's the best way to keep him from causing trouble. (Ataru looks over and sees that Ryu and company are at a new table. She is talking with Tsubasa. Ataru just can't wait any more.) Ataru: No. Stop before it is too late! (Runs across the room. Ukyou sticks out her foot and trips him. He falls at her feet. She tries to act surprised.) Ukyou: Are you okay? (Helps him up) Ataru: Do I know you? Ukyou: I don't think so. Ataru: (thought)[She's so beautiful. I must get her name and number.] Hmm. Are you injured? Ukyou:I'll be okay. (Lum is approaching) Ataru: I must get your name and number for...insurance purposes in case one of us has to file an accident claim! [I'm brilliant!] I'm Morobishi Ataru. Lum: Darling... Ukyou: I'm Hasakawa Ryouko. My number is... Lum: ...No Baka! (ZZZAAPPP!!!! Ataru gets electrocuted. He falls down. Lum drags him away.) Ukyou: Will he be okay? Lum: Stupid darling will be just fine if he stays away from other women! ********************** (We see the Ranma gang at the movie theatre. They are seated in this order: Strangers Ranma Akane Ryouga Shinobu Ryuunosuke Tsubasa Aisle Ukyou is seated in the row behind them. Lum and Ataru sit up front.) Ataru: (thought) [Once the movie starts, I'll have my chance.] Lum: (thought) [This should be a good movie. I just have to keep an eye on Darling.] Shinobu (thought) [I hope that's not Ataru up there. Oh well, Ryouga will take care of him if he makes trouble. ] (She leans over and puts her head on Ryouga's shoulder. He looks down at her, then glances over at Akane, who is watching the previews.) Ryouga: Shinobu-chan. Shinobu: Yes, Ryouga-kun? Ryouga: I...(He suddenly realizes what he has called her...) (thought) [I...Am I...did I mean to call her that? I...what do I feel about her?] Shinobu: Ryouga-kun? Did you mean to ask me something? (The movie starts. We see two lovers walking down a quiet lane.) Ryouga: I...nothing. Just thinking... Shinobu: About what? Ranma: I wish those two would be quiet. The movie is starting. Ryouga: I...nothing. (Shinobu looks up at Ryouga.) Shinobu: Don't be sad. (She smiles up at him. He looks at her and smiles.) Ryouga: I'm just confused. Ranma: Will you two be quiet! Akane: They're not that loud. Shinobu: We'll talk if we want to! Ryouga: You be quiet, Ranma. Ryuunosuke: They aren't that loud. Tsubasa: Would you like me to get you some food, Ryuunosuke? I think I want some popcorn. Ryuunosuke: I'm full, thanks. How about you, Shinobu? (Ranma is starting to turn red.) Shinobu: No popcorn for me. Ryouga: Can you get me some, Tsubasa? Tsubasa: Sure thing. Akane: No popcorn for me. Ranma: BE QUIET! I can't hear a thing! (Ukyou giggles as the man behind Ranma whacks him in the head with a mallet.) Man: You be quiet! I can't hear the movie with you screaming for quiet! (Then he gets whapped for loudness. Pretty soon, the whole theatre is yelling and everyone is hitting each other. Meanwhile, in the movie that now no one is watching, the pair of lovers are being accosted by a large blurry shadow. It attacks the man and starts to slowly drain all the color out of him.) (Akane, Shinobu, and Ryouga are pounding Ranma into his seat while Ryuunosuke sits and watches the movie. In the chaos, Ataru slips into the bathroom.) Ataru: This is my big chance. (Ranma manages to slip out from under the pile and attack Ryouga from behind. He punches Ryouga into the man who whapped him earlier. The man begins pounding Ryouga. Akane and Shinobu turn around.) Akane and Shinobu: You shouldn't have done that to Ryouga! (They jointly boot him off across the room.) (Ryouga ties up the man with some of his bandanas. Shinobu comes up behind him and puts a hand on one shoulder.) Shinobu: Are you okay, Ryouga-kun? Ryouga: I've had worse. Lum: (realizes Ataru is gone) Daaarrrllliinng! Where are you? Random Bystander: Be quiet, you green haired bimbo! I'm watching the movie. (ZZZAAAPPP!!! Random Bystander chars nicely. She flies into the air, looking for Darling.) Ukyou: (to Lum) Looking for someone? Lum: Yes. I can't find Darling. Ukyou: (points) Men's room. Lum: Thanks. (She flies over there. The anarchy is dying down. Half the audience is unconscious. The movie is now showing Miyu talking to the girl whose boyfriend was killed by the Shinma...) (Ranma pries himself out of a pile of people and sits down on top of them.) Ranma: Hmmph. Some date. My uncute tomboy fiancee beats me up because I want to watch the movie. I'll just stay here. (Tsubasa comes back, and sits down. He passes a popcorn bucket to Ryouga, and keeps one for himself.) (While Lum watches the bathroom, a blonde haired girl comes out. Lum looks confused.) Lum: I thought this was a men's room. Girl: Someone horrible dragged me in! What a lech! Lum: Darling.... Girl: Then he climbed out the window saying he was off to date Ran! Lum: ...No Baka! (She zooms into the men's room) Girl: (The girl giggles, and pulls out a hot water thermos. She sprays herself...and is revealed to be Ataru with now blonde hair.) Ataru: That gets rid of Lum...now to date Ryuunosuke! Akane: (looks across the theatre at Ranma) Hmmph. He can just sit by himself for all I care. I'll just sit here with Ryouga. He's a nice guy unlike my baka hentai fiancee. (looks over at Ryouga, who is whispering back and forth with Shinobu as they watch the movie. They are sharing the popcorn bucket. Further down, she sees Ryuunosuke and Tsubasa talking and sharing a popcorn bucket. She sighs and sinks into her seat.) Baka, leaving me alone with cuddly couples. (Ranma looks over at the five of them, starts to get up, then sits back down.) Ranma: I...I can't go over there. Not after they attacked me. I just...wish...I wish I knew what Akane is thinking. (Tsubasa looks over at Ryuunosuke, who is absorbed in the movie. Her right arm is sitting on the chair arm between them.) Tsubasa: (thought) I wonder if I should try to hold her hand. (The blurry shadowy Shinma suddenly comes out on the movie screen and claims the life of another student. Ryu sits calmly while Shinobu shrieks and cuddles up to Ryouga, burying her face in his shoulder and upper chest. Tsubasa takes the cue, shrieks, and tries to bury his face in Ryuunosuke's shoulder and upper chest...except there is already a head there.) Ataru: (Who is now hanging on Ryu with his face in her upper right chest area) Ryu-chan! I am here to date you! (Ryu tries to pry him off, but he is sticking to her like glue. Tsubasa tries to pull him off Ryu, but fails.) Ryuunosuke: Get off me, you pervert! (Ukyou sees this) Ukyou: Time to intervene. Ukyou: Ataru, darling! (thought) The things I'll do to be rid of Tsubasa... (Ataru freezes. He grabs his water pistol, lets go of Ryu, pops up, and fires at the voice. Ukyou gets wet. Nothing happens, except now her dress clings to her figure even more than before. Ataru's jaw drops.) Ataru: Oh, baby! (Ryuunosuke slugs Ataru across the room. He bounces off the wall and starts running towards Ukyou on people's heads. But he dropped the water pistol.) Ataru: I'm coming for you, baby. (Ukyou pulls out a bag of pepper. Shinobu picks up the water pistol) (As Ataru passes Shinobu, she shoots him with the water pistol, and Ukyou throws the pepper in his face. He sneezes, gets wet, turns into a woman, then falls forward towards Ukyou...who gets out of the way. He whacks himself silly on a chair.) Ukyou: Did he really... (Ataru-chan gets up and gloms onto Ukyou.) Ataru-chan: Let's date, baby! What's your name? I'm Morobishi Ataru! The best guy in Japan! (People nearby see a girl hanging on a girl and start to mutter) Ukyou: You're a girl. Ataru-chan: I am not! I'm a...(looks down) Oh. (Pours more hot water from his thermos on himself. Instant boy) Ukyou: Jyusenkyo... Ataru: You know about that? Ukyou: (realizes she slipped up) You look like my cousin Jyu Senkyo. Ataru: Oh. (Shinobu giggles and shoots Ataru again. He reheats himself with the thermos. This goes on, for quite some time.) Tsubasa: Are you okay, Ryuunosuke? Ryuunosuke: Yeah. I get so sick of him sometimes...He is such a disgusting lech! (thumb pointed at Ataru) Tsubasa: May I...uh... Ryuunosuke: (back to watching the movie) What? Tsubasa: Never mind. (thought) [I want to do something romantic...but I'm not sure if she'll like it or hit me...] Ataru: Is your cousin as cute as you? (Still clinging to Ukyou, who is trying to get him off herself.) Ukyou: Let go of me! (thought) [If only I had brought one of my spatulas...] (Shinobu nails Ataru again.) Ataru-chan: I'll cling to you, baby, until you agree to date me! Ukyou: Never! (Ataru hot waters himself agian.) Ataru: I guess we'll be together forever then! Shinobu: Let go of that poor woman, Ataru! Bystander: Will you people shut up! Everyone: No! (Bystander goes down in a hail of thrown chairs, rocks, bandanas, etc...) Ranma: Why are you such a lech, Ataru? Ataru: You're one to talk with three fiancees! I never string women along with promises of marriage! I freely admit I want a harem! I'm honest about what I feel, unlike you! Ranma: Why, you...I don't string women along! It wasn't my idea to have three fiancees! Ataru: Then why don't you chose one of them and get it over with? Ranma: Er...uh..well... Ataru: Then the other two can become part of my harem! (Ranma looks angry. Akane is fuming. Ukyou looks ready to explode. Ryouga scowls at Ataru. Shinobu yanks loose a chair from the row in front of her and hefts it over her head. Ryuunosuke ignores Ataru and watches the movie. Tsubasa looks back and forth between Ryu and Ataru.) Shinobu: Baka! Why can't you just go away and stop ruining my date with Ryouga! (throws the chair. She drops the water pistol. Ukyou springs away with Ataru clinging to her, because she doesn't want to be hit.) (Everyone stares for a moment.) Ataru: Thanks, honey, for saving me. Ranma: Who is that women? Ryouga: She must be a martial artist to jump like that. Ryuunosuke: Hey, Tsubasa! (grabs his hand and pulls him around towards the movie.) Take a look at that! (Tsubasa sees Myu and Larva in battle with the Shinma. They have chased it into a carnival room of mirrors, and dozens of distorted reflections of the blurry creature are all around them. Larva starts breaking mirrors.) Tsubasa: I think they're in trouble. Ryuunosuke: Yeah. This movie is great. I'm glad I came to see it with you. (Tsubasa blushes, realizes Ryu is still holding his hand and hasn't realized it yet, and blushes some more.) Tsubasa: (thought) [I'll just not say anything] (As the movie continues, we see poor Ukyou busily darting all over the theatre trying to get Ataru off her. No luck. Ryouga has picked up the water pistol and is trying to get rid of it. He throws it far away into the crowd. Then the doors to the lobby open, and Lum flies in.) Lum: Darling? Crowd: SHUT UP!!! Can't you people ever be quiet?! Ataru: Uh-oh. Ukyou: Get him off me! Lum: Darling! (She winds up for the zap. Ukyou realizes what is coming and leaps away. The blast strikes Akane, Ryouga, and Shinobu, who go flying several rows forward. Ryu looks over briefly, then goes back to the movie. Tsubasa hasn't moved a millimeter since she took his hand. She still hasn't realized she is still holding it, and he doesn't want her to let go. He is stuck in an increasingly uncomfortable position.) Shinobu: Lum! Stop ruining our date! Can't you two fight elsewhere! Ryouga: Ow. (Akane picks up a chair, with someone in it, and instinctively hurls it at Lum. Meanwhile, Ukyou finally gets Ataru off her and hurls him at Lum. The chair and Ataru collide, falling onto some poor guy in the middle...) Mr. Soup: Ms. Noodle? Ms. Noodle: Yes, darling? Mr. Soup: This may seem like a strange place to propose to someone, but... Ms. Noodle: (excited) Yes...yes? Mr. Soup: Would you...(Wham! Ataru and chair (and guy in chair) fall on him, burying him. Ataru leaps off the chair onto the beautiful Ms. Noodle.) Ataru: Would you like to be in my harem? Ms. Noodle :AAAHHH!!!! (Lum zooms down at Ataru. The crowd has had it with these people and riots again. They attack everyone who has made any noise at all...including each other. Tsubasa begins fighting to defend Ryuunosuke, who gets angry that she can't see the movie.) Ryuunosuke: Get out of my way! (She begins bulldozing her way through to the front of the crowd. Tsubasa follows, covering her back from the riot.) (Ukyou sees them, and plows into the mob trying to help them. She can't fight as well without her spatulas, but the untrained mob is no match for her. Ranma begins jumping from head to head trying to get to Akane. Akane, Ryouga, and Shinobu are fighting back to back. Meanwhile, Lum is trying to drag off Ataru. She gets him airborne above the riot.) Lum: See what you've done, Darling! And you broke your promise! Ataru: It was all for Ryu's good! Lum: Silly darling! Now we'll just have to go attend that opera on Mercury that Oyuki recommended to me if we're going to have any fun this evening. Ataru: Ooh. Mercurian women! Lum: Sorry, all Mercurians are male. Ataru: NOOOO!!!!!!!(He gets hauled out the window by Lum.) (The riot continues. Ryuunosuke and Tsubasa find a seat up in the now empty front row as the riot continues behind them. Ukyou quietly takes up a position behind them fending off rioters. ) Ukyou: (thought) [If I go through all of this and they end up never going out on another date, I am going to kill both of them!] Ryuunosuke: You know what really makes me angry?! (glares at Tsubasa, who shrinks back in his seat) Tsubasa: Wh...what? Ryuunosuke: This riot is so loud I can hardly hear the movie. (Sits back in seat) Tsubasa: Hmm.... (He goes up the aisle. Moments later, a speaker waddles down the aisle and into the chair next to Ryuunosuke, who can now hear the movie perfectly. She stares at the speaker. Tsubasa's head pops out of the top of it.) Tsubasa: Better? Ryuunosuke: (laughs) Thanks, Tsubasa. Tsubasa: (smiles) Glad to help... (Ryuunosuke leans back in her seat and watches the movie. Tsubasa watches from inside the speaker. The riot continues, but they are blissfully unaware of it.) ********************* (Later, we see everyone at the train station. The two groups are about to split up...Ryuunosuke and Shinobu going back to Tomobiki, and Ranma, Akane, Ryouga, and Tsubasa going back to Nerima. Ukyou is nearby, watching and waiting for the Nerima train.) (Ranma sees Ukyou, but doesn't recognize her.) Ranma: Miss? Ukyou: Eh? Ranma: That Ataru didn't cause you too much trouble did he? Ukyou: R...No. I finally got him off me. Ranma: You look kinda battered. Ukyou: (She is a mess. The riot tore up her outfit, which is now quite torn and dirty. She still looks different from her usual self...the disguise is damaged but not broken.) Yes. The riot made a mess of my nice outfit. Ryouga: Where's your date? Why didn't he take care of you? Ukyou: I came alone. (wistful) I was there to make sure no one ruined a friend's date...acting as a guardian angel. Shinobu: Did it work? Ukyou: I'm not sure. (The train is pulling in for Tomobiki. We see Ryuunosuke and Tsubasa talking while the others talk to the disguised Ukyou.) Tsubasa: I..uh..Did you have a good time? Ryuunosuke: Well... (Tsubasa's face falls as she hesitates.) Ryuunosuke: The dinner was a disaster. (Tsubasa shrinks) Ryuunosuke: The movie was a disaster. (Tsubasa shrinks more.) Ryuunosuke: And my date dresses up in women's clothing. (Tsubasa is about an inch high now) Ryuunosuke: But... (Tsubasa looks up at Ryu with despair in his eyes) Ryuunosuke: I had a good time! Want to do it again next week? (Tsubasa smiles and leaps onto her, back to full size. ) Tsubasa: Yaay! Yes! When do you want to go out? (Ryuunosuke instinctively whaps him away into a wall.) Ryuunosuke: Saturday night at 6? Tsubasa: (Stuck into the wall). Gr...gr...eat. I'll see you then. Thanks for a lovely evening. (We see Shinobu hug Ryouga, who blushes and glances over at Akane, who is watching Ryuunosuke and Tsubasa. ) Shinobu: Ryouga-kun? Ryouga: Yes? Shinobu: Are you coming home to stay with my family for a while or going to Nerima for a while? Ryouga: Ummm...er... Akane: (to Ranma) I wish I knew what has happened to P-chan. I haven't seen him in days. (Ryouga sweats. Shinobu glances over at Akane, face hardens a little.) Shinobu: I'll miss you if you don't come. Ryouga: I...well...she.... Shinobu: Please? (flutters eyelids, and pulls his head down a little closer to her face. She smiles at him. He is overwhelmed by indecision and faints. She hefts him over one shoulder.) Shinobu: Come on, Ryuunosuke. We don't want to miss our train. Thanks for coming with us, Ranma and Akane. Ranma: Uh..thanks for inviting us. Sort of. Akane: Take good care of Ryouga-kun. (Shinobu and Ryuunosuke get on train, carrying Ryouga.) Akane: I wonder what gives him those odd fainting spells and trances. Ranma: Probably couldn't stand being around an uncute girl like you any longer, so he passed out to escape... (Akane punts him into the sky.) Akane: Ranma no Baka! Tsubasa: (still stuck in the wall) I'm in love... (end episode 4)