Displaced
An Utena Fanfic

By John Biles

**********

Wakaba Said:

	Yeah, I was surprised too.  I mean, when I think about 
it, really, it seems kinda inevitable.  It's like they were 
made for each other.  He's so handsome, and she's so 
beautiful, and they're both so elegant.  You should have 
seen them at the Homecoming Ball, dancing together.  I 
was so jealous I could have died.  

	He asked me to dance, that was the most amazing part.  
I mean, he could have been dancing with her, but instead, 
he came over and asked me to dance.  I mean, we've met, 
but Utena is closer to him than I am.  She seems to know 
the whole student council, though I'm not sure how.  And 
some of them don't like her very much.

	So, once I pulled myself together, I took his hand and 
let him lead me out onto the dance floor.  He dances 
wonderfully, you know.  Or maybe you don't.  Well, take 
my word for it.   I'm not very good at dancing, not like she 
is.  She was off dancing with the student council president  
while I was dancing with him.  

	We were waltzing.  I think.  I twirled about and 
followed his lead and did the steps as best I could.  When 
we reached the end of the music, he clicked his stop watch.  
Eight minutes and thirty three seconds.  I still don't know if 
this was a good or a bad time.  But he smiled to me and 
thanked me for dancing with him.  Thanked _me_ for 
dancing with _him_.  I'd dance with him any time.

	His sister was there, dancing with Saionji.  She looked 
more dignified than usual, probably because she was 
dancing with Saionji, who can make anyone look dignified.  
I still can't understand why she is so skanky.  Probably he 
got all the good bits and she got all the bad bits, given 
they're twins, I suppose.

	So, once I was done with Miki, he went and danced 
with Anthy, while I waited for someone else to come and 
ask me to dance.  And watched Saionji dance with Kozue.  
I know.  I shouldn't stare, shouldn't even think I might have 
a chance with someone like that.  Especially given he's 
been so cruel to me.  It's stupid.  And I know it.  But there's 
just something about my heart...it never listens to reason.  

	Sometimes that's good, and sometimes that's bad.  I 
know it's bad when it comes to Saionji, but I can't resist ice 
cream either.  Saionji and ice cream...sorry.  Back to my 
story.  

	So, I'm waiting for someone to dance with me, but my 
luck isn't very good.  Finally, Utena takes a break from 
dancing and comes to get a drink.  Before Anthy can drag 
her off as usual, I decided to swoop in.  Hey, she's my best 
friend, I can dance with her, you know.

	Utena smiles and takes me by the hand.  I know I 
embarrass her sometimes, but no one knows her like I do.  
There's times, I wish she was a guy, so she could really be 
my boyfriend, and have it not just be a joke.  But weird 
stuff like that only happens in anime and faerie tales.  

	We start dancing, circling the floor, and I see she's 
watching Anthy again.  I don't know what's going on with 
those two.  Sometimes I wonder if they're really lovers or 
something, but Utena...I think she'd be kissing Anthy in 
public if they were kissing at all.  But she's like Utena's 
shadow these days, and it just...it aggravates me.  Anthy's 
no fun, and I can hardly get Utena away from her.

	Damn, I sound like a jealous girlfriend.  Maybe I am.  
It seems like everyone has someone, even if Saionji just has 
a skank, and Touga has lots of someones.  Though I'm not 
sure if Saionji and Kozue are dating or not, but they seemed 
awfully close at the dance.  Anyway, back to my story.

	So, Utena twirls me around, and I spin on one foot, 
feeling, just for a moment, just like a princess.  It's weird, 
isn't it?  A little thing can make us so happy, for no 
apparent reason.

	Just as I finish twirling, I notice lots of people staring.  
The reason they're staring is that Kozue is kissing Saionji.  
I felt my mood deflate like a balloon.  I know I have no 
right to say anything; all I could do was stare unhappily.

	Utena glanced, and sighed, then turned me around so I 
couldn't see, and carefully, she started to make me dance.  I 
stumbled at first, tripping on her feet, but soon I was 
thinking about the music and the steps, not the kiss.  Not 
much, anyway.

	My mood felt better by the end of the dance, and 
Utena walked over to the snack table with me.  "He's not 
worth thinking about, Wakaba," she told me.  "He's a thug."

	"I can't help it," I said.  "I know it's stupid, but I can't."

	Utena sighed and got a cup of lemonade for me and 
one for herself and one for Anthy.  I watched everyone 
dance while she was getting them.  Miki and Juri were 
dancing together again, and I felt a little better, just from 
looking at them.  It's just so right, you know.  Some people 
are just made for each other.  

	I was a little jealous.  Not because I wanted Miki for 
myself, but just because they're lucky to have someone who 
loves them.  It's what everyone wants, isn't it?  And they 
just make such a perfect couple.

	Kozue came my way now, and I wondered what she 
was going to say to me.  We've never had a class together, 
or even spoken; I just know who she is because I know 
Miki.  Know him a little, anyway.

	Did she know how I felt about Saionji?  Had he told 
her?  Maybe he was sending her to mock me.  Kozue is 
very good at mocking.  I could feel myself getting nervous.  
I'm not a very clever talker.  I began trying to put some 
insults together in my head, just in case.

	She walked right past me to the snack table, leaving 
me with words dying in my mouth.  I felt like an idiot.  He 
doesn't think of me.  He didn't even mock me publicly 
because he hates me.  He just did it because he could.  He 
probably doesn't even remember I exist now.  Dammit.

 	Now Juri was coming my way.  I am not stupid 
enough to make the same mistake twice, so I mostly 
ignored her.  

	Naturally, she stopped and said, "Good evening, 
Shinohara-san.  Are you alright?  You look somewhat 
troubled."

	I half jumped out of my skin.  "Why, umm, no, no, I'm 
fine.  I'm not jealous of anyone or anything."  I really hate 
my mouth sometimes.

	She turned and gazed out across the dance, and for a 
moment, I could see a look of pain on her own face, and 
then it was gone.  I couldn't tell who she was looking at; the 
ball had a lot of students I barely know, if at all.  But I had 
to wonder what she was thinking of.  She turned back to me 
and said, "Let it go, Shinohara-san.  Jealousy makes fools 
out of all of us, and it is best not held to."

	"You can call me Wakaba," I said, smiling.  
"Everyone does."

	"Alright," she said.  I hoped she'd ask me to call her 
Juri, but instead, she said, "Would you like to dance?"

	I blinked in surprise, then said, "Sure."

	It was only when I started to dance with Juri that I 
suddenly realized Juri had been leading when I had 
watched her dance with Miki earlier, though he had led 
when he danced with me.  She dances wonderfully, I can 
tell you.

	She spun me around, and pretty quickly, I forgot all 
my worries.  She was smiling, or at least not frowning.  Juri 
doesn't seem to smile a lot, but she didn't look unhappy.  I 
hope my dancing was good enough to not cause her any 
trouble.  

	We circled past Utena dancing with Touga.  She 
looked a little trapped, and Juri smiled slightly at the sight 
of them.  I really can't quite tell what Utena thinks about 
Touga.  He's a worthless playboy, and I just can't see what 
she may see in him.  Or what all those other girls do.  He 
wants her to be something she's not.  And that's just wrong.  
So I think maybe...maybe it's like me and Saionji.  I know 
he's bad for me, but I want him anyway.  And I think 
maybe she's the same way.  

	We both need to get our act together like Juri and Miki 
did.  They love each other, not someone who doesn't love 
them.  I could see her tracking Miki with her eyes as he 
danced with...some girl.  She has purplish hair.  I think 
she's new, but I can't remember her name.  

	I wish I had someone I couldn't keep my eyes off.  
Well, who also loved me back.  I can stare at Saionji until I 
go blind, but he won't love me.  Deep down, I know that, 
but my heart...it's stupid.  

	Juri pulled me in close as the music swelled to its 
climax, and just for a moment, I thought she was going to 
kiss me.  I don't know what I would have done if she did.  
Besides die of embarrassment because half the school 
would have been watching us.  

	Instead, she simply dipped me low and swung me out, 
and it was over.  "You dance well," she said.

	"You're flattering me," I said.  She was, really.  I'm not 
that great.

	She looked at me assessingly for a moment, then said, 
"I never flatter.  I would not stoop to false praise."  I 
couldn't quite read her voice, to tell if she was offended.

	"I'm sorry," I said.  "I just don't think of myself as a 
good dancer."

	"You have much to learn, but you are a pleasant 
dancing partner, and you know how to follow someone's 
lead.  That can often be a rare trait."  She glanced across the 
room just as Touga and some girl with twin brown 
ponytails blundered into a table and the whole thing 
toppled over while everyone watched in horror.  "Case in 
point."

	I giggled a bit, then quickly put my hand over my 
mouth.  Juri did not bother to hide her amusement.  "I hope 
Touga isn't hurt."

	"You could see Touga carefully maneuvering to let 
her take the fall for him,"  Juri said.  "Though given it was 
her fault, I cannot entirely blame him."  

	I could see Miki coming towards us.  "Well, I think 
Miki is coming for you."

	"Yes, I suppose he is," Juri said.  "Good evening, 
Wakaba."

	"Good evening, Arisugawa-san."

	She looked at me contemplatively for a moment, then 
said, "You may call Juri, if you like."

	I felt my heart skip a beat, and I probably smiled 
bright enough to blind everyone else.  "Thank you, Juri-
san," I said.

	"Any friend of Miki's is a friend of mine," she said.

	Miki came up and said, "Hello, Juri.  Hello, Wakaba-
chan."  He smiled that bright smile of his.  "Shiori was 
teasing me about whether or not Wakaba might be trying to 
steal you away from me, Juri."  He laughed, clearly 
thinking this ridiculous.

	I laughed as well, until I noticed that Juri didn't seem 
so amused by it, though she was trying to laugh.  Miki 
didn't seem to notice that, though.  Shiori.  That was the 
girl's name.  I resolved to ask Utena about her.

	"It is difficult to resist Wakaba's charms," Juri said.  
"Have you two danced yet?"

	"Yes, we did earlier," Miki said.  "She dances very 
well."

	I blushed a little.  "Thank you," I said.

	"Then, would you like to dance again, Miki?" Juri 
asked.

	"Yes, I would," he said, taking her hand.  "See you 
later, Wakaba," he said.

	I smiled.  "You two have fun."

	He led her away and I turned to go to the snack table, 
nearly ramming face first into Anthy.  "I'm sorry!" I said 
hastily.

	"Oh, it's alright, Shinohara-san," she said cheerfully.  
"I should have been paying attention."

	I started to the drink table, and she followed me.  I 
tried to think of something to say to her, finally stumbling 
on, "Are you enjoying yourself?" I asked.

	"It's very fun," she said.  "Did you enjoy dancing with 
Juri-san?"

	"Yes.  She and Utena are both very good at leading."

	Anthy nodded.  I got her a glass of lemonade, and 
watched people dance.  I seem to do that a lot at these 
dances.  

	Utena finally escaped from Touga and came over to 
us.  "Did I see you dancing with Juri?" Utena asked.

	"She dances very well," I told her.  "Do you know that 
girl Shiori who Miki was dancing with?"

	"I think she's an old friend of Juri's," Utena said.  
"Beyond that, not really."

	"Right," I said.  "I was just wondering."

	Utena took a sip of lemonade, then said, "How come?"

	I wasn't sure if I should say anything.  "Do you know 
if she knows Miki from anything?"

	"Not a clue," Utena said.  "Are you plotting 
something?"

	"No, not really," I said.  Just having a nagging feeling 
of missing something.  "Will you dance with me again?"

	"Not having much luck with the guys?" Utena asked.

	"Unfortunately, no.  I'm rather plain."

	Utena frowned.  "Guys can be so stupid.  And you're 
not plain.  Sure, just let me have another glass of lemonade 
and rest a little."

	We danced, and the evening went on.  It would take 
too long for me to tell the whole story.  I got to dance with 
some guys, eventually, and Anthy somehow ended up in 
the punchbowl.  I never did find out how, but Utena and I 
ended up taking her home, dripping wet and smelling of 
lemons.  

	"You shouldn't have just stood there," Utena said to 
Anthy.

	"Yes, Utena-sama."

	"People will take advantage of you," Utena said.

	"Yes, Utena-sama."

	I began to wonder if she'd say that to anything.

	"Next time, if someone is going to throw you in the 
punchbowl, you should just punch them in the face," Utena 
said.

	"Yes, Utena-sama."

	"Then strip naked and run down the street shouting," I 
cut in.

	"Yes, Utena-sama," Anthy said, then paused.

	I began to laugh and laugh.

	Utena frowned.  "Anthy, are you actually listening to 
me?"

	"I was trying to clean my glasses," she said, looking 
flustered.  

	I took her glasses off, got my handkerchief out, and 
dried them off.  "There you go," I said.  She hadn't been 
trying at all, given they were still on her face, but Utena 
didn't notice.  

	"Thank you, Wakaba-san," Anthy said.  You can't 
fault her politeness, I suppose.

	"I can't always be there to defend you," Utena said.

	"I know you always will be there," Anthy said.

	"You have to stand up for yourself, or people trample 
on you," I said.  

	"Wakaba is right," Utena said.  I got a little kick out of 
that.  People don't say that a lot.  "You would have punched 
Kozue in the face, wouldn't you, Wakaba?"

	With the stories I've heard, I think I would yell for 
Utena instead of getting in a fight with Kozue.  But I said, 
"And then I'd kick her too."

	Utena started.  I think she must have been being 
rhetorical.  I'm really not violent.  I think.  But then she 
said, "See?"

	"I will kick Kozue the next time I see her, then," 
Anthy said.

	"No, no, just if she or someone else tries to throw you 
in the punch bowl or something," Utena said.  "Don't just 
attack her on sight."

	"Why did she throw you in the punchbowl?" I asked 
Anthy.

	"I don't know," Anthy said.

	I couldn't believe that, but Utena accepted it.  She's too 
trusting, sometimes.  "You didn't say anything insulting to 
her, did you?"

	"I just asked her if she was going to dance with Miki," 
Anthy said.

	"And that's all?" I asked.  Why would that get a bowl-
tossing?

	"That's all," Anthy said.  "Perhaps she didn't like my 
dress."

	Something strange was going on, but I decided to 
worry about it later, once I had some sleep.  

**************

Juri said:

	It sometimes amazes me how much you can make 
someone squirm just by smiling at them.  That is what I 
was doing as Touga threw Saionji and Kozue out of the 
ball.  I have no idea what Anthy said to Kozue, but she had 
made my night, whatever she said.  Kozue glared at me as 
if this was all my idea, but I was innocent this time.

	Miki ran off after Kozue, which was probably a good 
thing, as it let me get the amusement out of my system 
before he came back.  Laughing at his sister's humiliation  
would not help our relationship, so I always hide it when I 
do, as best I can.

	He was sombre when he came back, and he did not 
even time our dance, which was how I knew he was really 
bothered by it.  I could feel the gentle nibble of guilt on my 
mind, but I crushed it.  Kozue had undoubtably deserved 
anything she got, doubly so for being Saionji's date.  Any 
woman who dates Saionji is asking for pain.

	I do not like seeing Miki unhappy.  So I decided to do 
something about it.  "Worried about your sister?  I hope she 
is going to be alright." I asked softly.  I can fake 
compassion well, especially when it's not all fake. 

	"She's going to be unbearable when I go home," he 
said, sighing.  "Or she'll be asleep, and she'll get mad that I 
wasn't there for her to get mad at beforehand.  Or..."  He 
frowned.

	"Or she will go home with Saionji."

	He made a face, and I agreed completely.

	"I know I can't tell her what to do, but she just...I 
just..."

	"The man will undoubtably use her and toss her like 
kleenex," I said, putting some extra disdain into it.  For 
both of them, but Miki would never know that.  "I suppose 
you could challenge Saionji to a duel, but that would just 
make him angry at you without getting him to stop."

	Miki frowned.  "I know.  I just..."  He sighed, clicking 
his watch.  "I wish she had not taken it out on poor Anthy."

	"I am sure Tenjou will defend Anthy's honor," I said.  
I wonder, sometimes, exactly how far those two have gone.  
As far as Tenjou wanted to go, no doubt, given how the 
Bride behaves.  

	"I suppose so," Miki said.  "I will have to try to make 
sure nothing too bad happens.  I don't want to see her and 
my sister fight over Anthy."

	"Nor I," I lied. 

	"I wish I didn't have to go home tonight," he 
mumbled.

	"You do not have to," I said very softly.   "I have a 
room all to myself, after all."

	He blushed and began to stammer.  "Juri, you..."

	He is such a total innocent.  I find it intensely irritating 
sometimes, but it was endearing this time.  For a moment, I 
wondered if Saionji and Touga had ever been so innocent.  
They must have, but I find it impossible to imagine them 
that way.  Even I was innocent once.

	"Now, now, I am sure a man of the world like yourself 
has done this before," I said.  "No need to play coy."  I take 
too much pleasure in teasing him, sometimes.  He looked 
even more stunned.  "If you do not want to, I will not mind, 
but I would like it if you stayed with me tonight."

	"Kozue will worry about me," he mumbled.

	"You can give her a call and let her know," I said.  
"And we would need to go by your place, anyway, so you 
could get clean clothing for the morning, and leave her a 
note."

	"I...alright," he mumbled.  "Yes, I will," he said softly.  
"But I've never...I mean...I sort of know how, but..."

	"I have never been with a man," I said truthfully.  
"You will be the first."

	He licked his lips nervously, then clicked his 
stopwatch.  "Alright.  I will do my best."

	"You always do," I said, then kissed his cheek.  Kozue 
is going to blow her top over this, I thought.  Perfect.

*********
    
Kozue said:

	Juri, you bitch, I thought, as I read the note.  You're 
just using him to piss me off because of your stupid little 
friend.  Damn you.

	I should have thrown Shiori in the punchbowl, and a 
live wire in after her.  Stupid little cow, always hiding 
behind others.  What sort of person can stand to live their 
life using other people as shields?  A loser, that's what.

	 Like Anthy.  She uses everyone around her, attaching 
herself to someone and sucking them dry, then moving on 
to the next victim.  I hate people like that. 

	It's hard for me to tell how messed up Saionji was 
before she got her hooks into him, but I can still see the 
claw marks she left behind.  The man needs to learn how to 
at least fake not thinking about someone else while he's 
with a woman.  

	Not that I'm in the best of positions to complain about 
that.  

	I crumpled the note and threw it away.  He couldn't 
even stand to face me and tell me he's going off to spend 
the night with his strumpet.  Can't he tell she's using him?  
My brother, he can be so blind. 

	He's just so naive, thinking the best of everyone.  
Except me.  Why don't I get the benefit of the doubt?  He 
never approves of any of my boyfriends, never gives them 
a chance.  Admittedly, some of them were bad choices.  
But he dismisses them all.

	It makes me crazy sometimes.  Stupid Anthy.  

	I could go make a fool of myself.  That's probably 
what Juri wants.  But I won't.  Juri wins every round 
because I let myself get all emotional and don't think.  
While she's a cold-hearted bitch.  

	I'll just go to sleep, and I'll think on it.  Maybe I'll 
dream up some good idea for retaliation.  Or think of a way 
to break into Shiori's room and shave her bald as she 
sleeps.

	No.  Whatever I do, has to hurt her, but be beyond 
reproach.  This will take some thought.

**********

Miki said:

	I walked across the grounds with Juri, so scared I'm 
surprised I didn't faint.  I still can hardly believe I'm dating 
her.  
	
	I suppose I shouldn't have been.  We've gotten along 
well from the moment we've met, and we have common 
interests and talents.  The two of us spent more time 
together than either of us did with any of the other student 
council members.  Sometimes love just grows organically 
out of friendship.

	It's hard for me to say when exactly we moved from 
being friends into dating, though I suppose our first kiss 
would have been it.  Three minutes and forty-six seconds.  I 
think.  I was actually timing my performance and...well, let 
me start at the beginning.

	Some months ago, Juri began dropping by more often 
when I played the piano to listen.  I was very surprised, one 
day after that, when I came in and found her playing the 
piano.  She was not very good at it; she hadn't done it in 
years, ever since her mother made her take lessons as a 
child.  But she told me that I had inspired her to try it again.

	So I began working with her to build up her skills.  
Playing with her was tremendously fun; it's strange, I 
suppose.  For most people, playing an instrument is not a 
group activity, but for me, I am happiest when I am playing 
with someone, though playing for someone is nice as well.

	After this went on for some time, her mother 
apparently heard about it and sent Juri her own piano.  She 
asked me to help move it into her rooms, which was a lot of 
work, I'll tell you.  Finally, we got it set up and I tuned it.  

	Then I sat down at it with her to give it a test flight.  I 
wish I could say I remember exactly what we were playing, 
but I'm afraid that the kiss drowns out all other memory.  
We were covered with sweat and I think both of us felt very 
tired, but we were both smiling as we played.  The piano 
sounded wonderful, and the sun was shining in through the 
window, casting a glow over everything.  Right as we hit 
the four minutes and twenty two seconds mark (I think), 
Juri suddenly turned and leaned down at me, her fingers 
still playing without missing a note, and kissed my cheek.  I 
think she might have been aiming for my lips right off, but 
I don't think she's very experienced at kissing.  Which 
rather surprises me.

	The second shot was more accurate, and the whole 
world just seemed to freeze in place for me, except for the 
music.  I don't think either of us were playing now, but the 
music seemed to just go on and on.  

	I didn't faint, but I did manage to fall off the bench, 
dragging her with me.  She began laughing at me, and 
helped me up while I blushed and babbled and tried to pull 
myself together.  

	Love terrifies me.  The real thing, that is.  I was never 
this scared when I was in love with Anthy.  Maybe if I'd 
ever gotten anywhere with her, then I would have felt like 
this with her too, but I just...I worry, sometimes, that things 
will fall apart.  That I'll do something stupid.  That the end 
will be as much of a surprise for me as the beginning was.

	But it's worth the terror.  Juri is not a hugely 
affectionate woman, but her love is quiet and steady, like 
mine.  I'm not grandly passionate either, like Touga or 
Saionji are.  She has hidden pains, I hope I can help her 
with.  I know there's things she doesn't tell me, not yet.  But 
we have...we have time.  I hope.  If I don't botch things up.

	We reached her dorm, and went inside, walking 
through the silent hallways.  A few others who had been at 
the ball drifted past us.  I saw one pair stop at a door and 
watch us, whispering.  

	Half the school is going to know what we're doing, by 
the morning, I realized.  That made me even more nervous 
than knowing I hardly know what I'm doing makes me 
nervous.

	Kozue will freak out.  This was inevitable.  But I 
wanted Juri more than I wanted to placate Kozue.  And she 
may well spend the night with Saionji anyway.  It's not like 
I haven't slept alone in our room before.

	Juri unlocked her door and let me into her living room 
first.  It's pretty crowded now; the piano takes up a lot of 
space.  She pulled off her jacket and hung it up in the closet 
just inside the entrance.  I did the same with mine, feeling 
my nerves jangle.

	"Would you like some coffee?" she asked.

	"Yes, please," I said, even though I really knew 
caffiene was a bad idea.

	I sat down at the piano and began to play, letting the 
music soothe my nerves as Juri went into her kitchen and 
began making coffee.  Soon, the pleasant smell filled the 
air, and I felt my body stop trembling.

	It promptly resumed, however, when Juri leaned over 
me from behind and passed me a cup along with a peck on 
the cheek.  Her body was pressed to mine, and I could feel 
her breasts against my back.  My mind began to spin, and 
then I suddenly wondered if perhaps I was misinterpreting 
things.  Did she actually want to have sex, or was she just 
offering me a space on the couch?  It seemed like the 
former, but maybe I was assuming too much.    

	I'm going to spill coffee on myself, I realized as I tried 
to drink from the cup.  I put it down, quivering, wondering 
if I looked as scared as I felt.  "Thank you," I said.

	Her hands began to roam up and down my sides.  Juri 
is never this affectionate in public, and often not even in 
private.  I wasn't used to it, and I liked it, and it scared me 
tremendously.  "I envy your musical talents," she said 
softly.

	"I envy your swordsmanship and your elegance," I 
replied.  I don't have half her dignity, and though I keep 
trying, I think I will never match her with a blade.  "But 
you keep getting better at music every day."

	"You are trembling," she said softly, sounding a little 
guilty.  "Am I pushing you too far?"

	"No, no, I just...I've never done this before," I said.  "I 
want...I mean...I know where babies come from in the 
abstract...I mean, I know you aren't out to have a baby, but 
it's all..."

	She laughed, sliding a hand up my chest to the top 
button of my shirt and unbuttoning it.  Her fingertips 
played about my adam's apple and I shivered.  "We do not 
have to go all the way if you don't think you're ready," she 
said softly.  "I would not like it if a man pushed me too 
far."

	I thought about Juri naked and I felt myself getting 
aroused.  I'd fantasized about this before, more often since 
we started dating.  But I hadn't had the courage to try 
anything; I always seem to end up letting Juri make the first 
move.  "I'm just scared.  I know I shouldn't be.  I can tell 
you're not scared, but I'm not as brave as you."

	Her hand came up and ran along my cheek now.  "We 
should both take a bath after hours of dancing.  I think we 
should do it together, and then if you still feel too nervous, 
we can just sleep holding each other.  And if you are ready, 
then we can do it."

	I nodded.  A shower would do me good.  "Let's do 
that, then."

	I finished the piece.  Seven minutes, thirty four 
seconds, not counting the interruption.

	By the time I did that, Juri was already in the 
bathroom, getting the water running.  I rose, taking off my 
pants and shirt and draping them on the couch for lack of a 
better idea on what to do with them.  Juri's clothing was 
scattered all over the floor outside the bathroom, which 
made me feel a little better.

	A gentle waft of steam hit me as I stepped into the 
bathroom, which always smells like nutmeg, due to the air 
freshener.  Juri was already in the shower, so I got some 
soap from the dish, then hesitated.  I could see her outline 
translucently through the shower curtain; her figure is just 
incredible, and I felt my nerves jangle more.

	I almost forgot to take off my underwear, except that 
right as I reached hesitantly for the curtain, my manhood 
felt very strange.  Which was because it was trying to rise, 
but the underwear was holding it back.  So I took my 
underwear off and threw it in the hallway.  

	Juri giggled slightly, and I wanted to die.  But I 
stepped in, instead.  Water was streaming down her body, 
across her lush figure.  I'd never seen her naked, or even in 
a bathing suit before.  I stared at her breasts, water running 
down them in little rivulets along the curves.  Then I 
reached towards them ever so slowly.

	She took each of my hands and brought them over, to 
touch her breasts, holding them there until I stopped 
trembling, while she smiled at me.  It was strange; I could 
feel the worst of my nervous tension fading as I cupped her 
breasts with my hands, not sure of what to do.  

	So, I let go of her breasts, and soaped up my hands, 
and began to scrub her clean.  She looked surprised for a  
moment, then closed her eyes and let me stroke round her 
neck and shoulders, then down her arms, rubbing the grime 
and sweat of hours of dancing away.  

	It was soothing, bringing back memories of when 
Kozue and I were young enough to take baths together.  
Though Kozue never got me aroused like this.  Those were 
happy days.  I don't think I've ever felt so happy since those 
days until now.  

	I had to kneel down to scrub Juri's legs and feet, so 
muscular and smooth.  She has wonderful legs, I never 
realized how nice until now.  Juri was purring softly, and 
her lips sometimes formed words, though no words came 
out.  I wondered what she was saying, what was going on 
inside her head as I cleaned her.  I hoped they were good 
memories.

	Then I came up to the thing I had skipped on the way 
down, her groin.  I was nervous about touching it.  I knew 
in a vague, academic way how that whole area of the body 
is laid out, but in practice, it's all a mystery to me.  I know 
some women shave that area, but Juri doesn't.  Probably 
because she doesn't go swimming much, I suppose.  And I 
know I wouldn't want to put a razor near that part of my 
body.

	I fumbled about, and my fingers slipped between the 
folds, inside her.  She gave a loud yelp of surprise, and I 
quickly pulled my fingers out.  "I'm sorry," I said 
frantically.

	"No, no, do not worry," Juri said.  "You just surprised 
me, even though I should not have been surprised."  

	She reached down and gently ruffled my hair.  "Do it 
again," she told me.

	So I did, fumbling about various body parts I don't 
know the names of, but which Juri seemed to enjoy me 
touching.  She began to moan, louder and louder, and 
gradually, I was able to narrow down what made her moan 
the most, and I did more of that.  

	I had to fight the urge to go get my stopwatch; the part 
of me which obsessively times things was rising up in my 
mind, howling to be sated.  I ignored it, focusing on Juri, 
feeling my fingers get wet from her fluids, feeling her body 
shake.  Her fingers were grabbing my hair; it hurt a little, 
but I was too focused on her to entirely notice.  

	Finally, she began to howl and shake as if she was 
having a very personal earthquake.  She yanked my hair 
hard, and now I yelped loudly.

	Letting go of my hair, she leaned against the wall of 
the shower as the earthquake died down, her moans dying 
down.  She pulled me up, and her eyes were full of tears 
and she was smiling and I wasn't sure if I had done well or 
badly or both.

	And then she kissed me, pressing me across the 
narrow space of the shower, into a wall, leaning down, her 
hands sliding down my sides to my own groin, and taking 
my manhood with both hands.  It really wasn't big enough 
for two hands, and her fingers kept getting in the way of 
each other.

	I took one of her hands and pulled the other away, 
then curled her fingers of her left hand around my 
manhood, then guided her to slide them up and down it.  
She kissed me fiercely through this all, and I tried to get my 
hands clean so I could touch her without spreading her own 
fluids all over her.  

	Once I'd managed that, I stroked her sides and her 
back as she stroked me and kissed her as fiercely as I could 
manage, which wasn't half as fiercely as she could.

	Hot water and steamy air embraced us, and I quickly 
felt myself about to come.  I tried to say something, but was 
too busy tasting her tongue to manage it.  Instead, I came 
onto her hand, giving a sharp moan through the kiss.

	It was over quickly, too quickly.  I started to go limp, 
but she kept stroking and kissing me.  Getting hard again, I 
came faster this time, and then started to go limp again, and 
stayed that way.  The hot water gradually washed away my 
sperm, and our kissing gradually died down.

	Finally, she said softly, "You were great.  We should 
wash our hair."

	"You were great too," I said softly, reaching for the 
shampoo bottle.  To my surprise, I could feel myself 
starting to get hard again; my brain dimly summoned 
something about hormones at my age.  But I wasn't sure if I 
could really carry though to try and...I wasn't sure how to 
do it right.  I want Juri's first time...full time...whatever the 
right term is, to be special.  And for me to know what I'm 
doing.  "It's really...complicated down there."

	She laughed slightly.  "While you are not so 
complicated, yes."  She kissed my forehead gently.

 	"Here you go," I said, squeezing a handful of shampoo 
onto my hand, then passing it to her.

 	She squeezed herself a handful, then began to 
shampoo my hair as I shampooed hers.  She hummed a 
little tune as her fingers slid through my hair, the tune I'd 
played earlier, so I began to hum it as well.

	As any logical man would expect, she finished before 
I did; Juri has lots of hair, and it takes forever to scrub it all.  
But I enjoyed it.  I wasn't shaking any more; I felt warm all 
over, instead.

	Finally, I finished, and we stepped out and began to 
dry ourselves off.  I was done quickly, but Juri had to blow-
dry her hair, which takes a while.  So I was already into my 
pajamas by the time Juri emerged, still only clad in a towel.  

	I sat down on the bed.  It was going to be crowded, but 
we could cuddle, so it would be okay.  I hoped, anyway.

	Juri put on a sheer nightgown which didn't hide much; 
I felt a faint thrill from it, though it was the most my body 
could manage.

	Then she came over and sat down beside me, 
yawning.  "You had better be on top," she said.  "As I do 
not think we will have room, side by side."  

	"Alright," I said, getting up and letting her lie down, 
then climbing up on top of her. 

	It took some fumbling about for us to get comfortable.  
Her body was nice and warm, and the sheets were soft.  I 
won't ever forget this night, I thought.  "Goodnight, Juri," I 
said softly.

	"Goodnight, Miki."

	And then we slept.

**********
Kozue Said:

	I dragged myself out of bed as the phone rang.  
"Hello?" I asked groggily.

	"Hello, Kozue," Mother said.  "How are you today?"

	"Tired," I replied.  "There was a ball last night."

	"That's nice," she said.  Mother says that all the time.  
It's her default when she doesn't know what else to say.  
"Did you and Miki have a good time?"

	"I had a good time," I said.  Not exactly true, but if I 
told Mother everything that happened, she'd chide me.  I 
can't stand that.  "How are you?"

	"I am doing well.  Your father thought I should call 
and check on how you two are doing; you haven't called in 
a while."

	My love for my brother and my irritation at him 
warred with each other, as I tried to decide whether to 
mention that Juri and Miki had gone to her rooms for him 
to fuck her brains out. My parents would never approve; it 
would torpedo their relationship if my parents knew and 
had anything to say about it.  But it would also make Miki 
very angry with me, and for all that he doesn't approve of 
my boyfriends, he's never told our parents 'Oh, Kozue is off 
fucking, she can't come to the phone.'  I would know, 
because they would NEVER shut up about it.

	On the other hand, I couldn't just let Juri get away 
with all this.  "Miki has a new girlfriend.  Perhaps you 
should come meet her."  Surely they would see how much 
of a cold fish she is and probably even figure out what she 
is up to.  Well, Mother wouldn't, as she's not very bright, 
but Father sees through most idiots.  If nothing else, it 
would put some pressure on her to be nice to my brother.  

	"Oooh," Mother said.  "I didn't know that.  Hmm, 
perhaps I will.  I think we could come up on Sunday."

	"That sounds fine to me.  Call us again once you know 
what time so we can meet you at the station."

	"We will, honey," she said.  "See you then."

	"Goodbye, Mother," I said.

	"Goodbye, honey."  And then she hung up.

	It was only after I hung up that I realized they'd never 
actually visited us here except for special parents' days 
before.  And even those, they sometimes couldn't come to.  
Perhaps my luck was looking up.

	I wandered off to make myself some breakfast and 
plan my offensive.

**********
Juri said:

	I woke up, rain beating gently against the window.  
Miki's body was warm against mine.  He was smiling in his 
sleep, and I stroked his hair gently.  For the moment, I 
could forget myself, forget how I got into this, and just 
relax and be his girlfriend.  For the moment, nothing else 
mattered.

	It would be easier, most of the time, if I was either 
more wicked or less wicked.  If I was less wicked, I would 
not have gotten myself into this situation.  If I was more 
wicked, I would never feel guilty.  I am sure that Kozue 
does not.  Instead, I am playing tug-of-war with Kozue for 
control of Miki because of my stupid pride, feeling guilty 
about it, but not guilty enough to stop.

	Sometimes I tell myself I do love him.  Maybe, 
sometimes I do.  It felt that way, at that moment.  There 
was just us, and Kozue was forgotten, even by me.  I just 
wanted to lie there and hold him and be held.  

	It all started when I noticed Kozue and Shiori 
spending a lot of time together.  I wouldn't have thought 
anything of it, until I overheard several girls discussing 
whether or not the two of them were having sex. 

	I couldn't believe it.  So I ignored them.  But I could 
see things, and it seemed just like Kozue to go around 
seducing people to amuse herself.  And I kept hearing the 
stories.  

	So I confronted Kozue about it.  She laughed at me 
and told me to go fuck myself.  If I could manage that 
much.  

	That was all the confirmation I needed of what she 
was doing to Shiori.  I had to do something.  

	I brooded for a while, trying to decide what to do 
about it.  It was an accident, really, which set me on the 
road I now walk.  I had gone to listen to Miki play one day, 
only to find he was not there.  So I sat down and tried to 
force my fingers to remember the tunes I had been taught 
as a child while I waited.

	Miki showed up and was surprised to see me playing.  
As we talked, Kozue came by the room and saw us and 
glared angrily at us.  Seeing her angry warmed my heart, so 
I decided to ask Miki to help me practice.  

	One thing led to another.  The closer I got to Miki, the 
more it drove Kozue insane.  And I wanted her to suffer.  I 
also told myself that it would be good for Miki to finally 
get out of Kozue's clutches.  But I would be lying to say 
that I was not primarily doing it for myself, much as I 
would like to justify it with pretty phrases.  And for Shiori.

	I cannot really love Miki so long as I cannot forget 
about her.  He is a dear friend to me, and for some values of 
love, I think I could say I love him.  I care about him, and if 
anyone tried to hurt him, I would make them suffer.  
Especially if they were Kozue.  But if Shiori came up to me 
and asked me to be her lover, I would dump Miki like a 
rock and run away with her, even if it meant Kozue would 
win.

	There is enough of her in him that it helps.  She is 
young and innocent and naive, if not quite so much as 
Miki.  They both can drive me insane with that, and yet it is 
what I find most attractive in them as well.  They have so 
many qualities I have lost.  

	I wish Miki was a woman.  If he was, I could forget 
Shiori in his arms.  It helps that he is rather feminine as 
men go, close to his sister in appearance.  Some women 
would not like that, but I do.  

	Maybe, in time, I will forget.  There are times that I 
do.  But probably that is just the sort of wishful thinking I 
despise.  I might as well wish for a passing faerie to turn 
him into a woman.  There are no such thing as miracles, 
however much I may sometimes wish for them.  

	I do not know how this will end, but I fear it will be 
bad.  I cannot date Miki forever just to spite Kozue.  Or at 
least, I should not.  He deserves better.  The longer we do 
this, the further we go, the worse it will hurt both of us 
when it ends.  If it ends.  I cannot see how to end this 
without Kozue feeling she has won, without feeling that 
myself as well.  

	And I cannot stand to let her win.  

	On the other hand, I cannot say that dating Miki has 
been terrible.  He is a kind and attentive lover, the sort of 
man who is far too rare.  And I enjoyed our bath together; it 
was much more pleasant than finally breaking down and 
masturbating myself in utter frustration, which is all I have 
done in the past.

	But for now, I could forget all that, and just lie in bed 
and relax.  I could believe that all would be well.

	Naturally, the phone now rang.  I reached over and 
picked it up as Miki stirred.  "Hello?" I asked.

	It was Kozue.  "Hello, this is Kozue.  Tell Miki our 
parents are coming to meet you tomorrow."

	"What?"

	Very slowly, like she was talking to a two year old, 
she said, "Hello, this is Kozue.  Tell Miki our parents are 
coming to meet you tomorrow."

	"To meet me?" I asked in surprise.

	"Mother is very excited," Kozue said.  "They'll arrive 
at 10:30 on Sunday, if the trains cooperate."

	Miki mumbled, "Did the phone ring?"

	I kissed his cheek as loudly as I could.  "Your parents 
are coming to meet me tomorrow," I said to Miki.  "Your 
sister is on the phone."

	Miki's eyes widened.  "She...what?"

	"Would you like to speak to Miki?" I asked Kozue.

	"Yes," she said.

	I passed Miki the phone and got up to make some 
breakfast.

	The english muffins were toasting nicely when Miki 
emerged.  "Pour us both some orange juice, please."

	"Do you think..." he began as he dug the bottle out of 
the refrigerator.  

	"I do not think she told them where you are right 
now," I said.  "You will have to brief me on them, so I 
know how best to impress them."

	He kissed me on the cheek.  "Just be yourself.  I think 
my parents will really like you."  Then he poured two 
glasses of orange juice and then went searching for fruit in 
the refrigerator.

	Another milestone, I thought.  The further I go, the 
harder it will be to get out.  But I could not back down from 
this.  It was pretty obvious Kozue had engineered this as 
her next move.  

	I would be ready.

***********
Wakaba said:
	
	Utena and I had a picnic lunch.  To my surprise, 
Anthy wasn't there; I didn't mind.  It was kind of nice to 
have Utena all to myself.

	"Tatsuya was really unhappy when I accidentally 
stepped on his foot," I told Utena.  "But we had fun 
dancing.  How was Keiichi?"

	Utena grimaced.  "You missed when I had to slap him.  
But that was right before Kozue decided to be a pain and 
threw Anthy in the punchbowl."

	I spotted Miki and Juri coming our way and waved.  
They waved back.  I am just so jealous of them.  I wish I 
had a boyfriend I could spend my Saturday with.  

	Miki said, "Oh, I was hoping Anthy would be here, so 
I could apologize to her for what happened."

	"It wasn't your fault, Miki," Utena said.  

	He sighed.  "I'm not even sure why she did it."

	"Anthy wasn't sure why, either," Utena said.  "So 
where are you two off to?"

	"We're off to a cafe for lunch," Miki said.  "And to 
scout out somewhere nice to take my parents to, 
tomorrow."

	"Oh, they're visiting?" I asked.

	Miki nodded.  "They want...they want to meet Juri."

	"That should be fun," I said.  "I'm sure they'll like Juri-
san."  I got a little thrill out of that.  Silly, really, but hardly 
anyone gets to call her by name.  First name, that is.  I don't 
know why I qualify now, but I'm glad I do.

	"Good luck, sempai," Utena said.  "Though I'm sure 
Miki's parents won't be too harsh."

	"I hope not," Juri said.  

	"Just be yourself," I told her.  "Trying to pretend to be 
something you are not always leads to disaster."

	She winced at that.  "Lies are not always revealed, but 
it is unwise to count on them staying hidden, I agree."

	Utena said, "I'm sure that it will go well.  Just be 
honest.  You have nothing to hide, as far as I know."

	"It'll be fine, honey," Miki said.  

	Juri started, then smiled at him.  "I am sure it will be.  
But one must plan for the worst."

	"I'm sure it will go well," I said.  Everything goes well 
for people like them.  It's like they're in some special part of 
the universe where everything is beautiful, and they just 
visit the rest of us, sometimes.

	I wish I could live there.  I wish I could have a 
fairytale romance like theirs.  Balls and close dances and 
romantic trips to the cafe, and everything so beautiful and 
elegant.  Like in a fairytale.  But girls like me don't get to 
live like that, no matter how much we dream.  

 	Still, wouldn't it be nice?